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mouse
today some guy grabbed me on the street in broad daylight. i was walking by him and i guess i walked a little too close and he fucking reached out and grabbed my upper arm. and then walked past like nothing had happened. i was so stunned i didn't know what to do so it was a little late when i yelled "DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME ASSHOLE!" back at him. he just kept walking, looking straight ahead. i couldn't fucking believe it. i still can't.
LoveMyPugs
*walks into thread and jumps backwards into the huge pile of laundry on the floor landing on her back with an exhausted huff/sigh*

I hate laundry...
falljackets
*stalks into thread with bullhorn*

FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

YOU SUCK. I WANT TO TELL YOU SO BADLY JUST HOW MUCH YOU SUCK. AND I SUCK FOR NOT HAVING THE FUCKING BALLS TO TELL YOU HOW MUCH YOU SUCK.

OH, AND FUCK YOU!

*curtsies primly*

just needed to get that off my chest to boss/"friend"
culturehandy
*hands FJ a very large, very frozen, very stinky trout to hit her "friend", boss, and accountant at work with.

*sits back and observes*
rantrave88
*drinks Magic Super-Angry Potion*
*grows bigger than the Earth*

Now I am floating in space! This is cool!

*rolls in two giant BOULDERS*

*hurls one at boy 1, laughs wickedly.*
THAT IS FOR BEING NEEDY AND FORCING (forcing? wtf?) ME TO LOVE YOU AND NOT SPENDING A DIME ON ME WHILE I SPEND HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS ON LONG DISTANCE CALLS!!!!!!!!
Hurls the other (this one has big sharp spiky things on it!!) at boy 2, with considerably more force.*
THAT IS FOR BEING A TEASE AND A MEAN ASSHOLE AND TWO YEARS OF EMPTY PROMISES AND USING ME!!!!!!!!

*Takes out a couple of dinosaur bones.*
YOU FUCKERS! EVEN THOUGH I CRIED MYSELF TO SLEEP WITH YOUR SAPPY SHITTY TUNES YOU ARE STILL TWO HOTT BABES AND GET EVERYTHING AND I DON'T!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Bonks Liz Phair and Stevie Nicks on their pretty foreheads*

*shrinks to normal size and strength and skips into the sunshine*
bunnyb
*enters thread dragging obnoxious male behind her and bitch-slaps him from here to Timbuckfuckingtoo*

In your nimrod little universe it's acceptable to call strangers fat and ugly, is it? You ignorant fucking twat. I don't care that you are deaf with a huge fucking chip on your shoulder or that your boyfriend left you in a strange city with no money and that you're a drunken asshole: THAT IS NOT ACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOUR!

Screw you Mr. I may be fat and ugly* but at least I have a boyfriend who loves me the way I am and doesn't abandon me (I don't blame yours).

*by your standards. Cos as a gay man you are going to be attracted to me and can rate my beauty.

*gives you another punch in the nuts for good measure*
LoveMyPugs
QUOTE(bunnyb @ May 23 2007, 07:08 PM) *
*enters thread dragging obnoxious male behind her and bitch-slaps him from here to Timbuckfuckingtoo*

In your nimrod little universe it's acceptable to call strangers fat and ugly, is it? You ignorant fucking twat. I don't care that you are deaf with a huge fucking chip on your shoulder or that your boyfriend left you in a strange city with no money and that you're a drunken asshole: THAT IS NOT ACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOUR!

Screw you Mr. I may be fat and ugly* but at least I have a boyfriend who loves me the way I am and doesn't abandon me (I don't blame yours).

*by your standards. Cos as a gay man you are going to be attracted to me and can rate my beauty.

*gives you another punch in the nuts for good measure*


*strolls up very calmly to bunnyb and slaps her in the face*

I'm sorry but you forced me when you said, and I quote, "I may be fat and ugly..."

Stop that right now. Be nice to yourself.

*pulls bunnyb in for a big hug and kiss*

Sorry! Love you!


bunnyb
laugh.gif lmp, thanks. A little down on myself just now and asswipe didn't help.

*slaps toad-like interviewer with infuriatingly stupid smile across the face repeatedly with a wet fish*

Your feedback is a bunch of crap, as was the whole interview process. My responses "lacked depth and focus"? You kept cutting me off! They were competency-based Qs that were irrelevant to the job in question. Oh and I wasn't nervouus: I didn't give a fuck and you annoyed me. How can you possibly take 5mins to decide who makes a good teacher? Your loss, lady. I'm beyond delighted that I wasn't accepted onto a course where you teach and I have faith that the other uni will take the interview process seriously.

Oh, and please straighten your hair. The 80s may have made a comeback but frizzy perms with a fringe haven't.
culturehandy
drags useless play thing into thread by hair and throws him on the ground.

Listen to my you useless fucking peice of shit. I cannot believe how you mother fucking dealt with that whole situation. You could have been so much more mature about it. You are 37 fucking years old, maybe it's time for you ro grow up just a fcuking litle. You have a daughter, yet you feel it necessary to get loaded in front of her. You also drive home drunk, frequently. That's pretty fucking pathetic.

*hits with rubber chicken and walks away* Oh, and you know what, you'll never get it as good again. I'm the fucking best.
LoveMyPugs
*walks up to Culture's useless plaything on the floor and kicks him in the ass for good measure*

Straighten up bud!

*follows Culture out of the room*

That's right!
sassygrrl
slaps stupid recruiter bitch...

why did you email me and give me false hope??



anna k
friend who insulted me: I'm not talking to you until you apologize. I hate being sweet and nice and apologetic. You said some insulting shit to me, and it was messed-up of you to say that. So next time I see you you better apologize because you had no right to say that.

boss: pay me more and let me work more hours so I don't have to scrounge around for better jobs with health benefits and more $$$.

girl whose apartment I visited as a potential roommate: please pick me. I'm sick of waiting and seeing apartments. You had a brick wall and a fire escape and it was four floors up and looked so small and comfy. Pick me!

QUOTE
I'm the fucking best.


I love you CH. I get that feeling too whenever I go out with guys who are too boring or dull for me, or when they're into me but I just can't get into them. I would think, "You wouldn't know what to do with me anyway. I'm not much for being a girlfriend or an everyday thing."



anna k
Dear boss,

Fuck. You.

You're firing me after I've been here since February, I've interned for you and now you're firing me because you want somebody more senior. God fucking dammit. I need this work. I've been staying with my grandma and hoping to be made full-time and applying for lots of jobs. You too had forgotten to write an evaluation of me, leading to an incomplete grade for my media internship class. I am better than this, but I needed the money. God fucking dammit. Now I have another thing to worry about besides housing, jobs, and finishing a class in school that I didn't pass because I was terrible at it.

Go fuck yourself.
laurenann
I could slap the people who made up the rules for obtaining all of the stuff that one looses when they leave their wallet in a cab on vacation. How the hell am I supposed to get all of this stuff replaced when all the stuff you need to show to get the replacement was all in my wallet?? Fuuuuuck this. Grr.
kelkello
Fucking hell, boy! Just leave me alone. I can't handle you liking me this much. It's too transparent and it's making me not want to hang out with you anymore.
anna k
Dear boss, you are a nasal-voiced, obnoxious bitch. You are kicking me out of my job in a month, you don't pay me much yet still want to dock pay out of my lunchtime, you have me do stupid jobs like calling up people to check information and sending me out like a dog to deliver items to people, you talk to me as if I'm retarded or a moron. I can do so much better than you.
Moonpieluv
Roomie: You have over-reacted to the point of astonishment. I do not want to be your friend anymore. I think you are a hypocritical, queenie, egotisical, Chatty Cathy, self-righteous, finanically retarded fake ass coke-head. I deserve an apology. You are ten years older than me and yet a child. You lack any ability to empathize. You judge the world harshly to make yourself feel somehow more in control of yourself... to feed your fashionista rocker wannabe ego. And you blow snot-rockets in the shower, slam about the kitchen as if your motions were charged with rage, never NEVER clean the bathroom, eat all my food on a regular basis, bring drugs in my home, and I never know whether you'll have your money together for the month. I have spotted you money, diplomatically told you to replace food when eaten AND NOT EAT THE REPLACEMENT!, I never mention the bathroom cause Whatever really, and watched you berate and exaggerate other people's actions.. professing to the world your hatred for people for no apparent reason, and attempted to enlist 21yr olds to look up to you as the coolest guy in town. Your mouth that spills sewage into the world disgusts me most. We all make mistakes... I have taken care of all of mine promptly. If it must come to this, at least I'll get a new place with better amenities. I only stuck around as long as I did with your broke ass because I was your friend that didn't want to put you out of a roomie or bills that you can't have put in your name. It rather sucks cause you have some good points. Too bad that you worry about your "coolness" to the point of "uncool". (this may seem insecurity on my part, but it's actually true and I'm not the only one whom I've overheard *gossiping* about him).

Some friends: Get a life and realize it's a big world out there. Find more important things to do with your time.

Big Mama: You care, but manipulate. You perpetuate things. We are not your children.... so don't compare your "children" or point a disappointing finger at your "black sheep". It's unbecoming really. I still like you dearly, but dang lady.. back off people. I'm certainly not the only one. Funny... you did the same thing to my roomie when he was stealin money from you. NOw that's a big deal.

I'm done. for now. All the afore mentioned has shed some serious light whom I choose to be in my circle of friends... Thanks roomie for being a total dick! You actually did me a favor!

Off to find new friends and back off compromising myself for the sake of approval to a bunch of overweening egos with change issues.



NocturnalCatie
idiot manager: for fucks' sake quit making up these elaborate sob stories that change every month to get pity. quit degrading the other employees for no fucking reason. stop being a pompous bitch and give me a little credit for the shit I do around the store that is really YOUR job. Stop bitching about how much work you fucking do, when all you really do is sit on your ass all day and watch movies.

boyfriends' annoying friends: Fuck you. Seriously. You are not the only one with a weird family, I could give a rats' ass about them. Stop telling me the same stories every time I see you. Also, just because I have bigger boobs than you doesn't mean they should be you're favorite things to make jokes about. I get it, I have big boobs. Ha fucking ha. And if i take the brain space to remember your name, you could at least pretend you remember mine instead of ignoring me the entire time I'm around. i don't like you any more then you like me, but he does, so suck it up.

neighbors in the apartment above me: Quit throwing your damned beer cans onto my patio/half-patio thing! It's not a giant garbage can, damnit! And either break up or move on with your lives, just stop screaming at each other up and down the hallways all fucking day and night.

crazy woman living next to me: are you doing construction in your bathroom, or do you wash yourself by beating your body against the fucking tiles?
anna k
I failed at the Simnet Excel test. The CD-ROM couldn't work on my laptop and I couldn't get it to work well on some school computers. I lost my school I.D. and can't use the student computers, only the school library ones. I failed and it pisses me off because I use Excel at work and never have to use all the formats or make it spiffy. I hate that this is part of my graduation and I didn't get to study for it as much as I wanted to (no tutoring avaliable for it). I hate myself and I hate finishing school.
missladyj
Why the FUCK is no one able to give a muthafuckin straight answer about what classes will count or not toward my fucking degree and NO I didn't talk to Melissa Hicks in 06 and if you would have told me about this a fucking year ago when my program was denied and had me come up with a new program immediately I would not be in this frustrating ass situation Dick head. You suck as an administrator and an advisor and now I am totally getting screwed because of it.

On top of the fact that I have the fucking boot on my motherfuckin car and I am dealing with this refi SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT ( slams a baseball bat into the wall!)

Fuckin A can't a girl get a fucking break?

FFFFUUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKKK!!!!!
LoveMyPugs
*takes bat from missladyj, gives her a hug, hands her back the bat, motions for her to continue*

smile.gif
culturehandy
*saunters into thread with weed and liquor*

help yourself all!

*promptly plugs in vapourizer and waits for it to warm up*
mouse
AAARGH my friend and i were gonna go dancing tonight but then we found out that the place we were going didn't have dancing tonight, its only select fridays not every one. and now i am all showered and primped and raring to go out and she would rather save her money than go somewhere random. I AM CRANKY ABOUT THIS. I WANT TO GO OUT. I DO NOT WANT TO WASTE MY SHOWER AND PRIMPING. *whine rant rant*
missladyj
thanks pugs!
And CH, how did you know that is just what the doctor ordered

I feel better already. Plus I paid for tickets for the boot after of course waiting in line for over an hour. After that we were on our way to a bbq and fortunately they were handing out free shots at the grocery store this did not however stop me from yelling at strangers in the street and calling everyone a "douche" it did keep me from punching people in the neck at the grocery store. The bbq was great. I was able to drink daquiris, beer and shots of stoli o. Ah vodka.
mouse
OH MY GOD SHE DID IT AGAIN TONIGHT TOO.
NocturnalCatie
how fucking hard is it to clean a fucking glass that you just drank water out of?! and why do you have to leave your nasty half eaten food on the counter so it attracts bugs? It's fucking disgusting. It's like living with a small child who doesn't know any better. Why is it that I come home and the fridge is a mess, the bed is a mess, all my shit has been rifled through to find my papers, or my pipe? You can't call and ask me where they are?! Why is it that I'm nice enoughto spend my fucking time and money on cleaning your shit and washing your clothes, but I come home and you only washed your shit, and cleaned your side of the bedroom? We've been living here for 5 months already, it's time to unpack your shit in the living room! I'm sick on tripping over boxes! I work, too. Yet somefuckinghow I managed to unpack my shit, plus the bathroom/kitchen/bedroom/most of the living room excluding your junk that's collecting dust in boxes? I am not your fucking maid! And if I am, where's my money asshole?!
And I will shred those fucking magazines to pieces if you don't sort through them.
Can you not detach yourself from your fucking computer for five minutes to have a conversation with me that doesn't involve grunts, single words, or porn? I work in a porn shop, I don't wanna hear about it all fucking day long!
and if you say one more fucking joke about me being angry because of my period, I'll show you just how fucking angry I can get.
Moonpieluv
Roomie: You are a fucking narcissitic coward. Go snort another line of coke and keep telling yourself you are a good person for what you've done... cause karma is a bitch. I see straight thru you and you know it... and hate me for it.
culturehandy
*rips phone out of wall*

STOP FUCKING CALLING ME!!!!!!!! I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK, YOUR MOTHERFUCKING CHEQUE WILL BE THERE WHEN IT GETS MOTHERFUCKING THERE. IT'S MONDAY, SO YOUR CHEQUE ISN'T LATE YET!

*Stomps on phone, repeatedly, takes some kerosene and gasoline and dynomite, and runs a line of gun powder far far FAR away. Lights gun powder (ala Bugs Bunny) and happily watches ensuing explosion*

candycane_girl
To my boss and everyone I work with!! (except R, you're awesome) Would it have killed you to write out some kind of rules or guidelines for working at this place! Because everytime I try to do things right, I"m told that I am wrong, wrong, WRONG!! I know damn well that I called you and told you about the students I booked, start listening to me!!! How hard is it to go over a schedule?! Oh, and O, quit booking the fucking students on your own and then whining about your pay discrepancies! It's my job to book your students, that's why I am the secretary!! If it was your job, then you would be secretary. And finally, boss man, quit yelling at me for telling people the truth! What am I supposed to say? Oh yeah, that guy still works her but he just can't give you lessons. No, the truth is, that guy is gone, no longer works here so I will tell the students that I will book them with someone else!!
candycane_girl
Oh, and one more thing!! (sorry, this computer doesn't let me edit entries).

O, stop calling me dear! I am not your fucking dear! I am the secretary at the place where you work. My mom calls me dear, my grandma calls me dear, YOU do not call me dear!!
lilacwine13
*grabs a large fish and goes up to the coworker I call WeenieBoy, and starts hitting him on the head*

Do you fucking see how many of us are in my area? Three. That's right, three, and all of us are busy doing other tasks that the boss--that person who has more authority than YOU--told us took precedent over your meaningless drivel. I could race through what I'm doing, but I feel like I'm doing a half-assed job as it is, and the last thing I want is to get fired because you--not the boss, not the CEO--told me to speed it up. You aren't the only one who works here, you aren't even the person who gives me work most of the time, so shut the hell up about my speed. I do other things here besides what you give me, and if your crap gets delayed because of a more pressing matter, suck it up or do it yourself.

shinyx3
*walks into thread, looks left, looks right, picks up large plumber wrench and takes out plumbers headlights, then windshield*

DO NOT tell a very pregnant woman that you will be here to finish your pluming job which said woman is paying you for and then not show up and not fucking call. Do you get that not only am i hot, tired and frusterated but i am aslo due to have a baby in about two weeks and I do not want to have stinky construction men (ie, dumb plumbers) in my house while i am bleeding and breast feeding. so get the fucking job done already! everyone else is waiting on you lazy ass to finish!

*hands wrench to dumb plumber, spits in dust at dumb plumbers feet, puts hands on hips and waddles back into house*
LoveMyPugs
TOYS IN FUCKING BABELAND!!!

WHY DOES IT TAKE 10 FUCKING MINUTES FOR THE WATERPROOF VIBE PAGE TO LOAD? WHY? I WANT TO UNDERSTAND!

EVERY FUCKING,

EVERY MOTHERFUCKING,

EVERY SINGLE MOTHERFUCKING TIME I GET ON YOUR FUCKING SITE IT'S SOOOOO FUCKING SLOW. WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT SAY TO THE 35 YEAR OLD WOMAN WHO HAS NEVER USED A TOY AND IS BEING BRAVE AND LOOKING ON YOUR SITE FOR INFORMATION AND PRODUCTS TO HELP HER EXPLORE HER SEXUALITY AND JOIN THE REST OF THE WOMEN IN THE WORLD IN THE GREAT JOYS OF ORGASIM WHEN SHE CAN'T GET THE FUCKING PAGE TO LOAD?

I HATE THAT KINDA SHIT. IT'S A PET PEEVE FOR ME I'M SORRY! BUT IT'S BULLSHIT!

FIX IT NOW PLEASE! I SENT A NASTY EMAIL AND I NEEEEEVER SEND NASTY EMAILS BUT I'M SO FRUSTRATED WITH YOUR PAGE.

DOES ANYONE ELSE HAVE THIS PROBLEM?

NOW, RIGHT NOW AFTER WAITING TEN MINUTES I GET A FUCKING PROXY ERROR WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT IS.

FUCK *PICKS UP BAT AND SMASHES COMPUTER SCREEN*

AWFUL SHIT!!!!
culturehandy
*calmly walks into thread and sits down at desk with client sitting across from her*

I have been more than accomodating to you and your useless, junkie moron husband. I have bent over backwards for you. Just because things went my way and not your does not give you the right to verbally abuse me and my voicemail. Now, mistakes happen, and I don't think that you are in any position to tell me how to do my job. you don't do my job. So, how about you shut that fucking trap of yours and stop being Queen of The Cunt People? Bitch you are lucky that things are going the way there are, because if it was going my way, then you wouldn't be getting any support. Go fuck yourself darlin'. You have no idea what you are messing with when you do what you did. I will find the most obscure thing with our policy and fuck you five ways from Sunday. You brought this on entirely yourself, and I told you how things would be. You want to do what you did again, then by all means, but bear in mind that I will do what I have to. I have no problem doing this again.

*has the last laugh and walks away*

P.S. bitch, you do know that I am laughing at your expense! Ha ha.
culturehandy
*walks into thread with cement filled rubber chicken and drags PR behind her by the hair*

Listen to me you dumb fuck. I requeted MY belongings back from you ages ago and you never had the motherfucking courtesy to get back to me. Now you just drop a text and ask the same. Are you a FUCKING IDIOT??? Oh wait, you are a man in his 30's, that makes you about equivilant in maturity to a 12 year old boy.

*smacks with chicken*

FUCK YOU!!! I never want to hear from you again. You can mail my stuff to me, but stay the hell away from me motherfucker.

*punches in face, repeatedly*

Go to hell and good riddance.

*smacks again with chicken, and again. And AGAIN*
culturehandy
*walks into building with lighter fluid and matches*

*lights every last file on fire and watches everything burn*

I fucking hate this job!
LoveMyPugs
"throws algebra/trig II book into the blaze and does little dance*

treehugger

*treehugger stomps into the fitters shop*

"oh, ho, ho....you REALLY think you're SOMETHING, don't you???

*grabs DP by the throat*

You wanna rethink your little, uh....mistake?

What the FUCK are you thinking, putting me on bullshit work? I'd rethink it if I were you. 'cause I'm gonna kick your ASS.

*Slams his head on his desk

Oh, yeah, you got this coming and more. ASSHOLE. You're going to PAY. Big time.

Yeah, you damned well better NOT put me on your new stupid fucked up detail. I. WILL. GET. EVEN.

Come into the fucking tunnel with me, you won't get out. I'll burn your ass like it's never been burned. We'll see who'll win this little game. And...I got a hint for you...you're OLD and SLOW. You couldn't turn a wrench if you WANTED to.

Lazyass. SUCKASS.

*slams his head against the wall for good measure

oooh, watch out when you're crossing the street tomorrow.

What....are you SCARED????????
lilacwine13
*goes up to insurance agent and grabs him by the collar*

It's been almost a month since I filled out the paperwork, I'm getting deducted for health insurance from my paycheck, yet you HAVEN'T ENROLLED ME YET???? What the fuck is wrong with you idiots? I've spoke to my department head TWICE about it, yet I'm still NOT COVERED??? That was one of the reasons why I took this stupid job is BECAUSE of the insurance. And I HATE PAYING FOR STUFF I DON'T HAVE!!

*starts shaking guy*
jami
get this one, ladies...
my ex-to-be was arguing with me outside our home...
and he called me sweetheart.
I felt this calming stregnth all around me
"Sweetheart? You do not call me sweetheart. Never again. That is a word you use too freely nowadays."
I actually saw him take a step backwards as though struck.

freckleface7
= storms in w/ a thick sheaf of papers & slams them down= !

Wells Fargo: what the fuck do you mean I am "not on the application " and you cannot talk to me ?
who's weird name was signed right below the mr's then if it wasn't me?

I am not asking for special treatment, or ok maybe yes I am, if only asking you to be Human and really Hear me when I say " No, my husband can NOT come to the phone right now....... he is busy fighting a goddamned (ok I actually only said that one word in my head) WAR and though I am anxiously waiting, I do not know when I will hear from him again in the future...no he doesn't have EMAIL yet as far as I know.. this is a W _ A _ R and communication is sketchy at best.."

why can't you be a real honest to goodness person and not some unfeeling MACHINE and find someone high enough up that will realise the situation and help me?
I have the goddamned power of attorney that allows me to act AS my husband.
my name IS (despite what you say, bc I was looking at the copy we'd made, unlike you who only had apparently a Big-Red-X on your computer screen) on the Application Forms. but no, none of that is good enough for the soulless papermill and you still insist he call you himself to" authorise the release of information to me."
well DING DING einstein- if he's going to do that- he can get the information we need Him-Self!

= picks up paper sheaf, lights a corner on fire, and then tosses it high into the air as I stomp out slamming the door behind me=
lananans
My housemate is such a child. She has no money, no real job, and constantly complains about money. Even though she has class two days a week and could easily get a good job. Then her mom was bothering her about going to pick up her student loan and all she could do was scream at her mother saying "ARE YOU FUCKING DEAF?! I SLEPT IN! I COULDN'T GO GET IT!" and various other FUCK FUCK FUCK's towards her mother. I am losing all respect for her, seriously. Also, way to be passive aggressive about doing the dishes on her part, making me feel bad, and yet I have been doing both of our dishes for DAYS now, she has done NOTHING! I CAN"T STAND HER!
lananans
Maybe I was being a little harsh. I had an hour long presentation and a three hour midterm today. All I can say is thank god its over, and I'll try to be nicer to my housemate.
kittenb
To the female police officer that I just learned about:

What the hell is wrong with you?! What the fuck kind of power-tripping bitch threatens a juvinile rape victim with jail time?! Do you think that maybe she was too scared to tell you the whole story b/c you were being such a horrible fucking asswipe to her?
I hope you lose your badge. I hope you lose your job! You have no right to breathe the same air as that girl let alone claim to be someone who "protects and serves."
Kiss my ass you piece of trash!
LoveMyPugs
I hate bras and pantyhose. Since I'm forced to wear them in real life I thought I'd take my frustrations out here in this thread.

LADIES, LADIES, LADIES!!

IT'S THE FIRST EVER VIRTUAL BRA AND PANTYHOSE BONFIRE!

*builds little stack of wood, unclasps bra under t-shirt and removes it, pulls pantyhose off and tosses both garments on top of wood, adds lighter fluid, strikes match and sets them ablaze*

*does dance around blaze, boobies flowing free under t-shirt*

Feel free to add anything else that pisses you off to the blaze. We can just make it a WTF bonfire.

*continues dancing*

sassygrrl
** runs over to the co-worker who fucking stole my purse***

sassygrrl
reposting..

**runs over to the bitchy co-worker who fucking stole my money**

YOU EVIL BITCH!! It's my third fucking day, and you stole $6 out from under me! You fucking cunt. I hate you, and your extremely Christian holy-than-thou ways, and that fact that you're a racist and homophobic.

Isn't one of the ten commandents thou shall not steal??

FUCK YOU.

And yes, be worried about your job. I may just take it, due to the fact that you're a lazy piece of shit.

**storms out**



opheliathemuse
To all men under the age of maturity:

WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SO COMMITMENT PHOBIC AND LAME? All you do is realize how fabulous I am and chase me on and off when I am over you. Please, for the LOVE OF SLICED BREAD, GROW UP! Marriage is not a diryt word.
lilacwine13
*sneaks over to department head's office when she's gabbing loudly with a bunch of other annoying coworkers and slams the door shut, then starts nailing boards over it*

Just SHUT UP already. Your laugh is extremely annoying, you gossip way too much and take credit for things you didn't do, you are extremely untrustworthy, and if you need to discuss you goddamn trip, do it over drinks AFTER work. I don't want to go deaf from having my headphones cranked up WAY too loud to drown out your voice. Just BE QUIET or SHUT YOUR DOOR.


*goes back and shoves a bunch of furniture in front of the door, just in case*
culturehandy
I think I'll do this in green, Merry Xmas!

*sneaks up to CD player playing xmas carols, takes sledge hammer out of pants and smashes christmas carol cd to fucking bits*

Okay, I get that people like xmas, I used top work in retail where xmas music got player starting after Hallowe'en, I HATE CAROLS!!!!!!

Bah humbug indeed.
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