Hi Busties! I'm wondering how many of us know our HIV status. Do you discuss this with potential partners? My experience is this almost never comes up on its own, even when the sex is not going to be protected. I recently found out that now you only have to wait 3 months to be able to be tested after a new partner (it used to be 6). Also, the newer HIV tests are mouth swabs not blood tests. And yes, women are more likely to get it from a guy than the other way around!

pf

Interesting poll and a fave topic of mine... I am always shocked by the way people will worry like crazy about pregnancy but not about catching HIV or STDs - last time I checked it was much easier to deal with an unwanted pregnancy than HIV (even allowing for the scary anti-choice types you have in the US).

I know my status and had all the tests you can get before we ditched the condoms. The weirdest thing is the way people start off being 'careful' but once they've been together a while they ditch the full rubber jacket and switch to the pill. Just because you now have some history together doesn't cancel out what they got up to before you met them! And sure, it's hotter without condoms, but not so hot that it's worth risking your health for.

I know from experience how easy it is to assume the best about someone's sexual health - although fortunately through getting something that was easily treatable, but it really hammers home the lesson.

Seems to me that protecting yourself and others is pretty basic ethics for anyone getting busy. Don't want to sound judgemental here - I'm speaking from experience not from a soapbox - but I worry that people underestimate the risks - OK, you may not get HIV but you can easily get herpes, chlamydia etc...

My test was done five months ago. blood test. negative. I was told to do the test again in six months.
I also had the std panel done. blood test. one positive. I was told to do the tests again in six months as well.

I have not had any partners since my husband left me. it's been eight months. We had been together 27 years.
I do not know the current dating regime. I do not plan on finding out any time soon.
Perhaps after counseling and a bit more information.

Just so everyone knows, psychicfemme is a past trollie and a particularly nasty one at that (go ahead, check its old posts and see if you want to deal that!), so I'd question the motives of this poll.....feel free to talk about the subject, but just be forewarned.

This ends this Bustie Public Service Announcement.

i know my HIV status; i get tested regularly. i count myself extremely lucky that none of my (unfortunate) college one night stands or short-lived boyfriends did not have a disease as serious as HIV. i am very glad to be in a monogamous relationship so it's less of a worry. i still get tested regularly.

This is a serious poll with a public service and educational purpose. The results are here for all to see and partake of. Please do check my old posts if you would like to see that the same "busties" currently causing problems on this board have been doing it for some time and in the same immature way (there are about 6 or 7 of them). You will also note no public service motive in their posts, but they do talk about food a lot.

pf

a poll as public service?

And PF, you were the shit disturber.

I am certain that the intelligent and thinking women on this board will have no trouble seeing how a poll such as this serves an educational and public service purpose. Please limit discussion to the topic at hand. Attempts to hijack this thread will be reported.

pf

Wow, colour me surprised.

ooooh pf, I'm trembling. See, you have a history around these parts.

This is a serious discussion forum. Please confine your comments to the important subject of HIV testing. I'm sure there's a bon bon thread for those of you who need it.

*delurks to snort, then leaves to look for the bonbon thread*

you should check out these pipes. Candy doesn't do it for me. Being a top to little wankers does though.

Why do we not have a bon bon thread?

I have to say that my favorite bonbon is chocolate. I used to just like regular chocolate but now I am getting very partial to dark chocolate with rasberry flavoring.

Mmmmm, kitten...you're making my mouth water with all that raspberry/chocolate talk!

bonbons. yummy. i like dark chocolate with bitter orange in the middle. so yummy.

ok i get that pf is coming off like a brat here....but seriously, what is the point of the poll? how would you like to moderate or guide this discussion on HIV testing?

There is no point.

remember the ice cream bonbons? damn, I just gained five pounds thinking about them.

The point of this poll is to raise consciousness about HIV testing, and how relatively rarely that discussion happens. Testing nowadays involves a mouth swab and a 20 minute wait for results. It's easy to assume you're safe because you don't think you're really at risk. How many degrees of separation (as measured in sex partners) are there between you and an iv drug user or prostitute? And most of those who transmit the disease do not know they have it. I think it's useful to have this discussion, as HIV has not been discussed in this forum before as far as I can tell.

pf

GGG - I freakin' LOVED those things! Now I am imagining them with chocolate ice cream and rasberries.

Something tells me that I'll be eating ice cream by the end of the day.

Welcome *your name here*! New threads are fairly rare, as unlike many other boards they are not used here for one single discussion but generally for an ongoing topic that can have several discussions (and re-discussions) in it. There are several forums (such as The F-Word, Media Whores, Our Bodies Our Hells), and each forum has many topic threads. If there is something specific you are looking to discuss or share, chances are there is a thread for it.

For example, if you're looking to discuss a good movie, the Reel Life thread in the Media Whores forum would be the place to go. Or, if you wanted to discuss female beauty standards in Western culture, you could pop into the Constructing/De-Constructing the Pretty Girl thread in the F-Word forum. The only reason the posts in most of our threads don't go back literally years is due to the old software this board used to use. But still, most threads do go back for a year or two, and the discussions generally make for thoughtful reading.

If you do find there's something you want to discuss and can't find an existing thread for it, the Community Forum is exactly the place to ask! Someone will point you in the right direction, or even bump the thread to the top of the board for you to make it easy for you to find. That way, everyone gets the benefit of all the older posts on the topic as well as your new one!

I hope that makes navigating the board a little easier for you. Enjoy!

*I bumped the STD thread. Great resource!*

kittenb, I had the Dove cherry/chocolate flavor last night, OMG DIVINE!

This poll is designed to raise consciousness about HIV testing, and how relatively rarely that discussion happens. Testing nowadays involves a mouth swab and a 20 minute wait for results. It's easy to assume you're safe because you don't think you're really at risk. How many degrees of separation (as measured in sex partners) are there between you and an iv drug user or prostitute? And most of those who transmit the disease do not know they have it.

pf

I can't believe how many people voted "yes" to having unprotected sex with someone whose HIV status they didn't know.

Wowowowow.

Yeah oceangirl...the poll numbers are still small, but it does seem like this is more the rule than the exception. That's part of why I think this discussion is a good one to have.

pf

Also, it's pretty clear that each std should probably have it's own thread since the discussions tend to be very particular to the disease. The current std thread is ponderous, confusing, and hard to follow, and doesn't even mention HIV! Hopefully we'll see new ones arising for hsv, hpv, hep, etc, as well.

PPFFTT!!! HA! ditto for me.

public service my A$$!

See, I just don't get the chocolate and orange thing at all! But, while I like oranges, I hate anything orange flavored or scented.

mmmm chocolate

mmmm bonbons

mmmm chocolate and bonbons

mmmmmmm

Psychicfemme is reminding me of a counselor I had at bible camp who tried to have a serious and frank discussion about sex with 12 year olds.

It didn't work and she got really pissed off that we were giggling over some of the stuff.


As for the thread, bonbons are good. Haven't had any in a long time, but mentioning them, mmmm. For some reason, I'm not too fond of fruit flavors mixing with milk chocolate, it's like someone's trying to sneak something healthy into my diet.

However, white chocolate with raspberries...*drools*


Chocolate is good.


Oh, and the last time I got tested was two years ago, it came back negative, and since I've only been with one partner (who I *know* is good about using condoms) and don't inject drugs, I'm fairly confident I don't have HIV, or any other STD (got tested for those too). The reason why I haven't gotten tested more recently is due to lack of health insurance, and now that I have it again, I'll be going to the doctor soon to see if everything is still running smoothly.

A frank discussion about sex at bible camp?! Now that I would've liked to see!

there's a chocolatier in a town near where i live that makes the best truffles ever. all kinds of truffles that you'd think are really disgusting but they are absolutely fabulous. like wasabi/chocolate or lavender/chocolate or strawberry/balsamic vinegar/chocolate. delightful. i need to go there soon.

fiddler

I voted that I don't know my status because I haven't had a test yet. On the other hand, I've never had sex, used intraveneous drugs or had a blood transfusion, so it is unlikely that I'm HIV-positive. However, I'm ready to take the test should I get the chance to stop using the condoms and dams in my first sexual relationship.

I plan to talk about my HIV status before having sex with anyone. That's not a problem with me. It's the talk about dental dams that I'm less looking forward to having. Very few people seem to know about them, let alone use them.

Yes, and it's easy to see who the 12 year olds are on this thread. Hopefully they'll come back when (if) they've grown up. In the meantime, I guess they'll be discussing bon bons, as is fitting to their emotional age.

pf

Awesome post beck! It's so true how people get complacent about things because they don't think they are really at risk. Partners tend not to be readily forthcoming about infidelities either, and that's all it takes to put you into a risk category.

Also, testing for most stds is free at your local free clinic. The HIV test is now a mouth swab and a 20 minute wait for results. So get tested, and also make sure your partner does also BEFORE you have unprotected sex.

pf

You know, it was the cheap stuff, but there was some great free candy in all the stores I was in today. Bon Bons galore!

trivia on bon bons. thanks wikipedia.

In Europe a bonbon is a candy, the simplest form of bonbon is essentially sugar coated almonds. In the modern era the use of almonds as a centre has declined, and a bonbon can be any confection with a fondant center, often with fruit or nuts, covered in fondant or chocolate, or any other confection consisting of a sweet centre covered by a loose sugar or flavoured coating.[1][2] Although not technically a bon bon in the conventional sense, the term is also used in respect of Fruit Bon Bons, a hard boiled sweet with a soft fruit centre.

Bonbon is also the French and German word for candy.

i managed to only consume one bon bon today. such restraint.

fiddler

Need I say more? Thanks to kitten, fiddler, polly, faerie, lilac, ladyj, pepper, girly (I may have left a few out) for self-identifying...awesome!

Hi Jami...yes, the reason they asked you to get tested again in 6 mos is because the test measures antibodies, not the virus itself, and it takes from 3-6 mos for the antibodies to show up in detectable form. So you should wait 3-6 months from your last unprotected partner to be sure, and you should be sure to practice safe sex in the meantime.

pf

"Bonbon is also the French and German word for candy."

Well if that's the case, I've been stuffing my face with bonbons all day! Gotta love Halloween leftovers...yum!

Shove it, troll.

psych,

have some bon bons. chocolate is good for the soul. chocolate makes you happy. loosen up already. chocolate is yummy! bon bons for everybody!

fiddler

That's very wise hcbeck! Dental dams are probably most effective at preventing the spread of oral herpes (aka "cold sores") to your genitals, although there is a slim chance that hiv could be passed in this way as well. You should definitely talk about all the possible stds with your partner, including whether they have "cold sores" aka hsv1. And be careful cuz not everyone tells the truth about these things (and not all of us are psychic ). Ask for a report from their actual std test to be sure.

pf

I don't have to be psychic to know that you are just ridiculous. And I am in some good company in thinking that.

I will miss it when all the Halloween bon bons are gone.

this thread is really bizarre. and not bizarre in a cool and intriguing way, bizarre in the sense that's it's weird and annoying.

this poll/thread is not offering much room for discussion or exchange of ideas. it sounds like the originator of the thread is trying to "educate" us by using information s/he picked up at the free health clinic. i, too, am up to date on the facts that are available to the public regarding hiv/aids by way of pamphlets, internet, and 5th grade health ed class.. as i'm sure most other busties are as well. and anyone who would think that we dont take this issue seriously IRL, is pretty damn out of touch. so as far as i'm concerned, i'm skeptical as to the real intention behind starting up this 'discussion' in the first place.

oh and btw, when i hear bonbon, i think of peg bundy..

thanks for this thread girls! it is totally cracking me up! and hey, who doesn't love bonbons? in fact, i may have to see if i can find myself some this afternoon.

I think the thread's intention was to start up a conversation about bonbons.

fiddler, that was just pure torture. unless you're planning on sticking some of that delightful chocolate into the mail for me Hush Up Girl! the bonbons i can handle just reading about but that... balsamic lavendar hand rolled truffles, argh, killing me!

There's plenty of room for discussion, but morons like yourself and your little bonbon clatch serve only to distract from the topic at hand. I encourage you to attempt to stretch your mind as fully as your belly, but I doubt that is even possible without creating quite a chocolate mess.

*shits a big ol' chocolatey mess*

selective quoting there, eh, pf? i think you missed the part on WHY this thread is stupid and kills discussion, so let me reiterate it: "it sounds like the originator of the thread is trying to "educate" us by using information s/he picked up at the free health clinic." throw in your superiority complex, and really...why would you expect people to give a shit?

...your immaturity is entirely predictable