May 14 2007, 06:42 PM
I wasn't too sure what an orgy lamp was, but it looked like a lava lamp.
May 14 2007, 07:05 PM
Only instead of lava, it had little figures of people in every imaginable sexual position floating in the eerie blue glow.
May 14 2007, 07:36 PM
As I peered closer at the figures, mentally adding up positions I had already tried (42), I realized that the blue glow wasn't coming from the lamp at all, but from a strangely familiar skull floating mid-air behind the lamp!
May 14 2007, 07:41 PM
Tempted to get Shakespearean, I shook off the urge to quote Hamlet and peered into the eyesockets of the skull, wondering if it was following me or I was following it.
May 14 2007, 07:43 PM
But, before I could finish that thought, the blue floating skull opened it's mouth and...
May 14 2007, 07:45 PM
May 14 2007, 07:57 PM
"Geez," I said, "eat much garlic?"
May 14 2007, 09:09 PM
"Pardon moi", said the skull in a heavy french accent, "but i must know, what have you done with my EZ cheese, it was for my bagette."
May 15 2007, 06:43 AM
Uh oh, how was I going to tell skull-y that his ez cheese was involved in my weird bondage deal.
May 15 2007, 07:09 AM
I look about for a distractionso i don't have to tell him and i notice another set of curtain.
May 15 2007, 08:20 AM
These are some curtains, huh? I say to skull-y
May 15 2007, 08:37 AM
"Hmm," he sniffed in a very French way, "I have zeen better on Top Design."
May 15 2007, 08:39 AM
Clearly the distraction wasn't working, "Listen skully, I have to tell you what really happened with your Ez cheese..."
May 15 2007, 10:20 AM
But just as I was about to reveal the embarrasing details of the dairy whereabouts, the ground beneath my feet started to rumble...
May 15 2007, 11:52 AM
And out of the ground popped...
May 15 2007, 12:15 PM
wow! an eight foot can of ez cheese, in the extra sharp cheddar flavor that all blue glowing skulls adore!
May 15 2007, 03:30 PM
Wait a minute, the can wasn't eight foot tall, I was shrinking, AAAAHHHHHHHH!!
May 15 2007, 03:32 PM
I ran for safety as to not get stomped by my party guests.
May 15 2007, 04:26 PM
However, my clothes remained the same size, falling off as I went, so I was soon running naked through the room!
May 15 2007, 05:56 PM
Then, out of nowhere, BAM, face to face with a mouse licking E-Z cheese of it's lips and whiskers.
May 15 2007, 07:57 PM
"So, we meet again," he said with an evil guffaw.
May 15 2007, 08:12 PM
"you may want to watch out for the traps under the sink" i say, feeling that i should return the favor of releasing me from the gag and trying my best to over look the evil guffaw
May 15 2007, 08:13 PM
His eyes wandered lasciviously over my now naked body.
May 15 2007, 10:01 PM
i began to feel self conscious and tried to cover myself with my hands.
May 16 2007, 06:39 AM
No need to do that dearie, we aren't of the same species.
May 16 2007, 06:43 AM
"Oh, of course not." i replied, "I was ummm, just cold"
May 16 2007, 06:52 AM
"Well, we need to fix that", mouse snapped his finger and suddenly two other mice appeared with a full closet of clothing.
May 16 2007, 06:58 AM
"oooohh" i exclaimed "just like shopping, but i don't have my money with me, how can i pay you?"
May 16 2007, 07:12 AM
"Hmmm," said the mouse, "Perhaps something can be arranged. What would you say to helping me with a little problem I'm having with that glowing blue guy?"
May 16 2007, 07:18 AM
"skully?" i asked "sure, i'll help you" i was not sure i liked skully much anyway and mouse had much needed clothes.
May 16 2007, 08:09 AM
What did you have in mind my friend?
May 16 2007, 09:48 AM
"Get dressed," the mouse ordered, "and come with me."
May 16 2007, 10:35 AM
I grabbed some jeans, a hoodie (it being night and all) and a pair of comfy shoes, and followed the mouse.
May 16 2007, 11:08 AM
He led me down a tiny dark mouse tunnel, lit only by the candles that floated near the ceiling.
May 16 2007, 08:48 PM
i was really glad for the hoodie as it was a little breezy, this should have caused the floating candles to flicker but . . . it didn't.
May 17 2007, 08:37 AM
all of a sudden we reached a door, and then suddenly and the candles went out and we were plunged into darkness.
May 17 2007, 08:38 AM
I looked around and thought to myself..."Well, sh**. Why did I agree to go along with this?"
May 17 2007, 09:29 AM
A deep, pulsing noise started to reverberate through the darkness, growing ever louder and LOUDER still!
May 17 2007, 01:11 PM
i groped about till my hand touch something . . . something wet and slippery.
May 17 2007, 07:52 PM
It was a Vienna sausage, still slimy from the can.
May 17 2007, 09:30 PM
I really had the munchies, where was the EZ cheese when i needed it.
May 18 2007, 08:24 AM
Instead of EZ cheese, in front of me appeared, some dill pickle chips with dill pickle dip.
May 18 2007, 09:01 AM
yumm, my fav, i thought, but wonderered how i know what it was in the darkness.
May 20 2007, 09:26 AM
Of course, the dark damp air was now scented with pickles so that may have clued me in.
May 21 2007, 01:55 AM
"Do eat," said the mouse. "You look famished."
May 21 2007, 03:24 AM
i really was hungary so i gobbled up a large potion and almost immediatly felt am overwhelming erge to take a nap.
May 21 2007, 04:00 AM
But the mission seemed pressing. It was either do or die. A restless curiosity stirred me to action...
May 21 2007, 06:18 AM
"Back to hell from whence you came, addicting DEVIL CHIPS" I declared as I hurled the chips and dip into a nearby river.
May 21 2007, 06:47 AM
"Your resistance is very impressive" said the mouse.
May 21 2007, 07:31 AM
"Why, yes, yes it is. Must be all those Weight Watchers sessions I've been attending," I said.
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