Help - Search - Members - Calendar
Full Version: OCD: I Have To Do It Six Times Or Gary Coleman Will Die!
The BUST Lounge > Forums > Our Bodies, Our Hells
Pages: 1, 2
mrj
One of my biggest obsessions is that my husband will have an accident at work and I will not be notified. It is a good thing he is self-employed or he would have been fired for me calling so many times a day. I am working or this in therapy but it still lingers. My husband and my children are pretty much all I have anymore and knowing he is out working and driving all day means he could have an accident. He is good to call me often and I call him too. If he is going to be in an area where his cell phone will not work he will call before he gets there and as soon as he leaves.

Living with this is not as easy as some people think and when your family knows it makes things easier.
auralpoison
I love my thread name! I bring it back to the top because the other thread name is boring!
ericamamerica
QUOTE(amilita @ Jun 15 2006, 08:25 PM) *

Is there anyone who has had treatment for OCD?



I have. Both behavioral/talk therapy combined with taking Zoloft. I was in therapy for about a year - and it made a HUGE difference in my life. If you have any questions about any of this, I'm here to answer them. I have had OCD since age 11. I didn't seek treatment until I was 18 (I had been keeping it a secret for that long!) I was extremely nervous about starting therapy and had some reservations about taking medication, but it ended up to be some of the best decisions I have ever made. I have been OCD symptom for about two years now, and I finally feel like ME. I never even think about any of my old symptoms any longer.

Again, I'm here for you and anybody else, I know how difficult it is to live with the disorder, and how nerve-racking it can be to seek treatment! (anxiety over treating an anxiety disorder! lol)

-Erica
sixelacat
Okay, this new board is starting to foster some OCD tendencies in me! I have to have all the martinis on the forums page empty before I can move on, so if someone posts in a forum I've already read, I have to go back and check it out, mark as read, and then move on to the next unread forum. This is seriously starting to take up way too much internet time! blink.gif And I'm starting to spell-check all my posts.....*sigh*
katiebelle2882
ok i have a question. is it possible to have OCD tendencies even if you are really really laid back and dont really give a shit about too much? and you arent picky about food and you arent particularly neat (ok not neat at all). is it possible it manifests itself in other ways to other degrees? like sometimes when someone says (or i think to myself) knock on wood, ill have to do it in sets of threes? reading some of your experiences makes me seem like maybe i do have a bit of OCD. but this gets me thinking most people have a little bit? any ideas?

AP, i love the name of this thread.
sixelacat
You know, I kind of have this half-baked theory that most superstitions were started by people with OCD, and the stories about a superstition's "origin" was concocted by the person to explain why they had to do that thing in exactly that certain way (tossing salt over your shoulder, not walking under ladders, etc.) And OCDish people have kept them going for hundreds to thousands of years....so yeah, I do think most people have behavior of this sort....

and yes, I spell-checked this post. 'Cause that's really important in the grand scheme of things....
raisingirl
Don't mind me, just bumping this up for the people who had created a duplicate thread...
amilita
Thanks, erica, for sharing your experience. I'm glad treatment was able to really help you. I asked about the treatment thing because I'm mostly interested in OCD as something that has a real, negative impact on a person's life. (Because that's the kind my dad had) There is such a huge difference between "I vaccuum every day cuz I like it clean" and "I have to vaccuum 8 times a day and in the right pattern and even rooms that no one has gone in all day"...ya know?

I'm lucky that I just have what I consider tendancies...and if I don't go with some of my impulses, I don't get serious anxiety or repetative thoughts or anything. I just have quite a few things that I strongly prefer to do a certian, rather arbitrary way.

I do think that most people have what could be considered these kinds of tendancies...and katiebelle, I think OCD on all its levels can manifest in different ways. Not everyone is obsessed with cleanliness...there are also tons of hoarders who live in filth but can't throw anything away. And the numbers/counting stuff seems to be common, as well.

I like your theory, six! Sounds like a plauseable contributing factor to me. I think there's gotta be some wiring in our brains that makes OCD just an extreme version of something that is fairly normal or functional...we are all creatures of habit to some degree or another. This may have been a good quality to have back in the day, when survival was so hard.
cloverbee
mrj, I too share your pain. I have OCD and generalized anxiety disorder. i used to have panic disorder as well. I do not have compulsions, only obsessions. I obsess that I have certain diseases or that I've contracted HIV. I obsess until it makes me physically ill. I have found that medication helps but my therapist said I would have to change my core beliefs (I think he was referring to my generalized anxiety disorder) but I don't think it's a stretch to apply it to OCD. Somehow I think we all benefit in a way from obsessing. like we are trying to somehow control the outcome or at least the impact that a potential outcome will have on our psyche. I think we (I) are the ultimate pessimists and that obsessing is a coping mechanism. we just get stuck there more than other people do. anyway, take care yalls.
auralpoison
I refuse to let this die!
sassygrrl
Me neither!
auralpoison
I had an interesting convo with a foaf last night. He's a baseball fanatic. Me, I can't stand to watch it, but I admitted that I appreciated it from a statistical standpoint. I hate math worse than I hate baseball, but I still find statistics interesting. FYI: He's a fan of algebra, I like the more theoretical maths. He asked me about things I liked to do for fun, would I rather play sudoku or do a word game. I appreciate sudoku (I like that it's logic based.), but would rather play pente, backgammon, or gomoku. I even like mahjong. Chess, too. I think a lot of it has to deal with the way I look at rules & patterns. But that's just me.
sixelacat
Pente! Good God! How is it nobody around here has heard of pente, and you know how to play, AP?! I spent hours playing it as a child, before I even learned checkers. Small towns, calf fries, pente....we have the strangest list in common.... ph34r.gif
auralpoison
Who knows? It's just one more weird cowinkydink between us. I had a friend that had a boyfriend that liked to play pente, but she couldn't wrap her mind around the game. She was a pool playing coke whore. We had these dinner nights where he bought the grub & she & I alternated cooking. He busted out the pente one night & I was forever hooked.

I used to be a Tetris junkie. Love, love, love those patterns.

I do like pool, too, because it's the perfect example of quantum causality in physics. See the "Einstein, Podolsky, and Rosen Paradox".
pollystyrene
(Can't let this thread die, for the sake of the title alone!)

My new job is like a OCD'ers haven- they have toilet seat sanitizer in the bathroom! In each stall, next to the toilet, there's a little thing, like what liquid soap in public bathrooms come in, where you hold your hand under and push the button with the heel of your hand. Except you put a wad of toilet paper in your hand, hold it under, it sprays stuff on there, then you wipe the seat.

I didn't have a big issue with toilet seats before, but damned if I don't use that sanitizer every time now!! rolleyes.gif
auralpoison
I just had to bring this back.

I am losing my goddamned mind. I am trying to move. I am on one leg & cleaning out the detritus of TWO OCD hoarders. I found a stack of Vietnamese newspapers. I am not Vietnamese. Nor is my mother. Neither of us know the language. So where did they come from & why are they here? The most recent date is July 2005.

Cleaning this place out is like battling a Hydra. For every bag of crap I gather, another pops up in it's place. I really can't believe that management has yet to send up the Gestapo. I laugh because it wil take them a bare minimum of four days to get all this shit out.
wombat
Oh, lordy, ap. LORDY!!! and I'm not religious. ho, no.

My boyfriend's dad seemed to have it all together. We'd visit his apartment and it was bright and clean.

But when it came time to move him to a nursing home, we found humus in the refrigerator that had been there from last summer, when Batman's sister had visited. Who knows? Maybe she would come back and want it. Since he had no idea what it WAS, apparently, he had no idea that it would go bad after about four days.

But that's not the worst of it. What appeared to be a nice tidy apartment and proper mental functioning was just a cover for total pack rat hell.

Each and every drawer, and the closet, and a couple of extra boxes and bins stored under the bed, were just full of an absolute HODGE PODGE of papers. Very important CD bank books were mixed in with menus from 1945, or junk mail.

Oh, god.

It took the two of us, working after work a couple hours a day, about a week and a half and took up about 40 trash bags. Because we didn't want to throw out anything important, we had to look at every single piece.

HELL HELL HELL!!!

oh, god. Tetris. yes. patterns. yes. I've weaned myself from too much compulsiveness, though. I have a little Mac OS widget called Stak that's similar. But the way I got sucked in -- convinced that THIS TIME it was going to work GREAT if only I could concentrate even more better -- tells me that I sure better stay away from all forms of gambling.
sixelacat
Oh god, Aural, I'm moving too! I have to be out in a week, where did all this crap COME from?! I just found a stack of coupons that expired in 2005......I'm fighting the urge to burn the place down and start over......
auralpoison
Since the old OCD thread died, I am reviving my old one.
girltrouble
now i miss sixela.
hmph.
foryoursplendor
Whoa, I just found this thread, its a good one.

I had childhood OCD, started when I was about 5. I was a counter. Between the year of kindergarten and grade 1, I lost 10 lbs, which is sort of a lot of weight for a small child to lose. In that year I also started really weird eating habits, which was probably linked to OCD. I had an unstable childhood, grew up in a violent & drug-abusing home. I think my habits were developed over a lack of control and need for order. I grew outo f the OCD counting when I was around 13 or 14, not sure why it went away. I'm 25 now, and still have OCD tendancies. I still have fears that I know are irrational, but have been dealing with them fine. For instance, I'm irrationally afraid of flying. A healthy person would probably just feel nervous, whereas I convince myself I'm going to DIE and have unbearable emotions. Sometimes I take a half of a clonazepam before flying, but I have been able to fly without any drugs. Again, its likely caused from the lack of control I would have if anything were to go wrong.

I have a friend who suffers from OCD as an adult, which he takes medication for. He's a counter also. We had a lot of the same OCD fascinations as kids, like geometry, lol. Its nice to have someone who knows what its all about and to compare notes with.
nappysco
QUOTE(foryoursplendor @ Apr 15 2009, 05:20 AM) *
For instance, I'm irrationally afraid of flying. A healthy person would probably just feel nervous, whereas I convince myself I'm going to DIE and have unbearable emotions. Sometimes I take a half of a clonazepam before flying, but I have been able to fly without any drugs. Again, its likely caused from the lack of control I would have if anything were to go wrong.


I , too, have an irrational fear of flying for the same reasons. I've never made the connection between irrational fears and OCD, but it makes a lot of sense. I've gleaned a lot of help form the fear of flying message board over at fearoflying.com. The site is actually for a fear of flying course run by a former pilot, but there is plenty of free help over there if you want it. May be worth checking out.

I do the OCD thing with locking my front door. I'll lock it, and KNOW that it's locked but will walk back to my front door, sometimes several times, to make sure it's locked. I'm also afraid of burning down my apartment, so I unplug my lamps, TV, and every other appliance that is easily unplugged. I also make sure my laptop is on the floor because I reason that leaving my laptop on my bed will start a fire. I don't know if this is exactly OCD behavior, but I have a feeling most people don't go through all of that just to leave the house.
foryoursplendor
Thanks! I'll definitely check out that fear of flying site, it'll probably do me some good.

I also check that everything is turned off/locked more times than is neccessary. The stove and my hair straightener are my problems. I also do the laptop thing, but I guess these aren't terrible habits. It kind of just means that our places will never catch fire by our faults, right? lol.

nappysco
QUOTE(foryoursplendor @ Apr 19 2009, 05:13 PM) *
It kind of just means that our places will never catch fire by our faults, right? lol.


Exactly! smile.gif
foryoursplendor
Has anyone else seen this show yet?

www.aetv.com/obsessed
auralpoison
Yes. It made me terribly glad that my OCD is fairly mild & that my CBT keeps it largely under control.
zizola
Ooh, this is a good thread. I am continually battling with my OCD. Some of my current compulsions are rubbing the tops of my legs if I'm at a restaurant if I'm wearing pants, flicking the tabs of soda and beer cans, cleaning my ears, keeping my fingernails very short, and checking behind shower curtains whenever I use a bathroom. I am happy to say that for the most part my compulsions are completely under control, as long as I am constantly vigilant. Once I find myself growing upset when I am prevented or stopped from doing a compulsive task, I force myself to clear my head and think of something else.

My main OCD problem, though, is my obsessive tendencies. I feel as if I am always obsessing about something, usually imaginary scenarios that I concoct in my head, and usually I will obsess about one person, sometimes someone that I like, and other times someone that I am having a hard time with. While I think it's healthy to work out scenarious like that sometimes, mine tend to become extremely invasive and upsetting, until I have to confront them and force myself to stop thinking of said person/situation. It is very annoying, and it seems like once I've finally cleared one obsession from my head, another one sneaks its way into my brain and takes it place. Now that I think about it, that's the same with my compulsions as well: once I "beat" one compulsion it is soon replaced by another, different one. Anyone else have this same experience?
sassy
I definately have OCD, but I have never been formally diagnosed. I studied psychology as a minor in college and I meet enough DSM criteria that I know I would be diagnosed if I saw a professional about it. My sister and mom also have OCD tendencies. My main thing is having everything in order. Before I leave the house, everything must be in its exact place, down to the angle that something sits on my desk. I won't let my husband enter a room once I've done my OCD thing in it. And if he does run back into the bathroom before we go out somewhere, I have to go in after him and straighten whatever items he moved/touched. I check my two alarm clocks at least 30 times before I feel safe that they are set. At work, when I close, I check the locks on the front and back door several times. I walk between the two back and forth...people probably think I am insane. I obsess over relationships...usually friendships. I always think someone is mad at me and I tend to think about little snippets of conversation all day. Lately, I've also had a weird monologue in my head that I have to think about during free moments, but only at work, for some reason: Socks, shoes, underwear, scrub pants, bra, shirt, scrub top. Like I'm afraid I forgot something when I got dressed. I'm also a hypochondriac sometimes. A lot of my friends smoke pot but I had never tried it for fear of having my throat close shut (this is a common fear when I try new foods, too). I did finally try it but I was scared of dying from it for the rest of the night so it wasn't any fun.

Has anyone here tried medication or behavioral therapy? I am curious at your results.
auralpoison
In my late teens/early twenties I was medicated (Paxil) & had cognitive behavioral therapy. And I am 100% better for it. I still have the odd, shall we say, OCD quirks, but it no longer runs my life the way it once did.
thirteen
QUOTE(zizola @ Jun 3 2009, 03:17 PM) *
It is very annoying, and it seems like once I've finally cleared one obsession from my head, another one sneaks its way into my brain and takes it place. Now that I think about it, that's the same with my compulsions as well: once I "beat" one compulsion it is soon replaced by another, different one. Anyone else have this same experience?


Yup, I also have this same problem, zizola. You are not alone! Do you notice that your new compulsions are generally better or worse than the ones they replace?

OCD has been with me since I was about seven years old and once I get rid of one ritual there is always a new one to come forward and vex me to no end. This has happened countless times through the years (I am 25 now and sadly used to being troubled). Pure torture, argh!

Getting back on medication honestly seems like a pretty grand idea right now. I mean, I want to return to college without having to do rituals....and it would be lovely to socialize "normally" for a change. To other people, my OCD and eccentricities seem really "cute" and "interesting" but the truth behind this behaviour is less than adorable. More like painful and alienating.
angie_21
Oh zizola, me too! My doctor has been telling me for a few years now that I might have anxiety problems I don't realize, but after this rough year I have been through (entirely because of my own anxieties and obsessions) I am starting to realize she is right, and wonder if I should go in for CBT.

I haven't read much of this thread yet, but I wanted to drop in and introduce myself and ask, is this thread for hard core-OCD, or are there some with mild or OCD-related symptoms here too? What I have is anxiety - not social anxiety, and I've never allowed it to hold me back from doing things I want to do, it's more anxiety related to obsessive thought patterns. I have also developed mild hypochondria over the last year (mostly it involves obsessively "researching" my perceived symptoms over the internet, what a bad idea, but my doctor is not very thorough and leaves me feeling like I have to find things out for myself). I also bite and pick at my nails like a maniac, especially when I am stressed out. All my symptoms and actions are mild - checking the doors a couple times before leaving the house or going to bed, the nail-biting, etc, but recently it has started to get a little in the way of my life. For example, researching my symptoms for half a day when I am "at work" (I work from home most of the time) and getting so worked up about a little pain here or there that it really affects my performance at work, and my relationship with my boyfriend because when I am getting worked up about things, I get scared to have sex because I don't want to "hurt" myself (self-fulfilling prophecy). I've had a few of the symptoms (nail-biting and anxiety) since I was a teenager.

Anyways, thats me. I've been trying to keep a handle on it with buddhist thinking (don't have the self control for meditation, but the non-western world view is very calming for my anxieties), working out, and just recognizing my tendencies and that my anxieties are not as real as they seem. I am starting to wonder though, since I am 25 and they have been getting worse over the last year, could this just be because I am having a stressful year (which I truly am), or could this be the beginning of adult onset of full blown OCD symptoms? Or am I just wondering this because I am a hypochondriac?
auralpoison
If you're feeling more like just anxiety, there is an anxiety thread. I will bump.
stargazer
QUOTE(angie_21 @ Jun 15 2009, 08:07 AM) *
Anyways, thats me. I've been trying to keep a handle on it with buddhist thinking (don't have the self control for meditation, but the non-western world view is very calming for my anxieties), working out, and just recognizing my tendencies and that my anxieties are not as real as they seem. I am starting to wonder though, since I am 25 and they have been getting worse over the last year, could this just be because I am having a stressful year (which I truly am), or could this be the beginning of adult onset of full blown OCD symptoms? Or am I just wondering this because I am a hypochondriac?


Uh, it sounds like you have OCD to me. Good for you for trying positive coping means to deal with your anxiety. Are you seeing a psychiatrist? There are alot of alternatives of CBT you can have for therapy. There are some deriatives of CBT which use mindfulness-based techniques as part of therapy. Basically, the relationship you have with your thoughts as they arise, realizing you are not your thoughts, you have choices, you can act differently, and use action (such as deep breathing) to cope differently. Make sure you ask your therapist about the use of mindfulness based techniques in order to combine therapy with the skills you are already using.

I had trichotillomania when I was a child which went away with talk therapy for me. Anxiety is extremely prevalent in my mother's side of the family. Lots of drug use occured to manage symptoms with extended family members. I think I had some mild OCD symptoms when I was a teenager/young adult. But, stress and family history led to my panic disorder w/agoraphobia about a couple of years ago. Medication was extremely helpful for me with the severely of my symptoms. My thoughts were clearer and I was able to focus more. I am no longer on medication. I use yoga and meditation (as well as other life changes) to help me.

Let's us know how things go for you angie.
angie_21
Thanks for bumping the anxiety thread AP. I will give it a look.

There's a lot of reasons I'm unsure, especially about the extend of my hypochondria. Mostly because my doctor never gave me any thorough tests when I was having my "health" problems last year, not enough to know if I didn't have actual real symptoms that got better on their own. A lot of them are commonly attributed to being on birth control, and have been steadily getting better since I quit taking it. And being stuck with an undiagnosed condition for over a year is enough to give anyone anxiety!

Thanks for the advice stargazer. I want to do everything as holistically and naturally as possible. On the other hand, I don't want to let any problems get worse until I really do need medication. I just don't know how to tell when or if I'm at that point. My brother was on medication for most of his teenage life and it really messed him up. He had a really bad psychiatrist and it's left me feeling distrusful of them. Do you think a therapist would be able to give me an honest diagnosis of my mental health? I mean, it's in their better interest to tell me there's something wrong with me so they keep a customer!
stargazer
QUOTE(angie_21 @ Jun 18 2009, 07:21 PM) *
Do you think a therapist would be able to give me an honest diagnosis of my mental health?


Yes. Plus, a therapist would be also be able to intervene if medication is needed. I would be open about your desire to not use medication for your anxiety and wanting to focus on therapy for right now. Also, with your health problems, I'm a big fan of second opinions and if you feel you are not being treated appropriately (either medically or by a mental health professional) then you can go to another doctor/therapist. I'm really big on patient advocacy. You know your body.
mumblestutter
gah! i've been sitting around obsessively flaking off dandruff for about half an hour. totally gross & shameful. i was much, much better about this over the summer. but over the last few days, i've relapsed hardcore. i suspect it's due to being ill recently - i've been forced to be really sedentary & i feel really gross. for some reason, when i feel bad i'll pick at myself. there's something briefly satisfying about it. then i feel like shit when i realize i just injured my body & lost 40 minutes of my life doing it.

i used to do the same thing with my cuticles. but then i damaged one so horribly i don't want to touch them at all now.

i'm just gonna be totally insensitive and say i wish i obsessively cleaned, or worked, or studied. i feel like that would be more socially acceptable... and maybe even productive. i feel like my things are so gross & embarrassing.
auralpoison
I'm a picker, too, Mumblestutter. And the evidence of it is pretty visible, I had a really bad summer a few years ago & now I have slightly cheetah-esque arms.
mumblestutter
thanks ap. good to know there are others out there. writing about it was also hugely relieving.
auralpoison
Oh, there was an episode of Obsessed that made me feel so much better about things. The woman on it was a picker, but she picked at her face: "Vanessa believes her problems stem from the way her mother treated her growing up. Vanessa never felt worthy because her mother placed her in foster care and she spent her childhood moving from home to home. Vanessa's anxiety causes her to pick the skin on her face in an attempt to repair and improve how she looks. This gives her a sense of accomplishment especially when her anxiety escalates or she feels depressed. She has begun incorporating tools like clippers, needles, and pins into her compulsion. In her most serious episode, Vanessa picked a hole along her jaw line that went all the way to the bone. For nearly two years, she was so debilitated by anxiety that she was unable to leave her home."
sevenseconds
Why hello there.
Didn't know this was a thread.
I have OCD but have through the years developed strategies to keep it high-functioning. Like I'll trick myself into what I fixate on. I try to pick my obsessions so they sort of feed into the subject I'm working on, or leave me with knowledge I can use later... The hypochondria comes and goes tho.
The compulsions are under control when I have a deadline, or a mission. it's bad when I am at my leisure to finish what I want, which has been my situation lately. And the Lounge is so. much. fun. but... oboy.
And yeah, I'm a picker.
sevenseconds
I used the generic obsessions and compulsions because that's kind of my coping strategy to not go too deeply into one thing... I have ("cultivated"?) addictophobia, I don't know if it's a real thing, but to me it means, the moment I feel I'm having REAL FUN I start obsessing that I am getting addicted/ dependent on it - so the rationalization behind this one is, it's to help me to constantly rotate my traits. (And no, can't give an example, I'm too superstitious to say what i do or it will stop working;)
Also, I can never choose which adjective describes something. If I leave this unchecked, every noun would have a list of 4 or 5 adjectives with slashes between them. (This trait is made worse by living in a language I am not totally aware of every nuance in).
Having to make a decision is the worst thing that can possibly befall me.
I have so many divination practices and ways to "do a reading" that I often have to do a little divination to decide which divination method to use to make the actual decision. This is true, not messing with you. It goes exponential very fast. I tend to shortcircuit it by addrenaline-bumping and doing the first thing that comes to mind, totally without thinking. (Otherwise, there are not enough hours in the day to decide to do one thing. I am forced to)
I'll post more when I think of it.
I never even thought of summing up these traits before.
Great, now it's official. Well done, AP;)
xena
Looks like someone didn't count properly.
zoya
QUOTE(xena @ May 28 2010, 11:02 AM) *
Looks like someone didn't count properly.



that's hilarious. ha!
pepper
Darn it, which one of you was it?!
auralpoison
I would like to say that I feel guilty about this, but I do not. What I *do* feel guilty about is that he was dark horse on my Dead Pool list.
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.
Invision Power Board © 2001-2014 Invision Power Services, Inc.