QUOTE(auralpoison @ Aug 6 2010, 01:46 AM)
Dunno how far back you might have gone in the archives, but this seemed useful . . .
Auralpoison, you just saved my day (and many more days in my life...). Thanks, this is perfect!
Hi people, I'm a newbie, and I just joined to talk about my workplace bullying, except I couldn't put it into words exactly until Auralpoison just did so for me.
I have read some of the recent thread here, and the Workplace Bullying link and the Oprah links. Wow, these are great! I feel so much better. I have been working with two bullies, who are peers, at a university for three years. Last night one of them really set me off, I felt terrible that I was so affected by a fairly minor thing, and then had a big fight with my husband about it, which only made me feel worse. So this thread is a godsend at this moment in time.
Everything makes sense to me now. I was bullied as a child, but I thought that was so far behind me - now I see that my reactions to these bullies are understandable, and I can throw off a burden I've been carrying around almost since the beginning: the idea that I am paranoid, weak, or otherwise responsible for inviting, creating, or imagining this harassment. What a revelation.
Has anyone had success in improving their confrontation skills? Does this book "The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense" help you or any other similar resources? I find that I instinctively agree with or ignore my attackers even though internally I am laughing at how silly they are or simply disagreeing. I spend nights thinking of things I wish I had said out loud. Any tips on how to get better at saying those things up front?