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Persiflager
Gah, that's rubbish! I really resent the time-suck of long messages, especially compared with how much quicker it would be to read the same thing in an email.

I can guarantee that out of every 10 voicemails, 7 will have been repeated in an email or they'll have spoken to me in person, 2 will be cold-calls from pain-in-the-arse recruitment consultants, and the last one will be a minute of silence because one of my colleagues has a broken phone but still keeps using it to call people huh.gif

New confession: I just got a teeny tiny thrill from buying my first Stanley knife. Yep, I'm dangerous now!
auralpoison
Confession: I AM MADDER THAN HELL AT THE CITY! These humps take their own sweet time with shit & then have the NERVE to put deadlines on ME! They wrote me a citation January 25, 2010 that I did not receive until May 8th. The citation had a hand written note on it saying the situation needed to be handled by May 5th or blahblahblahblahblah. Fines, court costs, & POSSIBLY THIRTY DAYS IN JAIL. Because a "blue Intrepid" appears to be "abandoned or inoperable" on my property. No, fuckstick. There is a GREY 300M PARKED behind my house, in my driveway & it OPERATES fine, THANK YOU VERY FUCKING MUCH! I'd understand if it was an eyesore on cinder blocks in the front yard, but it's ON MY FUCKING DRIVEWAY. HOW IS THAT ABANDONED?! WHY DO THEY THINK IT IS INOPERABLE? DID THEY BORROW MY KEYS & CHECK?!

!!!!!ASSHOLES!!!!!
Persiflager
Confession: In an effort to beat today's procrastination, I just googled an ex-Bustie's livejournal and spent 10 minutes reading her posts until I was so bored I preferred to work instead.

Hurrah, corporate tax is now (relatively) exciting!
anarch
Confession: I was in a hurry this morning and cheated on a 4-way stop. Came to a rolling stop, and turned fast enough to make a couple jump back from the kerb (I realized after the fact that they were intending to cross the street I was turning onto, not the one I was exiting). I saw in my rearview mirror that the guy shook his fist at me.

Now I feel bad for ruining their morning.
stargazer
Confession: I am secretly hoping for my colleague to experience a setback professionally this summer because she acts like a know it all. I will be happy to see her downfall. I think life is about to hand her some humble pie.

Confession 2: I do not feel guilty for the abovementioned statement.

archegonia
confession: i tape poetry up in bathroom stalls because i'm addicted to the lift it gives me. i love the buzz.
deschatsrouge
Mrs. Rouge's Father is dying and last week she said to me; I don't think I have anything appropriate to wear to my father's funeral. Which leads me to my confession:

I wish my Father in Law would die already, but not before Mrs. Rouge finds the perfect dress to wear to his funeral. When he dies I want everyone to feel relieved because a long suffering alcoholic jackass of an id is no longer a burden to the rest of us.
auralpoison
Confession: I believe in drastic measures.

Confession: I cry a lot. Right now I hurt terribly missing a piece I have real right to.
auralpoison
Confession: I am frequently a bad person.

Confession: I sometimes ignore things in the hopes that they will go away.
coffeebean
confession: I have cried almost everyday over the past two months
confession: I ignore my own feelings in order to protect the feelings of my partner ... but it is taking an emotional toll on me
stargazer
(((coffeebean)))

(((AP)))
stargazer
Confession: The rant about death from 3:00 - 6:00 in this clip is how I feel about death as I get older.
auralpoison
Confession: I have become a hermit. Or at least "that lady that lives in that house that nobody ever sees except when she's bringing in the groceries. She seems to buy a lot of fresh produce & sometimes her porch looks like it's on fire because her grill is raging. And she gets a LOT of mysterious boxes."
damona
confession: the mr is home tonite, and i feel guilty that i'm not hanging out with him, but i'm just not in a chatty mood. so he's reading and i'm online.
auralpoison
Confession: I sometimes wonder if it wouldn't be better for B if I just cut & run so he could move on & find somebody better than me to be with. But then he does something so miraculously, mind-blowingly, singularly fucking weirdly perfect for me that I realize that we're pretty much made for each other.

Confession: This completely freaks me out.
archegonia
confession - i used to not want to be the type of person who could move somebody's kids away from them, but i've been dragged through shit for so long that i dont really give a fuck anymore. and it feels good to be free of guilt that doesnt belong to me.
bubblegumtrash


sometimes it's easy to become a hermit and lock yourself away from the world for months -or years- at a time, because it can be so confounding and heartwrenching.

my confession is that secretly, and in epiphanies that generally come around two thirty in the morning, i begin to suspect i might make it after all.
auralpoison
Pssssst! Bubblegumtrash. Welcome! Stop by the Newbies thread & introduce yourself.
archegonia
confession: i'm afraid
RoxieRage
Confession: Now that I've lost so much weight, I wish I still had it to hide behind. Even though it was really hard to lose it and I spent years hating myself. I hate looking in the mirror and seeing that I have a figure now because it means people will pay attention to me, and they have.
auralpoison
(((((Roxie)))))

(((((Archegonia)))))

Confession: It is amazing to me how long buried feelings can rise to the surface so quickly to overwhelm. I actually blushed & couldn't wipe away the silly grin!

Confession: Can't. Stop. Flirting. And it's public. And soon enough somebody is gonna comment on it.
auralpoison
Confession: I hate it when guys call me by my last name. I don't introduce myself to them that way, some of them just start addressing me that way after time. It's like they can't handle my femaleness, so they strip me of it by not using my feminine proper name. Somehow ***** is less threatening to them than Aural, so I wind up being *****. And when I ask them to stop, they get all defensive about it, like I asked them to do it or something & am suddenly reneging. I never said it was okay or that I liked it, so cut it out. I am not one of the homies, I am a grown-assed woman. If you can't handle it then fuck off.

QUOTE(lorewolf @ Jun 22 2010, 08:40 PM) *
Simehow, Mz. Poison doesn't sound so objectable, though smile.gif ... For a super-villain, that is.


If my last name *was* "Poison" or they included a "Ms." it wouldn't chap my ass so much. But my last name is a single syllable body part that is basically barked at me. It makes me cray cray!
anarch
QUOTE(auralpoison @ Jun 16 2010, 01:35 PM) *
Confession: Can't. Stop. Flirting. And it's public. And soon enough somebody is gonna comment on it.


This reminds me of a confession I should have made in December: I couldn't stop flirting with someone who was really an inappropriate target for me to be flirting with at all, much less as aggressively as I was. Flirting AT him, really, since he reciprocated a little out of politeness but really he wasn't interested in any of it. I wrote him an apology email afterwards. God. It probably didn't occur to me to write about it here because even now it still makes me cringe. I was behaving like one of those stupid catcallers who just won't let their targets in peace. I can explain it as "I was off my fucking rocker because I was recovering from the worst year of my adult life" but there wasn't any excuse for it.

Ahem. I actually came in here to confess that I as good as yelled at a Bank of America peon today, who was in no way responsible for the fact that I'd already spent half an hour this morning talking to two BoA reps about the fact that BoA apparently has no record of receiving our June mortgage payment. The first rep said "Oh they applied it to your principal, not the monthly." The second said "I don't know where she got that info because I can't find a record of any June payment anywhere." Luckily there's a paper trail through the company that arranges the biweekly payment -- they have a record that BoA cashed the check in the first week of June. They'll fax BoA a copy of the cancelled check tomorrow.

So I thought it was settled for the next little while, and then this poor peon who was probably in India calls me to announce that we're late with our mortgage payment and there's a +$100 late payment penalty. Towards the end I started ranting about whether BoA would retract the penalty fee for its own error, while she I'm sure was following a script that dodged acknowledging the possibility that BoA was at fault. Her voice was shaking as she rushed through the closing lines. Whoever the hell you are, I know you'll never read this, but I'm so sorry for raising my voice at you.
stargazer
QUOTE(auralpoison @ Jun 22 2010, 11:31 PM) *
It's like they can't handle my femaleness, so they strip me of it by not using my feminine proper name. Somehow ***** is less threatening to them than Aural, so I wind up being *****.


I thought about your post after I read it yesterday. I think you are onto something. I work in a male dominated site, corrections setting (I know you know this info, AP. Just posting for the others). They all refer to themselves by their last names in front of the inmates. I was told that using their first names was too personal. The use of last names also happens in the military.

Not to sound like I'm gender stereotyping, but, it does seem like the use of last names in their interpersonal relationships allow men to use a certain amount of distance in their relationships. With that perspective, your belief of your first name being too much for them, too feminine, too personal, too close...it totally makes sense.

OR, I just made myself sound really cray cray in this post. laugh.gif

(((anarch))) I hope things work out with BoA.
anarch
Thanks star!

Confession: I spent too much at the farmers' market today.

Couldn't resist 3 baskets of organic strawberries, different varieties: Seascape, Albion, and Chandler. Apparently Albion is what we normally see in grocery stores, because they're firmer and can stand up to shipping better. The farmer said that you probably wouldn't see Chandlers in stores because they're too delicate to go very far, for very long. They're the ones I liked best. They're like the dark chocolate of strawberries, with a subtle bitterness that highlighted and complexified the sweetness. Had to bring home the different varieties so mr anarch could taste test too, though. Well it works out to a reasonable deal anyway, $7 for 3 pint baskets.
auralpoison
QUOTE(stargazer @ Jun 23 2010, 05:54 PM) *
I thought about your post after I read it yesterday. I think you are onto something.

Not to sound like I'm gender stereotyping, but, it does seem like the use of last names in their interpersonal relationships allow men to use a certain amount of distance in their relationships. With that perspective, your belief of your first name being too much for them, too feminine, too personal, too close...it totally makes sense.

OR, I just made myself sound really cray cray in this post. laugh.gif


I'm dead serious. No cray cray. I really think it's a means of distancing themselves from me to make themselves more comfortable & I really think it's all about my sex/gender & their expectations/standards of that. I don't necessarily jibe with their preconceived notions, so I am held at arm's length for it.
lorewolf
I guess I've never been part of a culture or subculture that calls people by their sur-names. My BIL grew up in Vermont, and they tend to do the sur-name thing between friends, or perhaps he'd be "That Berry Kid" to some townspeople. My wife reports never being called by hers, though.

I guess some people tried calling me "Chee" at work, but it doesn't seem right to them either, and they eventually call me my first name instead.

Oh, and I confess I will be a Zombie this Saturday, since OtterMan and I are entering the Red White & Dead zombie festival in Seattle. Actually, that's more like confessing to being huge geeks wink.gif
buttercups
The universe has smiled upon me today and all i can say to that is: it's about damn time!

Ex- bf who treated me like shit after over 6 years of us going out once he got a new gf and decided to completely cut me out of his life without any explanation whatsoever, posting disgustingly PDA-style fb profile pics of him and his new bitch for me to see, waiting the appropriate time for me to soak it all in before cutting off all contact, will now, for the first time, actually see that i've moved on from his dumb ass!

I just changed my fb profile pic for the first time in 5 years to a picture of me and my now-bf the other day. This morning, a mutual friend invited both me and my ex to a party on fb. I know he's going to check and see whos invited (specifically for me bc he only knows this friend through me), and when he does he will see that he's not the only one whos dating someone else.

So my confessions:

1) Confession: I am totally excited over this stupid high-school-ish thing because I would love for him to just for a moment feel that pang of jealousy.

2) Confession: No, I don't want it to be just for a moment, I want it to last a loooonnngggg time

3) Confession: Tempted to RSVP "no" to this party and then show up when he thinks his ass is safe

4) Confession: Its clear I care way too much about this, time to go back to forgetting the asshole again!
Persiflager
*tip-toes in*

BOO!
auralpoison
AAAAARGH! Ya tryin' ta scare the peewaddlin' outta me or what?!
auralpoison
Confession: I am constantly amazed by the level of shit men are capable of talking. Seriously.

I occasionally have interactions with this local fellow that really fancies himself quite the big baller. Dude's twenty-four, on probation for underage drinking/maryjane posession, no education, & fat as fuck*. He is often dispensing his sage wisdom, telling tall tales, trying to sell bootleg dvds, & trying to diversify his various gambits in get-rich-quick schemes. In short: he is imminently laughable, but most of the time I keep it together just to listen to him dig his own hole ever deeper.

A local business man's daughter is on the ladies' pro motocross circuit & she is a very gifted rider. She's young yet, but def has champion potential. So today we ran into the business man, the two conversed briefly. As we made to leave, dude started telling his friend about the daughter & how he could "really offer her some excellent tips". I could not help myself, I busted out a single guffaw. This fat fuck offering up motocross tips? I doubt he could lift his porky-ass leg high enough to get ONTO a motocross bike, let alone ride one well enough to offer tips to a professional woman rider. He wanted to know what was so funny, I simply said, "Those who can do. Those who can't teach**." And those that talk shit? Don't accomplish anything but talking shit. You are not the last of the HARD men, homeboy.

Confession: Lazy people that want you to do all of their work for them make me want to scream. Seriously. I KNOW YOU ARE NOT MENTALLY CHALLENGED. You just don't want to take the time or the energy to do it on your own because you are a lazy fucking git & your brain just can't be taxed with anything beyond what is on the telly tonight.

* Do not get yo draws in a bunch. He is fat as fuck & it bore mention in relation to him being on a motocross bike. He's not gross or icky or dirty or bad fat. He's LAZY. He's not lazy because he's fat, he's fat because he's lazy.

** I have NO problem with teachers, we need them. But we all know what the cliche really means: shut the fuck up, you armchair QB.
stargazer
Confession: I don't know where my mind is or I'm just changing my interests, but, I used to be consumed with current music/movies. Now, I find that I could care less. I'm not sure if it is a lack of interesting new material or my interests has changed...I'm sure it is a combination of both. Internet dating has made me realize that I could care less to list the type of books, music, movies, etc....that I like. 7 years ago, I could've rambled off a list of things with no problem. Now, I'm like "meh" I like what I like I hate labels type. Maybe I'm just a curmudgeon-y woman in disguise. laugh.gif wink.gif blink.gif
auralpoison
Confession: Right now I want nothing to eat but chocolate cake with lots of frosting.

Y'know Star, it's funny. When I was in my twenties I was all about the newnownext things. I wasn't a gold star hipster, but I had hipster tendencies. Then all the shit started & I kinda just said fuck it to everything. But in the past several months I've really gotten into music again. Like, I've downloaded more music in the past three months than I did in the last two years. I'm catching up on all the movies & tv shows I didn't watch, too. I'm not all nuts about it, but I'm kinda glad that I'm starting to care again. And I'm feeling the overwhelming urge to make mix cds for everybody. blink.gif

I have a friend that's a good ten years younger than me & he's still all into the newnownext & is a total gold star hipster & I tease him over it mercilessly. I was silly, but he's uber-silly in that Vice magazine sort of way. Like, he pretends to talk with a NY accent, he wears an UO keffiyeh around his neck & white jeans, he's all about fixed gear bikes, & has started sporting a corny fucking mustache. I got new glasses that I hadn't had corrective lenses put into yet & he wore them around all weekend with the fake lenses still in them. I can't help but shake my head & hope I wasn't that bad.
stargazer
QUOTE(auralpoison @ Jul 20 2010, 04:11 PM) *
Confession: Right now I want nothing to eat but chocolate cake with lots of frosting.


I'll eat the cake with you, but, only if we can drink Young's Double Chocolate Stout with it!

QUOTE
And I'm feeling the overwhelming urge to make mix cds for everybody. blink.gif


I'll take one! Sharing is caring my friend....
girltrouble
i was just thinking about that today, star. i used to be all about finding some obscure foreign film or director, and in the last year i'm lucky if i bother to see the newest blockbuster if i can get a free ticket. i've seen one movie in the last month-- something i haven't been able to say in probably more than 15 years, and it doesn't really bother me. i know a lot of it is the tattoo thing, but still, of all the things i've been passionate about, nothing has ever been able to take film off that #1 spot....

confession: i'm always down for choco cake.

confession: i suspect R & S, who teach me at the tattoo shop think they are older than me, although i know i'm a good 8 years older than R, and 12 years on S. it's weird that people take me as being younger, although i do cultivate it.

confession:a guy came in the other day, and after he left r and s were talking about how little he understood about women, which was funny, because i was thinking about how hard he was posturing to be a man. but after everything, i wondered how much i really understand about women too. half the time i feel so at sea-- neither fish nor flesh, male or female, unable to go back, but not fully understanding the rules or nuances of being a woman....

confession:i thought working in a somewhat retail environment would clarify things for me, but it's never so easy. i assume people know i'm tg, so it's really confusing when people have these.... kind of inappropriate conversations in front of me, or within earshot. they talk about other trans people (my student has started to transition, but he-- sorry, she doesn't even make an effort, so i kept calling her him... or, there was this transexual who worked at so and so's office, who was always dressed to the nines. she put the normal women to shame.... or, (playfully) everyone thinks she's a he, hell we don't even know. she's an it.") do they not know? am i really passing like that? do people forget, or are they wanting me to interject or something?
auralpoison
QUOTE(stargazer @ Jul 20 2010, 07:17 PM) *
. . . only if we can drink Young's Double Chocolate Stout with it!


Um, as of yesterday, I am officially one week sober. So ya'll will have to raise a glass for me.

No sugar, no caffeine, no refined crap, now no booze. My only vices are eating meat, talking shit, & sucking dick. *sigh*
damona
there is a confession i want to make, but i don't, somehow, want to "say" it. i'm still waffling. i do that a lot.
sybarite
I've seen exactly two films in the cinema this year. My excuse is that reviewing burned me out and also made me aware of how much shit was out there in the mainstream, but I'm still too lazy to even download the odd art or foreign language film, even though I'd probably enjoy it (I was blown away by Let the Right One in last year). I got seriously lazy about new music too, although I'm slowly rectifying that--but all via the internet. My belated confession is that I am convinced the academic life suits me because it allows me to hide away all day either working or downloading yet more TV--and then to pontificate to young people about it.

GT, I cultivate coming across as younger too, even when my colleagues last year began to get seriously bewildered by my references. My (lame) excuse is that it helps me with looking for (entry-level-ish) jobs, rather than, say, vanity... smile.gif

Damona, we are a judge-free zone, promise.
stargazer
AP & GT & Syb, I'm thinking my social isolation will help me to garner interest in music. At the same time, it wasn't until I read a review of the Pitchfork music festival that I realized why I'm not into some music right now...enter the chillwave. I'm in the mood for some balls to the walls type rock music. Something new I haven't heard already.

I also get the people talking to me like I just stepped out of the house for the first time treatment. I think it has to do that I listen, willing to learn, and ok with not knowing it all. Hence, people think I know nothing. *shrugs shoulders*
auralpoison
QUOTE(damona @ Jul 21 2010, 03:49 AM) *
there is a confession i want to make, but i don't, somehow, want to "say" it. i'm still waffling. i do that a lot.

Hey, if I can own my sobriety in a public way, you can say whatever you gotta up in here. We ain't judging nobody.

Confession: I have upwards of fifty "quality" films & documentaries in my "watch instantly" queue, but I find myself watching crap comedies & romcoms instead for some reason.

QUOTE(stargazer @ Jul 21 2010, 11:53 PM) *
AP & GT & Syb, I'm thinking my social isolation will help me to garner interest in music. At the same time, it wasn't until I read a review of the Pitchfork music festival that I realized why I'm not into some music right now...enter the chillwave. I'm in the mood for some balls to the walls type rock music. Something new I haven't heard already.


Wow. That Pitchfork really hit it, yes? There's a lot less rocking going on out there than I'd like.
deschatsrouge
Confession: I got it on with Mrs. Rouge at a fraternity house.

Confession: Mrs. Rouge and I are the first and last Lesbians to ever have sex at the Bozeman SAE house.

Confession: Mrs. Rouge and I had fireworks for the fourth. wink.gif
girltrouble
deschats: hee hee! devilishly fun!


confession:i miss my two-toned, sharpened-to-a-point fake nails. i get a case of the sads when i realize that my (future) work will keep me from getting them, as much as welding did.


confession:i miss so many busties it makes my brainsis essplode.
Girl Power
confession:i miss so many busties it makes my brainsis essplode.

Cleanup in isle 10.
Girl Power
confession:i miss so many busties it makes my brainsis essplode.

We are here to help you.
stargazer
That sounds hawt, deschats!

QUOTE(girltrouble @ Jul 22 2010, 10:17 PM) *
confession:i miss so many busties it makes my brainsis essplode.


me too. sad.gif
auralpoison
$#@&*!
Persiflager
Confession: You know when you have a friend from school/college that you're fond of but don't really have anything in common with any more, but she still makes an effort to keep in touch and you feel kind of sorry for her?

I've just realised that's me sad.gif
sageykins
(((((zoya)))))
I'm sorry, I'm incredibly late in commenting... I understand and I think I'm right there with you. So depressed. sad.gif
archegonia
confession: i want to call you (thank goodness i'm strong enough not to)

confession: i want to wake the kids up for a snuggle (i wont do that either)

a
damona
confession: i'm far too good at starting awkward conversations by just blurting out something that i've thought about but i haven't really thought through. thank goodness The Boy knew this before we got together because i can't help but wonder if he would have got sick of me by now if we hadn't been such good friends first.
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