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funnybird
Oh Zelda, I'm sorry too that it wasn't your month, and that you're feeling so sad. Maybe your body needed just a little more wine before abstaining for nine months...

Michelina, it's not the position of my cervix that confused me but my cervical mucous, or rather lack of on the appropriate days (is there such a thing as TMI when discussing cervical mucous?). I know I've had the fertile quality stuff before, but this month (my first month of charting) my supposedly peak days were totally dry. I know that I ovulated from my temp readings, so I don't know whats going on. I think we'll have to declare this month a right-off, but I have a smear test booked for next month so I'm going to ask my doctor if everything looks OK down there then.

Anyway, baby vibes for you and a hug for Zelda.



zelda
Aw, thanks everyone...it makes me feel so good to read these notes. I've made a decision that this is the only place I am going to come talk about trying to make a baby. Everywhere else on the Internet is toooo scary.

I think the reason I was so bummed about my BFF is we had spent time discussing the whole trying thing, and now it's like she's in a different headspace (obviously). And she'd been trying for a LOT longer, but I keep thinking wouldn't it have been fun if we'd gotten knocked up the same month.

Oh well...so yesterday was a hard day, especially considering I'd recently found out two other women are pregnant that I know...making for three women in two weeks! Is everyone pregnant?! :-)

Moxie, funny that you mention the E thing and the wine! One of the things that is concerning me is Mr. Zelda's pot habit. He hardly drinks, doesn't smoke cigarettes, takes vitamins, and is otherwise healthy (40), but he smokes half a joint or so a night before going to bed. He got an old girlfriend pregnant in his early 20s (she terminated), so we know his boys worked at one time, but I'm such a control freak, it's like I want him to stop smoking completely.

But his pot is HIS version of *my* red wine; it relaxes him and, frankly, increases his libido! (He never gets stoned, just a slight high.) And it doesn't stop him from being an outstanding, hardworking husband and citizen...(gawd, I could not talk about this on any other boards).

I wasn't worried until I started reading about how pot can make men infertile, but then they say the same thing about booze, cigarettes, fat men, old men, etc.

I myself never smoke - it isn't for me...but my control freak ways are worried now. Because it didn't happen right away!

Do you think we should give it six months and if it hasn't happened, he should quit?

Seriously, thank you for the kind words, everyone. It's just been a rough week or so.
Michelina
Zelda, it was like you are describing my husband! He too smokes a little weed to "take the edge off" in the evening. He never gets completely stoned, and likens it to a glass of wine or two (which I enjoy). It does not interfere with his life.

I am trying not to worry about the pot smoking - infertility link... at least not yet. We decided that we would discuss it if I am not pregnant in a few months. I think that one would have to smoke a lot of pot for it to really affect the swimmers, but I can't seem to find any info on quantity smoked. I imagine that those men with lower sperm counts should stay away, but I know a lot of guys who smoke pot regularly and have gotten their partner pregnant no problem.

I hear you. I could not discuss this on any other board, nor would I even discuss it with the majority of my friends. In fact, the whole babymaking subject is on the downlow - just a few close people in my life know that we are planning a baby.
zelda
Michelina, are you inside my brain? I am so glad I found you...it makes me feel less lonely. Your husband sounds exactly like mine on this issue.

I know *many* men who have smoked a *lot* of pot and gotten their girlfriends or wives pregnant. I can think of five right now as I am typing this. I am trying to focus on that.

From what I've read, most researchers are saying that too much smoking can send a man into infertility *if* he was already borderline infertile. Since I know Mr. Z has impregnated before (ha, that sounds like he's a superhero), I'm guessing he is fertile...and he was smoking WAY more back when he got his girlfriend pregnant. Now granted he was also in his early 20s, and he's 40 now (well, actually just turned 41). But I'm hoping that's a positive sign.

He has also agreed to cut back or quit altogether if I don't get PG in six months. I know there are those over the counter fertility things you can buy (Fertell?) that tell you if the guy is producing enough quality sperm.

We shall see.

Michelina
Zelda, I feel the same way. It's nice to connect with someone who understands.

As far as the pot smoking thing, what you understand is exactly what I understand. "Subfertile" men should stay clear of pot and booze while TTC. Until or unless we are concerned my husband is subfertile, he'll continue to smoke a little pot. He has never impregnated anyone so we really don't know! I think it would be fair to assume that your husband has normal fertility considering he did get someone pregnant even though it was a long time ago.

I try to remind myself that if all of these substances impede fertility significantly for the usual couple, there would be way fewer babies being made! I have even read that caffeine use may help the man's swimmers. So I guess they can have some weed and follow it with a big cup of joe! :-)

Has anyone used the pre-seed lubricant? It seems that few lubes are good for TTC, but that one is supposedly okay. It seems it can only be bought online, though. Funnybird, that may be an option for you if you are concerned that you arent' producing enough cervical mucous for conception. Sounds like a good plan to discuss it with your doctor.

And how are the Busties who are pregnant doing?
funnybird
I'd heard about the 'sperm gets buzzed on caffeine' thing too. It's good, because Architect Boy drinks about 10 cups of tea a day! His doctor also told him last week to cut down his alcohol consumption if he wants to get me pregnant. We were both fairly big drinkers before we started trying to conceive, not in a 'getting wasted every night' way, but in a 'social-life revolving around the pub / enjoying a nice bottle of wine' way. I've pretty much quit now, but he's still drinking quite a lot. He's never impregnated anyone either, but I don't think him cutting down could hurt.

I'm planning to get some Pre-seed. And some evening primrose oil and cough medicine with guaifenesin, which are both supposed to help with cervical mucous. I'm not leaving anything to chance next month. wink.gif I think unless I have some sort of infection, it's probably just down to stressing over trying to pregnant!

Isn't it a kick in the teeth that we can stress our infertile over trying to conceive?
zelda
We used Pre-Seed last month instead of KY, and it felt exactly the same. We liked it.

I question the fertility/stress thing sometimes. I know there is research to support it, but don't women in war torn and famine-ridden countries get pregnant all the time? I can't imagine a much more stressful situation than those two...
funnybird
I see your point Zelda, and my concern over why my cervix wasn't behaving as it should can't really be classed as 'stress' in comparison. Although out of all the explanations that I've found for why I could have 'dried up' like that, 'stress' is easier to accept than the idea that something is physically wrong with me. I guess I'll just have to wait and see what the doctor says.

Michelina, when is your 2 week wait up?

Is anyone else finding that folic acid supplements are making their fingernails grow super-fast?!?
Michelina
I hadn't noticed that about the FA vitamins. Speaking of vitamins, what are the TTC'ers taking? I am taking a regular women's multi and 1000mg of FA along with Calcium and Vit D. I figure I'll start taking prenatals only if I find out I'm pregnant.

I am currently on day 21 of my cycle so I have a good week ahead of me. I am noticing my breasts are quite sore, but they have been getting that way lately during PMS so I can't really consider that a symptom of pregnancy. Otherwise, I feel totally normal. I am not drinking at all during this time, but will drink on occassion before my ovulation date. I am trying to cut down, too, even then.
Michelina
Oops, meant to say 1000ug (1mg) of FA. I think 1000mg would be a little excessive!
funnybird
So I'm definitely not pregnant this month. Which is okay as I wasn't expecting to be, with my underachieving cervix and getting our timing wrong. March was going to be the month when I was all prepared and nothing could go wrong...

I've just checked my diary and realised that my parents are coming to stay with us on my fertile days. Gah! Maybe we should just give up and get a dog instead.
zelda
Funny, when I found out when my parents were coming to visit in May, I ran to my computer and quickly checked to see if they would be here during those fertile days...ha! And right now I have my aunt and uncle visiting, and they are leaving tomorrow (day 10), so they are leaving just in time! So funny the things you think about when you are trying.

Tell your parents to get a hotel!

I am sorry this wasn't your month for you...I am keeping my fingers crossed for future months. It *will* happen at some point, I know it.

I am trying the OPK tests this week...my friend (who got pregnant last month) gave me her leftover ones, so since they were free, I figured, why not. Today the faintest of faint lines appeared...we shall see if it gets darker over the next few days. Mr. Zelda is getting over a cold and is not feeling too randy, so perhaps they will help pinpoint the one or two days we can do it...

I am really, really glad to be able to post here. Every other board about trying to get knocked up scares the Hell out of me...
zelda
Huh...so weird...I just went to the bathroom, and I had a ton of egg white cervical mucus...I know, I know TMI (whatever). But my OPK test was barely visible...what is up with that?

It is only day 9, so...

Maybe I can talk Mr. Zelda into doing it tomorrow...I trust my own body over those tests.
Michelina
The whole TTC while family is visiting thing makes me think of a friend. She was staying at her in-laws house during her fertile time. She and her husband said what the hell and went with it (quietly of course!) and conceived that night. Yeah, not the ideal situation, though.

Zelda, I often get cervical mucous days before ovulation. I do agree that trusting your body's signs over a test is a good idea. And as long as the mucous is there, it is creating a sperm-friendly environment.

I hear you about TTC message boards on the net. They are a little scary!

Michelina
Funnybird, I'm also sorry to hear this wasn't your month.
zelda
Well, I got a positive OPK test today. On day 11! Much sooner than I thought would happen. I guess this means I ovulate on day 12 or 13? If that's what happened in last month's cycle, man, were we ever off! We got busy from day 14 on...totally missing the window.

We got our groove on tonight, and I think we'll try tomorrow and Saturday just to cover all the bases...and because it's fun!
zelda
How's everybody doing? Michelina, any word?

We are done trying this month now as well...I feel like we really covered the bases, but I know it could take months of trying, so I am just enjoying myself, and Mr. Zelda is, too.

One thing I tried to do this month is stay on my back after getting busy, and I put a pillow under my butt. Who knows if it does any good, but I figure it can't hurt?
Michelina
Zelda, it sounds like you two have the right attitude! We will have to adapt that attitude too. I got my period today, right on schedule.

The pillow thing couldn't hurt. I think I'll try that this month.
zelda
Hey, Michelina...sorry this wasn't your month. I know how disappointed I was last month, especially since my best friend found out she was pregnant right around the same time I got my period. I've decided I'm going to let myself be disappointed for one or two days, and then no more. I'm also just living my life like normal...drinking, eating whatever...I am taking prenatals, but I don't want to become obsessive.

A woman I worked with was trying to eat and live like she was already pregnant...finally she stopped and started acting like her old self again and got pregnant...on the 12th month of trying! And she is in her 20s. It really can take a long time, unfortunately.

So funny to look back on the teen years when we were taught to believe that getting pregnant was soooo easy. I wish!
moxiegirl
well, for my brother and SIL and my BFFs, pregnancy happened the second a sperm even got a little fishy look at the egg...for some people, it DOES happen that fast. Bastards.

Said BFF just delivered the newest addition to our family on Monday, though- so, I guess I shouldn't complain that they get preggo fast!
Michelina
Zelda, I think I am going to also live my life normally while TTC. This last month I didn't drink at all after ovulation, but hell, what could a glass of wine or two really hurt during that time? Implantation doesn't even occur until about 10 days after ovulation, I believe. I probably will avoid getting drunk during that time, but maybe I need to be a little less obsessive. Vitamins, absolutely.

Moxie, I know people like that too. At least 3 of my friends got pregnant the first try. One got pregnant TWICE on the first try. The other friends are all across the board. One took nearly 3 years, another over 1, another 6 months, and one tried for a year and quit for a while. She still isn't pregnant to my knowledge. I could live with 6 months to a year of TTC (although it would be frustrating!), but have to admit that by a year, I would start getting worried that it's just not going to happen.

zelda
Last night I had a margarita when out with friends and tonight I'm enjoying a cocktail. I am definitely going to live my life...if I'm pregnant, oh well, I will stop when I know in another week or so, but I'm taking Moxie's advice (thanks, Moxie) until then.

I am enjoying the freebie sex...even sex outside the "window" is better for some reason. I am just trying to enjoy our time together and have faith.

I only know one woman (my cousin) who conceived on the first try. Most of my friends conceived between 4 to 6 months and a few took longer. So I am perfectly ready to wait although I, too, hope it happens by the sixth month.

Because of my husband's nightly dope, after six months we may do a Fertell thing (OTC) just to see how that is, but I'm not going to touch that topic until then. I feel that at 32 I do have *some* time, and all signs show I am ovulating normally, so.....

zelda
Ugh...this is the worst time of TTC...the week before my period is supposed to come. I start feeling anxious.

I am on day 21 and already wondering...

I hope it doesn't take a year! Moxie, how on Earth did you do it? (Let me guess...red wine?) wink.gif
Michelina
Zelda, I totally hear you. I have been wondering how I'll manage this period of time myself. I am not at all good with just "letting things happen," and as this is something I have no control over, it could drive me mad! I wish you good luck in your next week of waiting! Moxie, I too would like to hear how you coped.

Also, Zelda, what did you mean by the OTC thing you may try? Do you mean the sperm test or the vitamin? That sperm test looks pretty interesting, but I wonder how easily the lay person could actually analyse it. Here is a link.

http://www.early-pregnancy-tests.com/spermtest.html
zelda
Hi, Michelina...I had actually not heard of that test...I have heard of this one: www.fertell.com (sorry, don't know how to make links). It seems a LOT easier and more straightforward than the one you linked to, although that one might be better.

I'm such a nut. This is only our second month of trying, and I'm a spaz. I've got to stop being such a spaz! :-)

What vitamin are you talking about? I am having Mr. Zelda take a men's multi with Vitamin C (which is supposed to help sperm production)...

I go up and down with my anxiety...some days I'm fine with everything and even think it'll be just fine if it takes a year to get pregnant (I am *so* enjoying my free time recently...I completed my master's in the fall). Then something makes me freak out...like seeing a pregnant woman or talking to a pregnant friend. And I become a spaz again.

It really helps to hear I am not the only one.
funnybird
Well, as someone now on moth five of trying, I guess I can consider myself an old hand at the two week wait. I'm definitely more philosophical about the whole thing than I was at first. The first TWW was torture, mainly because we thought that abandoning contraception and getting busy around day 14 would be enough. We've been learning since then about the importance of timing, cervical mucous etc. and getting my period is a time for reflection on what we might have got wrong that month.

I know it's easier and more straightforward for some couples (some friends of ours decided to abandon contraception as soon as they were married, and conceived on their honeymoon. Envious? Hell yeah!), but we're obviously going to have to work a little harder. I asked Architect Boy how he felt about the whole thing the other day, and he replied that it had "definitely been a steep learning curve". True to his character he's being quite phlegmatic, which is helping to keep my more neurotic "omigodi'mbarren" instincts in check. How do Misters Zelda and Michelina feel about things?

On Sunday I had a ferocious attack of cystisis (which I fear may have been a reaction to the pre-seed we were experimenting with). I'm now taking antibiotics, which the nurse assured me were baby-friendly, but whether I actually feel up to trying is another matter dry.gif

I also have my smear test this afternoon, then my parents arrive on Thursday. I certainly won't be too surprised if this isn't "our month" either...

Fingers crossed or you Zelda, and baby-making vibes for Michelina~~~


zelda
Funnybird, you do have a marvelous sense of humor (intentional or not), and I have a feeling that attitude is beneficial for your situation. Not that you haven't gone through rough moments, I'm sure, but I think keeping a sense of humor about the whole thing can only help.

I, too, sort of thought that by simply abandoning BC we would get pregnant the first month - not helped by the fact that I had that weird spotting (which I thought was perhaps implantation bleeing). Now I realize with the OPK tests that we started trying way too late...by day 14 I had most likely already ovulated.

Mr. Zelda is being super relaxed and normal about it, and I have been pretty good about staying away from telling him the details of my OPK tests or mucus...he's the type that might get more anxious if I overshare.

Right now he is confident we will get pregnant in time. When I was disappointed the first month (last month!), he was like, (in a sweet voice), "You didn't really expect it to happen the first time, did you?" Of course like most women, I did! Such is the result of adolescence when it's drilled into you that you can get pregnant the moment a penis walks into the room.

Hope your cystitis clears up soon, and if this isn't your month, that next month is!
zelda
PS...and funny, I wanted to add something...I don't think you should feel you did anything "wrong" every month. Of course it's good to know about timing and mucus (like I said, the first month we were wrong about our timing), but try to not beat yourself up. Even if everything is perfect, it may not happen that particular month because of circumstances outside our control...e.g. the sperm just doesn't make it there, or the egg disintegrates too soon or whatever...just wanted to say that so you don't always feel like it's your fault. I think we can only do so much, and then we just have to leave it up to the fates, I suppose! :-)
Michelina
Mr. M. is also pretty relaxed about the whole thing, and is assured that we will have a baby. He has a friend who recently shared that it took them 6 months to conceive so he is being pretty realistic. He was nothing more than a tad disappointed the first month we tried. I think that being crampy and menstrual makes it that much worse for the woman. We are gearing up for our second month of trying... this weekend!

Funnybird, how did the doctor appointment go? I hope that the cystitis is clearing up.

Zelda, you must be getting close to the end of your two weeks now. How are you handling it? Your comment about the penis walking into the room made me laugh. It's so true!
zelda
Hi, Michelina...sounds like Mr. M and Mr. Z are on the same page...(maybe it's the pot, ha ha).

I am on day 24/25. Not really sure when you count day 1 if your period starts in the evening. Does anyone know?

I am pretty sure I am not pregnant. I have zero symptoms and feel totally normal. The one thing I can be sure of from this cycle is that I learned when I ovulate. That's important. Now we can focus on the right time window for future months...we were trying from days 14 to 17 or so the first month we tried...from my body symptoms and OPK test, I figured out days 10 to 14 or so are a much better time for us, and even day 14 may be a little late.

The earliest my period has come has been day 27...the latest is day 29. I guess if it doesn't come by Monday, I'll test, but I really don't think this was our month. But I'm glad I did the OPK test because I learned something.

Today is our wedding anniversary. Three years of wedded bliss heh heh. Mr. Zelda came home with the sweetest card and flowers...makes me realize how lucky I am. He really is a terrific guy...the baby thing will happen when it should...just have to keep the faith and be grateful that I have him in my life.

Has anyone else looked at the bizarre lingo on other TTC boards/threads? They don't say "having sex" or "doing it" they say "baby dance." WTF? What is wrong with just talking about sex? Freaky.
zelda
Oh, and they don't say period or menstruation, either...they use AF for "Aunt Flo." Huh? Period, period, period, sex, sex, sex...are we three years old?
Michelina
Happy (belated) anniversary, Zelda!

I am not sure when to count your cycle, but I would probably count day 1 as the day you got your period even though it was in the evening.

I have looked on those other websites more out of curiousity (and sometimes for kicks) than for information. My favorite question was someone asking if her bf's sperm perhaps weren't yet "trained" well enough to find the egg. And all the abbreviations drive me crazy too. I actually thought BD was for "bad deed!" I am glad to hear that it's not that bad!!!

ananke
Well, I had my first pregnancy nightmare and woke up crying. And needing to pee. By the time I got back to bed I was sobbing outright and my poor husband nearly had a heart attack (pregnant wife + toilet + crying = OH FUCK). It was pretty vicious and I spent the whole day crying randomly. Which is awesome when you're at work...

BUT I talked to a workmate and she said she had bad nightmares through most of her second pregnancy - and she knew what I was talking about when I said I have never felt less safe or more vulnerable. She reckons that's what most of the dreams are about, that your entire life changed and you will never be able to be the person you were. You will always have this child to care for, to live with.

I think I kinda pissed off a friend of mine though - she's so freaking optimistic about it and it's kinda annoying because she has that whole 'follow the rules and everything will work out' even though she KNOWS about miscarriage rates and knows women who've miscarried and taken a long time (or never) to get pregnant. She's so freaking gung ho about it all and it's like any negative feelings or fear aren't okay because she doesn't want to think about the possibility she won't get pregnant as soon as she wants. So last time we were talking I was a little...brutal? About how fucking nerve-wracking and terrifying the whole thing is. That this isn't a fucking reward. I wasn't mean, i just can't stand this idea that because I did everything right I got pregnant and someone else didn't and I kept my baby but she didn't because I did something special and right.

Christ I'm overly emotional at the moment.
zelda
Ananke, I hope you feel better soon. My BFF who is pregnant had a scare recently with some light spotting (everything turned out to be fine), but I didn't try to be overly optimistic or simplistic with her...and you're right, getting PG or not getting PG isn't a reward for being good or bad...there is no reason. Some pretty horrible, awful people get pregnant, and some great people who could be amazing parents can't. I try to find reasons for everything, but that's one that befuddles me. My mom's best friend's daughter is this amazing woman, and she and her husband have so much to give, and they have unexplained infertility and are right now in the middle of international adoption insanity...doesn't make sense to me.

By the way, my BFF also had a pregnancy nightmare where she put a tiny baby in a shoebox and dropped it. I wonder if nightmares are common.

My period started today. I am bummed but not surprised. I didn't feel pregnant in any way, and even though Mr. Z and I timed it right, I know that doesn't mean anything.

I am working up the nerve to ask Mr. Z if he would mind trying the OTC Fertell thing to check his sperm. It's only because of the pot thing. I know it's nutty, but part of me wants to be able to relax and enjoy this TTC thing, and I had a talk with a good friend (a nurse) the other day, who told me that it very well could affect him more than we would like to think, esp. since he's 41. So I'm hoping he won't mind testing his jiz...(can't say THAT on any TTC boards!). Anyway, if it comes back okay, I can relax and he can keep toking. But if it doesn't, then we can take the necessary steps.

Do you think it's weird/nuts for me to ask him to test after just one month of really trying and timing it right?
Christine Nectarine
*delurks*

good luck to all the hopefuls and expectant mamas!
just a note on the dream thing...i had all KINDS of crazy baby dreams when i was pregnant, even before i knew that i was. running away from a terrible mob pushing a baby in a stroller with black makeup on his face...forgetting a baby in someone's house and the door was locked...etc...
i'm sure there are all kinds of theories about why this happens, but it seems to be a common experience at the very least!

also...baby dance? aunt flo? come on. that's weird!

hope you feel better soon ananke.

*relurks*
moxiegirl
ah! bd= baby dance! uck. in our house, the baby dance includes the baby...say THAT on one of the boards!! ha!
zelda
I've heard another crazy PG dream is when you're carrying the baby and its head falls off...more like pregnancy nightmare.

I talked to Mr. Z today, and he is totally open to trying the Fertell thing if it gives me peace of mind...so I ordered it. Of course then I go on Amazon and read about a couple of guys who had negative results only to go to the doc to get checked out and find out everything is just fine. Good grief.

Or we could just keep trying...
funnybird
I had a look at another online pregnancy forum, and was scared off by all the acronyms and euphemisms. Some posts seemed to consist entirely of indecipherable stings of letters, all of which went totally over my head.

I have crazy pregnancy/baby dreams all the time and I'm not even pregnant! In the latest one I had a baby boy who was only a few months old but could already talk. He told me that he hated me. Probably shouldn't analyse that one too deeply.

So we managed to get some "baby dancing" (ha!) in, despite my folks staying and the antibiotics making me feel like crap. I feel like we might have finally got the timing right this month, and my cervix has been behaving more as it should. Fingers crossed!

Zelda, I'm sorry it wasn't your month. I totally understand about wanting to make sure of your Mr's fertility. Trying for up to a year is all very well, but if we're not conceiving naturally for any reason other than luck/chance I want to know as soon as possible so we can look at our options, rather than twelve months of getting my hopes up then being disappointed.

Michelina, I hope you had a fun weekend wink.gif
Michelina
Good to hear from some of the pregnant Busties! I have always had pregnancy dreams... long before TTC. Some are positive and exciting, and others just horrible. I had a good baby dream the other night. It was a girl and she was very cute!

Zelda, sorry to hear that you are on your period. It's a bit of a kick in the teeth when TTC, isn't it? Good idea, the Fertell test. I am curious to hear how it goes for you. I am thinking we will try it too if it hasn't happened for us in a few months.

Funnybird, glad that you managed to "BD" despite the folks and meds. And yay for your cervix!

I still am not sure if I have ovulated yet. I normally can feel it, but not always. I plan to take my temp tomorrow to try to figure it out. My preseed lube finally came in the mail today.
zelda
I went to my GYN this past week for my annual checkup, and she said all was looks good. She suggested that Mr. Zelda and I DO IT (notice I didn't say Baby Dance) every *other* day as opposed to every day. She said that is good for his sperm production and takes the pressure off...

We're taking her advice even though I'm afraid it won't be "enough" although of course it only takes once! :-)

We started trying today, cycle day 9, because I noticed my cervical mucus starting to change. I guess we'll try for CD 11, 13, and 15 and hope for the best! Mr. Z is really busy this week, so we may not hit every day, but I'm trying to relax a little more this month, and I think aiming for every other day will help.

Hope you like the preseed, Michelina...for us we have noticed no difference at all, except we switch to KY during my non fertile times so we don't waste it. :-)
ananke
Well, I found out a co-worker just miscarried (v. early, but she'd told a couple of people at work and my boss told me because she's on a team with me and it might cause some discomfort) and my boss burst into tears talking about it because she'd miscarried before. I kept it together and burst into tears on the way home.

I managed to talk to my sister-in-law about her miscarriage, and I feel a lot better about it. Mind you the next morning we were out for breakfast and she said that she'd found it really hard to avoid eggs benedict for the time she was pregnant - at which point my breakfast of eggs benedict arrived...I feel like I do this all fucking wrong some days.
julie124
Blerg! I had a post written, and the internets apparently ate it.

So I'll be brief: I used to post a bunch in some of the other threads, and have lurked in this one for what feels like forever. (Had to re-register my username, as it seems to have expired or something.)

Happy to say at last: I'm pregnant! Only my husband and I know so far. I'm thrilled, the husband I think is still a little shell shocked. Oh, actually, my therapist knows too, because I wanted to talk about it today in my session. I told her it kind of didn't seem quite real and that I was waiting for the first doctor's appointment, and she teased, "Waiting for what? To see if it's a sea creature instead of a baby? No, believe me, it's real."

Symptoms so far: exhaustion, extreme hunger (need to get another snack soon), gassiness/burpiness, waking up at 4 a.m. for no apparent reason, weird dreams, runny nose (that also could be allergies, but it has been NONSTOP), sore breasts, acne, and weird pinchy feelings in my pelvic area. Oh, and the peeing thing, but not super-bad yet. Not looking forward to the morning sickness thing and praying that maybe I'm in the 25% that escape it.

So, hallo to all the pregnant and soon-to-be-pregnant Busties!

zelda
Hi, Julie! I'm so happy for you...can I ask you...how long did it take to get knocked up? :-) How old are you? Just curious. :-)

My best friend is about 9 weeks along and has had all the symptoms you mentioned but very little morning sickness. Hopefully you'll be lucky like her!

Ananke, I'm sure you don't do the wrong things at the wrong time...you sound like a very sensitive person...I'm sure your sister in law is glad she has you to talk to.

Mr. Z. and I did it again tonight...I think the doing it every other day thing really helps us relax about things. I don't feel as pressured this cycle. I've had a *lot* of good, egg white cervical mucus these past few days, so that's good.

I've also been keeping a journal to write down some of my feelings, and that helps despite sounding kinda Oprahesque. This is the first month of trying where I don't feel so frantic. I'm glad I did the OPK strips last month because it helped me realize we were trying too late, but I think it's better not to do them every month...makes me feel like, "Oh, we need to do this now!"

Maybe the every other day thing is a good idea for us.
ananke
I have the snuffly nose as well! i never realised it was a pregnancy thing until about week 14 when i was complaining about how crap I felt and the doctor said ALL of it was pregnancy. I get blood noses as well.

Work is really hard right now - I ache a fair bit, squatting hurts (I'm a librarian so I need to get to that damn bottom shelf) and I am so. so. so. tired. Emotional and tired. I keep thinking of my boss crying and I just feel like crap.

My heartburn is awful too. NerdBaby like stretching up and leaning into my stomach. When she isn't pummelling my appendix or liver - she just hates my right side for some reason.

I think being relaxed helps the emotional side of things - it is a bloody hard thing though. I started keeping a journal when i got pregnant, with little bits each week about how I feel and what she's doing in there. Currently we're deliberating on middle names - I want a variation on Mary or Magdalen, but it's hard to find something that goes well with the other names.
Michelina
Julie, welcome and congratulations! I am also curious to hear more about you and your pregnancy. Did you have any symptoms before you found out?

Ananke, I agree with Zelda. You didn't intentionally order your meal to hurt your sister-in-law. It sounds like she just wanted to talk some more about her loss. She is probably glad to have your support. It must be hard to be pregnant around those who either cannot have babies or have had losses. I work with people who have high risk pregnancies, and have undergone losses. I anticipate feeling badly working with them if I am someday visibly pregnant (hopefully with a healthy babe), and I think that's just natural. Try not to beat yourself up too much. Easier said than done, I know.

Zelda, happy baby-making!

I am well into my 2-week wait. I am feeling a little more relaxed about it than last month. Of course this weekend I will definitely be focussed on it without work to think about. I should know by Monday or so. I don't feel any different. Not sure if that really means anything at this point.
funnybird
Michelina, Monday is my day of reckoning too! I shall be thinking about you this weekend. It's hard not to think about it, isn't it? Although the actual idea of taking a test and getting a positive result; actually succeeding in getting knocked-up seems so abstract. I try and imagine the moment, and it seems as fantastical as winning an oscar or olympic gold medal. It's as if, with all the months of trying, all the effort; the waking up at 6am on weekends to take my temperature, all the cough medicine when I don't have cough, finding excuses for not drinking when I'm with friends etc. has become detached from the actual point of the enterprise. I'm probably not explaining it very well, am I?

Anyway! Julie, congratulations to you! How many weeks along are you? I'm constantly amazed at all the weird symptoms that pregnancy can bring. Today I have headache, which apparently can be an early pregnancy symptom. Or not. Ah well, by Monday I should know.

I'm glad to hear you're feeling more chilled out Zelda. The best of luck to you for this month.

Ananke, how many weeks to go for you? I work in a library too (photos, not books), and spend most of my day up ladders, crouching on the floor and carrying dusty boxes of prints around. I hate to think how difficult it may be with a bump in the way!
julie124
Thanks for all the good wishes! I am still really early - a little over 2 weeks since ovulation, so technically about 4 weeks pregnant. (So weird that they count it from your last period, that seems totally wrong.)

To answer some of the questions: I'm 36. My husband and I tried for about 6 months or so last year with no luck, then had to put things on hold for a few months while waiting for the 90-day waiting period in our new health insurance to kick in. (My husband got laid off last summer, I have been self-employed since last year, and COBRA is friggin EXPENSIVE!) This is the first month we tried after getting the new insurance.

I think our problem before, honestly, was not enough sex - my husband takes antidepressants and generally has a low sex drive, and as Jason Bateman said in a hilarious interview once, when you hit the fertile window, "You gotta hit that ALL THE TIME." Or at least 3 times in 5 days, which is what seems to have worked for us. I have to admit I kind of cracked the whip on my husband and said, look, if you're serious about "trying," this once or twice a month business ain't gonna cut it.

Symptoms before I found out: the runny nose thing actually started about a week before I found out. I tend towards sort of minor snifflies anyway, but the fact that it was CONSTANTLY running made me think, "Hmm." (And made me Google "Is runny nose a sign of pregnancy?") The dreams and the waking up at 4:00 a.m. made me wonder too. The exhaustion, acne, and sore boobs started before I found out too, but I normally get those before my period too. Plus I had been drinking a little more regular coffee than normal so I was pretty sure it was what I call "caffeine boob."

Sidenote: Last year when we were trying, I was driving myself *mad* trying to figure out whether my "symptoms" each month were real early pregnancy symptoms or just me paying way too much attention to myself. (Are my nipples browner? Are my boobs bigger? More veiny? Are they really sore or is that just normal for me at this point in my cycle?) My therapist gave me an excellent suggestion to kind of calm myself down: decide which "symptoms" I'm wondering about, then set up my own scale (1 to 10, 1 to 5, whatever) and "rate" my symptoms throughout the month instead of just during that magic last week before my period. The idea wasn't to make extra work for myself, it was to acknowledge that I was probably going to pay attention anyway, and to direct my energy into knowing what was normal for *me* rather than obsessing with no reference point. It definitely helped. Funny thing is, most of the things I used to track haven't shown up as significant symptoms yet.

Ananke, I hope you're not too worried about the eggs benedict, or about your sister-in-law. I'm sure your sister-in-law knows that you support her and care for her...and I'm sure your baby will be OK despite your consuming a little hollandaise. I'm trying to remind myself that sometimes you can do everything right and bad things happen anyway, but on the other hand, people spent decades doing all kinds of things wrong (smoking and drinking while pregnant, babies in the car without a carseat, etc) and we managed to survive. It is hard when friends or loved ones have had a loss. My brother and sister-in-law lost their second daughter to stillbirth a couple years ago, and had a miscarriage before that. They have since had a healthy baby boy (who will turn one this July) in addition to their oldest daughter, but those losses don't go away.

On a happier note - good luck zelda, Michelina and funnybird! I am sending you good thoughts for this next round. I, too, had imagined that "gold medal" moment many times. It almost didn't feel real when it actually happened (I think I looked at that pregnancy test 50 times that day).
eyelet
I haven't checked in for a long time. I'm at 30 weeks now. I'm wishing I had kept a journal because there's this amazing quality of pregnancy that helps you forget the aches and pains of each phase so you can handle those of the current one.

To recap for those who are recently following this thread--I didn't have any significant symptoms until well after the positive pregnancy test. I'm 42 and due to what I can only see as a lucky break, my 46 year old partner and I got it on the first cycle of trying. We had sex every day for four days starting day 9 in the cycle because I had 26 day cycles. I didn't notice any change in mucous, but I did have a positive ovulation test. We were on vacation at his parents' in England so we had a lot of time to relax and spend time together. I think that helped for some reason.

I'm now at the too big to bend over and pick things up phase. I own a small manufacturing business and am finding it really hard to keep up with my responsibilities of packing and shipping. Have worked out a routine where I exert myself for 30 minutes, then sit and do paperwork for 20. Moving house recently was really tough. I don't recommend it after mid-pregnancy.

I had terrible morning sickness that ended promptly at 12 weeks. I've had a stuffy nose the whole time. I started having having excessive swelling at about 20 weeks, which I've been able to moderate by making sure to get 100 grams of protein per day (a hard task), and taking chlorophyll to help my liver and kidneys filter. The swelling has caused me to have carpal tunnel syndrome and I have to wear splints at night. Sleeping only on my left side is a real challenge, and I can't remember the last time I had a deep night of sleep. Apparently all of this is standard stuff.

Overall, I think I'm having a great pregnancy considering I'm over 40. Baby shower this weekend, and the nesting has begun. I've begun to think about my child's personality and envision what life will be like after the birth.

I second the comments from earlier about how creepy pregnancy and TTC websites are. I like being able to talk about sex and pot smoking and not living with my partner!


zelda
Hey, eyelet and julie...congrats! Thanks for all the info. It's great to read...eyelet, it sounds like you have a good attitude about everything...I know how painful carpal tunnel can be...I have to wear splints when I type sometimes, and I see a massage therapist. I think about the things I normally have and wonder if pregnancy will make them worse. Don't even want to think about hemorrhoids!

I'm in the best part of trying to make a baby...the fertile zone. I like doing it (even more) regularly with Mr. Zelda and feeling optimistic. The two week wait sucks...and then getting your period sucks the hardest. Still trying to be Zen about the whole thing. **trying**

Michelina and funnybird, let us know what happens! I am crossing my fingers for you both.
ananke
I'm 26 weeks at the moment - about 8 weeks to go before I go on leave, which is a relief. I'm really tired this week, and super emotional, which isn't helping anything at all. I'm moving over the next two weeks as well, which is crap but the new place is much much nicer. At the moment NerdBaby moves a lot and spends a fair bit of time under my ribs which is making the whole digestion/breathing far more difficult than previously. It also means I pant every now and again which is weird.

I have a tendency to feel really guilty about getting pregnant so easily and not having any real problems - I was always told I would, so it took us by surprise that it happened so easily (I still don't have any idea on what day I actually ovulate - I only ever tracked when I got my period so i could make sure i had my diva cup with me). And when I had spotting I sort of expected the worst, even when fearing it. So when it happened to someone else it was really scary. Even now i feel nervous about it all, like something is going to go wrong. I think it's a kind of guilt because I wasn't taking vitamins, or checking my mucous, or charting days, or adjusting my life in any real way. I just stopped using condoms. Everything else has been backtracking from the dates I know I got my period and I know that my partner was out of town, and knowing the day I first got sick because it was just before we flew out to a friend's wedding and I was worried about being sick on the plane. So I sort of feel like I didn't really deserve it to happen so easily, when it's been so hard for others.

Every second day seems to be good advice though - I figured out that's about what we were doing when I got pregnant, and a friend who had issues had success with the day breakin between. I almost wish I'd been paying more attention, rather than just getting it on, because it seems like it's something pretty damn special.

Mind you, just getting it on is a bit of a mission now...
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