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falljackets
hi all.

i decided to resurrect this thread, as it was apparently lost in the transition to the new board. i hope it at least stays active enough for the BUSTies that may need it to find it.

for those unfamiliar, this thread is for everyBUSTie dealing with any fertility-related issue and for those that have dealt with such issues in the past. whether you've just begun trying to conceive, have been ttc for some time, are dealing with miscarriage or have had to hear the unfortunate news that you or your partner is infertile, this is a place to come to share your thoughts and feelings, as well as to offer advice. come and cry. come and laugh. come share your successes and losses.

there are so many other pregnancy/preconception forums out there filled with uh, unenlightened women and i for one, would like some ubercool BUSTie support - without clogging up the other daily threads i post in or depressing the BUSTiemomma's to be in the pregnancy threads.

so, there. it's back.
yuefie
This is a subject very near and dear to my heart. I've suffered a few miscarriages, and have polycystic ovarian syndrome, making it hard for me to conceive at all. I am approaching my 33rd birthday, am single and feeling a bit in a panic because I want, more than anything, to me a mama. I would be fine with adopting, because I certainly would not need to birth a child myself to love it as my own. But am not in the comfortable financial position one needs to be for that, and quite frankly, would be thrilled if I could conveive and carry to full term a healthy pregnancy. I struggle with the feelings of not being a "real woman" because of my fertiity issues, but rarely ever admit that out loud. I know it doesn't make me any less, but sometimes rational, logical thinking eludes me. I try not to talk about the miscarriages, because I get SO sad and well, it really beings others down. I think people don't know how to react to it. I am really glad you started this thread again.

And I am sending lots of ~~~fertility vibes~~~~ your way, ((((FJ))))

falljackets
look at that. starting a new thread and then replying to it. rolleyes.gif

i thought i'd start with my story. forgive me, as it's ALL over the place:

i've been trying to get pregnant for about 14 months now. i got pregnant the first time in may of last year (which was actually the first month we even tried), only to miscarry at around 7 weeks. it was a blighted ovum, meaning the egg and sperm came together but something happened and the chromsomes weren't right so there wasn't an actual *baby* (which honestly made it a LOT easier for me to deal with) made.

i loved being pregnant and i've been chasing it ever since.

after two or three unsuccessful months, i started charting my temperatures and cervical fluid and really trying to take care of myself and my body. i stopped drinking and smoking pot and was taking all my vitamins every day. and each month, i'd get my hopes up, only to be dashed by a negative test and the eventual period that would follow. after a few months of that, my charts began to reveal that there was something wrong with my body.

for eight months, i charted my temperatures, only to detect ovulation maybe twice. my cycles were all over the place, with mid-cycle spotting, short cycles, long periods, short periods, long cycles, you name it. apparently, the pregnancy/miscarriage had affected my hormones and my body was now suppressing ovulation.

i took my charts to the doc and he prescribed clomid. awesome. this is just what i needed! now i'll ovulate and hell, i'll probably get pregnant with twins in the first month. sweet!

so, i took it in april and really thought i was pregnant that month. for those of you familiar with temp charting, mine even went triphasic, which is supposed to be a near sure sign of pregnancy. but i got my period. so i took it again in may. then when i got my period in early june, we decided to take a break for some testing. i sent mrfj in first because his was supposed to be less intrusive. we thought maybe he had a low count or something. but his tests came back VERY well. in fact, his count was more than 10 times the normal range and the motility/morphology was awesome too. so that was really good news and it gave me a new sense of optimism.

so i took it again this month, thinking surely this would be our month. and this morning, i awoke to an elevated temperature and decided to take a pregnancy test. of course, it was a negative. i know it was too early (only CD26) really to take it, but i became obsessive. my boobs are sore and i've felt nauseous on and off for a few days, had headaches and pinching in my left side. see, i told you i'm obsessive!

even after seeing the negative test, i thought, "well, it's still to early! i could still be pregnant! blah blah blah." the same bs i've been putting myself through all these months. and this afternoon, i'm spotting. so i'm thinking it's a no-go this time (all the while, there's the voice in the back of my mind whispering, "it could be implantion bleeding!").

so, i have one more round of clomid on the script and then it's off to the doc i go for more testing. they don't want to do anything until we've given clomid the chance to work it's magic. which it has, my charts have never looked so good! i'm certainly ovulating and i'm even having the mythical *28* day cycles lately. so i've got THAT going for me... yay

ahhhh! i KNOW that i will get pregnant. it happened once (sort of) and i'm sure it will happen again. i really do try to be optimistic. and every time i get a negative test or get my period, i treat myself to a few drinks, or even the occasional green bud. i try to give myself some sort of treat that i wouldn't be able to enjoy if i were pregnant (a good hair coloring, sushi, etc). in fact, we've got good friends coming in this weekend that are basically our best drinking buddies, so my period coming won't be the end of the world. but i sure wouldn't mind not being able to partake...

i seem to go in cycles. one month i'm really depressed at the sight of my period and other months i'm able to sort of shrug it off. i'm just tired of behaving as though i "could" be pregnant and "maybe" it's this month only to find out that, NO, it's not this month. it's not as though i'm not enjoying my life. for the first six months or so, i'm afraid i was allowing this to rule my happiness, but i'm not doing that anymore. i just have some really down days. like today.

i have said it to friends before: ignorance was bliss. i wish i could go back to that very first month of TTC and forget all this charting crap that i've learned, but i can't. i know that it helped me diagnose my ovulation issue and i just feel like it at least gives me SOME sort of insight on what's going on with my body.

and if one more person tells me to "just relax" i swear i'll gut them.

again, sorry for the rambling. it's been over a year sicne i started this adventure and i've got a lot of things rolling in my head.
raisingirl
Well, this might be a new thread that I might spend some time in.

FJ, please don't apologize about rambling.

Yuefie, you and I seem to have some stuff in common besides our love of chocolate cake: same age, single, fertility problems, open to adoption but not financially stable (yet).

Um, I wrote a whole bunch more here, but then I decided to delete it (well, I saved it, to be possibly posted at a later date). I don't know what to say or how to articulate it.
yuefie
Ugh, I despise idiots who say flippant things such as "just relax" when it comes to something as sensitive as fertility. Gut those fools, FJ! And there is no being self absorbed here. Post away and post whatever you are feeling, whatever is on your mind or weighing heavy on your heart. That is what this thread is for, sweetie.

Raisin, I came in here several times and wrote posts out that I erased. We'll see if this one makes it.

My biological clock is ticking so loudly, it seems like all I can hear right now. I am afraid it's never going to happen for me, which in turn depresses me greatly. I've been watching what I eat most of the time (damn you chocolate cake!) working out, trying to lower my weight because well, PCOS comes with lots of unpleasant effects besides infertility, the most obvious being extra fat. I've lost a notable amount of weight and gained some muscle since my last miscarriage (number three) back in November but still have quite a ways to go. Even with the dietary changes, weightloss and exercise, somehow my hormone problems seem to be getting even worse. I've been without medical insurance for the past year, but should be covered again come November. I come from a family of fertile myrtles. My grandmother had five kids, my mom had two biological kids (myself and my brother PJ) but had three miscarriages (one was a stillborn), my aunt Gail has seven kids (plus an abortion and a miscarriage), my aunt Bobbi has four (plus various abortions and a miscarriage) and my aunt Debbie had two (plus an abortion that I knew of and a miscarriage). I keep telling myself they've all had miscarriages and still been able to bring a pregnancy to term. My aunt Debbie was even 36 when she first got pregnant. But it does nothing to quell my fears. Infertility sucks much ass.

margot
Hi Ladies.

FJ, I'm glad you started this thread up again.

My story is; one 2 yr old, followed by a miscarriage a year later, at 14 weeks, followed immediately by another miscarriage.
Since then, I've had investigative surgery to check my bits! -All ok.
Then I was treated for an abnormal smear (LEEP).
All this put the kibosh on any TTCing. Oh yeah, and my period starts with 10 days of spotting. So I have about 10 days a month when I don't bleed.
I've just been given the all clear by another gynaecologist, so this is our first TTC month.

I realise how lucky I am to have my child. However, this means that people assume I have no problem with fertility, and are constantly asking when the next one's coming. I've even been told it's weird to just have one! AARGH!
When I'm feeling strong, I tell them I don't know, as I miscarried, and don't know if it will happen for me again.
When I'm not feeling strong, I start crying.
The past year has been absolutely heartbreaking at times.

I wish you all lots of luck and will peek in here and be supportive!

I will say though, amongst my mum friends, many, many of us have had problems with PCOS and miscarriages, and one friend with 2 kids who was told she'll never conceive as she only has periods 2/3 times a year.

Margot x
yuefie
I find it so incredibly rude for anyone to presume someone elses fertility to be their freaking business. I mean, I don't go up and ask them if they are "regular" or if they get laid often, or what their sexual history is. My fertility is my private business, but others seem to think it's an open subject. I hate when people say to me "Oh, you are getting up there, have you given any thought to settling down and having a family?"

Oh eff no. Of course I haven't. I mean why in the world would I want to do that? Hell, it's not like just last year I thought I was settled down and having a child or anything.

And I completely resent the notion that without getting married or giving birth that I somehow do not have a "family".

/rant

Sorry ladies, I just sometimes don't let that stuff out and it eats away at my soul.

margot
Oh bollocks!

Well, I just started spotting, so I guess this month is a no-no.
As I got pregnant first time the 3 previous pregnancies, I ASSUMED it would be the same this month.
FJ, I had the sore boobs and nausea, and convinced myself, too.

What really freaked me out, was how great I felt, believing I was pregnant again. For a few days, I was back to feeling how I did before all this shit started.
Now I'm back to my gloomy, pessimistic self.
Marvellous.

Ah well. Grrr!
falljackets
awww, margot, i'm sorry. i'm dealing with the same thing today. started spotting a bit a couple days ago, a bit yesterday and a bit mroe today. my boobs are no longer sore, really. but i still haven't had a temp drop. i feel like my body is playing tricks on me.

still, i just don't think this is the month. i always get down for the first few days of spotting, when the realization comes that no, i'm not pregnant. and then i get past it and move on. since i'm on clomid, i always get a little optimistic when i take the pills, but lose it by the end of the cycle.

right now, i'm just happy that i've got friends in town that will help me drink my troubles away for the weekend. tongue.gif


yuefie, i agree. it's no one's fucking business about my fertility. my biggest problem is that most of the people i work with know that i was pregnant before and assume that we're still trying. i get that question a lot, "so did you guys stop trying?" assuming that must be the reason i'm not pregnant yet. but when i run into people that don't know, they always ask me when we're having babies. like margot, sometimes i hold it together and just say, "in time, i guess" or something along those lines. but i've snapped a few times and barked, "i'm trying as hard as i fucking can, ok!?".

but i guess i might be guilty of it too...i was at a sort of new friend's house about a month ago and was looking through a photo album that has pics of his daughter from a previous marriage. and i asked if they were planning to have any children together. they looked at each other and he said, "that's sort of a sore subject". so i let it drop immediately, unsure if maybe they weren't in agreement about it or what the situation was. later, it came out that mrfj and i have been ttc for over a year and they admitted that they had as well and were beginning to wonder if something was wrong. in the end, it was nice because we could both breathe and know that the other understood.

but even my sweet sweet mom does it. i love my mom, but she must have my cycles on the calendar or something because she always seems to call on the day i start spotting. only she WON'T ask about it. it's like the fucking pink elephant in the room. so i've taken to just telling her right off the bat so we don't have to make small talk for a half hour leading in to it. as though i wouldn't tell her immediately if i WERE pregnant. mom tells me to relax a lot, which i know she means well but grrr!

mother in law does the same thing. only then, she adds that if it doesn't happen, it'll be ok. they'll still love me. well, fuck! i should hope so! and yes, i know that she too is just trying to help me not focus so much on it, but at this point, it's hard to step back.

margot
Yeah, I feel my body's being mean to me too! -I was 4 days late with my spotting, so had convinced myself. Plus, my skin and hair are looking great, which is what happened before.....

My mum ignores the whole subject. She'll change the conversation if I start moaning on. She's great at practical advice.
My MIL is fantastic. She had a m/c herself, ages ago. She's a psychologist and counsellor, so always says the right thing. She also sent me a cheque once when I was really low, "To treat yourself to something nice".
So between 'em, I guess I got pretty good support.

It makes me sad when I see my little girl interacting with babies. She'd so love a sibling, and it makes me feel I'm cocking up her life.
(Told you I'm pessimistic today)

I also know what a moody cow I'm being, and that's not fair on Mr.

Enjoy that beer later, I know I will.
falljackets
i hope i didn't come off as sounding like i hated my mom or mil. they're both just trying to be supportive i know. i wouldn't trade them for anything.

so, just to confirm and all...i got my period last friday. yay! bled all over the fucking bed. nice, huh? heaviest period in months. seems like good old mother nature was having a laugh at me. thanks, there!

but something very strange has happened to me since then.

I DON'T CARE ANYMORE.

well, ok - no, it's not that i don't care if i ever get pregnant. i'll be incredibly delighted WHEN it happens. i guess i've just reached a place in which i'm sooo tired waiting for it and devoting my life and thoughts to it that i'm just done. i've put away the thermometer. i didn't take the clomid this month. i've just decided that i'm not going to do anything this month to TRY. i might not do it next month either. because i KNOW it'll eventually happen again. i'm ovulating again. mrfj's boys are strong.

i just don't want to live in two week intervals anymore (before ovulation, after ovulation but before period). i'm depressed for two weeks out of the month, every month. i can't do that to myself anymore. i'm a happy person by nature and i need to find that again (and not just when i'm optimistic about getting pregnant!).

so anyway, i just wanted to get that out there.

funny, i feel like a retard because here i am posting in a thread discussing fertility issues, saying that i'm over all my issues. hehehe. what can i say?
yuefie
I just wanted to bump this thread so we don't lose it, though I don't have much to say except that I am now 33 and if my body's clock ticks any louder, my family and friends will start to hear it. *heavy sigh*

falljackets
bumping for pixie, although i've been meaning to come in here and post recently...

more on me later.

right now, ms pixiedust has the floor...
pixiedust
Wow...I have the floor and now I really don't know what to say. I'm not exactly childless, but it feels like it sometimes since I have to share minipixie with the exasshat. I am just so frustrated at how hard it seems to be to get pregnant, or stay pregnant and I just didn't feel I could vent it in the pregnancy thread where the ladies are complaining about how bad being pregnant is.
I understand where they are coming from. I hated being pregnant with minipixie. I felt rotten for 9 months, but I'd gladly do it over again to have another baby!
I guess more than anything, I am scared. I just turned 30, and although my mother and my sister both had kids when they were 38, I'm afraid I won't be able to have another one. On the one hand I have a great support system of women on another board who are all trying to get pregnant, but on the other hand I have watched them get pregnant and miscarry over and over again! I think the numbers are just starting to really sink in. I've watched more of those women miscarry than I have actually seen go on to have full term pregnancies.
And then there is my mother in law! I love her to death, I really do. But Mr. Pixie's sister has had 2 miscarriages...one of them at 24 weeks. So she's 20 weeks now and his mom still won't buy baby clothes or anything, just in case she miscarries again! That would hurt me so much if people were basically waiting for me to miscarry. So we never told her I was pregnant and that I did miscarry.
This will be our 6 month mark of trying to get pregnant. I haven't decided at what point to give up trying to do it naturally and go in for fertility drugs. I know I am ovulating. I have fairly regular cycles, so I should be ahead of the game. So why the trouble? I've given up on temping. I think maybe I'll cough up the money for a fertility montior next month if nothing happens this month.
margot
Hi Pixiedust.
I'm so sorry you miscarried. I have, twice, and I found it very hard to deal with.
Age-wise, I really don't think you should worry.
Because of the field in which I worked, many women left it til late 30's to start a family, and many conceived and had babies. In fact, when I had Margot jr, I was the youngest of my department, at 31!
Also, don't forget, women looking for on-line support are the ones who need it. If they conceived, and had a baby no problem, they wouldn't be on message boards. I just mean, you'ree reading about the unlucky ones.
Also, if I hadn't done a test, I would never have known about my 2nd m/c. And I wish I had remained ignorant.
I say all the above, because I know how negative a m/c makes you feel. I really hope you start to get through this soon.


How're you 2, FJ and Yuefie?
treelizard
Check out the message boards on tcoyf.com -- lots of people very knowledgeable about infertility issues, or so it seems. I don't know much about it myself, as I'm perennially single, but it seems like a great resource.
starbeattt
Another thanks, FJ, for restarting this thread.

My story is that my husband is probably infertile. By probably, I mean 99% chance, because he has Cystic Fibrosis, and 99% of men with the disease are.

It's a little extra complicated, because Cystic Fibrosis tends to shorten one's lifespan considerably. The average age someone with CF lives to is 35. This would make adoption very difficult for us, according to the social worker at the CF clinic.

We've been married a little over a year, and haven't been using any birth control in that time, and I haven't gotten pregnant. I've never been pregnant with previous partners, but then again, I wasn't trying before.

So, basically, we're at the "if it happens, great!" stage, and thinking about using a sperm donor a few years from now. I'm 24, so we've got time.

So, yeah, it can be awkward when people who don't know about his disease ask about our plans for children. I don't really want to jump right into the whole, "Well, we can't adopt because doctors expect everyone with CF to only make it to middle age, even though my husband is very healthy, sooo...". I usually just say, "I'm only 24!" or, "In a few years, probably." If the push, I do the "two words: sperm bank" which usually stops the conversation.

Anyway, I'm glad this thread is here so we can support each other. (((hugs))) to you all!
pixiedust
That would be so hard! I almost married a man twice my age before Mr. Pixie and we had a lot of discussion about the fact that I still wanted more kids and a)we weren't sure he was still fertile(he and his ex wife always had fertility issues) and cool.gif we knew that I would probably end up raising the cild alone down the road. Thankfully, I met Mr. Pixie and he and I made it clear from the begining that we both wanted to find someone who wanted to have children soon. Like any man, he is a little nervous about all the life changes that come with having kids, but he is also looking forward to having a baby. I would definitly think about the sperm bank in a few years if it were me.
We are back on the TTC bandwagon. My chiropractor has been doing wonders with my back and is going to start me on exercises designed to strengthen my back for pregnancy. I had a bunch of nerves that were compacted in my lower back before so maybe this will help everythign work better.
pixiedust
I was wondering what steps I should take to see someone about my fertility. This is the first time in almost 5 years that I have had health insurance. DO you guys think that my PCP could help me with drugs like clomid or something, or should I see my OB/GYN, or should I see a specialist? I've officially hit 6 months withotu sucess and at 30, I'm not willing to wait until after a year to start seeing if something is wrong.
falljackets
pixie, i completely understand your concern and desire to get the ball rolling.

we'd gone through over a year trying to concieve after my miscarriage in june 05. i know how frustrating it can be when your body isn't cooperating with you.

but i also have to say, and please don't think i'm harsh - you weren't officially "unsuccessful" for six months. even though your pregnancy unfortunately ended in miscarriage, most doctors would want you to sort of reset the time clock. in other words, they'd say you'd only been trying now for ONE month now (or however many cycles since your miscarriage). i know it sucks, but it's actually smarter medicine: some of these fertility meds and treatments can be more invasive and cause more potentially harmful side effects than necessary. but, i'm like you: i wouldn't want to have to wait another six months to a year when precious time could be wasted!!!

have you tried charting? i would recommend charting your temps and cervical fluid for three months to get an idea of whether or not your body is following a regular pattern of ovulation. if it is, chances are you are actually ovulating and clomid isn't going to do anything for you. in that case, it might be a good idea for you to have an HSG done (an injection of dye put through your tubes to check for blockages).

if it isn't, then i would suggest visiting a reproductive endocrinoligist, armed with those three months of charts, and let them run some hormonal tests to see if you're producing the right amounts of hormones to release eggs each month, and can decide if clomid is right for you.

my doctor skipped the tests after we'd been trying for a year with no success. he put me on clomid for four rounds. i took it for three months, but got a little weary over the lack of testing (no blood tests or anything to check to see if it was working!). this concerned me because with clomid, there is supposedly a limited number of times you should take it. it can cause thinning of the uterine lining and cysts.

so i decided to stop taking it and to stop "trying" altogether in september. the whole TTC thing became "too totally consuming" and i decided that i'd wait until january and then start all again, with a specialist rather than my normal OB/GYN. so i researched an RE in the area and even found out that my assistant had begun going to see him. she gave me his biz card and told me to call him to schedule an appointment now so i would be able to get in when i wanted.

well, to make a long story short, i went home that very day (last monday), 2 days late and with sore boobs, and got a positive pregnancy test!!!!!! it really makes me sort of mad because it meant my mom was right when she told me to relax! rolleyes.gif

honestly, i think in the end that it WAS the clomid that eventually worked for me. my body (according to months and months of charting and irregular periods) was not producing eggs, and the clomid must have jumpstarted the process for me. as mad as i was with my doc for not being more thorough, i guess he did the right thing (although i still think he was a little careless for not testing).

so, short advice: buy taking charge of your fertility if you don't already own it. chart for three months so you can have something definitive to show your doc. if you're not pregnant in three months, get a referral (if necessary) to go to a repro endocrinologist and have some tests run.

and no, i'm not going to say the "R" word... smile.gif
pixiedust
I understand what you are saying...but now I am starting to even doubt that I was sucessful last cycle. I bought inexpensive tests last month and so I test the last few days to check..and sure enough, I got enough of a hormone surge to make a faint line on a test a day or two before my period started.
I really am becoming concerned that I am having some sort of hormonal imbalance. My boobs get tremendously painful every month making me sure I'm pregnant and themn I get my period instead. I also get hormonal headaches a lot. The weird thing is that the boob thing didn't start until after we started TTC and I went on prenatal vitamins.

I've tried charting. So far I've been most sucessful at charting cervical position. I *think* I am ovulating. I'd love to get a fertility monitor, but so many other things need my money right now.
falljackets
i had those same doubts, pixie.

my boobs started hurting the day after ovulation nearly every cycle after we started ttc. i had NEVER noticed it before, so i was always convinced every single month that it was happening for me. it sucks and i feel for you. in my case, it WAS a hormonal thing, apparently. (oddly, i didn't get the sore boobs at all this last cycle, until i was officially late)

and i never thought i'd be able to do my temperatures, but it was really pertty easy and became clockwork. there are websites that you can track them with (fertilityfriend.com) or you can even use software included in the book i suggested. i plan to use tcoyf once this little bean is born, since it also talks about prevention of pregnancy during breastfeeding and onward.

have you tried ovulation tests? you can get them pretty inexpensively at babyhopes.com, and that can give you a little mroe assurance that you're doing it on the right day. they also sell sperm-friendly lubricants (pre-seed) that might help. and has mr pixie been tested?

you've probably thought of and tried all this already, but i just hope that maybe something will work for you. try the charting, even of just your CP, and let your doc see it. i wouldn't visit only a GP about it, but at least go to the Ob/GYN - if not an RE.

try not to put too much pressure on yourself and think something is wrong with you. i know it's easier said than done, believe me. it's hard to wait each month, only to get that negative test!

oh, and it's really hard to get a false positive, so it's likely that you were pg. try to think of that as a success! you CAN get pregnant... that's what i've been focused on for the past week and a half since getting my positive test: if anything happens to this pregnancy, at least i KNOW that i'm OK and that it'll happen for us.
kiss_the_fiddler
Not much action on this page, huh? Hmmm. . . I'm dealing with infertility and would welcome support from y'all. I'm a DES daughter but it was given to my mum after the ban. Grrr. . . Any other DES daughters out there? Any of you achieve pregnancy and carry to a successful delivery? I'd like to know what worked for you.

kiss_the_fiddler
Looks like I'm talking to myself here. Hmmm. . . Well, another round of insem ends with no preg. Bummer. Time to try something else. Grrr. . .
kiss_the_fiddler
Anyone here try ivf? I'd like to hear your stories.
kiss_the_fiddler
nobody else here trying to get pregnant and having trouble? I can't be alone in this. I sure do feel alone. My heart is lonely.
JennyTinDC
Hey, All.

I'm not trying to get pregnant at the moment, but I am in the predicament that I have been in a 2+ year relationship with a man I love dearly who is 27. (I am 38.) I do believe he will want children, but he doesn't feel prepared to have them now.

As for me, I feel like my days are numbered. Ironically, he being so much younger, he is terrified of getting me pregnant. So much so that I am on the pill and even then on the rare occassion that he feels comfortable coming inside me, he frets until I get my next period.

We probably will get married at some point, but that also needs to happen before anything else (esp. for him as he is very traditional).

Not only am I afraid that I will never have the chance to try to have kids, but I am afraid that we will eventually break up, and he will have kids without me. I feel like I'm the one who has the most to lose, but I don't want to lose him.

Has anyone else been in this position?

Jenny
kiss_the_fiddler
So, I saw a new fertiltiy doc this week. I'm starting all over, from the beginning. I'm frustrated. I'm happy that this doc is taking my situation seriously and happy that he's being honest with me. My old doc was never honest. Honesty is good, even if he's not saying what I want to hear. So, my wife and I well spend a coupla thousand dollars just to see if I have the hormones and patent fallopian tubes to get pregnant. I want to know. I'm scared to know. I don't know . . .
falljackets
kiss the fiddler,

sorry that this thread hasn't seen much action lately. i hadn't even noticed that you were posting in it until just now. i am sorry that you are feeling alone but i know what you mean. i felt that way for a lot of time before i was finally successful in getting pregnant.

i don't have a lot of advice for your particular situation, but i just wanted you to know that i'm here and that i care about what's going on. don't feel like you are talking to deaf ears. it took me a while, but i heard you. smile.gif

i wish you the best of luck and keep us updated on the new fertility doc!!
kiss_the_fiddler
falljackets,

Thank you for your post. It's good to know someone hears me. How were you finally sucessful in becoming pregnant?

Right now, I'm waiting for my next cycle to start. When it does, I'll go in for a 3rd day blood test to check all sorts of different hormone levels. I'll know more then.

falljackets
kiss, my situation was that i'd miscarried and my body had responded by shutting down. i wasn't ovulating for about a year. so, the doc gave me fertility drugs (clomid) and i took them for two or three months. when nothing happened after that, i just stopped thinking about it - said i needed a break and decided to put it on the back burner until the first of the year.

that was in august and i got pregnant in october. i guess the medication actually worked for me, just not as quickly as i had wanted, and my body began ovulating again. either that, or all the vodka/redbulls i started drinking did the trick. tongue.gif

you're def going at it the right way with the blood tests and seeing an RE. you should be able to get pretty definitive answers that route. i am sending you and your wife positive baby vibes!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
kiss_the_fiddler
Yippee. It's cycle day one for me today. On Tuesday I go in for blood tests to see if I even have enough of the right hormones in me bod to support a pregnancy. I'm not usually excited for my period to start. This time I was. Go figure.
kiss_the_fiddler
So . . . I finally got the results back on my 3rd day blood tests. My hormone levels are good! Yippee!!!! My thyroid, however, is crap. I'm supposed to work with another doc to get that evened out then do a recheck of the hormone levels in a month. Hurry up and wait. But I'm glad for the good news.
kiss_the_fiddler
So, got my TSH results back and my thyroid is still off, but off in the other direction. So adjusting meds again. I'll do another third day of my cycle bunch of tests when the third day rolls around.

I talked to one potential fresh sperm donor. He said no but had some suggestions of who else to talk to. I'm glad for his honesty. It's awkward though. How in the hell does one broach the subject with a potential donor? Gees.

fiddler
kiss_the_fiddler
So, I'm starting my period today, or almost anyway. I'm in the brown goo stage (sorry, tmi). So, I'm on track for my next set of test my hormone blood tests. It'll be on the third day of my cycle, counting from the first day of red bleeding. I'm excited. I'm not usually impatient to get my period but this time, I am. I hope my hormone levels come out good. I still need to find a fresh donor. Any bright ideas?

fiddler
kiss_the_fiddler
I go in for blood tests tomorrow. I hope my hormone levels are conducive to pregnancy. I want it so much. Having trouble finding a sperm donor though. That adds to the frustrations. Wish us luck.

fiddler
shinyx3
fingers and toes crossed for you fiddler
falljackets
me and jackaroo are sending all kinds of baby-making vibes your way, fiddler!!!!
kiss_the_fiddler
Woo-hoo!!! I got the test results from the last round of blood tests and the doctor says that my hormone levels have improved greatly. He says they look really good!!! Next step is an HSG which is scheduled for next Monday at 1030. I'm so excited!!!!

partystar, if the time is not yet right for you, then wait. You'll know when it's right.

fiddler
anarch
infertility information & bulletin boards to vent, or discuss with people in the same situation
kiss_the_fiddler
Yep, been there. Even called their phone line on occasion. Resolve is a great organization. I wish they had a group in my part of the country. Thanks.

So, the HSG went well. My uterus has changed shape. It used to be "T" shaped and now it's not. Huh? Anyone else heard of a DES daughter's uterus changing shape? I have one blocked tube but the other one is wide open.

I went to doc again today for a ultrasound of my ovaries. I'm cooking an egg in my right ovary which is good seeing as it's my right tube that's open. So I'm peeing on sticks and feeling my cervical mucus several times a day waiting to ovulate. I'm excited. We have our donor picked out from the cryobank and all I have to do is call them. I'll probably O over the weekend so will have an on-call doc do the insem. We'll see.

fiddler
anarch
When I came across the link on another board, I wondered if people here already knew about Resolve, but I went ahead and posted anyway just in case somebody might find it useful.

I hope your plans for the weekend went well, fiddler. Sounds exciting!
kiss_the_fiddler
So, we're good to go. Ordered swimmies. Appointment to insem tomorrow afternoon. Looking forward to it. The next two weeks will be hard. Anyway . . .

fiddler
tankgirl
good luck fiddler!
kiss_the_fiddler
Thanks.

So, we IUI today at Dr's office. I'm officially in the tww week wait. The longest two weeks ever. I hope it sticks.

fiddler
falljackets
sending piles and piles of babydust your way, fiddler! smile.gif
shinyx3
fingers crossed for you fiddler. if i could cross my toes i would do that too.

xoxo
shiny
snarky7
*pixie dust on fiddler*
snarky7
*
kiss_the_fiddler
One week down, one week to go. I swear, this is the longest two weeks of my life. It is every time. You'd think I'd have gotten used to the TWW in the three years we've been trying to get pregnant. But nope, each time, it takes for f-ing ever. I'm so hopeful that my mind manifests all sorts of pregnancy symptoms. It's driving me up a wall. Ok, my hope and anxiety induced 'pregnancy' symptoms: sore nipples, heavier boobs, pulling sensation in lower abdomen since four days past ovulation, increased sweating, pregnancy dreams, increased sexual sensitivity. I so much hope that this is my cycle. Ugh. One more week until I can show a positive on a pee stick. I amuse myself by going to www.peeonastick.com. It's a fun website if you're bored sometime and want to check it out.

Thanks for your support.

fiddler
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