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Full Version: Would You Rather, The Game Of Horrible, Aweful, No Good Choices
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tommynomad
QUOTE(i_am_jan @ Sep 18 2008, 12:34 AM) *
Oh maude...BABS without a flinch! (That duet "GUILTY" with Barry Gibb, on a loop, all day laugh.gif


Permanently in my mp3 player's top 20 rotation: "andwegotnothingtobeguil-ty-of..." wink.gif

If I could sing like any man, it would be Barry Gibb.

Would you rather be sung to by a man who sounds like Barry Gibb, Barry White, or Frankenberry?
ihateoly
Barry White or Franken berry, Scientologist (I grew up Evangelical *shudder*) and definatley crocs. I think this thread is soooo funny and awesome, btw. Why did you ladies let it die? More, please!
culturehandy
barry white.

Okay, would you rather have porcupine quills shoot from your ass when ever you get nervous or skunk smell shoot from your bum whenever you got nervous?
ihateoly
Porcupine neddles. That could be like a super power or something, like, "Woman stops bank robbery with her own ass". Hehehe The skunk thing would just garauntee that noone would ever want to be around me, including myself.
culturehandy
Okay, would you rather have to eat roadkill every lunch for the rest of your life or hissing cockroaches?
ihateoly
Ugh. Roadkill. At least I could cook it or something. I think I'd starve to death if I had to try and eat cockroaches. Would you rather have a mustache or not have sex for 2 years?
vixen_within
*shakes head* you guys are way too hard core for me.
Lily_Anne
QUOTE(ihateoly @ Nov 28 2008, 01:39 PM) *
Would you rather have a mustache or not have sex for 2 years?


Hand me the tweezers. That goes for unibrows (forehead 'staches) too. I'm vain; plus I figure two years of masturbation won't be so bad.

Disclaimer: an answer from a virgin, aka someone who doesn't actually know what she's missing...

When I was 14, I knew a female Christian minister with quite a 'stashe. I thought she must be very religious and chaste. For the longest time I assumed all lady pastors were like that.
lilacwine13
Porcupine quills, since that would be kinda cool.

Eat roadkill *shudders at the thought of roaches*

Not have sex for two years; I've done it before and am already battling a very, very faint mustache. sad.gif

Okay, having to deal with a persistent nasal drip or occasional and unpredictable anal leakage?
ihateoly
mellow.gif huh.gif I'll take the constant runny nose, thanks. Anal leakage?! Scary...
ihateoly
Okay, would you rather have six toes or six fingers?
shinyx3
fingers! six toes might make it hard to wear pretty shoes.

would you rather fart like a dog and be unaware of it or always have the smell of dog fart in your nose.
culturehandy
Nasal drip!

Six fingers, I oculd wear more rings. Might make wearing brass knuckles an issue, but oh well.

Sex for two years, i don't think I'ld look becoming with facial hair.

Dog fart smell, you'd get used to it. I wouldn't want to be queen farts a lot.

Okay, would you rather have 8 arms (like Vishnu!) or 8 legs like an octopus?

ihateoly
Fingers.

No sex for two years might make a me a little crazy and there's always wax, so I'ma go with the 'stache.

I don't think I'd ever want to get used to dog fart smell, so I would take having bed gas, I think. My husband is bluntly honest and would leave the room if it were that bad.

I would rather have Vishnu arms. They look pretty on statues. 8 legs is gross.
ihateoly
Would you rather have no eyelashes or no eyebrows and have to draw them on with a greasy eyeliner pencil?
auralpoison
This is a toughie. A friend of mine's wife had alopecia. When we first met, I knew *something* was off about her physically. It took me five minutes to notice the total lack of body hair. She looked like an alien naked; all big bald head & no make up & all.

My gran came up during an era where thin brows were the thing, she plucked them dead. She drew them in.

I'm gonna go with brows.

Would you rather be MAD fat or have HUGE bags of skin that required plastic surgery after you got thin?
ihateoly
Oh, damn. That's worse than having a bald forehead AND bald eyelids. I'm sooooo affraid of surgery, but I'ma have to go with the saggy skin and surgery. I'm a horrible person. unsure.gif
musiclovr89
I'll have to go with the brows. some people can actually pull off drawin their eyebrows in though.
culturehandy
Ooh brows or eye lashes, you could have a lot of fun with that.

I'll go with brows.

Excess skin, at least surgery can solve that problem.

Okay, here's one since it' so fucking cold here and my skin is going though hell.

Would you rather feel like you constantly have sand paper rubbing against your skin, OR have dry scalp.
ihateoly
Ooh, dry scalp because i'm having some gnarly dry winter skin issues now and it ain't fun. Fuck winter psoriasis! I wish I had three thumbs so I could give it three thumbs down!
crazyoldcatlady
there's this study floating around all those digg-type sites that talk about how 47% of women chose the internet over sex.

so, ladies: no internet for the rest of your life, or no sex?
ihateoly
No internet.
auralpoison
Wait. Exactly how are they defining "sex"? Are they talkin' strictly penetrative? Is it strictly male/female or can there be variations? Are they including foreplay & oral & such? What about masturbation? Anything barring toys? I need more information to decide!

I don't take my 'puter on vacation, about five days is my limit. I can go without sex for a LOOOOT longer than that. I can be a sexual camel & store it all up in my, ahem, hump!

I was without the 'net all last week & nearly went starkers. I enjoyed some *new* male attention a few times & as soon as it was over? Everything I had wanted to look up that day flooded my mind. My lust for information is pretty high, maybe even higher than my lust for cock.

ihateoly
That's some pretty hardcore internet lovin' to consider giving up sex! I couldn't do it. unsure.gif
alluna
Bleh. I make my living online, so I would have to crown someone 'Sugar Daddy' if I gave up the internet.

But if said person KNEW I had given up my job forever just for the horizontal polka, then he would definitely have some sort of psychological advantage over me. I'm thinking it would get thrown in my face a lot. The no-internet deal, that is.

So, ummm...hmm.
crazyoldcatlady
well, since it seems we need some parameters:

sex= anything beyond kissing, involving any gender. no masturbation (sex with self).

no internet= you'd still have an income, but no internet, even for work. none. no matter what a n00b tells you, there is no internet in the champagne room.
vixen_within
Honestly, I had more of a life before the internet & I can find other ways to get things done, make money etc. No internet.

Famous rejects, flavours of the month & has-beens:
would you rather be the has-been actor, the one hit singer, or the mostly forgotten writer?
Persiflager
Mostly forgotten writer - there's always the chance your books will be in vogue 100 years from now.

Would you rather give up drinking or take up smoking?
culturehandy
COCL, that is by far one of the most difficult ever. I honestly don't know.

Writer. Writing is a hard living.

I don't drink, so I'll give up drinking.

Hmmm, okay...would you rather be Blue like a blueberry ala Violet Beauregard or be an Oompa Loompa?
ihateoly
With the new criteria, I'm still going to say no internet.

I think writer is the more respectable of the choices.

I don't smoke, so that's an easy call.

Violet Beauregard, for sure. She could get squeezed, but you can't squeeze an oompa loompa.

vixen_within
I don't smoke or drink much so no sacrifices here. Drinking I guess?

& Violet Beauregard. (then i would organize a rally outside the factory to liberate the oompa loompahs)


culturehandy
OKay, would you rather be the eternal "other woman" your partner has a wife, and you're his mistress, but he (or she) would never leave their spouse or would you rather be married and love your other person, but never be able to leave your spouse.
Persiflager
Married. I want to have my yummy cake and gobble it all up!
culturehandy
would you rather have a hump, like a camel, or fish scales. Both come without superpowers, so because you have fish scales, you can't swim like a sfish.
Persiflager
Assuming the fish scales would be all over my body, I'd choose hump so that my lovely cleavage would be preserved tongue.gif (I'm feeling shallow and happy today).

In the olde fairy tale style, would you rather be stunning during the day and a hideous hag at night or the other way around?
culturehandy
stunning during the day, I meet more people during the day.

Okay, would you rather be involved with a man who's dick was really large, I mean, you can't even fuck him, or painfully small (we're talking like 1 inch wonder).
Persiflager
Small, I reckon - he could always wear a strap-on that was the perfect size!

If aliens abducted you and re-engineered your body, would you rather have your digestive system removed (so you couldn't eat or drink anything, but existed on air alone), or your reproductive system (so you couldn't have sex but would instead reproduce by budding tongue.gif )?
culturehandy
I'm going to go with No Digestive system.

Okay, would you rather have It's a small world for your doorbell ringer, and people would always ring the doorbell, no way to get rid of it OR Oops I did it again by Brit same deal on door bell ringer?
Persiflager
Britney, no contest! If I had 'It's a small world' I'd kill anyone who rang the bell, and I need my postman alive to deliver Amazon parcels.

Would you have tendonitis and never be able to wear high heels, or develop an allergy and never be able to wear make-up?
culturehandy
having had tendonitis in my ankle before, you can adapt, I'll take that. I bought some pretty rocking cute flats, too.

No mouth or no nose?
foryoursplendor
QUOTE(culturehandy @ Jan 5 2009, 11:19 AM) *
having had tendonitis in my ankle before, you can adapt, I'll take that. I bought some pretty rocking cute flats, too.

No mouth or no nose?


I guess I'd have to say no mouth... might be kinda fun to draw a different mouth on your face every day with a sharpie. *shrugs*
Persiflager
No nose means freedom from colds. Yes please!
culturehandy
tentacles for arms or birds legs for legs.
Persiflager
Bird legs - I need my hands.

Would you rather constantly smell like you've just farted, or constantly be farting noisily (but with no smell)?
culturehandy
that's the worst choice ever!!!

I guess no smell...10 year old boys would find that just way too funny.

Hmmm...Have your surgery performed by Dr. Nick Rivera of The Simpsons or die from not having the surgery performed?
gradgal
I guess that I would always try to have the surgery rather than not in case some sort of miracle happened. Better than awaiting impending death.

Okay, here's one....would you rather sweat profusely for the rest of your life (I mean clothes are visibly wet sweating) but with no body odour
OR have really bad body odour (I mean people around you are visibly uncomfortable) for the rest of your life but without the profuse sweating?

Hmmm...I still deciding on this one myself
Persiflager
Sweaty with no BO - at least I could still get laid! I'd just wear sports clothes all the time and pretend I just finished exercising.
tongue.gif

Would you rather spend the night on a filthy motel-room mattress, complete with bed-bugs and all the bodily fluids that show up under blue light on CSI, or on a park-bench in a dodgy neighbourhood?
culturehandy
sweating, you can get botox to stop that.

Park bench in a dodgy neighbourhood.

Ummm, would you rather be have tons of hair in your head and no body hair or have tons of baody hair but none of your face and head and in both cases not being able to do anything about the excess body hair, no wxing, electrolysis, laser removal, NOTHING!
Persiflager
Ooh, lots of head-hair and none on body, that would save me so much time! I can live with a little 'tash.

Bald all over or horribly hairy all over?
gradgal
Bald all over....I can always buy a wig for my head. Plus think of all the time and money that would be saved on hair removal! rolleyes.gif

Next choice....for the remainder of your life, having all of your sexual needs fulfilled but not finding love OR finding love but not having any of your sexual needs fulfilled?
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