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bunnyb
Do you sometimes need to kick the ass out of life when it's kicking you in the ass? Here's the virtual fight club thread: a space for us to pummel the hell out of something when we're angry, pissed off and frustrated at life. I'm working with the visual of a punching bag to kick lumps out of but we can use anything; this is OUR space for physically pounding the keys with our anger, pretending it's the face of whatever/whoever is annoying us most and when we don't necessarily want to articulately vent.

First rule of virtual fight club: there are no rules.

*Props to lovemypugs for the title.
LoveMyPugs
*runs into the room and slams bunny in the face with a frying pan*

Thanks for the props bitch!

LOL just kidding!

This is going to be so much fun. Gotta go Mr. Pugs is home.
bunnyb
Ok I need to pummel the shit out of something because the title is no longer aesthetically pleasing. BLOODY LOUNGE AND ITS FLAWS! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! I hate looking ungrammatical - I'm a literature graduate!

/goes all fight club on the ass of the starting thread gremlin; in fact, make that blood sport on its irritating little ass. *smashes brick against own forehead in aggression*
doodlebug
Oh, this thread = perfect timing.

I am so MAD! I want to KICK SOMETHING! I want to HIT SOMETHING!! I want to SCREAM at the TOP of my LUNGS!

YAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so sick of being sick. I HATE being weak and exhausted all the time. I am so frustrated at losing my independence. I am MAD! I am MAD, MAD, MAD!!!

*notices big heavy boxing bag in the corner and launches self at it*

EEEYYYYYYYAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!

Oof.
girltrouble
*sticks her head in and sees rabid bunny b, runs out screaming*
LoveMyPugs
*runs in and does a round house kick to the punching bag* mad.gif

ARRRRGGGGG - FUCKING TESTS SSSSSUUUUUCCCCKKKKK!

*runs out with bookbag slung over shoulder*

ARRRRGGGG - BEING LATE SUCKS TOO! dry.gif

gotta go yall

*waves goodbye to bunny, doodle and gt* tongue.gif

HAVE A GREAT DAY TODAY BUSTIES!! biggrin.gif
culturehandy
Okay, so I can't view this page at work, but I believe that it contains celebreties as virtual punching bags. Thought it might help!

*scampers out before a frying pan can be thrown at my head*

ETA: FUCKING HUNTERS DESERVE TO DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*changes into safari gear and pyth helmet, takes out bow and arrow thing-y*

stalks around, aha there you are you prick *sees hunter*

*aims bow, and shoots, nails hunter right in his peanut dick*

HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!

Ahhh better now.
lunasol
::runs into room, dragging gmail by its lips, punches gmail::


Die, Gmail, die!!!! This'll show you to go down for an entire day when I have a deadline!!!!

raisingirl
...nothing to see here...
LoveMyPugs
*walks in and punts her diva cup across the room*

AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH blink.gif blink.gif blink.gif

WHO'S THE DIVA NOW BITCH???

*bangs head against wall*

WWWWWWWHHHHHHHYYYYYYYY????????

WTF! Why can’t I get this GOD DAMN thing to work? What’s wrong with me? sad.gif

Hear me Diva Cup!! Are you listening??

I’M NOT GIVING UP GOD DAMN IT! SOONER OR LATER YOU ARE GOING TO FUCKING POP OPEN!!

*bends down and looks at diva cup with intensity* mad.gif

DO…

YOU…

UNDERSTAND…

ME…

CUNTCUP

!!!!!!!?????

*sinister laugh*

I love this room. tongue.gif
bunnyb
enters

picks up wooden chair in corner and throws it so hard against wall that it breaks into a thousand pieces.

picks up one of the pieces off floor and goes Buffy-like staking and kicking the ass out of the punch-bag.

exhausted.

exits
missladyj
I just nominated Ann Coulter for the site that culture handy linked. No need to thank me bitches !
culturehandy
*comes flying into room with a mace*

Looks around for the first inanimate object swings the mace and the shelf breaks into a dozen pieces.

FUCKING TRAFFIC, FUCKING BREAK LIGHT ON FUCKING CAR. FUCKING TUESDAY MORNING. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. WHO WANTS TO FUCK WITH ME TODAY? HUH? HUH?

*finds a rubber chicken, and with the hand with the mace smashes more, smacks things with rubber chicken*

*hits stupid rebounding clown with mace, clown loses air*

take that shit!

happily exits with mace ball dragging behind.
culturehandy
reenters thread, exhausted.

Opens a 2-4 of beer, and starts drinking.

I think we need a virtual drinking thread.
lilacwine13
Drinking sounds good, along with a virtual getting high thread.

*takes a tire iron and smashes the computer on her desk*

Stupid motherfucking cocksucking goddamning fucking management who can't fucking pay attention to fucking shit and refuse to fucking hire more people until it's fucking too goddamn late and decides to fucking wreck everyone's weekends and schedules until the motherfucking end of fucking time. Die, you idiotic shit-for brains. I am fucking sick and tired of you assholes treating everyone who isn't fucking higher than you like shit. YOU FUCKING TREAT PEOPLE LIKE SHIT, YOU GET SHITTY EMPLOYEES, YOU DUMB FUCKS!!! FIGURE IT OUT.

*chucks the tire iron at the radio that's tuned to some talk station*

I FUCKING HATE YOU, YOU MISOGYNIST PIG!!!! Go choke on your own hate and grow a brain, dipshit. I hate having my music cranked up so loud to drown out your IGNORANCE, YOU DUMB FUCK. (Considering your material, I'd say you're more of a lousy fuck.)
LoveMyPugs
*Walks into virtual fight club thread and flops down on the floor in a huff. *

FUCKING DREAMS! LEAVE ME ALONE! I’VE HAD ENOUGH!

*Pulls out bottle of Crown Royal and a shot glass. Starts doing shots, one after another*

MAYBE I CAN DROWN YOU AWAY!

Just wait till I get home tonight because then it’s not going to be “virtual” drinking but the real thing! I’m going to get some rest tonight UNDERSTAND ME FUCKING DREAMS?
_octinoxate
stupid fucking knee brace! Fuck you! I thought you were going to help me get a normal fucking life back and you're just making things worse, you fucking asshole! I hate this bullshit!

and fuck you too, physical therapist! FUCK YOU for not giving a shit about my injury and blowing off my phone calls and being out to lunch when I need you to show me how to use this GODDAMN FUCKING USELESS KNEE BRACE thats making me hurt more. why the fuck haven't you made more of an effort to help me fix things in the past FOUR FUCKING MONTHS THAT I'VE BEEN SEEING YOU?? come up with some better ideas for the 75 dollars an hour i'm paying you, asshole.

and don't just send me to some motherfucking surgeon who doesn't give a shit either, who will just take my money and either a. send me back to you or b. cut my body up and fuck things up more. NOT interested. why don't you just do your fucking job, instead. and stop telling me to fucking be patient. i have been patient for TEN FUCKING MONTHS NOW dealing with all these different motherfucking useless doctors and therapists and i want to be fucking DONE with you all. i am SO OVER THIS BULLSHIT. I WANT A NORMAL FUCKING LIFE AND A HEALTHY FUCKING BODY.

I put so goddamn much time and money into this shit- which reminds me: AN EXTRA SPECIAL FUCK-YOU TO MY INSURANCE COMPANY WHO ISN'T PAYING FOR A CENT OF THIS! Slimy fucks. While I'm on the topic, in fact, another fuck you to the American health care system in general, and the bastard politicians that keep it that way. No one should have to deal with this bullshit.

I would kick all of you upside the head if I could. Instead, expect me to pack a mean punch to all y'alls' temples. You're dead.

Pugs, let's go on a vigilante dream hunt together, girl. I'm sick of the motherfuckers too. The last thing I needed today was to wake up from dreaming about my boyfriend fucking my sister, and me getting in a car accident. Fuckers. Let's get em, Pugs.

on a different note, a big shout out to ice. You rock. Thanks for the pain control. Let's be best friends.
_octinoxate
[saunters back into thread, sees physical therapist lying on the floor where she left him after that vicious punch to the temple. grabs his hair and raises his head up just high enough to growl into his ear:]

and by the way, you dirty bastard, that therapeutic tape i like SO does not cost 80 bucks a roll. It's 14.95 online (where i just ordered some), and you guys get it with a big discount off that. so don't be all stingy with it, and you BETTER help me learn how to use it myself because i don't want to depend on the likes of you-- disinvested, apathetic you-- forever. time for me to take these matters into my own hands.

[lets go of his hair, letting his head drop back to the floor.]
LoveMyPugs
octinoxate -

I feel your pain sweety. I've been having knee problems lately as well. Knee braces don't work for me either. Ice and advil are going to be your new best friends.

I've been lucky. No dreams the last week. I've been too fucking busy with school to think at night. I do so much thinking during the day that my freakin brain is like, "Ooh, it's dark out? That means I can shut down for a while. Yes!!!" It needs to rest and be ready for the next day.

I dreamed once that Mr. Pug got drafted and was sent overseas. That was right after my best friend joined the Airforce. I was pissed even after I woke up.

Good luck honey!
_octinoxate
hey pugs,

glad your dreams have left you in peace for a while! i just woke up from some more of em... they're just these dreams about everything going wrong in my life and me being anxious about it all.

i hope your knees get better. (What do you have? if it's the same as me maybe i could give u some exercises or somethin'.) for me it's just the ice that i'm chummy with, as advil and lexapro don't mix unfortunately.
maddy29
QUOTE
WHO'S THE DIVA NOW BITCH???


aaaaaaaaaah ha ha ha ha!!!!!!! that is hysterical smile.gif

this is a fabu thread! love it. yday my boyfriend was telling me about how bad he wanted to punch this driver who cut him off and then gave him the finger. gotta love boston-someone cuts you off and then gets mad at YOU!

LoveMyPugs
octinoxate -

For being so overweight I am very flexible. The last time I was in physical therapy the guy working on me said that I can hyperextend almost all of my joints. He said I'm going to have joint problems for the rest of my life. The only way I can explain it to you is for example you are sitting down on a chair and put put your heal up on a bench in front of you that is level with the chair. Most people's knees are either up alittle higher or level with their ankle. My knees actually sink down. I have to be very careful when I exercise that I don't lock my knees back in this position because it causes issues. Sometimes when I wake up in the morning I stretch and hyperextend my knee in this way. It's almost always my right knee. I've done it so bad a couple times that fluid builds up above the knee cap. It's very painful going up and down stairs. I tend to take the elevator a lot and I think when people see me age 24 taking the elevator that I'm just fat and lazy. The fat part is true but the lazy part isn't. I just have knee problems is all.

Also, I had a dream last night. It was very strange and I can't remember any of it. Actually, me not being able to remember a dream is very unusual. Well, I gotta go cause I have to go work on Algebra/Trig homework that is due in three hours.

ICE, ICE, GOTTA LOVE ICE! KNEES LOVE IT TOO!
LoveMyPugs
*walks into room and drops Algebra Trigonometry book on the ground, pulls out a can of lighter fluid, douses the book, flicks her zippo and lights that fucker on fire*

I’M NOT DROPPING THIS CLASS! I’M GOING TO PASS THIS FUCKING CLASS! I’M SMART ENOUGH! I CAN DO THIS SHIT!

*walks out swearing under her breath and punches the virtual punching bag once for good measure*

Who the fuck needs or uses imaginary numbers in real life anyway!

FUCK, SHIT, ASS, CUNT, BITCH!

FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!!!
missladyj
LMP,
You will pass this class ! Soh Cah Toa baby! thats really all you need to remember for trig!

here have one of these delicious dirty martinis I am enjoying right now cuz it cocktail hour at my house! then meet me later in the inebriated ramblings thread. I think one of these bad boys is about all I can handle.
LoveMyPugs
*walks in and lunges at punching bag, pounds her fists into it while screaming*

I HATE ALGEBRA/TRIGANOMETRY! WHEN ARE YOU EVER GOING TO NEED SYNTHETIC DIVISION IN REAL FUCKING LIFE!

NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER!

I HATE AVRIL LAVINE! SHE’S A TRADER TO SKATERS EVERYWHERE! SHE IS FOR DAMN SURE NOT THE MOTHERFUCKING PRINCESS! SHE JUST GOT MARRIED SO WHY THE HELL IS SHE SINGING ABOUT TAKING SOMEONE’S MAN AWAY FROM THEM.

I HATE THE BITCH SITTING NEXT TO ME WHO KEEPS BUMPING ME WITH HER HUGE, OVERSTUFFED, FAKE LOUIS VUITTON BAG. I SWEAR TO GOD I’M GOING TO KNOCK YOU THE FUCK OUT BITCH!

*exhausted and out of breath, walking slowly out of the room trying to compose herself*
ginger_kitty
*walks in seemingly calmly then tosses plates at the wall*

I hate a lot of stuff, and in general don't understand why people behave the way they do, or think they way to do. And not understanding really pisses me off sometimes. I hate feeling like I am getting stepped on, while others undeservingly cruise through life.

GRRRRRRRR!!!!! *Screams*

*punches the door on the way out*
ginger_kitty
*runs in throws a vase on the floor*

What I am mad about isn't worth fussing over to much, today but I am still irked.
fistful_of_violets
*peeks in doorway, left, then right. scavenges for broken pieces of the vase & makes the shards into a collage to sell on ebay. can't get it to look right, flings finished project out window like a frisbee and self-loathes for at least three days and part of the weekend, too. geesh.*
janeinane
*stomps in, picks up big ceramic platter, busts it on forehead, throws and jumps up & down on the shards*

$^&#%-=^$%@ BOARD MEETINGS! THROW BREAK SNARL!


*exhales. saunters out.*
Sststststutter
*sitting quietly on my bed, the heat rises from behind my ribcage until it reaches my ears, bursts through, and engulphs me in flames*

i am so tired of my roommates' bullshit. so f'ing tired.
kari
*enters swinging nunchucks*

I am one pissed off bitch today. Everything is fucking pissing me off. Work is boring as hell. I slept horribly last night. My dear husband isn't helping me do shit around the house, even though I also work full-time and go to school. My other family members didn't feel like contributing to our restaurant bill last night I guess, leaving me to pay the bulk of it. Gee, thanks bitches. My bank account is hurting as it is. If I don't get my fucking period today so this PMS goes away, I'm gonna crack someone's skull with these nunchucks. And I'm not kidding.


(can I just say this is the most hilarious thread ever??? these posts have cracked me up to the point of tears, thanks, busties. That's just what I needed on this shitteous day.)


culturehandy


*rips phone from wall*

STOP FUCKING CALLING ME!!!!!!!!!! Throws phone on floor, takes mace and swings it on work phone and smashed it into a dozen pieces.

Grabs clients who keep on calling by the collar. "Listen to me, I don't have fucking control over the post or banking, stop calling me 8 thousand times to fucking ask 'where's my cheque, where's my cheque'. FUCK YOU!

*continues to jump up on down what is left of phone*

*satisfied, takes out vapourizer and starts smoking to calm down*
skinwithoutscars
*blazes in, smacks self on head with frying pan, hurls frying pan at the wall, frisbee style*

GAH!!! FUCKING HOMEWORK!! I AM THISCLOSE TO FINISHING MY FUCKING COLLEGE EDUCATION AND ALL THAT STANDS BETWEEN ME AND VICTORY ARE A COUPLE DOZEN PAGES TO WRITE!!


AAAAAIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!

*flying kick. karate-chops board in half on way out, just for good measure.*
LoveMyPugs
*walks in carrying pillow, walks up to big bed in the middle of the room, assumes a pillow fight ass kicking stance, begins to beat the bed with the pillow while screaming*

MR PUG! IF YOU DON'T STOP SNORING AND LET ME GET SOME FUCKING SLEEP TONIGHT I'M GOING TO SMOTHER YOU IN YOUR SLEEP!

*takes one last swing and the pillow rips sending a poof of feathers everywhere. flings the empty pillow case across the room in frustration*

THAT GOES FOR YOU TWO PUGS AS WELL PINKY & SHELBY! DO WE REALLY NEED A SYMPHONY OF SNORING ALL FUCKING NIGHT LONG? SNORE (RYAN) SNORE (SHELBY) SNORE, SNORE (PINKY) SNORE (SHELBY) SNOOOOOORE (SHELBY, RYAN & PINKY).

*spits out feathers collecting around her mouth*

I'm sleeping in the other room tonight.

*walks quickly out of the room kicking feathers as she goes*
skinwithoutscars
awesome post, pugs. ahem.

*stomps in to office-type setting, slams knife through secretarial phone, hurls knifed phone against wall.*

FINE THEN, DON'T HIRE ME, FUCKERS. I DIDN'T REALLY WANT TO SLING MAIL FOR A YEAR ANYWAY.

*calls in friend to tag the walls with graffiti. lights some meaningless office paper on fire.*

okay, i'll paint over the graffiti, because i respect the work you guys do, but i'm still REALLY MAD.

*stomps out, kicking the door hard enough to make a boot-shaped hole, then slams it so hard behind her it bounces off its frame.*
DaisyJane
*Quiety walks in with a slight twitch in her eye. Looks around and finds the source of the music. Picks up coworkers computer and throws it at the nearest student. Takes a tape dispenser to the moniter so all the sand flies out and gets in the other coworkers eyes*

WHAT THE FUCK?!? IS THIS FROM YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE OR SOMETHING? DO YOU REALLY HAVE TO PLAY THE SAME 4 MINUTE CLASSICAL MUSIC PIECE OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER!?! YES, WE GET IT! SAD MUSIC! AND YOU LOOK SOOOOO MUCH SMARTER BECAUSE YOU ONLY LISTEN TO CLASSICAL MUSIC. YOU TECHNICALLY DONT EVEN 'LISTEN' TO CLASSICAL MUSIC CAUSE YOU CAN ONLY PLAY THE SAME FUCKING PIECE OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


*kicks the broken computer again for good measure....*
Arcadia
*Storms into her father's house, making sure to slam the door extra hard behind her. Throws off her shoes, throws her purse through the hallway so hard it hits the opposite wall. Slams through the double French doors to make her way through the dining room and her step-mother's sitting room, and then slams through the final set of French doors and into her brother's bedroom. Grabs her brother by the collar of his shirt, even if he towers above her by eight inches. Starts screaming.*

YOU GODDAMN LAZY SON OF A BITCH! IF YOU DON'T START WORKING AROUND THIS HOUSE AND STOP SITTING ON YOUR FUCKING FAT ASS I AM GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE NECK SO HARD I'LL BE ABLE TO WRAP MY FINGERS AROUND YOUR JUGULAR! I DO NOT GO TO WORK ALL DAY AND WORK MY ASS OFF JUST SO I CAN COME HOME AND DO ALL THE WORK YOU WON'T DO! YOU'RE 26 YEARS OLD! MOVE THE FUCK OUT AND GET A REAL JOB YOU WANKER!

*Throws her brother on the floor and kicks him in the ribs. Leaves the room, runs up the stairs and into her step-mother's bedroom, busting the door from its hinges*

I'M NOT YOUR SLAVE! MY REAL NAME ISN'T CINDERELLA! I'M NOT DOING THE WORK FOR YOUR SON THE SLOTH ANY LONGER! IF YOU CALL MY NAME TO DO ONE MORE THING FOR YOU YOU'LL REGRET IT! AND OH, MY FATHER ISN'T A SERVANT, HE'S YOUR "HUSBAND" SO START TREATING HIM LIKE ONE YOU STUPID COW! IF I HEAR YOU CALLING HIM TO DO SOMETHING FOR YOU THAT YOU COULD DO YOURSELF THERE WILL BE MORE SCREAMING, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!

*Kicks the door to the room on her way out, still screaming.*
lilacwine13
*grabs the nearest IT guy from her work*

Why in the fucking hell did you install Mozilla, but NOT install the Flash Player for it? I don't have the damn access code for it, and do you know how FRUSTRATING it is to visit a site and not have anything work on it, then in order to view it I have to START UP EXPLORER? FIX IT!!!

(Oh, and NONE, I repeat NONE of the programs I need to do this STUPID JOB run on Mozilla in the first place. FIX THAT TOO!!!)

*throws the computer across the room, then storms out, looking for a bottle of wine and a joint*
miserywithcompany
In my mind I bitchslap over and over the office witch at work who always orders everyone around like she's our dictator. Today if she had not already left for the day I may have made fantasy reality after she text my boss to say I yelled at her. What gall she has to say I yelled at her. I didn't- but I assure she would KNOW if I did. She can bark at everyone everyday but cant take anything in return. What a twit. SMACK!
culturehandy
*quietly walks over to coworkers desk and smiles nicely and innocently*

*takes chord of computer, which is playing shitty, whiney, vibrato fuck shit music, and yanks it out of the wall*

silence.

*walks away*
roseviolet
[grabs mystery mortgage broker by the shoulders & shakes violently]
WHY
WON'T
YOU
RETURN
MY
CALLS?!?!?!?!??!
!!!!??!!!!??????!!!!!

I'm trying to give you HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS of dollars worth of business, but you won't return any of my fucking calls and e-mails!!!!! WHY?!?!?!?!??


I am so damn depressed and angered by the idiots that work in mortgage banking. I saw them first-hand at my old job and now I'm at their fucking mercy.
JUST
CALL
ME
BAAAAAAACK!
Christ!!!
culturehandy
walks up to Navy Boy, hidden behond back is dead trout*

*smack Navy Boy with Fish*

Dude, what in the mother fucking hell is going on???? Gaaa, you tell me you want to do this ongoing, then you play hard to get? JUST BE HONEST WITH ME!!!!

*smacks with trout again, just for good measure*

*walks out*
DaisyJane
*hurls mini milk container at the wall.*

NO WONDER OUR NATION IS FILL OF FAT LITTLE FUCKING KIDS!!!!
I WOKE UP AT 7:12 AND NEED TO LEAVE MY HOUSE BY 7:20. SO NO TIME TO EAT. I DECIDE TO EAT AT THE SCHOOL AND I ASSUMED THEY WOULD HAVE FRUIT OR BAGELS OR EGGS OR SOMETHING MILDLY HEALTHY.

NO. WHAT ARE THEY FEEDING THE KIDS IN THE MORNING??

A MOTHER FUCKING CHURRO AND CHOCOLATE MILK!!!! THAT IS MY BREAKFAST?!? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU EXPECT THESE KIDS TO DO WHEN THEY ARE STUFFING THEIR FACES WITH FRIED DOUGH FOR BREAKFAST AND PIZZA ROLLS AT LUNCH!!


AHHHHHH

skinwithoutscars
ch, i love that you just hit a man with a fish.

*quietly, stealthily builds a rough pyramid of books and papers in the middle of dorm room floor*
*pulls out lighter fluid, douses pile*
*pulls out lighter*

so long, college.

*flick*
culturehandy
Skin, feel free to use the fish whenever. I am also fond of smacking with a rubber chicken.
kelkello
I've always been a fan of the punch in the neck, but hitting a man with a trout seems like a mighty fine idea. *picks up a large-ish trout and feels it for heft...*
mouse
AAAAAAGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

my grandmother, who never took any interest in me until i was about 19, CONSTANTLY sends me shitty email forwards. dogs in halloween costumes, obviously photoshopped bullshit, "heartwarming" stories of encounters with "real life angels", and shit reminiscing about the good old days when kids weren't brats and technology hadn't ruined everything and given us bad manners and disrespect for life (HELLO? YOU'RE EMAILING ME!!!). i get like two or three a day of these. she never even adds a little personal note or anything, it's just mass forwarding. sometimes i'll get an email from her that's like "gee, i haven't heard from you in a while..." like i'm expected to respond to the three junk emails a day i get from her with nothing relevant or personal to me in them. i don't understand how the older generation doesn't get that indiscriminately forwarding crap is totally rude and disrespectful, not to mention HELL OF ANNOYING, especially when it does things like mangle quotes from jay leno (A BAD COMEDIAN, PEOPLE) like "with 9/11, earthquakes and hurricanes, is it really a time to take "god" out of the pledge of allegiance?" and then some pithy republican-tinged blurb about how right he is (IT WAS A JOKE, HE IS NOT ANYONE TO TAKE SERIOUSLY). BUT i just got one now that is THE WORST, because after all the bullshit there is this:

"Chinese Proverb:
"When someone shares something of value with you and you
benefit from it, you have a moral obligation to share it with others.""

NO. when someone shares a piece of shit email forward with you, you have a moral obligation TO STOP THE HELL AND NOT PASS IT ON. SHITTY ANNOYING EMAIL FORWARDS YOUR LIBERAL GRANDDAUGHTER WHO YOU DIDN'T EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE EXISTED FOR THE FIRST TWO DECADES OF HER LIFE IS GOING TO BE PISSED OFF BY ARE NOT ANYTHING OF VALUE!!!!!!!!! STOP IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
culturehandy
*walks upto Navy Boy with fish, again*

MOTHERFUCKER! You have the nerve, the audacity to even suggest that I have a problem with drugs. You drink EVERY DAY! You told me you spend $120.00 daily on booze. I have the problem!????? That's like the pot calling the kettle black!

*smacks with tuna*

Why on earth would you even say that???

*smacks again*

Then you say that I'm not good in bed??? What are we 15??? You're 30! GROW UP LOSER!!!! Besides, the other one, the 37 year old with waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more experience then you thinks I'm great, so stop being such a cock sucking baby. You dish it but you can't recieve it. FUCK YOU!!!!!!

*hits with rubber chicken*

Yup mother fucker, no idea what your missing out on. Go hang with your loser friends and NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN!

*hits with glove full of bricks just because*

DaisyJane
Wow culture, sorry about yours....

**walks in with a knitting needle, a cross stitch ring, some glue, stickers, crochet hook, yarn, drop spindle and undyed wool. Throws it all up in the air and lets it land all around.**

There. I fucking like it this way. Deal with it.

**Digs in pocket and pulls out some glitter and tosses it up for good measure. ***
culturehandy
*comes into thread and sees the glittery mess that daisy left, smiles sheepishly*

*strips off clothes and rolls around nekid in glitter*

Hey asshat, I smoke weed, that's all, twice a week. Bite me fucker. I just had Boy 2 tell me that I was fantastic in bed. so THERE!

*blows a big puff of smoke in navy boy's face* bite me mofo!

*laughs hysterically while rolling in glitter*

Daisy it's all good now!
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