Sep 21 2006, 12:59 PM
if you read my next post GGG, you would know that i HAVE had one.
also, i wasnt taking issue with the fact about the person in higher position thing, bc i agree with people on that, and have never had that type of experience. i was taking issue with your "its always inappropriate for a 16 year old to be with a 20 year old and i dont care if i am condecending". considering that was a direct response to what i had said, i am not exactly sure there is any other way to take it but personally.
i also take issue with the fact that (and this has nothing to do with a personal thing) their are sweeping generalizatinons being said about people of a certain age group and their ability to reason, which is something i just dont think you can necessarily do. i am personally comfortable with my decisions, which is why i dont like to see women who are suppposedly sex positive knocking down other women when it comes to sexuality. its one thing to protect children against abusers (and we must) but its another thing to assume that a 17 year old cant make an informed decision to sleep with someone older (NOT a teacher) and then say you dont care if you are condesending. you have to protect people, but it cant be done in a condescending way, or without realizing that they are all different when it comes to maturity etc.
Sep 21 2006, 01:17 PM
katie, your whole argument has been based on sweeping generalizations of your own experience on others'.
I understand an 18 year old and a 20 year old, but not a 16 year old and a 20 yr old, what does a 16 year old and a 20 year old have in common?
You started your point by saying all boys who could have sex with their "hot" older, teacher would think it was rad. I think that is a blanket generalization and it is sexist.
Which you never address, nor back up with anything but your experience as a girl. Look at Mary Kay's now husband, that kid is pretty screwed up. Can't hold a job, is on medication for depression, do you think it may have to do with being manipulated by an older woman in a position of power, when his mother was unavailable, and now he is too far deep to realize? Plus with your attitude, it could be seen as emasculating oneself if a boy were to say they were raped by their "Hot older teacher".
Sep 21 2006, 02:24 PM
ggg- this is exactly what i was upset with, and yeah, katie never did get back to discussing that (at least i dont' think so...).
"Plus with your attitude, it could be seen as emasculating oneself if a boy were to say they were raped by their "Hot older teacher""
it's important for us to all be listened to and for our experience to be heard, but we also have to remind ourselves that we're just one person with one experience.
i swear, this board is helping me so much, really realizing how different people are. just SO different, even if you have tons and tons of things in common, no matter what, there will be things that you disagree on. that sounds sorta dumb, but lately it's just been hitting me a lot-that there are some things i'll never get (like ear piercing/ tattoos/ high heels / wanting to be a mom/ working in the sex industry,etc etc...). (those are just random examples off the top of my head). and even though i don't get it, or understand, or even "approve" (in some places), i have to just accept it! and that's really damn hard to do, at least for me. it's not that my opinion is wrong, or the other person's is, it's just we are different.
la la la, i sound like fucking sesame street or something. ack
Sep 21 2006, 02:57 PM
Right! Like some of us have green fur all over our bodies and some of us.. oh, wait
I kinda support Katiebelle in that I always have slept with older men. Including my first one. Always had crushes on older boys, too. There may even be a biological difference about that in the sense that boys mature later. But, my crushes were for guys 2 or three years older -- not, say, my friend's dads. You can KIND OF feel that way, but it's different, and if acted upon, especially with the social consequences if discovered - well, it would not be good.
The biggest age difference for me was when I was 18 and slept with a guy who was 31 -- this was because the boys in my college were dorky, and not in that "cute" way. He was hot, but very selfish and distant and probably slept with younger people for an ego thing or because he didn't want to move on. I can't say he should be criminally liable or anything, but, he still wasn't an optimum kind of person. It's just generally true that the bigger the age difference the more likely that one or both partners has some kind of uncomfortable issues and is looking for a subsitute of some kind.
It's good to recognize that teacher/student or other power differential can be hot if people are playing roles but would usually have bad consequences if acted upon in real life...
Sep 21 2006, 03:27 PM
i am not sure now how i feel about the boys now. i do think some boys would think its cool, but that doesnt mean its good for them i understand that and agree with you guys. i also think bc of socialization, boys would be more likely to think its cool then girls do, but again, not necessarily good for them.
i am not only speaking from my experience, but from others as well, wombat is just yet another one. i am not the ONLY 16 year old who has ever slept with a 20 year old (or any other age combo within reason) i am not going to sit here and name peoples names. and, until you are in that position, GGG, dont think that no 16 year olds have stuff in common with 20 year olds, and i tried to state when maddy asked me to explain how it was. if anything thats just being as guilty of using personal experience only as you say i am.
again i will say that really, there isnt a huge difference btw 16 and 18 (especially since 16 is the age of consent in some states!) and if people are ready, they are ready. if not, well then definitly dont do it just because others are.
Oct 19 2006, 09:22 PM
Debra Lafave's ex husband was on Dr Phil today, they were making a show about (male) students having sex with their (female) teachers.
The only thing I'm going to say about this is that they try to put it like its all the woman's fault. Sure, she's nasty for trying to bed a 15 year old, BUT it takes two to tango. The guys were around 15 year olds, don't come and tell me they are sweet and innocent and they didn't know what they were doing! Please.
Oct 20 2006, 04:37 AM
QUOTE(dani837 @ Oct 20 2006, 03:39 AM)
Sure, she's nasty for trying to bed a 15 year old, BUT it takes two to tango.
According to Wikipedia
, he was 14 and she was 25. I assume you'd be saying the same thing about a 14-year-old girl and a 25-year-old man?
Oct 20 2006, 10:27 AM
sure, 15 is different than a five year old, but it's still a major abuse of power. i don't know many 15 year olds who have a clue....do you?
Oct 20 2006, 10:36 AM
Here is a gross little tid bit: Debra LaFave took Nick Carter's Virginity. They dated in High School.
Oct 20 2006, 12:20 PM
how random and weird....
Oct 22 2006, 01:14 PM
I work in a high school and 14, 15 even 16 year old boys are to put it bluntly GROSS they are pimply, scrawny, smelly and super immature. Why any woman would want to fuck one of them is beyond me. While it takes two to tango the teacher is the adult in a situation of power and it is exploitative to fuck this kids, becuase well, they are still kids. but mainly boys at that age are truly gross. when it comes to sex, yes 15 year old boys are totally clueless which makes them easier to manipulate.
Oct 22 2006, 01:22 PM
HAHAHAHA she DID?! why is this only coming out now? that is fantastic. in a really weird way.
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