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mrjelq
Hi I've recently embarked upon doing penis enlargement excercises mainly for my self confidence. This size issue is soething i am thus intrested in, so i have to ask the perenial question to all who care to answer this: does size matter?
lilos
YES! I was with a man who wasn't that well endowed and it did bother me even though I tried to tell myself it didn't. We had a great sex life, but I was always longing for something 'more'.
pepper
uh, no. we do not feed these tr*lls people. we just. do. not.
mrjelq
troll?
why is this not a legitimate question to ask? The fact that someone has already answered this demonstrates that this is a legitimate question to her. This forum is called 'lets talk about sex', that seems to be pretty open ended about anything about sex. this question seems to meet that criteria, thus it seems this question is entirely legitimate.
mrjelq
lios,
when you say this man was not well endowed, do you mean he was of average size, or do u mean he was smaller than average. The desire for you needing something more may be down to this thing i've just heard about called the cul-de-sac or posterior fornix which is behind the cervix. apparently stimulation of such a place gives deep vaginal orgasms, but sadly the average and the small guys cant generally reach there :-(
mornington
mrjelg - have you bothered to read the second paragraph on our front page? Let me explain it to you. We're a feminist forum, and we self-moderate, which means we like new people to introduce themselves in the New People thread before they start posting, and if members don't know where to ask a question, they head over to the Community thread and ask.

We do not start new threads without approval from other members.

Starting new threads is generally seen as the first sign of a troll - someone who has come onto our boards for attention, rather than a genuine wish to become part of our community. If you're genuinely interested in joining us, I suggest you try and stick to our rules. But I don't think you'll find many people here who want to discuss your insecurities, as there are already enough trolls.
zora
I don't know if this is going to get me chased out of the lounge, or what, but....
Aren't we being a little harsh here? I really doubt this guy is a troll. Are we becoming so troll-wary that every new poster who doesn't read the rules and starts new threads becomes a troll? I started new threads when I first started posting here, but I am not a troll, and I do feel like a memeber of this communiuty. Dude hasn't exhibited trollish behavior one bit. Sure, he started a thread. Many people do when they first come here. It happens. I think we should give people a chance before calling people out as trolls or chasing them out with pitchforks.
maddy29
Zora- I think that when a male comes to the boards, clearly doesn't bother to read the first paragraph, and goes immediately to the sex thread, and then posts about his penis-that raises red flags for most people.
numbnuts
I'd say most guys think a lot about their genitalia, but it's usually not appropriate for them to ask questions like this in everyday conversation (not to mention the embarassment factor). I think that's why he came to the Let's Talk About Sex forum first and asked his question, not because he's trying to start trouble or be a pain in the ass.

Incidentally, I think the size of the woman's private parts has something to do with how important penis size is to her.
msmommy
the man is not a troll. he only came here to ask this question, because i suggested he do so. what better place to get an honest answer to this particular question?? i've been lurking here for ages, and only recently got myself a username... i sent him a link, and i completely skimmed over the "rules" myself. sorry about that.

anyhow, i've been arguing that *most* women aren't nearly as concerned about a man's penis size, as the men are concerned about it themselves... that there are other things that are MUCH more important, that a big penis doesn't automatically make a great lover, that for many women too big = OW! etc...

i've been hanging out with mrjelq on some penis enlargement forum, full of mostly average to above average sized men, who all seem to think that women wont give them the time of day unless they've got a very obvious bulge in their pants that hints at their 8+ inch size.

bullshit, i say. a man would have to be REEEAAALLY small, way below average, for it to make THAT much of a difference.
tatiana
you know, I'm finding this board incredibly belligerent toward new posters. Because of search engines I doubt that most new posters come here through the front page (I certainly didn't) and this information on BUST board etiquette is not as prominent and easy to find as you all seem to think.

That said, penis size isn't something that most women I know in RL are particularly concerned about. Everyone is different and two people fit together differently than two other people. Sometimes it works for both and sometimes it doesn't.
herculesgirl
I was with a man who was very small, maybe 2 1/2 to 3 inches when fully erect, and yeah, it was somewhat disappointing, but we did other things and he was very good at them so it was satisfying. However, I've also been with a man who was very endowed and that was it: his entire attitude was like "I've got a big dick and that's all I need!!!" He didn't know what to do with it, and he didn't really care. Personally, I'd take the smaller man who at least TRIED to make it good for both of us over the jerk who thought that a big dick was all that mattered.

(Edited to say that the smaller man was much younger and hadn't been with many women. Therefore, the bigger man, being older and experienced, was that much more of a jerk for not giving a shit about his own performance. To me, that's what matters.)
mornington
then I apologise for mrjelg for calling him a troll, but I still think that it would have been polite, if nothing else, to try and post by the guidelines. As maddy said so well, coming to the boards and starting a thread about his penis raises red flags.
bklynhermit
size. totally doesn't matter.

but i find that a man with a more manageable penis is easier for me to satisfy and better at satisfying me. also less cocky. pun totally intended.

the worst is a man with a larger cock who wants to be deep throated. not. going. to. happen.
venetia
Mrjelg what kind of penis enlargement are you undergoing? I thought that vacuum pumping and so forth only really affects the flaccid penis. Any lover of men will testify that flaccid penis size is not a reliable indication of erect penis size. In fact I always thought that the penis enlargement people are doing it for showing other men, not for anyone's sexual pleasure?


Size matters for me. It has to be the right size, i.e not too big or too small. I can only have vaginal orgasms, so a very small penis won't reach the sweet spots at the back. Too big and it tears me, which is just squicky and a dealbreaker in a relationship.

However, when you look at the distribution of normal penis size in the average male, (eg the durex study) it's only a very small percentage of them out there which are really big or small.

Anyway, this is just me personally. As Tatiana said, "everyone is different and two people fit together differently than two other people." I'm never going to sleep with Mrjelg so he shouldn't need to care about what I think.
sixelacat
Okay, sometimes size matters....
numbnuts
Who put that damn picture of me on the internet?!
mrjelq
my apologies for not abiding by the rules in this instance, and i do recongise that it could indeed be construed that one is having a throw away approach towards a forum rather than wanting to be involved in internet community by just blasting out one question as an initial post. As it happens, I will no doubt contribute towards this forum offering pontifications here and there as i do have an intrest in feminist issues, i have been doing islam and gender studies at university. On top of that i have been dealing with the aftermath of domestic violence for many years of my life so many of the issues that feminism raises and the questions it asks of us all are something i grapple with and something that is close to my heart. Appologies once again
mrjelq
venetia -
i am currently doing stretches, jelqing, and kegels which i have been doing for the last month. Im a bit squeamish so pumping, clamping, and hanging kinda scare the shit out of me, it took me about 3 months of contemplating even just the manual excercises before i got the guts to do even them. There is one allegedly scientific study which seems to support the idea that jelqs can increase penis size in both length and girth. However that said, it came across as somewhat 'quackish' to me when i saw the name of the journal and looked into the career of the doctor who carried it out. There is though a lot of anecdotal evidence that seems to support the idea that these excercises do work, something i have to admit doesnt really satisfy the criteria of scientific evidence. So for me, it was really a case of "i'll give it a go" and try for myself. Luckily for me i can say i can add yet another persons testimony to the anecdotal evidence to say it has worked, i've gained 3 quaters of an inch in length in just 1 month which is really really quick (too good to be true i keep thinking maybe my thing will fall off). I do worry that perhaps this may be the pulling out of my inner penis rather than the growth of the penis cause surely that couldnt be right. I think if that were the case it would be the stretches that would be causeing that cause stretching is literally pulling on ur thing for 30 sec periods. So, im kinda contemplating stopping that at the moment.

In my experience technique seems to be more important than size, but the lingering question in my mind is that if all things being equal would size matter. I.E say there was this amazing considerate lover with a four inch penis, would he be any better or worse if he had an eight inch one?

I think pumping is more for flacid, and to be honest im quite confident in my abilities as a lover with the penis ive got, im not saying im good or anything, its more a case of the fact i know im crap so ive got to listen to the person im with very attentivly so that i can learn to do better. So for me the issue is more a flacid issue, i know this sounds pathetic but id feel more comfortable using a urinal with a decent sized flacid than the one ive got haha
tatiana
"In my experience technique seems to be more important than size, but the lingering question in my mind is that if all things being equal would size matter. I.E say there was this amazing considerate lover with a four inch penis, would he be any better or worse if he had an eight inch one? "

You're forgetting that women's vaginas are all different shapes and sizes so for some women one would feel better than the other, but one or the other wouldn't be best for all women. You seem to be thinking that women are all one shape and size inside so that it all depends on YOU and that's not the case. :-)
numbnuts
That's pretty much the same thing I said earlier. "Incidentally, I think the size of the woman's private parts has something to do with how important penis size is to her."
bklynhermit
for what it's worth, i don't think a truly amazing and considerate lover's penis would matter at all.

for instance, i have been with many amazing and considerate lovers who were women.
numbnuts
Why does your name include "hermit" if you have so many lovers? I'm not calling you a liar, I'm just curious.
katiebelle2882
numbnuts, sometimes you live up to your fucking name
venetia
Mrjelq, that's interesting. Those kegels will stand you in good stead in later life! Glad to hear that you aren't pumping, given that it works by damaging the tissue of the penis and creating scar tissue.

As everyone keeps saying though, different women have different preferences. All other things being equal, one woman would prefer your four inch man, and another woman would choose your eight inch man. For example, some women prefer a smaller penis that cannot bump their cervix (which hurts them), whereas a few other women love having their cervixes bumped.

MrJelkq, I think it would be really sad if you made your penis huge, then when you met your soul-mate she turned out to have a really small, narrow vagina and couldn't have sex with you!!

Katie it would live up to its name all the time, if its name was something more like "tr*ll".
pepper
size matters to me, and no it's not because i have a *big* pussy, it's quite small actually. i just like the feeling of being impaled, stretched, sore achey and abused afterwards. but that's particular to me, i like pain during sex.
however, too long and it really hurts my cervix in a not enjoyable way. and too thick and it tears me. so a happy meium large is perfect.
my last boy wans't huge but had Excellent pc control and sex was Always stellar with him so, as long as it isn't teensy and the man knows what he's doing, even a girl who loves large cock (like me) can be more than satisfied.
numbnuts
Venetia, how do you figure I'm a troll? I mess with people sometimes, especially those who mess with me, but almost all of my posts are totally legitimate.

Also, Katiebelle2882, what's wrong with me asking someone why they would pick a user name including the word "hermit" if they have such a full social calender? In case you're new to the English language, a hermit is a recluse who lives a solitary existance, which makes that a legitimate question.
numbnuts
MrJelq, you MUST check out this article: http://www.answers.com/jelq! It pretty much states that everything you're doing can be dangerous! Seriously, it's better to have a small or average-sized penis that works than a damaged large one. I recommend that you just stop and be happy the way nature made you, or at the very least, be *EXTREMELY* careful.
mel
I recently made a casual comment elsewhere on the board about someone who rejected me having a small one. In retrospect, it was just sour grapes. The truth is, if he had really liked me, it would not have deterred me from going out with him.

I think the only problem I've encountered with smaller penises is when sex gets somewhat acrobatic or if I'm on top...it's a lot more likely to pop out, sometimes at the worst possible moment. So I think it would take some practice with that partner to figure out what works. I do think it affects a man's self image too, but I would just say "welcome to my world."

As an aside, many years ago when a friend and I were traveling we met a really sweet 18 yr. old girl from a small village in England. My friend and I were 26, so fancied ourselves very wordly. We were all drunk one night and joking about the importanace of dick size. Our young friend replied completely innocently "I don't get it it....Dick's Eyes?"
seraphine
Lol, mel, your young lady friend just made my day. Haha!
venetia
Hehehehe.

That reminds me though, these days I do try hard not to say things like "I bet he has a small penis" when someone nearly runs me over with his sports car or whatever. It's so much a part of our culture to act like it's a bad thing and use it as an insult, and it's not really something I agree with. I have a friend who thinks "the smaller the better", and if no-one had a small penis my friend would never have any fun!
taligator
I've loved all the ones I've known but hold aw arm fuzzy for my first which was wide but not long. Like pepper, I enjoy the stretched wide feeling (not so much the pain).

As well, it's in the way that you use it .. (insert music here). If you aren't confident with what you've got it doesn't matter what size you are.
xexyz
>>That reminds me though, these days I do try hard not to say things like "I bet he has a small penis" when someone nearly runs me over with his sports car or whatever.<<

http://www.leenks.com/gallery381-30.htm
numbnuts
I feel sorry for the poor guy who drives the little yellow car: small penis and no money. Ouch.
maimy
Good point about the small-penis-comment as insult, truly. If you can't insult the intellect, taste, personality, or whatever it is that REALLY offends, bringing the penis into it is about as bad as guys using "pussy" or "faggot" as if that were inherently negative.

Actually, for some time there, one of the best penises I ever encountered (attached, fortunately, to a fellow with diligent fingers, tongue, and enthusiasm/lust) was the smallest one I've ever known. I'd say it was 4-5 inches, but to this day I really have no idea just how "small" that really is honestly. It got plenty hard, it worked plenty hard, its owner once gave me a simultaneous anal, vaginal, and clitoral orgasm - so I won't insult it on its own merits.

But the guy it was attached to also turned out to be a nitwit, so I'll happily slag on his mental apparatus and leave penis jokes out of it. To recall his penis at all would be a memorial he no longer deserves ...

(Yes, fully aware of the inherent contradicktions here!)



Tangentially - a guy's vehicle means even less to me than his "size". Never did give a shit what someone drives, which is funny, 'cause I come from a family of mechanical sports car lovers. Must be because I associate cool cars with fathers, uncles, and male relatives. Hard to get all turned-on about that. (Fondly remembering the beautiful, sleek 1960 MGA dad rebuilt from the rust up.)
venetia
Xexyz tell me that can't be for real!!

I never see what people drive anyway, much less care. I'm sure I've seen the penis of all my lovers before I've seen their cars.
humanist77
xexyz, that's a funny photo, but I think it looks photoshopped. I mean, would a Penis Enlargement clinic really put a big sign out front declaring so?

I don't think that car type actually *dick*tates the size of the man, but rather the philosophy is a way of belittling fuckers who drive aggressively in "macho" cars. I also agree that small penis comments can be just as degrading as judging a woman by the size of her breasts, or some physical or mental trait that is not their's by choice. But when that asshole in their EscaHummer blows in front of me with no signal or brake, there's not much I can do to make myself feel better besides declaring that he's only compensating.

That all said I also don't really think that size matters as much as knowing how to use it. It certainly makes a difference though. I've been with a smallish guy who knew how to use it, and I'm now with a very well endowed guy who also knows how to use it, and though the former was not so bad, I'd far prefer the latter if it is based solely on how he feels pertaining to his size, regardless of both of their other traits or habits in bed. I think it's just a sad double whammy for the small, sexually clueless guy (who I've also had the misfortune to encounter). But I couldn't ridicule that guy to my girlfriends (of course not to him either) I only just felt sorry for him. Everyone learns with experience.
boblink
Right on target Maimy. It needed to be said and you said it better than I've ever seen.
boblink
Right on target Maimy. It needed to be said and you said it better than I've ever seen.
numbnuts
Humanist77, I'm pretty sure you're right about the picture eing doctored, but I don't think that picture was meant to be taken seriously. I also think cars like that are driven by those who can afford them. Aside from a few eccentric rich guys who still drive crappy cars, basically any man would have a car like that if he could afford it, regardless of his penis size. The "He has an awesome car, so he must be compensating for his small penis" idea comes from those who are jealous because they can't afford those cars themselves.

EDIT

I think we can all agree that the whole idea of compensating as such is really juvenile. I can't imagine any mature adults viewing a guy that way because of his car. Kids or teenagers might, but not mature adults.
bustygirl
Oh, I don't know. I usually think it when I see a Hummer.

I don't think people think men are literally compensating for penis size, but a certain self-conscious stereotypically male attitude does seem to go along with said cars. An asshole attitude, if you will. And this type of clinging to stereotypes usually happens when rampant insecurity is just under the surface.

I mean, a yellow Humvee? Who looks at that and doesn't think short bus?

As for the topic at hand, penis size only truly matters if the guy has no tongue. ;)
humanist77
I don't really think of sports cars as compensation-despite the amount of gas they guzzle and how dangerous they can be, I think they are kinda cool and probably are only driven by the ones who can afford them. It's really only the tank SUV's I'm speaking of. And I don't take any of this seriously anyway. Although they can certainly be covering up some sort of hidden insecurity by driving one, penis size or otherwise~well said, Busty!
maimy
Busty, I adore you.

I usually think "Rich asshole" as readily as "overcompensating" (and when I do think "overcompensating", I include the possibility that the given driver is too stupid, too credit-strapped, too insecure in *general*, too attached to cliche's, or too blind to pretty much get the joke he - or, frankly, she - has become to everyone else on the road).

Boblink, thank you. But it's true. That guy's brain really was pretty tiny. He's the only person I can think of in the world for whom I ever felt love, that it was actually extinguished. And the replacement was genuine neutrality. To feel anything more energetic would be a waste and an homage. Undeserving.

I will agree with Humanist, though, that experiencing a competent fuck with a small dick as opposed to a competent fuck with a bit more going for him is not the same thing. It's difficult for me to judge, though, because (a) that was a hell of a long time ago now, and (b) my emotional regard for the guys I've been with has made them ALL pretty great, even if only "at the time".
smurfin
I don't have much experience at all, but I *can* tell you that (at least for my first time) I would have much preferred a smaller guy. Smurf is... probably quite a bit above average, and it certainly has taken time (a lot of it!) to make that work to our advantage. Time that possibly could have been spent more pleasantly otherwise. I'm not saying big is bad, I'm just saying it's not ideal either.
hummingbird
Size matters, nothing too small and nothing too big.
anarch
Smurfin, me too. My first bf was definitely above average, and my first time hurt so much I asked him for a belt that I could bite on to help me deal with the pain. Even though he was a decent lover, it took several months before it got good for me (pot helped a LOT).
bustygirl
If size matters, I would say that it's more important it be the right size, and not just big. Big can be too big, which is never, ever good. Also, girth is more important than length, because clitoral stimulation = good sex.

Plus, some big guys feel like they don't have to do anything but pummel you artlessly until you fake an orgasm to avoid a urinary tract infection.

I refused to have sex with one of my bf's because of his size, and he dumped me for it. But hey, not into vivisection, thanks.
pepper
"Plus, some big guys feel like they don't have to do anything but pummel you artlessly until you fake an orgasm to avoid a urinary tract infection."

my girlfriends and i refer to them as members of the bcc (big cock club). i've dated a few of them, one for almost ten years actually and i never looked forward to having sex with him. aside from the cervix bashing (ouch) his idea of foreplay was unzipping his pants. like the sight of his giant thang was supposed to reduce me to a puddle of lusty goo. no joke.
maimy
Just. so. in love with you, Busty.

A girlfriend of mine broke up with a guy because she and he both loved sex so much, but she couldn't have it with him he was so large (it was a girth issue, as I understood). He saw me out one night several weeks later and tried movin' in with, "I have always found you *fascinating* ..." I could not contain the laughter, and told him I wasn't up for the challenge (never mind the skeeve). I really do try not to laugh in a guy's face as a rule, but that delivery was impossible to overcome. Ew. And also, EEK.
venetia
What was he thinking?!

We're all so different! I hate girth which stimulates my clit (or worse, is somehow getting my poor lil urethra, ouch ouch ouch) and I insist on having sex in the from-behind, standing up position if that's happening, just to make it stop.

I agree, the "right" size is what's important, but the perfect size and shape are different for all of us.
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