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thatgirlkelly
Dear Kelly,
You are still pregnant so I can't send you much advice about raising children, but I can give you a little heads up about the early days of being preggers. Firstly lets deal with the down side. You will be tired, more tired then you knew possible. You will have the power to nap under any circumstances...the kind where your face ends up wrinkled and the pillow/arm/wall are pooled with drool. This does not mean that you are lazy. You can't make dinner because wielding knives while under the influence of pregnancy is dangerous to you, your spouse and that lazy cat that shouldn't have been on the counter to begin with (it's really not your fault).

Just because your mother, "doesn't understand what all these women complain about" you are not using pregnancy as an excuse to: 1) eat like crap 2) avoid getting things done around the house 3) beg out of social events. The baby growing in side REALLY does cause emotional and physical changes that are sometimes hard to handle NO MATTER WHAT YOUR CRAZY (well meaning) MOTHER SAYS!

Oh, um, you will be constipated for 3 months. I'm sorry. There is nothing you can do about it. (well maybe if cut out the cheese addiction you seem to have acquired). You just walk that little ass into Bartel Drugs and slap that bottle labeled STOOL SOFTENER on the counter, head held high.

You are human.

You won't believe this when I say it and i have to say I'm excited to let you know....you will fall in love with your belly. I know I know, but trust me. All the years of hating your stomach to the point that no man was ever allowed to touch you there have amazingly vanished. There is a beautiful miracle in this that I hope doesn't leave you when finally deliver. Try and remember the feeling of Seth's hand caressing your stomach. His lips pressed near your belly button as he quietly speaks to his unborn daughter. You will look in the mirror and adore for the first time in your life your naked huge round belly, and some days this freedom will make you cry.

One last thing. You will think about the baby and the pregnancy all the time. Those women who never stop talking about it....while you don't really become one of them, you now understand. Because it is the most crazy whacked out experience you will ever go through and every single moment brings something new to discover, fret or notice.

Have fun! Oh, and buy stock in chocolate manufacturers.
-Kelly
beck
Good morning pregnant ladies!

Just had a scan and baby is measuring fine for dates, we saw its little face so clearly! 31 weeks today and weighs 4.4lb (although I know those weight estimates are not especially reliable). It's crazy to think it's nearly fully grown!

So that sort of draws a line under the scare the other week, although i still have one question for when i see the midwife which is 'can i have sex??' My Sheila K book says you should probably avoid sex and orgasm after a placental bleed, but i am going crazy here with the 3rd trimester hormones! I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times we have had sex since getting pregnant - we didn't have sex in the first trimester because of my m/c history, second tri was mostly too tired and just not that horny, but now my mojo has returned with a vengeance! i am sooo frustrated!

Not sure what i would write my pregnant self - i know that second time around i won't worry so much - first tri this time was scary but next time i will be doing it in the knowledge that my body is able to get pregnant and carry to term, which takes the pressure off. i'd tell myself not to worry about the morning sickness (my biggest fear before getting pg) and to enjoy it all. i have really loved being pregnant, although i miss drinking and steaks!
LoveMyPugs
*slips in*

Yo, Letter to Pregnant Self is FUNNY!!!

laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif

*slips out*
zelda
Here is my question to all you BUSTies...my husband and I are going to start trying very soon, and I'm wondering how long it took you to get PG with your first baby.

I'm 32, he's 41 and smokes dope, which makes me nervous (although he's willing to give that up if need be)...but overall we're both healthy.

I'm trying NOT to get frantic. I feel like I want to get pregnant right away even though I know that may not happen. I don't know if I should get a bunch of ovulation kits and try to time it or just have fun...I'm a real control freak which I know isn't a good thing in terms of TTC.

Any advice?
moxiegirl
HAVE FUN! It took 6 months with my first, and 5 with this pregnancy. That being said, my BFF got pregnant the first month out both times! Just depends. Enjoy yourself!
beck
zelda have fun and try not to think about it too much! the first few months i was constantly wondering and thinking about it, and my cycle became quite erratic (and i have always been like clockwork). i know it is hard but i would recommend not using ovulation kits unless you really need to know exactly when to have sex. We started trying in June or July last year and with a few blips along the way, got knocked up successfully in December. It is a waiting game but try and trust your body. I found it helped me to remember that however much sex you have, one month = one egg and one 'try', so don't feel bad if you don't get pg straightaway. the trying part was really hot - no pill, condoms etc...mmm smile.gif
moxiegirl
yes beck! exactly...totally carefree sex. Its god.damned.awesome.
thatgirlkelly
It also feels a naughty, which is totally hot. I mean how long have you been trying to NOT get pregnant? It's like being on a trapeze without a net, or running with scissors!

Had a scan and doc appt last week. They were able to see all parts of the heart that couldn't last time. Everything looks great.

Bought a crib last week off craigslist. The boy and I put it together, then promptly closed the door to the "nursery" so as to not get freaked out every time we walked by.
kiss_the_fiddler
hi all. i've sorta been lurking lately as my mom told me that if i can't say anything nice, i shouldn't say anything at all. so i've been quiet. sooooooo fooking crabby about still being pregnant. oh, well. the end is in sight.

i'm scheduled for induction tomorrow morning at 0800. i have an appt this afternoon and i'll know more after that. i really hope this is it and that i get to meet my baby soon.

fiddler
moxiegirl
((((fiddler and boy))) Induction is a long road, but I know you'll shine through! Remember, any good birth is a healthy mama and a healthy baby!
anoushh
Fiddler, it will end--I promise! Good luck to you and baby!

Zelda, it took me 2.5 years, but that's unusual. I was 40 when my baby was born, so you can imagine it worried me a bit, but we ultimately figured whatever happened, we'd deal with it.

Pot smoking can definitely impair male fertility, though. Just something to keep in mind.

Robert Winston (well known in the UK as a tv presenter but also a doctor spepcializing in fertility) said in his book that it's more important to have a "reserve" of sperm, rather than have sex exactly when you are ovulating. Sperm can live in the body for something like 48 hours, and also it creates an environment more conducive to fertilization. So if you are trying to get pregnant, have sex about every 2-3 days aroudn the time you are fertile, both before and after. The book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" is a fantastic book, for every woman, either trying to get pregnant or trying not to get pregnant. I'm convinced that without it I wouldn't have gotten pregnant. So I'd skip the ovulation kits.
kiss_the_fiddler
i'm sooooooooo frustrated! my doc cancelled tomorrow's induction. rescheduled it for another week out. i hate him.

fiddler
kiss_the_fiddler
ok, i'm asking for help here. anybody know anything to naturally induce labor? i'm 40 weeks, 50% effaced, and only 1-2 cm dilated.

i am going absolutely up the wall crazy. my mental health is in jeopardy here. i'm serious about that. nobody seems to take me seriously when i tell them my mental state. it scares me. i need to have my baby already. not only do i suffer from quite severe depression, i have other mental health issues that are going to kick my ass if i don't have this baby soon. i'm scared!

any physically, i'm dead beat. i have fibromyalgia and am in pain 24/7 with very little way to treat it whilst pregnant. that, on top of all the pregnancy symptoms has me in tears several times a day. i'm complaining, i know. i get to. i'm extremely swollen, to the point of my skin breaking down on my feet. the swelling in my hands has given me nerve damage and carpel tunnel syndrome so bad that i can no longer play the fiddle. i've been having contractions that are quite painful for weeks now. either my pain tolerance has fallen through the floor or nobody is hearing me. i'm so frustrated.

so, how can i get this dear little baby moving on out so i'll still be at least a tiny bit sane to parent him? any ideas or tips would be appreciated. thanks in advance.

fiddler
LoveMyPugs
(((((fiddler)))))


(((((hugs)))))


(((((labor)))))
beck
hi fiddler

i have heard acupuncture can be very effective, here is a google link. http://www.innerfire.org/mt/archives/2004/...cupuncture.html

but equally, i don't think that any controlled trials have been carried out to really be sure of its success rate. but i remember you got some relief through acupuncture for your morning sickness, so it might be that it would at least help you with all the other problems you're having?

all the others i've heard of on here and elsewhere:
nipple stimulation
sex/orgasm
eating pineapple
eating curry
scrubbing floors

but what do i know, i'm not there yet (more worried about baby coming early than late)

here is another link
http://www.treehuggermums.co.uk/articles/p....php?article=27

how many weeks are you now? i remember someone saying on here that it is nature's clever trick - making you so sick of being pg that you are no longer afraid of labour!

good luck!

ETA: sorry i just re-read your post and saw that you are 40 weeks
moxiegirl
Fiddler, seriously, have a very straightforward talk with your doctor, and get your therapist/psychologist involved if you must. The end of pregnancy sucks for everybody, but there is no good reason to suffer longer than necessary. Call the doctor NOW. Go ahead, i'll wait for you to get back. If he doesn't listen, you feel free to complain every minute of every day. We are here to listen to every minute of it.
kiss_the_fiddler
wow, thank you gals. i'll call my therapist and a coupla new doc offices as soon as they take back their phones from the answering services this morning. i'll keep you posted.

beck, thanks for your ideas. so far, i've tried nipple stim (ouch!). it starts ctx if they've slowed down but they don't keep up when i stop. i've been drinking cumin tea. ate LOTS of pineapple (yummy). put curry powder in all sorts of things. orgasmed (that's hard to do these days as my o-button seems to be broken). used evening primrose oil. been active. even made the baby a birthday cake (didn't work). i'll keep trying though.

i'll keep you all posted.

fiddler
thatgirlkelly
I hate your doc too! I think I would go for the jugular next time you see him. Did he say why he postponed it?

i have no advice for starting labor. Lots of old wives tales...eat eggplant...pizza from north beach pizza (in SF) things like that.

Sending Labor vibes your way.
LoveMyPugs
QUOTE(kiss_the_fiddler @ Jul 16 2008, 10:10 AM) *
even made the baby a birthday cake (didn't work).


WELL DAMN IT!!

If that didn't work I don't know what will?

laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif

I'm really just a lurker here because I'm not pregnant and don't have children but I love to listen to how your pregnancies are coming along. Just know that your are all in my prayers.

Fiddler - thanks for making me smile. you are on my mind today girl!! Good luck!!
beck
QUOTE(LoveMyPugs @ Jul 16 2008, 04:15 PM) *
WELL DAMN IT!!

If that didn't work I don't know what will?

laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif


laugh.gif

made me laugh too! at least you have cake in your hour of need! ((((fiddler)))) and ***labour vibes***
and as moxie said, you can complain as much as you like, ignore what your mum said about only saying nice stuff! vent all you want!

just back from the midwife and she confirmed that i should not have sex (or orgasm). aaargh! i'm so frustrated! first and second tri i couldn't have cared less but i am so horny now i think i might explode! what's a girl to do? i also have to take it easy so i can't exercise to work it off. what do the crazy abstinence people do? cold showers? it's gonna be nine long weeks...maybe my o-button will break too, at least temporarily. i was kind of thinking i could have lots of sex this summer to make up for the likely post-baby lull... sad.gif




pepper
fiddler, sweet, this may be little comfort to you now but when you look back on this it will seem like it took no time at all, or at least that it was worth every second! i promise. try to dig deep for some inner peace and tough it out girl, it WILL be over soon, but no sooner for wishing it so.
each time a resistant thought comes to you think instead about how your little one is taking exactly what he or she needs from you, from your body, of your time, and that you will be rewarded with a perfect, happy little being in a very short while. it's hard, i know, it is, but it's doable and i KNOW you've got the positivity to do it too! i've been reading along with you, you've got more than enough inner strength to get through this.

my mama scrubbed the floor on hands and knees when i was late and that did the trick. i think it is not so much the washing the floor bit as it is that posture and action so maybe a little gentle yoga stretching on hands and knees for you? you know that one where you arch the back with the head back far and then bring chin to chest as you round the back. gently rocking back and forth, towards head and then back towards feet i mean.

good luck! i know we're going to here good news from you soon!

and how was the cake? laugh.gif
beck
pepper you're back! i was wondering where you'd been smile.gif
anoushh
Fiddler, I totally agree with Moxie. Talk to them, with back up/support present if necessary. It's great that you understand your risks so well. That's critical in managing chronic health problems of any kind. It sucks that the people around you aren't paying attention. Can your partner put a word in for you? Do whatever you need to do. They should really be understanding that they can't let you fall apart now as you are going to need your wits about you when the baby does come.

Just as an FYI, a lot of the really uncomfortable late pregnancy symptoms go away RIGHT AWAY after the birth. Even though I had the tear from hell post delivery, I felt better than just before. (Except for no sleep, of course.) And at least then you can take painkillers other than tylenol.

Good luck, and you complain as much as you need to. I'll be thinking about you too.
pinkmartyr
fiddler, if someone made me a cake, i'd come out! silly baby. didn't blanche say that she did a lot of walking to encourage labor during the last couple of days? my childbirth class teacher heard an old wives tale that drinking a glass of wine will induce labor. i'll be thinking of you.

zelda, i got pregnant on the second try (try meaning the second month we tried, the second cycle). my bf is a social/occasional pot smoker. i'm 30 and he's 27. before you start charting and stressing, why not give yourselves six months or so to have fun and try to conceive? after that, perhaps you could look into charting and ovulation predictors. in the meantime, you can always arm yourself with lots of fertility information.

this week our prepared childbirth class started. saturday i went to breastfeeding class and learned a lot. we registered the other day, and start meeting potential babysitters tomorrow. next week i am going to start looking for a pediatrician. if it seems like a lot, consider that i'm a teacher and its the summer, so i'm off work. i waited to do all this stuff on purpose so i could focus. next week i also start writing maternity leave plans- that is really going to be an endeavor.

i have a question for US healthcare system moms- when your baby is born, and you haven't yet received an insurance card for him, how is he covered? i learned that breast-fed babies should see the pediatrician around the week they come home. do we have to pay for that out of pocket, or is it somehow covered? the baby is going to go onto my bf's insurance policy because he already has his other two children insured, and it costs nothing extra to add our new baby. anybody have experience?
pollystyrene
QUOTE(pinkmartyr @ Jul 16 2008, 03:48 PM) *
i have a question for US healthcare system moms- when your baby is born, and you haven't yet received an insurance card for him, how is he covered? i learned that breast-fed babies should see the pediatrician around the week they come home. do we have to pay for that out of pocket, or is it somehow covered? the baby is going to go onto my bf's insurance policy because he already has his other two children insured, and it costs nothing extra to add our new baby. anybody have experience?


As someone in a medical-field, with insurance background, your bf should talk to his human resources department ASAP after the baby's born and they'll start filing the paperwork. The baby should be covered from birth, but start talking to them now just to confirm that. As long as you have your insurance info, it shouldn't be a problem. All dependants on an insurance policy are identified by their birthday, not social security #, so you don't even have to have that. Re: paying out of pocket- that's probably the pediatrician's office policy. I'm sure it's a common concern/issue for your pediatrician's office- you should ask them.

((fiddler)) wow, good luck. As a non-child-bearing person, I have no personal advice, but I think all the tricks I've heard from girlfriends have been mentioned. Wow, the cake didn't work? I guess the kid knew he was gonna get it when you ended up eating it anyway- a little young to enjoy it if he came out, right? laugh.gif
neurotic.nelly
QUOTE(kiss_the_fiddler @ Jul 15 2008, 11:40 PM) *
ok, i'm asking for help here. anybody know anything to naturally induce labor? i'm 40 weeks, 50% effaced, and only 1-2 cm dilated.

so, how can i get this dear little baby moving on out so i'll still be at least a tiny bit sane to parent him? any ideas or tips would be appreciated. thanks in advance.

fiddler

hello fiddler,

I was just lurking and I read your post. Do some research on a North American herb historically used by the Natives to induce labor. Blue Cohosh. It can be drank as a tea or bought as a tincture. I used it while I wasn't pregnant and my period came down five days too ealy! That's when I did my research and realized I shouldn't be drinking it. Good luck!
kiss_the_fiddler
woo-hoo!!!!!

i have a new doctor. fancy this - my new doctor actually gives a damn! she cares about me. she's coming in on her day off tomorrow to see me. she said i can call her if i have questions. the old doc said just to go to labor and delivery if i had questions or concerns. she seems kind and available and warm. i feel so much better now that i have a doctor who actually cares. it's such a huge relief.

fiddler
anoushh
Whoohoo is right!

It's SO important to have a good care provider in pregnancy. Good luck on the appointment. That's such good news. smile.gif
anoushh
Also, blue cohosh has some potentially really dangerous side effects and isn't really recommended for anyone pregnant, in labor, or nursing. I'd be careful with it, especially as it's one of the more questionable herbs in terms of proven benefits.
swedishchick
Fiddler>>> As they all are saying, you DO get to complain, as much as you want! The thing they talk about here in Sweden (except for the already mentioned stuff) is raspberry leaf tea. I have no idea where you could get it, though! Have wifey run around in some health food stores for you! Best of luck and happy, happy delivery vibes!

I had my first real scan a week ago. (Except for the ones I've had when I've come to the ER with stomach cramps) Everything went really well, and the date estimation seemed accurate. The tiny thing is due Jan 22nd!

Still having stomach problems. Not constipated, but in constant pain. ER doc switched laxatives, because the one I was on supposedly irritates the bowels... Oh my! So why was it given to a person with IBS in the first place? *grrr* Still not eating properly, have lost weight. My BMI is now 18.8 = underweight... Bleh! Also got stronger pain killers, wooohoooo! I'm trying to get ONE doctor to keep track of all this and help me along the way... So far I've seen SIX.

pinkmartyr
pollystyrene, thanks for the insurance advice!

i hope fiddler had a good visit with her new doctor!
kiss_the_fiddler
oh, the visit with our new doc was great! she listens! she cares! she's funny! she's kind and down to earth and matter of fact. plus, my sweet likes her too.

my b/p was high so i hafta get it checked again today. tentatively scheduled for induction on tuesday if nothing happens over the weekend.

maybe gunna go swimming with shiny and shinybaby today. that will be fun.

fiddler
anoushh
Oh, Fiddler, that's so great! I'm sorry this happened at such a late date, but I'm so glad you found someone you really like and trust.

Enjoy the swimming. I could have lived in the pool for my pregnancy. And I can't swim and was afraid of water. That's how uncomfortable it was--overcame the terror! (I also took swimming lessons when pregnant. I still can't swim, much, but it was good. Kind of my "face the fear!" moment.) Anyway, the water is so great for pregnant peoples--you almost feel comfortable again.

Pink, yet another argument for national health care, right? You never have to worry about this stuff in civilized countries.
kiss_the_fiddler
well, i didn't go swimming today. instead, i ended up sleeping ALL day! it seems crazy how tired i am in nearly every way i can think of. my body is simply worn out, maxed out. I feel like my body isn't working anymore. oh, well. soon . . .

thank you all for your support.

fiddler
lapis
Fiddler, a glass of warm milk did it for me--and a rains storm helped. Your baby will come!
Pinkmartyr, I think you have thirty days to put the bb on but you have to check with his insurance. They usually bill me later. We had a homebirth and went to the ped's after 1 week--the whole family was stressed because her soft spot seemed too small--but that's what 43 hrs of labor can do!
kiss_the_fiddler
went swimming today with shiny and her kiddos. it was painful but fun.

came home, rested, then went on a very bumpy ride. OUCH! we'll see what that brings.

do i feel different? yes. i'm in more pain. oh, well. i'm in a pretty good mood for a change though.

fiddler
LoveMyPugs
fiddler - the suspense is killing me lady!!! biggrin.gif

*hug*
kiss_the_fiddler
we're scheduled for induction tomorrow morning. i can hardly wait. shiny will probably update you.

fiddler
moxiegirl
((((fiddler)))) May the pitocin gods smile upon you. And, may the epidural goddess rein supreme.
beck
good luck fiddler. ~~~birthing vibes coming your way~~~

so excited for you!!
pinkmartyr
good luck to fiddler!
shinyx3
fiddler is laboring fairly comfortably and i am on my way in to see her. will update as soon as i can post birth.
beck
eep! good luck fiddler! and lucky her to have you around too shiny!
anoushh
Thinking good thoughts for the whole fiddler family!
Lindsey
Yeah Fiddler! Congrats! Hope everyone in here is doing well. I have a question for everyone. I took a test and there was 2 lines that showed up before the 10 min time limit but the test line was soooo thin? Would this be an evap line? Positive? I tested early and late at night. So I know I didn't test at the ideal time. Any ideas? Thanks!
beck
Lindsey, the first day i tested it was really really faint, i tested each day after that, by the 3rd day after my period was due the line was dark enough to see easily. so, keep peeing on those sticks! Good luck!
moxiegirl
Yeah...go buy a digital readout test! Those lines ones drove me batty the first time around. Reading words "pregant" or "not pregnant" was tremendous! That being said, anything that shows up as 2 lines should be taken as a positive...

(((Lindsey)))
shinyx3
fiddler update.

induced yesterday at 900 am. pit increased to 40 (max amount) over 8 hrs with moderate response. two hour break from pit, then started up again. repeat of same pattern. let her rest and sleep last night for a few hrs. (she is wiped out) pit started again at 6 am today. just spoke with fiddler's wife and again this is a repeat of the same pattern as yesterday. they are not opting to use cytotec (not sure why). she is not progressing at all still 80%/1/-3. i think this will be that last try then they will likely section her this afternoon as her bp is really high.
moxiegirl
shiny...that is EXACTLY what happened to me...get that baby out! I didn't respond over a 4 day period to HIGH levels of pitocin and cerviadil and having my water broken. Seriously, get the epidural, get the baby out, recovery already!

(((fiddler)))
pepper
~~~happy fiddler baby vibes~~~

i am around, just no internets at home at the mo' so not very much me.

anyone hear from blanche since her new arrival? i checked and pm'ed but no info yet.

my sweet girl is a year now, can you even believe it! wow, i feel like i was just pregnant a minute ago.

hope all are well, big hugs!
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