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nickclick
as agreed to by some Pregnancy thread-ers..... welcome!

Lillian is almost 3 months and i'm set to go back to work in a few weeks mellow.gif . i'll work from home for 2 days/week and one Grandma will come by another. other Grandma was set to sit the other 2 days, but she fell and fractured her arm last week. she is recovering nicely but may need surgery. so yesterday we enrolled her in a perfectly lovely daycare for 2 days/week.

any good/bad daycare experiences to share?
aphelendra
Sarah isn't in daycare, but I did go back to school last week. Mr. A is home with her while I'm gone. I'm only gone for 4 hours twice a week (yep, it's going to take me several decades at this rate). But, I will say this - I think it was a way bigger deal for me than it was for her. I had a horrible panic attack, complete with crying and wheezy noises, the night before. I raced home from school the next day to find Sarah and Mr. playing flying baby on the floor and having a grand ol' time.

Of course, part of my worry has to do with the fact that Sarah isn't currently taking a bottle. We never introduced one due to her AWFUL CRAPPY HORRIBLE SHALLOW latch, and now she has no idea what to do with the thing. So in order to feed her, Mr. has to spoon feed her or let her drink from a cup, neither of which are particularly efficient ways to get milk in a baby. And messy, veeeeerrrrry messy. But alas, the wee tot did not starve in my absence.

I think I'm going to stop here - Sarah's sleep has been way off lately (as in nonexistant). I don't want to bum up the beginnings of this faboo new thread with my whining:lol:

Excited to hear from everyone! I've missed you guys . . . .
zelda
Thanks for starting this thread, Nick!

Aphelendra, this IS the place to whine...or I'm not going to post! ;-)

Seriously...feel free to vent anytime. I was just the same way the first day I went back to work and E was home with Mr. Z all day...he, too, had trouble with the bottle and I was so scared I would come home to a nightmare, but all was well. He now takes the bottle like a pro. I'm sure you're sick of bottle advice, but E rejected everything and we finally had luck with the Playtex nursers with the drop in liner. I think because the nipples are smaller. I know Dr. Browns and all those claim to have a nipple "like moms" but so sorry, my nipples are not huge gigantic protruding things!

Anyway, hear you on the sleep thing. E's sleep is pretty crappy. 8 months old and still not sleeping through the night. We have been horribly inconsistent and sending all sorts of terrible mixed messages to him for which I feel awful, but it's so hard to be consistent when you're dog tired. We did the Ferber thing after much resistance on my part, but it worked and he never seemed any worse for wear and was still the same charming, delightful little guy he was before we "Ferberized" him...but then we traveled for Christmas and stayed at my parents for two weeks and we just co-slept...and I was nursing him to sleep each time he woke up. Which he then started to expect and he was waking up every hour (literally) and I had to nurse him back to sleep.

I love the feeling of co-sleeping, but I don't want to get stuck in a position where I have to break a 5 year old of the habit, so we are back to Ferberizing PLUS E really needs to get sleep! He is not well rested when he wakes up every hour on the hour and screams out of frustration because he is so tired. :-(

Gawd...so hard.

But other than the sleep drama, he is a wonderful, cheerful, lovely little guy who loves new people and new surroundings. We love taking him out to eat. He loves to flirt with the waitresses, play with his toys and smile at everyone as Mr. Z and I enjoy a nice meal. I have several friends who cannot take their kiddos to restaurants, but I feel like Mr. Z and I deserve this treat from him after the three months of colic craziness! ;-)

I had lunch with a friend who is 37 weeks today and found myself talking about the birth and I started crying! Did not know I would do that...I never stop looking at E and thinking of him as a total miracle. Which he is!
Fookie
Hi,
I posted a slightly massive update in the other thread, so won't repeat myself (too much), just wanted to share my happy daycare experience with you Nicklick.

Baby F has been in daycare 4 days/week since first week of january. Mr. F was very sad to go back to work and give up his daddy-time, but everyone has adjusted beautifully. BAby F had started attending this home daycare once per week last september to give Mr. F time finish some renovations and so Baby F could get used to the environment. So it wasn't as much a shock to BAby F as it was to Mr. F (or to me). The setting is a stay at home mom, spanish-speaking (we wanted a third language), with a three year old daughter. She also has a nine year old son. Baby F thinks they are his siblings! He gets so insanely excited when he sees them that I can't be sad at all when I drop him off. There are now two other boys who come before and after school and they are also mush when it comes to Baby F. Basically I feel like I'm bringing him to his "more exciting" family every morning and I"m happy to provide him with such a "family." He won't be getting siblings from us, and we don't have a lot of friends with kids so I'm so happy he has kids in his life who adore him. And while I don't understand much Spanish, my French helps me communicate with the caregiver, and also allows me to hear her constantly call Baby F "mi amor" ... I love Baby F's daycare situation so much that I actually spend a silly amount of time worrying that she'll move away smile.gif

Here's a question for you ladies ... eczema ... I think Baby F had his first bought of it on his legs. The "rash" was angry and red. I put some Weleda Diaper CAre cream on it (it was calendula in it - and we've never had to use it b/c Baby F has never had diaper rash) and the angry looking aspect of the eczema disappeared within 12 hours. I've since bought the same brand Calendula lotion and it seems to be keeping it at bay. But his legs still feel so dry and I sense that if I stopped using it the eczema would come right back. Anyone have any tips? And do you think the outbreak is due to the dryness of winter combined with crawling ... or what?



julie124
Hooray moms thread! nickclick, thanks for setting us up.

Henry is 14 months old now - man, it's like time is speeding up - and lots of fun. He can walk little bits on his own, but much prefers holding on to one parent's finger as he leads you around the house. He says "Dad" consistently (and I think maybe "Elmo" but I'm not quite sure) and says "Mama" sometimes, but mostly when he's unhappy or super-tired. He definitely understands a lot more than he says. He does great with solids, loves broccoli and peas and mostly eats big-people food cut up into smaller bits now. (zelda, he also loves the Earth's Best food - that stuff is actually quite good and we keep a couple jars on hand for emergencies.) Oh, and toast. I swear the kiddo is going to turn into a piece of toast, he eats so much of that. He loves books and is able to sit still for some of the longer picture books, which is great.

As for daycare, mr. julie stays home with Henry most of the time, as he has since kiddo was about 3 months old. I work 30-hour weeks, which still leaves me a good amount of time at home with Henry too. I could work some from home but find it much harder to get anything done from the home office than to just go to work.

Sleep. Yeah, not so much. He naps pretty well, but still wants to be nursed to sleep and wakes up about every two hours during the night. Yes, you read that right. My fellow parents are horrified (and I admit to being jealous about their glorious 6 hours of sleep per night). I periodically consider doing the Ferber thing but can't quite bring myself to do it - not because I think it's wrong or anything, theoretically it makes total sense, but it just feels wrong for me. That said, getting irritated because I have to nurse AGAIN is probably doing me no favors either. One thing is, he's working on his molars, so I don't feel like it's fair to try Ferber when he's in a kind of high-need place....Right now, I'm trying to kind of go with the flow a little bit. I'm trying gradual weaning and had hoped to be mostly weaned by now, but I've kind of accepted that it's going to take more time. One thing I try to remember is how hard it was when I was trying to get into a rhythm with the nursing at the beginning...and that I eventually got there. For awhile I was studying sleep books like crazy, but again it's kind of like the initial nursing thing - at some point I had to just say "screw it" to the books and come up with something that worked for us. (When I had trouble nursing at the beginning, I found that reading the books just kind of made me feel like a big failure who had done a bunch of things wrong. Not that they were written that way, it was just my frame of mind, I think. Though I had definitely done things different than they recommend - supplemented with formula at first, etc.) Not that I've quite come up with something that works, but I'm trying some stuff and just trying to remind myself that it will take time.

Fookie, Baby F's daycare situation sounds so wonderful! How great to get to be in your loving family and then spend the day with another loving family.

Eczema is weird. Henry has had a mild case occasionally, but nothing lately thankfully. I'd bet that you're right - that it's the dryness of winter combined with crawling. We're in a dry climate, so lots of kids get eczema during the winter here. One thing our doc recommended was limiting how often he gets a bath (2 to 3 times a week max, rather than every day). Bathing with a mild cleanser like Cetaphil rather than soap also helps because it's less drying. And just be liberal with the lotion. Sounds like you've had good results with the candula. Henry actually has really chapped thumbs right now because he keeps chewing on them (molars coming in). We've been putting petroleum jelly on them when he sleeps which seems to help.
jenny_dreadful
Oh Julie! Archie says 'dada' and 'da-tee' and also 'deet' at birds, but he only says 'mama' when he's grizzling! I say 'mummy' and 'mama' to him so often, but mainly he replies with 'da-tee' and a big smile. I'm trying not to take it personally.

I've been back at work for two weeks and two days, and so far things are going well. I'm working from home on a Friday and I'm working 8 till 4 as my main hours so I'm home at a reasonable time. My Mr D is doing great as a stay-at-home Dad and is running the household and looking after the little fellow brilliantly.

Archie is now walking some of the time and crawling the rest of the time. It's crazy looking at my little newborn and see that he's growing in independence. My NCT friend said that when her son started walking she just saw all the steps he was going to take away from her. I know my job as a parent is to fit my child for independence, but I see what she means.

Our big thing is eating. Archie has pretty much refused to wean. He's 13 months and has only just started opening his mouth for Weetabix. Up until a week ago he refused anything on a spoon and would only gum rice cakes. We've been seeing a nutritionist and a behavioural therapist and he has made loads of progress in the last month, but it has been stressful. I have to keep reminding myself that all children develop at their own rates and that the NHS milestones are just averages rather than absolutes. Archie is happily chewing on bits of fruit and veg now, but he's still really hungry for milk and as a result wakes up a couple of times each night. We're pretty used to it now.

Archie is a joy and I love watching him learn new things. Right now his favourite games are put the thing inside the other thing. He is fascinated by putting his shapes in the shape sorter, plus anything and everything in the bin. He also loves standing up in the bath and throwing his ducks out of the bath and then trying to fetch them back in.

Love to all, I'm delighted this thread is set up, and really look forward to (and have already enjoyed) all your tales of mama-dom.
nickclick
so many cool moms around here! terrific!

wow jenny, you are lucky.... you were home from work for Archie's first year? i'm sadly approaching the end of my 3-month maternity leave... Archie sounds like a sweetie. I have this book that lists milestones but at each one spells out the disclaimer that all babies develop and different rates. it's hard not to worry though when he's surely hitting other milestones on target.

speaking of milestones, Lillian has been rolling over, which i think is on target at almost 3 months. but now she's rolling over in her crib and falling asleep on her side or stomach. mostly she cries when she finds herself on her stomach, but once i came in to a soundly sleeping baby on her tummy and her face pointing to the side. the pediatrician says if she's strong enough to roll onto her tummy, and lifting her head during tummy time (she is), then she's strong enough to avoid sleeping face down. but i'm still worried.
zelda
So great to hear everyone's news! Fookie, I'm sorry I don't have any eczema advice! I have heard of those lotions...skin issues can be so tricky. One of the reasons I'm trying to wean myself is that I have psoriasis on my scalp, and I can't take the steroid meds while BFing. I'm nursing once to twice a day right now and I still have milk...I think another month and I will have weaned him completely.

Your day care situation sounds marvelous....right now we have a great thing going with Mr. Z and my MIL taking care of him in the day...we're hoping at 18 months (in a year or so) to find a 3 day a week program and have Mr. Z and my MIL each take one of the other days so Mr. Z can go back to 32 hours a week and qualify for his own health care. It will be hard for me tho....love having him at his own house! But it has been ideal for this first year, and I feel so fortunate we have been able to do this.

Julie, don't do the Ferber thing if you don't want to. I do think it works for some babies, but if you are not on board, it's very stressful...and it certainly hasn't helped E sleep thru the night...just make it so that he doesn't wake every hour on the hour (literally!)...what are you gonna do...also, I totally break Ferber's rules in that in my mind 4:30 is the morning, so if E wakes up after that, he joins me in bed for some cuddly co-sleeping and we all get an extra 2 hours of sleep that way. Whatever works for you!!!!! :-)

Jenny, my BFF's daughter has had similar food issues, but you are right, all kiddos develop at different stages and I think Archie will work out his food things...personally, I threw out all the milestones books. (And Julie, I, too, had a million sleep books!!!)...but I decided I am only going to use the baby reference books for specific medical concerns. The milestones were stressing me out. I figure E will advance when he's good and ready, and if there's a problem, the pediatrician will let us know.

Speaking of, we had to make an emergency visit to our pediatrician this AM when E accidentally took a forehead-first tumble out of Mr. Z's arms and hit our hardwood floors. I heard the sound of his head hitting the floor (and Mr. Z screaming) from the other side of the house and raced to them so panicked.

The doctor checked him out and he is AOK....just a swollen left eye that makes him look like a prizefighter. Our first big health scare as parents, and it wasn't any fun! Poor little pumpkin!! Well, it gave us an extra reason to spoil him.

zelda
Fookie, just read your other post.....SO thrilled my article helped you. That really touches me...and makes me smile.
julie124
Thanks for all the support on the sleeping (or lack therof) thing. Despite talking a good game in my earlier post, I was at the library the other day and found yet another sleep book (The Lull-a-Baby Sleep Plan) and after paging through went, "Aw, what the hell, I can at least read it to see what they say." I didn't read the whole thing (there is a whole section going over how bad sleep deprivation is for kids, yeah, feeling bad enough about that already, thanks) but am trying some things from it. Most of it is geared toward preventing sleep problems, but they have a section on how to help older babies who already are used to sleeping a certain way learn a new way. I think it's too early to say whether it has made a difference (and frankly, doing any kind of strategy consistently is a challenge for me, especially since sometimes I feel like bedtime turns into Showdown at the OK Corral) but I will say that last night Henry slept from about midnight to about 4 a.m., which is the longest stretch he's had in a long time. (Now, at 4 a.m. it took me almost an hour and a half to get him to go back to sleep for another hour, but trying to focus on the positive here.) So, we'll see.

Jenny, it is SO HARD not to focus on the milestones, isn't it? I'm like zelda - had to quit reading all that milestone stuff after awhile, because I couldn't stop myself from overanalysing it: "Oh no, you're not babbling yet! Omigod why aren't you babbling?" I still have my moments - especially at the one year mark, since you see a lot of kids running around and talking, and my kid still wants to hold your finger as he runs around the house and just recently started saying anything recognizable, and not all the time - but it got better after I quit reading about it all the time.

My sister told me a funny story about one of her friends. Her friend was worried because her son wasn't really walking on his own at home yet and they were coming close to the well-child visit for the period where that's a big developmental milestone. So she talks to the people at day care, thinking, maybe there's something else he needs from us to support him reaching this milestone, we should be working on this as a team, blah blah blah. The daycare teacher is like, "What are you talking about? He's been running around the classroom on his own for months!" Yep, you've been played by a toddler.

zelda, how scary for you! Glad to hear that E is doing OK. Henry is always making these sudden moves when we're holding him, so we've just been lucky so far not to have had a similar experience. He ran into the side of our recliner the other week and ended up with a big bruise on his cheek, so mr. julie was embarrassed to take him in public for awhile lest people think he was a big ol' child abuser.
funnybird
Hello everyone! Wow, it's been a long time since I last posted! Even now I'll only have time for a quick update - Babybird is happy in his baby gym for the moment but his mood can change within seconds. For now I can here him panting and whooping and can see his little feet pedalling madly, so I know all is well...

He's just emerged from a 12-week growth spurt, where he would consent to being held by me only, wanted to feed non-stop and refused to sleep. Thank goodness that's over! He's getting so big - part of me wants to freeze time and the other part wants to fast forward so I can see what he does next.

Architect Boy is 3/4 of the way through his treatment. It's been rough at times, but generally not as bad as we expected. His hair hasn't fallen out and he only feels nauseous for a few days after each dose rather than all time. The worst side effect of the drug he's being given is that it decimates his white blood cells, leaving him extremely vulnerable to infection - he's ended up in hospital twice - once with a cold and the second time with a stomach bug. It means that even when he's feeling okay he can't really go out and socialise.

The silver lining is that he's at home with me and Babybird all the time, so has been able to spend lots of time bonding and helping me out.

I can hear grizzling from the direction of the baby gym, so I must go. Will be back later...
aphelendra
Funny, I'm so glad that AB is doing okay with his treatments, and that you guys are making the most of everything and enjoying the extra time that he's at home with you guys. So sorry though, to hear about the hospital. We're all pulling for you guys . . . .

I haven't been around too much lately, life seems to have kicked into high gear the last few months. I'm back in school part time, though taking a course in microbiology, so you know . . . . not too part time. Plus I get the added worry of traipsing back in after a lab and covering my dear little girl in streptococcus pneumoniae. Yipes.

We are also now planning our wedding, a small backyard affair to which the guest list is now exceeding 140. Whoops.

So in review, I am raising an infant, planning a wedding, and attempting to (finally) finish my nursing degree. Plus, Mr. A is still working for himself, so there is a small (very very wee) business to run. I'm starting to see why most people approach these things in a specific order. In my next life, these very important events are going to occur ONE AT A TIME. With months and years separating them.

In addition, we were hit with a blizzard this week (20 inches in 24 hours). And then Mr. and I got The Big Flu. Luckily, Sarah had gotten her first flu shot exactly one week before we got hit. Next year, the whole fam is getting the shot, good grief.

I appear to be out of nap time . . . . gotta run! Miss you ladies, I'll try and check back later, we're also having some food issues in this here neck o' the woods . . . . gah.
aphelendra
So, just throwing this out there . . . . What are we all doing for birth control?

We've been relying on breastfeeding thus far, but I did just get fitted for a diaphragm this morning. Um, nothing like a slippery, sloshy, sloopy frisbee in your vahina to say "Come and get me honey!". Ay.
Fookie
Guess this is where "unexplained infertility" comes in handy wink.gif

Actually the "unexplained" part of that diagnosis does kind of keep us on our feet. We're very committed to Fookie Jr. being an only child ... and social workers in these parts frown quite harshly upon adoptions where another child in the house will be less than 18 months older/younger ... so when Fookie Jr. first came home we tried to get back into condom mode.

I've never done well with the pill so we had always used condoms ... but going back to them was not easy/fun ... so our determination to use them slowly waned.

Now, I'm embarrassed to say we're using a combination of "cross our fingers" and listening to my body. I did get pretty familiar with my cycles and ovulation signs (let's her it for egg-white CM!) and kind of avoid sex in that window. Of course ... I must say that sex has kind of been on the back-burner since Fookie Jr. came home. ...

For some reason I've set "once/week" as the "goal" to keep the "spark" in our marriage, but I'd say we only achieve that 3/4 of the time ... and half of those times I'm working very hard to even be remotely near "in the mood." Am I alone here? I have nooooooooo drive. Zero.
julie124
Yeah, we're all about the condoms, too. Not the most fun solution, but I actually decided a long while back that I was tired of the pill - I think it might have been adversely affecting my sex drive, in fact, but mainly just felt like it was time to get off the hormones. Before we had Henry I wasn't too worried about condom failure (I admit, was kind of hoping for it when mr. julie was hemming and hawing about trying a few years ago) but afterwards I was like, shit, I don't want to have another baby right away. My doc wrote me a scrip for a pill that's supposed to be OK while breastfeeding, but I never filled the prescription; we've just done the condom thing.

I should note that I STILL haven't gotten my period back. So sometimes I worry that I'm going to be one of the crazy ladies on TV who doesn't know she's pregnant until delivery, but mostly I kind of enjoy it. One of the side benefits of not having weaned quite yet. That said, this week I've been getting some of my telltale period-about-to-come signs: random pimples, super tired inexplicably, craving sweets. So maybe it's on its way, who knows. I'm not sure if I'm a little dehydrated or what, but I've also noticed that I don't seem to be producing as much when I pump these days either. It's definitely going to be bittersweet when the nursing finally ends for good - part of me can't wait, part of me knows I'm going to miss it.

As for drive...that varies. On the weeks when Henry's sleeping has been especially shitty, I'm like the walking dead and the last thing I want is sex. But other times, I'm good to go several times a week. The kind of amazing thing is that mr. julie's drive seems to have gone up since we had Henry. We still have our dry spells, but I used to always be the one to initiate things and sometimes it was REALLY few and far between. Now sometimes we have quite the fun little week. It definitely helps the ego!

Okay, must go sleep now....love to all!
nickclick
yep, back on the condoms. we got pregnant within one month of trying, so we didn't get all that much rubber-free fun sad.gif .

i hear ya, julie, about being too tired. i've never been a fan of scheduling nookie time, but that seems to be the trend lately. like - after i give Lily a bottle tomorrow and before we have to go to (wherever), um, don't take a nap, OK?
nickclick
love! the shape of a mother
aphelendra
Excellent link nick, thanks! I'm still reeling over my MASSIVE UNGODLY UNBELIEVABLE weight gain. Though I only have 12 pounds left to lose (as of this morning, not as if I'm keeping track), I think the stretchmarks are with me for good. Or at least a while. I actually didn't get any stretch marks on my stomach. They're all on my ass and thighs. And the sad, wrinkly old skin that now covers my bum? With me, probably for life. Gah . . . . But galldurnit, I'm supposed to look different, right? Right?

So I'm half heartedly awaiting the arrival of my own special pregnancy prevention frisbee. I wish we could use condoms. We just don't. I wish we could use withdrawal. That doesn't usually end as intended . . . . I swear, we were such careful people before all this. Infertility really does change the game, huh fookie?

Our RE has given us a pretty firm 2 year maximum before we try to conceive again, or risk the return of the dreaded endometriosis (he's eastern european, so please picture him saying this word kind of like I imagine Dracula would. HILARIOUS ladies, fucking hilarious). Meanwhile, I have already postponed school twice to deal with all of this, once for treatment/surgery and once for the babe herself. So, I pretty much refuse to take time off. And if I'm already in clinical rotations when/if we get preggo again, I'll lose my place in the program if I withdraw, even for a semester. So either Miss Sarah is going to be it, or I'm going to be waddling into school within days of delivery.

On one hand, I can't imagine doing anything to prevent another pregnancy, since we don't even know if we could get pregnant again if we tried, or at least maybe not easily. On the other hand, I.NEED.TO.BE.NURSE. NOW.

Clearly, I've been needing to vent about this. Thanks for the space to do so . . . . I love busties.
julie124
Yes, nick, seconding the link love. And aphelendra, I was the same - no stretch marks on my tummy, but plenty on my thighs (mostly upper thighs, kind of interesting). Honestly, I wasn't super-worried about the stretch marks because I got my first stretch marks decades ago when I hit puberty - my hips appeared overnight and my skin apparently had to stretch to keep up.

Earlier on, before the nursing had really done its magic (best.diet.ever) I had quite a little tummy for awhile. Since it was near the holidays, I fondly referred to it as my bowl full of jelly (it was jiggly too). But mostly I took to reminding myself to be kind by calling it "Henry's house". Now it's gone down mostly, though I still have the slightly wrinkly skin (which I'm noticing I have on my chest as well). aphelendra, you're absolutely right, we're SUPPOSED to change.

So, Mr. Period (as I used to refer to it) finally returned last week. I was kind of enjoying my sabbatical (9 months off during pregnancy, 6 weeks of lochia, then another 14 months off) but I'm okay with it returning. If I can just get us off the financial edge and to a slightly more comfortable place financially, I think we could start thinking about doing this whole adventure again. I could, anyway.

My milk supply is definitely dwindling a bit. I'm only halfheartedly trying to build it up...I had hoped to have weaned already, but I think Henry's going to want to keep nursing for awhile. The pumping is really sad, though - 20 minutes and I have hardly anything to show for it.
nickclick
"mr.period"... love it! aunt flo's asshole cousin.

so the pediatrician suggested we start with the rice cereal. 4 months! too early? she's growing up so fast......
zelda
Nickclick, we started around 5 months. And we didn't feed him every day. Just once in a while. Around six months we started bananas, squash, sweet potatoes, etc. We used organic Gerber brown rice cereal.

I have a question for moms regarding feeding, actually.

Elliott LOVES all baby food...we can spoon peas, apples, carrots, etc. etc. etc. into his mouth. He LOVES the pureed stuff, including the "dinners" with meat blended in.

But he really refuses all finger food. He's never been the kind of baby who puts stuff in his mouth...and that has transferred to food, too. He has great hand eye coordination and is very good at handling things with his fingers and hands, but he prefers to play with the finger food and then throw it on the floor for the dog.

When I mentioned this to our pediatrician at our 9 month check up last week, he said it wasn't too serious, but it wasn't typical. He asked us to feed him some chunkier baby food and make sure he can chew and swallow. He said if he could do that, it is probably just a behavioral thing, and he just plain prefers to have us feed him stuff. (Our pediatrician joked he was a "typical male" and wants us to do it for him...heh heh.) But he said if this didn't go well, he might need to see a specialist.

He said the fact that he doesn't feed his bottle himself is also a clue it's behavioral and nothing serious.

But of course I am worried. I ordered some chunky baby food online and I guess I'll try it when it arrives, but I'm scared he won't eat it. :-(

I also think the fact that he doesn't have teeth is one of the reasons he doesn't put stuff in his mouth.

What do y'all think?




Fookie
Hey Zelda,

I'm not sure I have much to offer, but I'll share a couple of recipes with you that got BabyFookie eating chunkier foods.
(Our naturopath asked us not to feed rice cereal to him ... preferred barley then oatmeal ... i think because rice has a high glycemic index, it was easy for us b/c all the "flavours" are readily available near us, but i wouldn't have been overly worried to feed him any since people have been feeding babies rice cereal forever with no issues).

BabyFookie's first finger foods were gluten free (Nature's Path) cereal O's. He had to gum/crunch them. I don't make all his baby food, but I make probably about half of what he eats. At first it was all purees, and then I just started pureeing them less. His three favourites:

Peas, Edemame, Apple (about equal parts and add water/juice to thin to desired texture)

Red Pepper, Corn, Sweet Potato (steam them all. i add a bit of maple syrup to this one. and again i just eyeball the quantities. about equal parts.

Banana, Avocado, Bluberries (this one you could actually mash rather than blend to get a more textured version -- this is DELICIOUS btw. One cup blueberries, one large banana or two small bananas, and two avocados --- crazy good for baby's skin as well).

(these three are in order of most textured to least textured. BabyFookie's favourites are the 2nd and third. The first was an acquired taste).

Hope this helps.

We've just transitioned from formula to goat's milk. My biggest concern is that the formula packed a TONNE of calories compared to milk. I'm worried about making sure his calorie intake isn't plumetting now that he's not getting formula anymore.

BabyFookie's birthday was Friday. Today was SUPPOSED to be his birthday party but we just got back from the hospital ... poor thing has bronchiolitis (infection in his bronchioles). So no party for him sad.gif He's on antibiotics and we'll be begin administering puffers once he gets up from his nap.

zelda
Poor little Baby Fookie...I hope he is doing better soon! Keep us updated.

Thanks for all this info, Fookie. You are so good to make his baby food. We're so lazy (and such poor chefs) that I order Earth's Best brand...it's organic, so I feel good about that, but all those jars are so wasteful, and I'm sure I could smash up some bananas if I tried. Maybe I will give one of your recipes a try!

Over the past few days, I've been observing Elliott's habits in terms of putting stuff in his mouth. He really doesn't do it often, but it's not like he NEVER does it. I'm going to try and stop worrying so much and just let him go at his own pace.

There is such pressure on kids today with regard to milestones. My mom was telling me the other day how she didn't speak a word until she was 2 years old. Nowadays it would be all about sending you to a specialist, but back then my grandmother just figured she would speak when she was ready, and she did!
jenny_dreadful
Speedy drive by from me. Archie is coming up on 15 months and eating has been fraught for us. He has only in the last month started accepting a spoon, he has been pretty much entirely milk fed his whole life up until this point. We've been seeing a nutritionist who while supportive hasn't really given us much advice beyond telling us to cut his milk down, which we have done. I just really really think he wasn't ready for solids before now. He never really put anything in his mouth until the last couple of months, other than rice cakes (which he has always been interested in but has gummed rather than eaten). He seems to be getting it now, but he prefers sweet tastes. I spent the weekend batch cooking various recipes, but so far he's shown no interest in the savoury flavours to compare with his sudden love of baby porridge.

Get well soon Baby F!
julie124
about the eating thing....zelda, glad to hear that you are trying to relax and just let him do his thing. Henry hasn't had an issue with finger foods, but my older niece and my nephew both were slow on the solid food thing. (My brother jokes that his youngest is their only "normal" kid because she eats baby food like it's going out of style and she's the only one who crawled before walking.) What seems to have worked for my niece and nephew is exactly what you said you are trying to do - just offer him stuff and let him go at his own pace.

If you want to try some new stuff, you might just experiment with different chunky-ish foods. What he can handle will depend in part on how many teeth he has and how good he is with chewing and swallowing, but some things Henry has enjoyed include oatmeal (don't even need special "baby" oatmeal), the little puffs that HappyBaby makes (melt in the mouth), pieces of cut-up or mashed avocado, mashed/cut up banana, plain yogurt (Henry likes the Greek style yogurt especially), or pieces of really ripe pear.

You can talk me off the ledge during one of my occasional "omigod, is Henry going to have a language delay? Why isn't he talking" personal freakout sessions.

Get well soon Baby F! Poor little pookie....
nickclick
hope baby fookie is feeling well..... happy birthday, nonetheless!

Lillian accepts the spoon of organic brown rice cereal mush, but does not swallow. she just keeps her mouth open with this - what the hell is in my mouth - face, and then dribbles it out. so we keep trying a few spoonfuls this week. next week we'll try some fruit. that's gotta be yummier. but i won't push it.

milestones making me a bit crazy, it's true! our neighbor told us that her daughter was crawling at 4 months (Lillian is 4 1/2 months and not crawling). and neighbor's daughter is going to Brown in september. oh no, is Lillian not going to get into an ivy league school??????????????????
Fookie
Ha ha ha. This made me laugh. I'm always mentally checkmarking "milestones" against those in books and those of my friends' kids. I don't even WANT to do this, it just happens. Gah! We truly look for ways to make ourselves crazy, don't we?

Crawling is not even technically a milestone since so many babies never "do" crawling. Baby Fookie didn't crawl until almost months and is ahead of the milestone game in every category. And if your neighbour's baby is old enough to be going to Browns, there's a good chance your neighbours have had ample time to forget when she actually crawled or to aggrandize her accomplishments. I swear I have to stop and do the math whenever someone asks me when Baby F started crawling etc. And he started crawling at the end of November ... I can't imagine remembering whether it was 8 months, 9 months, or 4.5 months some 17 years from now!

Thanks for all the well-wishes for Baby F. He is well on the way to kicking the nasty bug (though I woke up with laryngitis from all the coughing I did this weekend. Feeling a bit better now though.).

stargazer
Just stopping by to wish all the Bustie mamas Happy Mother's Day!
Michelina
Happy Belated Mothers Day to all of the Bustie Moms! Hope your day was wonderful!

Someone had mentioned a book a little while ago about little girls and the princess obsession. I am intrigued now that I have a daughter. What was the name of that book? I could look through the thread, but I don't have much spare time anymore. :-)
nickclick
Happy belated Mother's Day to all!

that book is on my to-read list too.
Cinderella Ate My Daughter: Dispatches from the Frontlines of the New Girlie-Girl Culture
Michelina
Thanks, Nickclick. It's definitely on my list too!
sukouyant
I immediately thought of you guys when I saw this:

Go the F*** to Sleep

The cats nestle close to their kittens now.
The lambs have laid down with the sheep.
Youíre cozy and warm in your bed, my dear.
Please go the fuck to sleep.

The windows are dark in the town, child.
The whales huddle down in the deep.
Iíll read you one very last book if you swear
Youíll go the fuck to sleep.

The eagles who soar through the sky are at rest
And the creatures who crawl, run, and creep.
I know youíre not thirsty. Thatís bullshit. Stop lying.
Lie the fuck down, my darling, and sleep.

The wind whispers soft through the grass, hon.
The field mice, they make not a peep.
Itís been thirty-eight minutes already.
Jesus Christ, what the fuck? Go to sleep.

All the kids from day care are in dreamland.
The froggie has made his last leap.
Hell no, you canít go to the bathroom.
You know where you can go? The fuck to sleep.

The owls fly forth from the treetops.
Through the air, they soar and they sweep.
A hot crimson rage fills my heart, love.
For real, shut the fuck up and sleep.

The cubs and the lions are snoring,
Wrapped in a big snuggly heap.
How is it you can do all this other great shit
But you canít lie the fuck down and sleep?

The seeds slumber beneath the earth now
And the crops that the farmers will reap.
No more questions. This interviewís over.
Iíve got two words for you, kid: fucking sleep.

The tiger reclines in the simmering jungle.
The sparrow has silenced her cheep.
Fuck your stuffed bear, Iím not getting you shit.
Close your eyes. Cut the crap. Sleep.

The flowers doze low in the meadows
And high on the mountains so steep.
My life is a failure, Iím a shitty-ass parent.
Stop fucking with me, please, and sleep.

The giant pangolins of Madagascar are snoozing.
As I lie here and openly weep.
Sure, fine, whatever, Iíll bring you some milk.
Who the fuck cares? Youíre not gonna sleep.

This room is all I can remember.
The furniture crappy and cheap.
You win. You escape. You run down the hall.
As I nod the fuck off, and sleep.

Bleary and dazed I awaken
To find your eyes shut, so I keep
My fingers crossed tight as I tiptoe away
And pray that youíre fucking asleep.

Weíre finally watching our movie.
Popcornís in the microwave. Beep.
Oh shit. Goddamn it. Youíve gotta be kidding.
Come on, go the fuck back to sleep.
funnybird
Ooh, is that the book that's just been published and gone straight to #1 on the Amazon bestsellers list? I remember reading about it earlier in the week. Having just spent 70 minutes feeding the little guy to sleep, I can identify...

How's everyone doing? Michelina, how are you finding motherhood?

Babybird is now 6 months old. Can you believe it? He rolls over, he can pass toys from one hand to the other, and last week he got his first tooth. I'm still breastfeeding him, but we started introducing solids a few weeks ago. We're taking the baby-led approach; letting him feed himself with finger foods rather than purees. It's lots of fun watching him mash banana into his ear and poke carrot sticks up his nose before he finds his mouth.

Architect Boy is fully recovered and back at work full time now. My favourite part of the day is when he arrives home and seeing how happy he and the baby are to see each other again. So cute!

nickclick
happy halfaversary Babybird! and wonderful news about Architect Boy.

Lillian is 6 months too. she is a goofball supreme. she loves to hear her voice, so there's lots of cooing and babababa-ing and squealing and screaming around here. love it!
nickclick
oh so what do you think about this?

Parents keep child's gender secret

i think it's good in theory, but until children can understand what they're protesting, it could be harmful.
Joanneyy
QUOTE(funnybird @ May 24 2011, 01:51 PM) *
Ooh, is that the book that's just been published and gone straight to #1 on the Amazon bestsellers list? I lingerie remember reading about it earlier in the week. Having just spent 70 minutes feeding the little guy to sleep, I can identify...

How's everyone doing? Michelina, how are you finding motherhood?

Babybird is now 6 months old. Can you believe it? He rolls over, he can pass toys from one hand to the other, and last week he got his first tooth. I'm still breastfeeding him, but we started introducing solids a few weeks ago. We're taking the baby-led approach; letting him feed himself with finger foods rather than purees. It's lots of fun watching him mash banana into his ear and poke carrot sticks up his nose before he finds his mouth.

Architect Boy is fully recovered and back at work full time now. My favourite part of the day is when he arrives home and seeing how happy he and the baby are to see each other again. So cute!


Just stopping by to say awesome and how cute that must be to see
the kids loving each other!
julie124
The minute the news came out about that sleep book, another mama friend had sent me a link to it...and it got liked like nobody's business when I posted an article about it on Facebook. A lot of sleepy parents out there.

Love love love hearing about the kiddos (and funny, great to hear that AB is doing well!). I have to say, each age gets more and more entertaining. (Occasionally maddening - Henry has been exercising his will a lot lately - but entertaining.) It is the coolest thing ever to watch them learn new things. Henry is 18 months and getting new words all the time. Yesterday he saw the tag from the dry cleaners that said we had 8 items together and said, "Eight!" He dances. He loves to color but also to put the crayons back in the box and take them out again. He uses his toy screwdriver to try to fix things all the time. He gives lots of hugs and hilarious open-mouth kisses (it is so funny how one gets used to your toddler trying to make out with you). He loves letters and books and Elmo. Oh, lord, for awhile he said "Elmo" more consistently than he said "Mama" or "Dada".

The gender thing is tricky. I have been purposely picking lots of library books with female heroines in them, because I want Henry to enjoy reading about girls and boys (and apparently there's some conventional wisdom that little girls will read books with boys as the main character, but the reverse isn't true, so hoping that's not true in our case) He has some stereotypical boy toys (e.g. his toolbench) but we try to give equal time to his baby doll and his stuffed animals and his love of pretending he is cooking (a kitchen is in our future, definitely). I admire what those parents are trying to do, but I wonder if that just calls more attention to the gender thing and gives it more power. I don't know the right answer, though....I think we just have to be conscious of what we're promoting by our actions and words, and I think that will make a lot more difference in the end.
Fookie
Wow ... can't believe Elliot is one and Henry is 18 months ... (and BabyF is 15 months!).

Julie, the fact that Henry recognized an 8 ... has me a bit freaked out. We haven't started doing anything that might help BabyF do the same in a mere three months smile.gif Baby F is still saying mostly B words and they all sound about the same (though he points at the book, boat, bottle, ball etc. when he says "bah"). In the past couple of month's he's started pointing at things he wants (food, swings, etc.) and then pointing at himself in a very excited (CUTE) way. Which we can take NO credit for at all. (I'm beginning to think we may be lazy parents). He has been "high fiving" for ever and can point to his "nariz" (nose in Spanish) ... neither of which is anything we taught him (friends kids, daycare provider ...).

After a harrowing and excruciatingly painful and devastating couple of months we are on final countdown to adoption finalization. On April 20th we met BabyF's birth father for the first time, for what was framed as an opportunity to start discussing "openness" ... except that within the first five minutes something "felt" off ... and sure enough he ended up announcing to us that he wanted his "boy" and that he had a lawyer who was telling him that he had a 90% chance of winning the case ... our worlds dropped out from under our feet. All I can remember is my entire head getting insanely HOT and staring at the floor as he delivered his LONG speech and generously offered to have us continue to be part of BabyF's life as his aunt and uncle or "no. even his godparents." The social worker who dropped by our house a little later to check in on us, told us that the birth father had "incredible rights" and that we should prepare ourselves for the worst.

We came home that night, not knowing how to survive, much less how to act "normal" around BabyF. We called our realtor, we found a psychologist specializing in grief and managed to get an appointment the following day. We found a lawyer who had the kind of background that we felt was perfect for our case.

At our visits to the psychologist we discussed transitioning BabyF to his birth father. We talked about how, for BabyF's sake, we had to find ways to make it seem like his birth father was a good friend, someone we had no reservations about, etc. etc. And what items of BabyF's we would be handing over with him, to ensure his new surroundings were not completely alien.

WE CRIED. We did not eat for days. We stayed home from work, but kept BabyF's routine and brought him to daycare anyway (at the beginning we also did not know how to get through days with him, so daycare was a way of escaping having to act like everything was ok, when it was the opposite). I woke up in the middle of nights having panic attacks (I have never had such an attack). I remember having no control over the sounds coming out of my mouth. They came from a deep place and scared me (and probably Mr. F too).

We emptied our savings account and BabyF's education savings to pay our lawyer's retainer and future bills. We cancelled booked (and non-refundable) vacations b/c we couldn't begin to imagine leaving BabyF and losing out on what could possibly our last days with him. My mother saved us from selling our house by offering to buy ours as an investment and letting us live in it the duration of a trial etc. I can't tell you how insanely horrifying it is to think that you could lose your child simply because you can't afford the quality lawyer that is your only hope of saving him. (It is not remotely lost on us that BabyF's birth father's chances also relied on his ability to come up with money, and that a support system would be essential ... two things he does not have.)

We entered two separate 30 day countdowns where BabyF's birth father would have to submit documents and intentions to the court ... The first 30 days went by and .... NOTHING ... A small flame of hope started burning in our hearts (something we both recognized as extremely dangerous b/c neither of us thought we could survive another blindside if BabyF's birth father came through at the last minute). The second 30 days ran out yesterday. Again, with no other contact from Baby F's birth father. Our social worker was able to have a meeting with BabyF's birth father, where he provided a lot of social history. It turns out there never was a hire lawyer, just well-meaning friends advising him. Social worker says birth father had emailed him to say that he has come to the conclusion that BAbyF is better off where he is, that he hopes we won't paint him as a bad guy, and that he will hope that BabyF will look for him when he turns 18.

We are obviously ecstatic that BabyF is staying with us. Over time we have processed birth father's actions as desperation born of grief. He did not grow up wtih remotely the kind of family and/or support that would allow him to parent well right now, and it is heartbreaking to us that despite his lack of support and family, he is nonetheless able to recognize this. We are healing. We are no longer terrified and we do not think he is a bad guy.

Once the adoption is finalized (possiby this summer, but more likely this fall) we will reach out to him again and attempt openness through email (he lives far away) and hope for more in the future.

BabyF is making noise I'd better go get him.

jenny_dreadful
God, Fookie, just... wow. How insanely dreadful a time you've had, and I am amazed at how big hearted you are about BayF's birth father. I am delighted that the adoption is now nearly finalised after everything you and Mr F have been through, and I'm keeping everything crossed that there will be no further blind sides. I want to raise a glass to you all when the process is completed.

My Archie will be 18 months old in one week's time. He is saying 'gook!' for 'look' and pointing at everything, but mostly birds and planes. He also says 'eddeee?' for 'ready' just before he jumps off the sofa or tries to climb out of the bath, and walks around swaying back and forth singing 'row row row' to himself. I must get busy with numbers, I am very impressed to hear that Henry can say 'eight'!

Every new age Archie gets to I think is my favourite, I loved him so much at every age, but it just keeps getting better. I love watching his personality come out more and more.

We seem to be over the eating challenges now; Archie is eating three meals a day. He's still behind where he would be had he weaned more willingly, but we've been officially discharged from the community nutritionist, hurray!

My guilty secret is I'm feeling broody. I'm not in the market for another baby yet, although I hope we will have another one in a few years... but newborns are making my heart and my uterus ache, I just really look forward to being pregnant again.

Funny, so pleased to hear that AB is well and back at work.
nickclick
what an ordeal and a scare. (((Fookie, Mr.F and baby F))) just think about how your family bond will be that much stronger after the adoption is final. my glass will be raised high on that day, as well.

Jenny, i hear you about loving every age! i already miss when Lillian was so tiny and snuggly, but i sooooo love her wiggles, noises and expressions now. and i can't wait until she's talking like Archie and Henry.

and we're also already thinking about when to plan the next. my cousin just had her 2nd and her 1st is full-on terrible two's. that scares me. but i'm almost 36 and waiting too long scares me a bit too.
julie124
Oh my god, (((((Fookie, Mr. F and BabyF))))). What a horrible scare....my heart was breaking just reading about the situation. Thinking good thoughts that the rest of the process is without incident. Wow.

Before you worry that you need to roll out the number flash cards, I should tell you that until about 17 months, Henry wasn't really saying jack. He clearly understood things - he could sign things, and reacted when we would talk about certain things in a way that definitely communicated that he got what we were saying - but he pretty much said "Elmo" and "Mama" and that was about it most of the time. I've heard from other people that their kids had a similar experience: nothing nothing nothing, then all the sudden it's like word explosion. We have always done a ton of reading with him and lots of books with letters and numbers, and it's like suddenly it's all starting to come together. I about fell over the first time he said "eight" in context. He still floors me, because we've played with letters so much (his beloved LeapFrog fridge letters) and now he recognizes a few letters. "S" is his favorite because he likes to make snake hissing sounds.

Fookie, it actually sounds like BabyF might be a bit ahead of where Henry was at that age....he mostly relied on grunting (which he still does a lot...I say it's like living with a Neaderthal. Uh, uh, uh!). It probably helps that lately we ask him to say the word before we'll give him something (e.g. "If you want the banana, can you say "banana?") so he can't just fall back on the grunting and our telepathy to get by.

jenny, I totally understand the broody feeling. I'm not really in the market exactly, but I've definitely been thinking about wanting another one. Of course, it would be nice if I could completely wean this one - we're down to nighttime and first thing in the morning, but he's been super-into the nursing lately and I'm not exactly sure how we're going to call things to a close. My friend was telling me about a friend of hers who did it by going away for a long weekend sans kid, but I don't think that would be nice to Henry or to mr. julie. Part of me is almost thinking I might just wrap it up when I get pregnant again and the milk taste changes.
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