Help - Search - Members - Calendar
Full Version: Pregnancy - all things good, bad, and otherwise
The BUST Lounge > Forums > Our Bodies, Our Hells
Pages: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90
moxiegirl
That's awesome! My BFF is due 4 weeks after me, and my SIL just had her baby- a niece! Yeah! She was amazing- labor and delivery at a birthing center in lieu of a hospital, and she did awesome. TOtally textbook- about 20 hours start to delivery. Both mom, dad *my baby brother!* and baby girl are great and totally healthy. We're taking moxette to meet her cousin-sister (in hindu tradition, your cousins are your brothers and sisters, too) this weekend. It'll be intersting...and a neat preview of her reaction to a baby.

beck
congrats on your niece moxie!

eyelet, i am UK-based and had a great experience giving birth in hospital here. i had planned a home birth but in the end was really happy with how things turned out.

the only thing i would say is that private rooms after delivery are not standard, in the hospital i went to (St Thomas' in London) i was lucky as i was admitted to the home from home suite (midwife led, for normal births without complications or anaesthesia), in there you get to stay in the same room for 24 hours and your partner can stay over too.

if you are in the hospital birth suite (consultant-led, if there are complications or you want an epidural), then you are transferred to the postnatal ward after delivery, where there are 4 beds per ward and visiting hours - still not bad, but might not be the standard you'd expect in the US (i don't know what you get for your money over there).

anyway, in my book the clinical care is great but you may not get so much in the way of customer service. and hospital food is not great, although to be honest i was so hungry after birth and breastfeeding that it all tasted delicious!

if you are considering it, i would recommend looking on this site to see how your planned hospital matches up


Healthcare Commission - maternity services

Check out the view from our room in the hospital!

http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd64/li...ck/IMG_0310.jpg
eyelet
Beck-thanks for all the information about UK care. I have looked into the facilities where I would be and they seem quite nice. Our family and friends over there are excited at the prospect of us coming over for the birth, and friends and family here are excited about the prospect of me not having to rely on the ER as my only option if something goes wrong. It truly is ridiculous that I've been paying $200 a month for health insurance for several years and can't get covered for so much as one blood test related to the pregnancy. I'm glad we have some options.
Lily_Anne
(cross-posted in Feminism)

A guy I know used the word disfigurement to describe pregnancy!

I was so mad, but at the time I kept my mouth shut because the conversation was actually about something else. I didn't want to make a scene. Regrets. Still thinking about it a week later, I'm more sad now than anything else.

Pregnancy is not a disease! Bodies are disfigured by terrible accidents or horrendous arthritis. But NOT by growing children inside of them, when parents are emotionally and economically ready. I know two gorgeous, sexy women who are 8 months along -- and many before them. God willing, I will meet someone to spend forever with and have a baby myself. How would I describe it? Wonderful roundness. Uncomfortable, maybe.

Beautiful. Radiant. All those cliches. Perfect.
moxiegirl
Yeah, I don't know if I'd go so far as to say disfigured...but as a lady who is 8 mos along, I'm not really feeling my sexiest anymore. I think its pretty typical to feel the hottest during the 2nd trimester, tho. moxieman couldn't keep his hands off me from like months 4-6...the whole earth-mother-goddess thing. Now, I just waddle. Its not ugly, but it certainly ain't radient. Unless i'm sweating from the extra weight.

smile.gif
eyelet
Not knowing the context of the conversation, I might write off that comment as just a poor choice of words. Maybe the guy really does find the look of pregnancy monstrous, but if he does, he's in the minority. I think most people find it kinda cute.

What is true is that pregnancy distorts the body in all sorts of ways and is a physical challenge that we undergo for the sake of having a baby when it's all done. There are a few women who find pregnancy to be a sexy time when they are the center of attention (one just told me that the other day--I watched my partner look at me and barely contain his laughter at knowing what was going through my head).

Most women I know, however, feel uncomfortable and gravity-challenged for much of their pregnancies and as a consequence don't feel at their most beautiful. Still, none of us would say we feel disfigured!
thatgirlkelly
The best part of pregnancy for me was that it was okay to be "fat". I've always been big and though I'm mostly okay with that, there is a certain constant thrumming in the back of the brain that told me I could not be sexy.

Pregnancy gave me an excuse to be big and it felt great, freeing and lovely. Of course it probably helped that I didn't really have the late pregnancy swelling.

heading over to hot mama thread to discuss the changeling that has taken the place of my placid little angle.
eyelet
Anyone else ever experience searing pain in the nipples? Feels like needles and or being burned, and it lasted for 30 minutes last night. I'm concerned that this might be due to having had a breast reduction ten years ago, but I also had a cup of coffee yesterday and saw something online indicating it might have been caused by that.

So I guess my occasional cup of coffee or tea is out (at least until I rule it out as the cause).




moxiegirl
eye- have your breasts been growing rapidly? It could also be related to growth pains. I'd call your OB and ask.

Christine Nectarine
eyelet, i've never heard of that happening before. I hope you get some answers, it sounds uncomfortable!

I’m here to share some pregnancy related excitement – we just found out my SIL is expecting her first! I’m really happy for them, and actually got so excited when they told us at dinner the other night, that I couldn’t finish eating! Kiddo is over the moon to have a cousin. I knew I was holding on to so much baby clothes and stuff for a reason!
eyelet
Moxie-I think they're growing about normally (2 cup sizes larger at 16 weeks). They started ample already, so it is a lot of breast to carry around. I have a note in to a midwife to find out if she has any ideas. I know the internet doesn't substitute for medical care, but reading around it sounds like it could be caused by sudden constriction of the blood vessels, so maybe getting cold initiated it and then once the pain started it just held on for a while. I'll check in if I get some concrete info on this.
eyelet
Oh, and congrats to all for new kids in the family. It's nice to have a clan.
swedishchick
Oh, wise and clever preggo chicas, I need to vent!

We've been going to these lectures tha past 2 weeks about giving birth, breast-feeding and other baby-related things. The lectures are held by the private clinic where we were planning to give birth. I'm writing PAST tense, because we've totally changed our minds. Now, we're considering the choice of normal, public health-care instead! This is mostly because of inside info that my friend has given us on the way they work, but yesterday's class was definitely the last drop!

(I should probably explain that in Sweden it's the midwives who you go to for regular check-ups and who help deliver most babies, if you have an un-complicated birth. OB's are only there for the most complicated cases and c-sections)

The class was held by this old, experienced midwife who has VERY set ideas about which is the "correct" way to give birth. She's also very un-feminist and tends to exclude the father, espescially when she spoke about taking care of the baby and attachment after birth. This makes me EXTREMELY angry, and sad. It's just "mummy this, mummy that..." My hubby admits to feeling left out during these classes, but he just writes her off as a moron and can leave it at that. Which I can't, preggo hormones and all...

I also react strongly to everything being so un-scientific. It's like you can never get a straight and logical answer from a midwife because it's just "In my experience..." or "Many women feel..." I want hard facts, not their opinions diguised as fact! I also feel as though many midwives don't feel a need to update their knowledge according to the latest and most correct research. I bet it wouldn't be like this if men gave birth!

I don't know if I made any sense at all... *le sigh*

happy vibes to all!
kissmeducky
Does anyone know a surefire way to determine whether or not you're preggers? I'm on a birth control where I dont' get my period, so I can't rely on that telltale sign. I know that birth control is 99% effective, but I keep getting nervous after many bouts of sex with my boy (without a condom). I look up lists online and the early signs are things that I basically experience on a day-to-day basis so I don't want to freak out based on that. And I really can't afford buying a test every time I feel a little nervous.

To be more specific for this mini-panic I've been having cramps, along with some boob tenderness, cravings, mood swings and headaches. If I still had my period I would wave all of this away as PMS, but obviously that's not the case.

So, suitable reasons for panic? How can I avoid this panic in the future?
eyelet
Kissmeducky--I don't know if there's any way to avoid your dilemma. This is my first pregnancy, but to me the symptoms seem an awful like PMS. I didn't feel anything that distinct until I was already about 4 weeks past conception (nausea).

I've read there are suppliers of very inexpensive early pregnancy tests that you can order on-line. They're cheap enough that they could just be a regular part of your routine each month. Otherwise, without the absence of a period to clue you in, you could get fairly far along without knowing.

Swedishchick-Just like doctors, not all midwives are created equal. Some have lousy people skills, oddly enough. Maybe in some cases they just get burned out.

I'm a big proponent of telling people in positions like these when you think they missing the mark. It might actually benefit her to know that she is alienating at least one student with her mommy-centeredness. It could be that lots of other people are having the same reaction but no one has wanted to speak up. I used to teach, and even though it was sometimes hard to hear criticism, if it was delivered in the right way, I usually benefited from it. Just an opinion.
sassy
QUOTE(kissmeducky @ Dec 30 2008, 09:45 AM) *
Does anyone know a surefire way to determine whether or not you're preggers? I'm on a birth control where I dont' get my period, so I can't rely on that telltale sign. I know that birth control is 99% effective, but I keep getting nervous after many bouts of sex with my boy (without a condom). I look up lists online and the early signs are things that I basically experience on a day-to-day basis so I don't want to freak out based on that. And I really can't afford buying a test every time I feel a little nervous.

To be more specific for this mini-panic I've been having cramps, along with some boob tenderness, cravings, mood swings and headaches. If I still had my period I would wave all of this away as PMS, but obviously that's not the case.

So, suitable reasons for panic? How can I avoid this panic in the future?


I'm in the same situation. I have been basically period free for the past 5-years because of my birth control. I have had a few "freak out" moments and taken a pregnancy test, but basically I *hope* that I would know if my body was changing due to pregnancy. There isn't much you can do. Take your pill, or whatever, on time every day and there won't be a big chance that you could even get pregnant in the first place.
eyelet
I was hoping to get through this pregnancy without any curve balls, but mine finally showed up. I have excessive water retention. At 19 weeks it's looking more like it should at 38 weeks. My hands are going numb and carpal tunnel has set in. Pressing a finger on my shin leaves a dent that doesn't go away for a while. I also had a weight surge and some protein in my urine. My feet are like little sausages.

The good news is, my blood pressure is still fine--even a little low. Still, the midwife is concerned that I'm a candidate for pre-eclampsia and she has me drinking liquid chlorophyll, lots of water, and protein powder drinks. My body is still holding onto the water, waiting for proof that I'm really not going to deprive it. I'm hoping in a few more days the dam will break.

I got cocky because I was feeling pretty well, and I let myself get busy and revert to my pre-pregnancy ways of working too hard, waiting too long to eat, eating too little protein and not drinking nearly enough water. My body set off alarms immediately.

So anyone else who's comfortably at the middle of pregnancy and starts to feel like they've got the hang of it, take my advice and keep treating your body like a delicate flower. I think the baby and I are both fine, but this experience is not fun.
generate
Hey all,

I just got the all-clear from my 12 week ultrasound, which I've been fixated on pretty much from the moment I found out that I was pregnant. I haven't told anyone other than a couple close friends and medical people that needed to know. Telling the parents tomorrow is going to be freaky. I'm a little worried, just because of the extra scrutiny that I'll be getting...

I'm 14 weeks now, and found out back in November when I was around 6 weeks. While not unwelcome, this pregnancy was far from planned. I stopped taking BC pills back in April after 15 straight years. I assumed that it would take a year or so for things to sort themselves out. Apparently not. Never take your family planning cues from alarmist articles in women's magazines!

moxiegirl
Hi Generate! Glad to see you here! FWIW, it took us 6 months each time from going off the pill to pregnancy...

Ok, got a question for you all...

So, we're at t-19 days till the c-section...WHOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! We've been discussing how to feed the wee lassie. I had a tremendous number of discouraging issues with breastfeeding moxette, combined with the fact that I really, simply don't want to breastfeed (anyone who knows me here knows that). So, we exclusivly formula fed her. She totally thrived, but formula is expensive, so I thought maybe a different route with this wee lassie would be worth exploring.

OUr thought, really b/c I don't want to breastfeed, but I want her to have breastmilk, is to pump and supplement. Do you guys think the LLL people would be helpful on tips and tricks, or more likely to try to "convince" me to breastfeed? The hospital grade pump is insurance paid for, so I can start pumping asap in hosp. Anyplace web related that you think might have good tricks and tips?

Thanks loves!
zelda
I want to wish all the Busties on this thread happy and healthy pregnancies for you.

I have a question for all of you on this board. This month, Mr. Zelda and I officially begin trying. I've been off the pill for three months, but we used condoms because we were going overseas for the holidays, and I didn't want to be pregnant and traveling so far.

Now that it's (hopefully) time to make it happen, I find myself totally crazy about it. I'm in my early 30s and Mr. Z in his early 40s (41), so hopefully we will be okay...we're pretty healthy, too.

If you could give one piece of advice about getting pregnant, what would it be? Should I try to get those ovulation predictors or not freak out like that? I fear that I'm going to be the kind of person who - if she doesn't get knocked up right away - is going to FREAK OUT even though two of my good friends had to wait six months before it happened for them.
moxiegirl
honestly, i'd do two things:

1. track your fertility- get the book "taking charge of your fertility" by toni wexler. we charted after 4-5 months both times, and that's when i got pregnant each time.

2. ENJOY the totally fReeBiE sex. its honestly a remarkably joyous, sexy time- when you're just not worried at all about getting pregnant, so you can focus on really just going for the gusto.

funnybird
Hey Busties! I second Zelda's request for advice. After three months of trying my uterus remains uninhabited. I'm definitely going to buy the Weschler book, as I have feeling that due to work commitments then flu bugs we weren't even getting it on at the right times for the first two attempts. I may also learn how to do headstands.

Zelda, I know just what you mean about freaking out. Although I KNOW that three months is nothing serious the irrational urge to panic and declare myself barren lurks at the back of my mind. I guess I'm just too impatient. I have my fingers crossed for you!
eyelet
Hey Moxiegirl- I did a google search "pumping breast milk" and it went to quite a few useful links. You must be about week out from your C-section now. Good luck!

For the two women trying to conceive, I have a strong feeling that getting off caffeine and getting ridiculously good nutrition for a few months prior helped me to conceive fairly quickly. I'm 42, so I felt I had to do everything possible to convince my body it could handle the challenge.

I also guessed correctly that I was ovulating at days 10-12 of my cycle instead of day 14 because my cycles are short. If yours are long the reverse would be true.

Note to anyone experiencing swelling too early in the pregnancy: the severe edema I reported earlier was due almost completely to not getting enough protein. I am drinking a protein powder/milk drink everyday now and feel energetic and well at 22 weeks. All the swelling is gone. Pregnant women need 80-100 grams per day and I wasn't getting anywhere near that.

Good luck to all with pregnancy and TTC!
moxiegirl
I'm 4 days out from the c-section! This time tuesday, they'll be wheeling me in. Or I'll be walking...I don't know where they do the anisthesia. At any rate, I'm very excited.

Good luck all!!
Christine Nectarine
GOOD LUCK MOXIE! that's so exciting. can't wait to hear about your new arrival when it happens! hope all goes well for you and baby.

good luck also to those of you trying to conceive - i have no idea how to make it happen, since for me it was unplanned and we were using condoms ohmy.gif but the only thing i've consistently heard from friends/relatives planning to conceive and who have consulted their doctor is to give it at least 1 year to happen before you start to panic. i can only imagine what the waiting must feel like, hopefully you can worry less and just enjoy lots of baby-makin' efforts!
beck
good luck from me too moxie! hope you have a wonderful birth experience and the pumping goes great too! i'm so excited for you!
Stone
QUOTE(car @ Apr 24 2006, 06:45 AM) *
Congrats to you jasmine... <BR> <BR>with my first pregnancy, I had an ultrasound at 6 weeks too, just to see "viability". I think given my fertility issues, they wanted to be sure...at that point all you can see is the sack and a fluttering heartbeat, but it is amazing! <BR> <BR>This pregnancy I didn't have an u/s until my nuchael translucency test at about 12 weeks. Anoush, good luck w/yours on Wednesday! I loved having mine because again, with Coop I had an u/s at 6 weeks but then not another one until about 18-20 weeks, so the one at 12 weeks was fascinating to see how much was already developed by then! Are you also having the blood work part done? Here they do a round of blood screens along w/the nuchael translucency, then a few weeks later do more blood work. I did all of that to alleviate the need for an amnio which I really did not want. <BR> <BR>I feel like the watched pot....every phone call and email I get starts with "So, still pregnant?!?!?!?"...its kind of driving me batty, considering my due date isn't until May 10! But now after all my fears of having another preemie, I'm feeling like I may just be making it to term after all. I've been trying to do a fair share of walking (1 hr at a time, 2 times a day) and squatting just trying to get my muscles moving again after so long on bedrest. The contractions are still coming and going - I'll get them every 4 minutes for 2 or 3 hours, then they go away, but they continue to be "non-progressive". I have another appt tomorrow, so we'll see. <BR> <BR>Meanwhile, as much as I am fretting financially about how much this bedrest/off work situation is affecting us (it is an additional 6 weeks, and we don't know how much, if any, will be covered by disability) I am loving how much extra time it is giving me with Coop.


Congratulations Car!
Michelina
Just wanted to introduce myself in this thread. I am a long-time lurker, and am finally ready to start a family! I am 31, Canadian, and just got married last month. I remember lurking around a few years ago and there was a trying to conceive thread, but I can't find it now. It seems to me that this is the thread people use for TTC - is that right?

Congrats to all of those who are pregnant, and good luck to those trying. We are going to start trying this month. So scared and excited!
thatgirlkelly
OHHHH Moxie I'm soo excited to hear how things went!
zelda
Good luck Moxie!!!

Hi to everyone TTC (Michelina and funnybird)...Mr. Zelda and I really started trying this month. I have a 28/29 day cycle, so we started getting busy on day 9 but then he had a stomach bug, so we didn't pick it up again until day 14 and have been going crazy since then. wink.gif

I was worried he would not be able to do it every day (since we normally do it like once a week!) but he is loving the free sex. Hilarious. I feel really, really thankful he is a cooperative partners since one of the things I've been hearing is that some men feel pressure to perform. I'm trying to be low key about it on the outside to keep him happy but inside I am freaking out, nervous, excited, etc.

It doesn't help that everyone around me is getting pregnant, either. However, a woman I work with who is in her early 20s took a whole year to get pregnant (month 12), and she is healthy with everything being fine. Even though I am so worried it may not happen, I am trying to remain positive and remind myself that it could take a while.

Did anyone have any luck with those ovulation predictor kits? I have heard mixed reviews...I am pretty in touch with my body, so...another woman I know used them and never got a positive, and she got pregnant anyway. I'm going to give it a few months and see what happens before going to them, I think. They may stress me out more.
moxiegirl
Kira Shanti Moritz was born on February 3, 2009 at 10:17 AM via c-section. She weighed 7 lbs, 6 oz and is 19.5 inches long. Compared to Meena, this is just slightly bigger. She is a beautiful girl, with a ton of jet black hair. Meena said her hair feels like petting the cat, and I think she was spot-on in that description!

We have had a good delivery and recovery so far here. Having a planned c-section vs. a long labor and emergency c-section is just night and day in terms of stress, recovery and experience. I felt like a person within an hour of Kira's birth, up talking, holding and feeding her. I was able to stay awake and talk during the entire proceedure, which took abouty 20 minutes, start to finish. When Dr. Katz pulled her out, we saw the umbilical cord wrapped three times around Kira's neck, which is amazing that she did as well as she had late in the pregnancy. Dr. Katz was very vocal that if I had tried a V-bac, she would not have tolerated labor for long and we would have been back at a C-section, but rushed and possibly not awake. SO, we were very relived that I decided to do a planned c-section! We're working on pumping and bottle feeding...but its a serious time drag, as we had expected, so we'll see where we go from here.

Meena seems entraced with her little sister, telling everyone on our walks through the maternity ward: This is Kira Shanti Moritz. She is MY baby. Aparently, Chris and i need to keep shopping around for one of our own! She's been in the wonderful care of her grandparents and Masi, although today she went back to school. I think our family will be just a lot of fun with two girls running around. With the additions of Talula, Vivian, and our soon-to-be best friend, I am just excited as can be to see all the fun and trouble this gaggle of kids will get into!

www.flickr.com/photos/chrismoritz
beck
CONGRATULATIONS! she is just beautiful, and so alert! and such a lovely name! so happy for you!
pinkmartyr
moxie, that's great! congratulations. i loved the pictures of your beautiful family. here's to a speedy recovery and low-stress days ahead!
Michelina
Congratulations, Moxie!

Zelda, I know what you mean about everyone being pregnant. I could hardly check my facebook account for a while without hearing that someone else was expecting. I am going to try not to focus too much on it, but I am a bit of a control freak so it will be hard for me to just let it go if we don't conceive within a few months. I know intuitively that 6 months to a year is very normal, but I am not sure that will make it any easier. We haven't even tried yet, and I am already worrying about worrying! Sillyness I know...

I don't know anyone who has tried the ovulation prediction kits, but I haven't actually asked anyone. I have used Fertility Awareness for the last 5 years so I am hoping that I will continue to know when I am ovulating. I could see it being useful for people who have an irregular cycle and no or subtle obvious ovulation signs. I am even debating whether I want to start checking my temp again. For avoiding pregnancy, I didn't even bother with that after about 6 months, but that is because my cycle is regular and, more importantly, it wouldn't have been a huge deal if I had gotten pregnant. Are the TTCers temping?
beck
hey zelda, i used ovulation peesticks for one month - it was while we were away over christmas and it was useful to know exactly when to do the deed, we were staying on someone's living room floor so wasn't practical to do it all day every day! buy them cheap on amazon though, i saved a fortune that way. good luck!

oh, and that was the month we got pg, by the way!
funnybird
I bought 'Taking Charge of Your Fertility' on the recommendation of moxie (congrats by the way, she sooo beautiful!), so yeah, I'm temping. And poking at my cervix several times a day, which doesn't seem to be behaving at all as the book describes. Truth be told, I'm feeling pretty down about the whole thing at the moment. With a non-conformist cervix is it any wonder that I can't get pregnant?
zelda
Michelina, it is like you are inside my head! Worrying about worrying...yup, that said it.

When you say temping, do you mean Basal Body temping (or something like that)? Do you have to get a special thermometer?

I get up like twice a night to pee, and I've heard you're supposed to take your temperature before you get out of bed in the morning...wonder if that would even work for me.
funnybird
Yeah, it's basal temperature. To get an accurate reading you need to have been asleep for at least three hours, so if you sleep from, say, midnight to 3am and get up to pee, you can take your temperature then. You don't need a special thermometer although a digital one is easier to use when you're semi-awake.

Cervix still not co-operating. Hmph!
Michelina
I definitely recommend a digital thermometer because you need to get a very accurate reading. Any one at all will do the trick as long as it has one decimal place (e.g. 98.2) Also, my digital saves the last reading so if you are taking it in the dark, you can read it once you are out of the bed and in the light. It's pretty handy. It wasn't expensive at all.
zelda
Hmm...I am wondering what is going on with me and hoping someone who checks this thread could offer some insight.

Mr. Zelda and I started trying for a baby this month. I've been a little bloated lately, but nothing super out of the ordinary. Yesterday, on day 25 of my cycle, I got some spotting in the morning. Just a little bit of blood when I wiped, and it lasted about an hour then was gone and has not returned. This has *never* happened to me...I never spotted between cycles (except for when I was first going on the pill which I'm obviously not on anymore, heh.)

I didn't know if it was my period or implantation bleeding or what. My period usually comes on day 28 or 29. I took a test this morning, and it was negative. I'm wondering if I could be knocked up or what...perhaps I tested too early.

I am making a promise to myself NOT to test early anymore. It makes me too nutsy.

Did anyone here have implantation bleeding?
ananke
After being told numerous times that I would have trouble concieving (or not be able to at all) I got pregnant within 4 months of trying and 12 months of coming off 6 years of Implanon (continuous hormonal BC) and no periods and nearly 12 years of hormonal BC in some form. So it happened a lot easier and quicker than we'd prepared for. I'm currently 21 weeks pregnant and beginning to feel less miserable. I really hated the first four months, they sucked.

I had a fair bit of spotting from week 4 - 6. Enough that I had an ultrasound at 5 weeks and at 8 to check viability.

The advice I've gotten from a friend who found it difficult to concieve was not to have sex every day (she phrased it as 'clogging up the works') and to not test all of the time. Chemical pregnancies will wreck your emotional well-being. Sex all of the time doesn't make it easier to concieve and can have really crappy effects on a relationship. Which is what we had done - I didn't buy any tests until my period was late and we had sex about ten times the month we concieved. There's a whole realm of obsessiveness and emotional pain around trying to concieve and the industry around ovulation test kits and whatnot doesn't help. Not getting pregnant the first few months isn't a sign of anything wrong - it's totally and utterly normal. Hell, up to a year is normal.
moxiegirl
zelda- that is exactly what happened to me with moxette. DO wait until after day 29 to test...otherwise, you'll drive yourself batty...well, its probably all you're thinking about anyway. smile.gif Think on it over a glass or two or three of wine. smile.gif

Michelina
Zelda, I have no experience, but it seems to me that if it's different for you, then it may mean you are pregnant. Waiting until day 29 to test is a good idea, although I can't imagine how hard it would be to wait! Good luck!

This is the weekend that we are starting to "try." My husband is a little freaked out right now. He is hoping for an April or later conception so that we would have a baby after his school term is over in December. I reminded him that nothing can be controlled. We could conceive in April like he wants, and have a baby during his finals anyway if he / she decides to come early. And of course I would be thrilled to get pregnant right away (and I know he would too, or he would insist we wait!) I am going to try my best not to focus on the "trying" during sex, and just have fun like usual. I don't want him to feel too pressured.

I think that having sex every second day around ovulation time is recommended, and no more. Does that seem right?
zelda
Thank you for the advice everyone! Moxie, I had a beer yesterday. I needed to relax!

Michelina, I have heard all kinds of advice about when to do it. Every other day, every day right around ovulation, etc. etc. The best (and most sound) advice I heard was just try to have sex three times a week. If you do that, you should be able to hit the right time eventually.

I tried not to put any pressure on Mr. Zelda this past month when we first started trying. I just told him it would be good to do it a lot this week, and he was all for it. He is nervous about having a baby, too, but ultimately he could not say no to a morning romp in the hay. Just have fun with it. I actually found having sex in the morning was best because our energy levels were high and of course it put me in a good mood for the rest of the day!

Ananke, I agree...I don't want to overtest and make myself insane. I have heard about chemical pregnancies, and I don't want to experience the heartbreak of a positive and then get my period knowing what happened. (I'd rather just not have known). Even though Moxie is right, it is ALL I am thinking about, I am never going to test early again. Just too crazy!!!

Will let you know what happens!
ananke
The second month we were trying I'm pretty sure I had a chemical - I had the same symptoms I eventually got when i did fall pregnant (midcycle nausea, boobs so sensitive taking off my bra nearly made me cry and an inability to handle the smell of raw meat). At the time I just figured it was feeling ick and it might be because of pregnancy but I refused to put myseld through chemicals/false positives. I cried that period though.

I think three times a week is a pretty good number, trying to get pregnant or not tongue.gif We managed it the month he was out of state for days 10 - 14. It really is a crapshoot and hard to predict.

I got to see my obstetrician again today, and the MU finally met him and we're both pretty happy. As much as I wanted a woman, the guy we're seeing is just so straight forward and down to earth and just easy-going. We don't need handholding, we just want info. He said to make a birth plan as detailed as we want, but that the less anxious we get, the better it's going to be simply because we won't have those preconcieved ideals. He mentioned a patient who had a long posterior labour, after a long pregnancy (as in over-term by weeks) but who was upset at herself for getting an epidural. He said it's always my choice, but over-conceptualising something that cannot be controlled is just going to drive me crazy. We also got to hear her hearbeat again, which was awesome. Apparently I'm feeling her kick quite early, but because my placenta is way up the back and towards the top, it isn't totally unusual..
zelda
Glad you liked your OB, ananke!

Boo hiss...I got my period today, right on schedule - day 28. I don't know what that random spotting was on day 25. Maybe an implantation that didn't take...maybe just spotting.

Either way, I am enjoying my wine guilt free, already planning for this month's trying. Trying *is* quite fun, I must say.
ananke
Trying is heaps of fun, and being pregnant has been awesome fun for me, sex-wise. Except when I was puking, that put a damper on things.
Michelina
Zelda, sorry to hear that this wasn't your month. I think that treating yourself to guilt-free wine is a great idea. It's my plan too if we didn't conceive this month (and for every month after that!)

Funnybird, the cervix is a tough sign, apparently even for physicians. You might want to focus more on the easier signs like cervical mucous and temperature.

We are officially done "trying" this month. Now it's just the waiting game. I am going to try not to torture myself with guessing, but am already thinking about it a lot. We're going away for our honeymoon late next week so I am going to try to occupy my thoughts with that instead!

I like the advice about 3 times per week... trying or not!
zelda
My best friend in the whole world found out she was PG today! I had this moment where I just started crying, thinking it will never happen for me. She is in her late 30s and has been trying for a long time, so she is deserved every happiness. I don't know what is wrong with me. Now I'm just at home, drinking and praying everything works "down there."

Trying to get preg is making me neurotic....
moxiegirl
zelda...when we were trying with our older daughter, our bff's got pregnant in like 3 minutes, and it took us 6 months. Same thing the second time around. Keep charting, have FUN free sex, and eventually, it WILL work. I totally understand where you're coming from...the first time around, I had this very odd mix of being overjoyed for them and pissed at my own girlie parts. The joy of it all, though, is that we now get to raise our kids together (older set are 2 mos apart; these next set are going to be 4 weeks or so apart...she's at week 37 now). Partake in the joy of a new niecey or nephoid and trust your mojo to work. And, enjoy the wine. Lots of it. I know a former bustie who was so pissed at "trying", that she did escatcy (i'm a piss poor speller), and got knocked up that night!
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.
Invision Power Board © 2001-2014 Invision Power Services, Inc.