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Pixie
QUOTE(opheliathemuse @ Feb 14 2008, 02:38 AM) *
I am secretly torn by the desire to keep house and to become an established literary personality.


I want to have a beautiful house and beautiful children and write books.

I'm with LMP- I want to bake in the kitchen barefoot with a baby hanging off my hip.
*grin* And have a house that smells permanantly of cake.

Oh dear now I'm getting all excited about this...


edie52
Yeah, despite what I said, I like flipping through the glossies too- Cosmo's just a little too sickening for me... I'm more of a sucker for Vogue and the like. That's a different category.

Confession: I'm jealous of women with babies even though I'm not near ready for one and don't even know if I want one... must be biological.
freckleface7
QUOTE(Pixie @ Feb 25 2008, 11:15 AM) *
I want to have a beautiful house and beautiful children and write books.

I'm with LMP- I want to bake in the kitchen barefoot with a baby hanging off my hip.
*grin* And have a house that smells permanantly of cake.

Oh dear now I'm getting all excited about this...

ok I don't mean to be a downer here but, um,
have any of you actually tried baking when you have a baby literally attatched to your hip?
to your boob. pulling your earrings out of your earlobes. grabbing and then dropping everything you lean over to pick up to bake with? trying to place a newly mixed anything inside a hot stove while holding on to said babe without buring them in the process?
I'm sorry, I know I'm being a real fantasy smasher, but the reality is not quite the quainte image of hominess, or at least it wasn't for me anyway but I am ALL FOR any house that smells like
CAKE ! laugh.gif

I am wanting to get ceramic nails again, even though I know it is shallow; they are just so pretty & I can never come close to making my own look that good, even when I grow them out.
Pixie
Thats a good point actually. I had forgotten how impractical babies are as accessories.
So, baking barefoot with a baby nearby in a high chair not trying to climb out or do anything irritating...on second thoughts maybe I'll just get a doll?
hmmm this whole image is falling apart now....

Maybe baby sleeping nicely while I bake so that it looks cute and does not get in the way? (yea i know she/he would most probably wake up at the most inconvenient moment)
culturehandy
back to the cosmo bit, it also used to be my bible. You want to blow his mind? Take it up the ass.

Sorry, I really couldn't resist.

I'd love to have a house that smelled like baking all the time!!!! Or some yummy food. With that said, I don't think that enjoying cooking is unfeminist. What if I just really like good food?

dusty
I've said this before and I'm not sure I'm very good about articulating it: I think that if you prescribe to the theory that the sexual revolution was all about making women for accessible to men, and not about the women at all, then Cosmo is your Bible and HGB your enabler.

Or pimp.
culturehandy
Dusty, that is so true. Why can't this stuff be about, how to have the greatest sex for yourself?? Why is it always about blowing his mind and making sure it's all about him? Should you be doing these things because you want to and because you genuinely enjoy it?

Playboy is more stimulating than cosmo. In my opinion...
nickclick
liking to cook isn't unfeminist if you're doing it because you enjoy it, not because you are simply agreeing to fulfill your womanly duties. same thing with liking sex!
culturehandy
Some people just get so angry at the particarchy that they loose site of what's really important. I remember telling someone who was also a member of the Womyn's centre that I shaved my cooch. She went into this rant about how it's playing up to nothing more than a male fantasy. and I told her I did it because it enhanced my sexuality and it made sex very good for me, whether I was having partner or self loving, and doing things for yourself and enjoyment, taking control, isn't that also about being a feminist?

Anyways, sorry about the hijack.
kittenb
There are just too many quotes here that made me laugh or feel good today so I just wanted to thank everyone in this thread.

I hate shaving my legs but I love the way that they feel when I've shaved them.
sexysandee
I like when guys do things for me, I love for them to open the car door for me and stand up when I get up to leave the table... it makes me feel special rolleyes.gif
hellotampon
I enjoy cleaning the house all day while my boyfriend's at work and having dinner ready and something baking in the oven when he gets home. It hardly ever happens because we're both crazy busy all the time, and I think it's mostly because I like having a clean house, and cleaning by myself is kind of meditative for me, but I never got the same thing out of doing it for my mom.
kinkaju
Hehe I get the same way. Sometimes I just start cleaning and kind of zone out and it's not like this horrible chore but just kind of (dare I say) therapeutic?
crinoline
QUOTE
I enjoy cleaning the house all day while my boyfriend's at work and having dinner ready and something baking in the oven when he gets home.


I get an unholy Susie Homemaker thrill when I manage to time everything perfectly so that dinner is on the table exactly when he gets home.
My apartment actually does smell like cake all the time due to some amazing candles .

I also enjoy (gasp) romance novels.
culturehandy
Oh trashy romance!

deschatsrouge
Me too, a trashy romance novel is the perfect compliment to a sunny summer Sunday.
anarch
Flirting. Oh, my cod, with the right guy, yes yes yes.
hellotampon
For me I think it's more about what I DON'T like that makes me feel like a guilty feminist.

Cars, machines, technology, sports, video games, math, beer... all stuff that I either actively dislike or have no interest in!
nickclick
sports, bleah.

planning a wedding! and looking at pictures of pretty wedding dresses.
edie52
Nickclick, sooo many great dresses on that page. The 1st one in the 2nd row and the 1st one in the 4th row are both gorgeous, for shorter ones. Are you wearing white? Long or short? I think picking out a vintage dress as a wedding dress would be so much fun; picking out a traditional dress at a bridal shop would be a nightmare.
quink
Bond movies and Bond girls. My boyfriend thinks I'm mad - I swear he's more of a feminist that I am...
neurotic.nelly
Marilyn Monroe...a lot! I've never acknowledged this before.
hellotampon
my pink collar job
kittenb
Sometimes I fantasize about getting lyposuction so that I could, for once, know what I look like with a flat stomach.
geekchickknits
I didn't really have confidence that I was beautiful until this year when I was working in a dominantly male environment, and ALL of them (except my married boss) hit on me constantly and told me how beautiful I was every time they saw me.
girltrouble
QUOTE
Bond movies and Bond girls. My boyfriend thinks I'm mad - I swear he's more of a feminist that I am...
my ex gf LOOOOOOOOVES bond movies, any time we'd see a preview for one in a movie theatre she would lose it. she'd pump her fist in the air and scream "yeah!" and no matter how good the movie was we saw, she'd talk about the new bond preview for hours after the movie ended. she was way more of a dood than me, we talk and now she's like have you seen this cage match or that ifc fight?

i love her for it. i brag about how she's going to be on the mui thai kickboxing circuit.
thirtiesgirl
dwarf wrestling

I'm sorry, but it makes me giggle.
bustygirl
The words "retarded" and "faggot". Not what they mean, mind you, or the fact that they've been used to discriminate against people. Just the pure, scattershot, physical sound of them. Something about the staccato immediacy of them is just fun to say.

Can we change the meanings? Maybe retarded can be amended to mean "People who answer their cell phones in movies", and faggot can be changed to "people who drive Hummers".

Dwarf wrestling makes me giggle, too.
tankgirl
I also really love the words "retarded"and "faggot." When I used to live with my parents, my dad gave me hell for saying "retarded" a lot, but I only say it because I really love how that word sounds to say. I really just like calling myself a "faggot" though.


pollystyrene
Yeah, I say "retarded" too much. I guess I justify it along the same lines as someone here justified the recent popularity of calling someone a "douchebag"- is it sexist? Well, a douche is something that causes harm to women's bodies and only men would think women are supposed to smell that way, so douches are bad, therefore we should use it as an insult. I know it's a stretch, but isn't being retarded a bad thing? I guess the difference is that people who are "retarded" are born that way...but it's such an inaccurate, outdated term for the people it's usually referring to anyway. And saying something is retarded, in a serious manner, not a pejorative one isn't always referring to people with mental disabilities- sometimes it just means something that causes hindrance. When I use it, I'm not usually referring to a person, usually a thing or idea. I could I dunno....I should probably just stop saying it and use "douche" more often tongue.gif

Faggot is still sort of taboo for me. Like the n-word, I don't have a problem with people "re-claiming" the word and referring to themselves and their own with it....I'm just not comfortable using it myself (unless I'm imitating ignorant rednecks in the privacy of my own home!)
anna k
I like listening to the Opie and Anthony show when I'm getting ready in the morning. It's cheesy, says blatantly offensive things, the guys call women "broads," and it reminds me of a construction crew talking shit about stuff, but I like listening to it anyway.
crinoline
QUOTE(pollystyrene @ Sep 18 2008, 10:51 PM) *
Yeah, I say "retarded" too much. I guess I justify it along the same lines as someone here justified the recent popularity of calling someone a "douchebag"- is it sexist? Well, a douche is something that causes harm to women's bodies and only men would think women are supposed to smell that way, so douches are bad, therefore we should use it as an insult. I know it's a stretch, but isn't being retarded a bad thing? I guess the difference is that people who are "retarded" are born that way...but it's such an inaccurate, outdated term for the people it's usually referring to anyway. And saying something is retarded, in a serious manner, not a pejorative one isn't always referring to people with mental disabilities- sometimes it just means something that causes hindrance. When I use it, I'm not usually referring to a person, usually a thing or idea. I could I dunno....I should probably just stop saying it and use "douche" more often tongue.gif

Faggot is still sort of taboo for me. Like the n-word, I don't have a problem with people "re-claiming" the word and referring to themselves and their own with it....I'm just not comfortable using it myself (unless I'm imitating ignorant rednecks in the privacy of my own home!)


"retarded" is a term I'm doing my darndest to eradicate from my vocabulary, especially since I started working with children with developmental disabilities. I'm not sure why, but your sentence "isn't being retarded a bad thing?" bothered me. All of the children I've worked with with mental disabilities have been wonderful people, and I don't think that they would be better people if they weren't "retarded".
I think I dislike the term (as hard as it is not to use it in our culture) because it can't be "re-claimed" by the population it refers to. So for them, it will always be pejorative. ...anyway, maybe I'm being to sensitive...

Something that is hard for me to stop doing is saying "gay". As in, "Hey do you want to play WiiGolf?" - "Nah, that's gay, lets do something else". So for some reason gay has become a word for "stupid". And sometimes when I say it I'll add the qualifier "And I don't mean the good kind of gay either" (referring to homosexuals). It is really hard to stop saying it! Especially since I live with two guys. I'm trying, though....

anna k - I love to be called "broad" or "dame" - they seem so old-timey (and waaaay better than "bitch")
auralpoison
I will likely never stop using the word "retarded". When I say "retarded", I don't mean the developmentally disabled. I am talking about the people with IQs over 100 that should fucking know better.

Honestly, I think the developmentally disabled are some of the smartest fucking people on earth. They care about what's *important*. They love their families & friends, if they work they give 100% to do the best job they can. And they're the most *honest* & guileless of us all. Mad RESPECK!

To this day I cherish my friendship with Jerry, a guy that I rode the bus with everyday. It was a half hour trip, he got on at the stop after mine. He worked at the ARC. Usually the bus sucks, but I really looked forward to talking to him. As someone with a supposedly "high" IQ (I pretty much think they're, well, retarded.), he left me in the dust. Cripes, I learned so much from that guy in the six months we rode together. His approach to everything was honest, straightforward, & practical. No bullshit, if you will, but he didn't like the swearing. The last time I saw him he'd just been to the eye doctor & was embarrassed that he had to wear the paper sunglasses because I had on my dope-ass Ray Bans & Jerry thought I was pretty neat. I got a huge melon, so the shades were men's & I was like, fuck it. Take my shades, dude. I'd never seen anybody so happy in their life. He was too cool for school wearing them, while I looked like a cop. He took such joy in such a simple thing as sunglasses. I like to think he still wears them.

Damn, but I do miss that guy. I never got to say goodbye. I hope he's well & kicking ass at the ARC.

I guess I've never thought of the social implications of "douchebag". I think douching is intrinsically wrong, my Britney stays healthy as long as I treat her good. I've never even had a yeast infection or STD, my heart goes out to our poor BV sisters that struggle. They did no wrong, yet they suffer. Maybe it's because douchebags can also be used as enema bags or in my home, a hot water bottle? In social parlance, I stay away from douchebags, but on a cold night I love the warmth that warm red rubber can provide.
pollystyrene
No, I don't think you're being sensitive, I think I am wrong for saying it's a bad thing. It drives me crazy when people use "gay" as a pejorative and they have as much choice about being gay as retarded people have about being retarded. When you point it out in that context, I realize how much it's true. And you're right- the people who "retarded" literally refers to are great people.

But bustygirl is right- there's something about the sound of the word that's really satisfying to say. Sort of like "cocksucker"- it's not a word I habitually use, but it sort of has the same effect.

It's interesting where these words come from though. A few years ago, I realized where "gypped" comes from. As in, "I got gypped on the price of that car!" Although, I have to say, the gypsies I've had experiences in my life pretty much lived up to the stereotypes about them (we had neighbors who were gypsies) but the more I've learned about it, it is a really interesting culture and I don't think all of them would steal vegetables out of gardens or siphon gas from cars.

And I've ripped people a new one for using "jew" or "jewed" in a similar way, so I made a conscious decision to not use "gyp"/"gypped" anymore .

auralpoison
Ohmigod, "Jew". There are no people of the faith where I live. YET, my cousin's nickname is "Jimmy the Jew". I get surly as a motherfucker at that. I have asked them why they call him that, they just say, "Uh, cause he's a Jew." They can't define it. These are people that haven't even met a Jew & don't know the stereotypes associated with it. They just latched onto the word & made it a negative. I went to school with a guy from here that described anything he thought was lame as being "Jewish". It would get my draws all in a bunch & I'd yell at him because it just wasn't cool.
thirtiesgirl
I get that all the time from the kids I work with at school. Everything they dislike, think is stupid or weird is "gay." I won't tolerate them using that word. If they think something's stupid, they should just say it's stupid. The thing is, they're not yet old enough to process the idea that even if they're not trying to be offensive by using the word gay, the fact that they've appropriated it to describe things they dislike is offensive. It's taking a word that describes someone sexual orientation and attaching it to something that's a negative for them. But try to have that discussion with a 12 year old boy and it just goes over his head.
deschatsrouge
QUOTE(crinoline @ Sep 20 2008, 03:03 PM) *
I think I dislike the term (as hard as it is not to use it in our culture) because it can't be "re-claimed" by the population it refers to. So for them, it will always be pejorative. ...anyway, maybe I'm being to sensitive...


I frequently refer to myself as a Fag. I always capitalize it when I use it in writing, as a way to reclaim it. I don't say Faggot though, it harshes my Chi.
ellenevenstar
My school students use 'gay' all the time but seldom without me pulling them up on it.
I try to make the same point as thirtiesgirl - my students are 15-17 so they usually get it. When I'm feeling lazy, though, I ask them "please explain to me how a stapler (or whatever) could be gay." - because they can't.

I'm a feminist but and I like ... getting glammed up in dress, heels and make up on the approximately four occasions per year that I do! I like it when I am on school holidays and I can actually do the housework and cook nice meals and sometimes even iron shirts for my partner who has been working all day while I've been watching TV, making craft projects and lurking in the BUST Lounge! I like looking forward to our wedding and starting our family!
treehugger
On the "gay" phrase...what do y'all think of the use of "gay" as an admiration sort of thing? Bill Maher uses the term quite a bit to mean, I've interpreted it is, a man who admires something. As in, he'll say, "I'm so gay for Obama". Or he also uses the term for other things...like "he is gay for soccer" or something like that.

I don't particularly view it as offensive, but my boyfriend says he thinks it could be. Thoughts?
crinoline
I don't know, treehugger. My boy and I use it that way as well. I'll do something cute and he'll look at me and say "I'm completely gay for you". It doesn't make me feel guilty when we use it that way as opposed to the "stupid" way.
It's a strange vocabulary that seems to be generational. Like, people a few years ahead of me down to my teenage brother's age use it.
pollystyrene
I don't think it's offensive, necessarily. I think it would get annoying before it would get offensive. Like someone who says "If I were gay, I'd totally date Johnny Depp." I think that would create a "lady doth protest too much" situation.

Or just having to qualify any statement of adoration you make for someone of the same sex. Like teenage girls and the "LYLAS" thing (Love You Like A Sister)...why can't you just tell your friend you love them?

I guess it just tells you more about people's insecurities than actually being offensive in and of itself.
deschatsrouge
QUOTE(treehugger @ Sep 23 2008, 09:46 AM) *
On the "gay" phrase...what do y'all think of the use of "gay" as an admiration sort of thing? Bill Maher uses the term quite a bit to mean, I've interpreted it is, a man who admires something. As in, he'll say, "I'm so gay for Obama". Or he also uses the term for other things...like "he is gay for soccer" or something like that.

I don't particularly view it as offensive, but my boyfriend says he thinks it could be. Thoughts?


I think it's cute and funny when a straight guy says he's gay for something, even if it's ice cream. It puts funny images in my head.

*goes off to think about Bill Maher going gay for Obama*
mornington
then again, how do you feel about "gay" being used as a pejorative by gay people? I try not to use "gay", but I know I do; several of my gay friends use it pretty liberally, both in a negative and positive way ("I'm so gay for ice-cream"). I've also seen the pejorative form written differently - "ghey" seems to be the most common.

That said, our uni's LBGT society handed out badges saying "homophobia is gay".
crinoline
I want that badge
treehugger
So do I, crino!!!
freckleface7
* disclaimer: not by any stretch do I intend the following statement to imply that I think I am drop dead beautiful, least I come across as an egomaniac.
that said,
sometimes I get a kick out of feeling like I live up to the jerky male spoken statement of
' all the pretty ones are crazy.'

freckleface7
I have very conflicting feelings about the word 'bitch.'
like- if a man says it about a woman, or Maud Help Him calls ME that- I go psycho harry carry on him, but yet I know I have called other women that in a smiliarly callous way too. like when I am driving and a woman driver cuts me off I may be inclined to say under my breath 'stupid bitch' which makes me very guilty of the same.. what's the word... ______ type of behavior I cannot tolerate from men. devaluing. derogatory. LESS THAN.

I know the word bitch can also be very empowering too, but that's a totally different meaning and I realise tonight I need to get my shit together in this way bc it is NOT O K.
thirtiesgirl
As someone once said to me, a bitch is a woman who gets what she wants. I try to look at it that way when the word is used on me (I live in LA; annoy someone on the freeway or in a parking lot and that epithet is hurled out of a lot of car windows). That said, though, I still have issues with the word. Like you, freckle, I despise the connotations of 'less than' that seem to accompany it, even if someone just shouts 'bitch' out a car window. There always seems to be an implied 'stupid' or 'angry' in front of the word, even if it's not said. Like I'm "just a" stupid/angry bitch and there's no other explanation for my actions. Right.
deschatsrouge
I use the term bitch to refer to tasty carbs I will be eating. I like my donut to know who's boss. So I call my donut my bitch.
LustfullyPink
<Threadjack>

I have a shirt that says "Homophobia is Gay" in rainbow letters and I wear it around my college in the bible belt frequently. I also have a shirt that says "My Girl" and it's got a picture of my gay boyfriend underneath the phrase. I love it.

</Threadjack>
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