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zelda
Michelina, I hope you and DH will get to BD soon! OMG...shoot me dead for using such terminology. :-)

My period (note I didn't say Aunt Flo) has not arrived yet although today is the usual day it shows. It's only 3 in the afternoon, but it does usually show in the morning for me...or the night of day 27.

I had some mild cramps this morning...sure it was coming, but it didn't. I'm pretty hungry, but that's common for me. :-) Nothing else unusual at all. I am resisting the urge to test.

I'm mostly trying to set myself up for disappointment, I know, but I am still pretty sure I am not pregnant. That negative test 12 dpo is what is keeping me from getting too excited. I wasn't temping or anything, but I'm pretty sure I did ovulate early this month...day 12 or 13. So I do think I'm counting my days right...although I suppose I'm not and I tested too early. Or I'm not wrong about the days and I just had a false negative. Oh who the fuck knows.

Well, we shall see. If it doesn't show up by tomorrow night, I may test on Sunday morning. The latest my period has come since going off the pill 7 months ago was cycle day 29, so tomorrow is still possible but Sunday would be unusual. We shall see.
zelda
I'm about to go to sleep...still no period, but I did go out and by Taking Charge of Your Fertility and a basal temp thermometer.

The book is actually...hilarious! I was not prepared for it to be written in such a funny way.

Thanks for suggesting it, BUSTies.
funnybird
Zelda, remember that I too tested negative 12 dpo. On the basis of my experience over the last two weeks I'd personally say chuck the pee-sticks out of the window! I realise that's bit extreme though. I have everything crossed for you!

We told our folks this weekend. My in-laws are staying with us over Easter, and we told them last night. My MIL had already guessed, due to me turning down offers of gin, wine, soft cheese, rare steak and coffee all within a few hours of them arriving. I called my parents this morning, and my Mum was so excited she screamed down the phone. My ear is still ringing! We've realised how futile the disclaimer of "don't get too excited, it's early days" is, especially with grandparents-to-be.

Michelina, I think your body is waiting to you're reunited with "DH" (ick!) to ovulate. Last month I was due to ovulate when my parents were staying with us, but it didn't happen until they'd left and I'd finished the course of antibiotics I was taking.
zelda
Gin, wine, soft cheese? Your in-laws sound like my kind of people, Funny. So glad you were able to share the news. I don't even want to think about what my mother will say/do. Scream so loud my eardrum will shatter, probably.

My period showed this morning, one day later than normal. At least she made her arrival early enough that I didn't waste a test. (How Pollyanna of me.)

The good news is I can drink at this wedding that we have today, plus I have "Taking Charge" which is making me feel more empowered for this coming cycle.

The negative? I think Mr. Z is going to be out of town during my next fertile window unless I ovulate early. Perhaps we will do it right before he leaves and his lil' stoned sperm can hang on a few days until I pop out an egg.

Does Fertility Friend allow for low body temps? I noticed in Taking Charge her charts are great, but she has the lowest body temp at 97. Sometimes I have a low body temp as low as 96.7 or 8.

I suppose I could just make my own charts.
julie124
QUOTE
Gin, wine, soft cheese? Your in-laws sound like my kind of people, Funny.

I know! Party at funnybird's house tonight...
It is kinda fun to tell people and see the different reactions. I've had two friends and my sister tear up, and my mom was all, "As soon as I get off the phone I'm going to jump up and down!" My sister was afraid she might get drunk and accidentally spill the beans to others, and I told her, "That's fine, but just remember that if something happens, you have to tell everyone you told."

zelda, sorry to hear that your period showed, but I'm glad you're enjoying the book. Have fun at the wedding and drink one for us! Oh yeah, and Fertility Friend should have no problem dealing with lower temps. It draws your coverline for you too (which you'll read about in the book if you haven't already) so you don't have to figure that out either.

So, confession time. I keep having this fear that I'm not really pregnant, or that I was and it somehow went away or something. I keep reminding myself about the two positive home pregnancy tests I took, and about my boobs getting bigger and my being tired, and my not having a period. I think I have this deep down fear that I'm going to get to the 8-week appointment and they're going to be like, "sorry, there's been a mistake." Most of the time I can kind of brush off the fear, but it likes to creep back when I'm not expecting it.
zelda
Julie, you sound just like my best friend re: the "am I really PG?" thing...the first week or so that she knew she was pregnant, she took a test almost every other day and would jump up and down to make sure her boobs were still sore. (Seriously!) I'm sure after months of trying, it can't seem real when it actually does happen.

I know with time as your symptoms increase and reality sinks in, it will start to feel much more real. I best BUSTies in their second or third trimesters will let you know how real it will soon be. ;-)

I am digging Fertility Friend and Taking Charge...wish I had had both three months ago! I think they'll both make me feel better about trying. I feel less bummed now than I did a few days ago (before I even got my period). Not sure why. There are so many ups and downs on this trying thing...

I found out Mr. Z is leaving the afternoon of cycle day 14...later than I thought...so hopefully not to early to get some serious action in.

Actually, Taking Charge has me realizing how critical timing is...more so than frequency. Even tho my GYN said to try for every other day (and that did stress me out less this past month), it seems like maybe it is better to do it every day during that critical 3 day window. I suppose everyone has a different opinion...but as long as his sperm is okay, it seems like every day is okay?

Who knows!
Michelina
Zelda, sorry to hear that your early test was a true negative. I am really glad to hear you got the bible of fertility awareness. I used that method to prevent pregnancy for several years... right up to now!

Julie, I could totally see myself feeling like that too. It must seem pretty surreal in the first few weeks.

Funnybird, you were right. My ovaries held off and I had ovulation pain in the car ride home. It was like, let's get home and unite that sperm and egg! So there is hope for a new years baby now.

Off to "BD!" ;-)
zelda
Michelina, your post made me laugh. Good luck!

I am looking forward to really paying close attention to my cervical mucus this cycle. (WOW. I never in my life thought I would say *that*!). With the yeast infection I had last month, it was hard to tell. (Now I'm blaming it not happening this time on the yeast.)

I don't know about temping. I am going to try, but I am such a restless sleeper, and I typically wake up about an hour or so before I really have to get up, so I can pee...then back for an hour or an hour and a half of restless sleeping...maybe I will do what julie suggested and take it when I get up to pee...even if it is at 5:30 in the AM. I'm going to at least try it.

Now comes the worst part of the cycle...in addition to just having a period (sorry, I can't get all feministy about it...I think getting your period is gross and sux), now I have to wait 10 more days or so until my fertile window. (Wiggles thumbs/acts impatient.)

I should be grateful I have relatively short cycles (28-29 days). A friend of mine had 35 to 39 day cycles and had to wait forever until she was fertile again.
eyelet
I'll attest to the fact that it becomes very real eventually. I'm at 32 weeks now and it has been a part of my life for so long now, it almost seems like more of a reality than not being pregnant.

We went to a dinner party last night and got home late, and as tired as I was, I couldn't fall asleep for another 2 hours. Don't know if it was fatigue or just coincidence, but during this time the Braxton-Hicks contractions started for the first time in earnest. I have to admit, I'm a little more scared of labor now than I was. They really hurt, and these are just warm-up contractions.

I know these 8 weeks remaining will go by very fast, and the seriousness of it all is dawning on me. Of course I knew it intellectually, but now it's at the gut level. She'll be here and nothing will ever be the same.

On the TTC front--Zelda-we did the every day sex approach. My feeling was that since my partner is 46, his sperm may not survive for days so we needed reinforcements every day. That's completely unscientific of course but everything I did with regard to conception was straight from instinct, including the time of day we chose to get it on. We waited until one or the other of us was actually horny, which was easier (as I've said before) because we were on vacation.

Seems such a long time ago now...

Michelina
Zelda, I think that temping when you get up to pee is the best idea. Your temp will not be accurate unless you have been sleeping for at least 3 hours. As long as you get up around the same time, it should be fine. I find that even if I spend some time reaching for the thermometer, my temp is inaccurate. I literally try to do nothing other than turn off the alarm and pick up the thermometer. It doesn't help that my cat knocks it around my mouth as he's begging me to get up and feed him. Oh and your cervical mucous line made me laugh!

Speaking of CM, has anyone tried Primrose oil? It seems to me that someone mentioned it. You take it only up to ovulation, right? I had very little CM this cycle and am thinking of giving it a go. I am not sure about the cough syrup though.

Eyelet, hope your B-H contractions have eased up. I can see how they make you think a little more of what is ahead. Do you have a detailed birth plan? Birth plans seem very personal, but, as with everything else concerning reproductive choice, it appears that everyone has an opinion and way too many feel the need to express it. I could see myself being very private about that solely for that reason.
zelda
Yeah, the temping thing is gonna be tough...I get up usually around 3 or 4 am to pee, then struggle to get back to sleep and sleep pretty fitfully until around 7 am. Rarely do I wake up to the alarm at 7 am, which would be perfect for temping.

Fertility Friend said that getting temps in the middle of the night is not a good idea because you may not see enough of a biphasic curve with that...but I think I am going to try. Today I found a difference of a whole degree when I temped right after waking up in the middle of the night (around 3:30) and when I temped again at 7 am after a restless two or three hours of light sleeping. I think the 3:30 am temp was more accurate because I had slept pretty soundly from 11 pm until 3:30 am...four and a half hours of solid sleep.

I'm a bad sleeper who can function on little sleep. See, I can handle a baby! :-)

I really want to try temping, but Taking Charge says for those people who do shift work or who simply can't get an accurate temp, you can focus on your mucus and cervix position.

We shall see...just gonna try what I can this month and see how it goes. Frankly, one of the things I like about temping is watching to see if the temps stay elevated...makes the two week wait less mysterious!
zelda
Michelina, I had not heard about primrose oil, but I have heard about the cough syrup...just make sure it's not the kind that dries you UP instead of lubing you up. (Did I just type that?) I know you know this, but there's info in Taking Charge on that.

I have several days - like four or five - of good cervical mucus. Oh my God, I really cannot believe the things TTC is causing me to type on these boards. When I step outside of myself and just observe, I really cannot help but laugh.

Anyway, I've got good mucus, so I'm not worrying too much about that. Preseed comes with some plunger type device (like when treating a yeast infection) that you can use to put more lubricant inside you...I've read on some of the scary boards that a lot of people have had success with that.

Hey, Michelina, I meant to mention this on the pot-smoking husband front...today my BFF reminded me that Bob Marley and Snoop Dogg had/have both had a ton of kids, and I think they smoke(d) 24 hours a day!
julie124
I tried evening primrose oil for awhile. The first couple of months I tried it, it was like WOW! Amazing results. But later on I think it may have actually made my cervical fluid a little wonky....I would get very fertile fluid early on and then it seemed like it got less fertile, but I knew from temping that I hadn't ovulated yet. I read a couple of other message boards where women said they had this experience. So I was to the point that I was going to stop taking the stuff the next month...but then thankfully I got knocked up, so that was moot. But some women swear by it. My sister-in-law took it and had good results. Just make sure you don't take it after ovulation, because apparently it can cause uterine contractions or something. (I forget the specifics, but it could cause miscarriage.)

The other thing I tried for cervical fluid was green tea. Not sure whether that had an effect, but after I got pregnant I read that too much green tea can actually block absorption of folic acid. Whoops! So you might want to be careful on that one.

Never tried the cough syrup, but I believe you want the kind that has guanefesin (sp?) in it - that thins your mucus. So, I think Mucinex (the plain kind, not the multi-symptom kind) is what you want if you wanna try that.

zelda, I think your plan to try temping when you wake up naturally in the night is a good one. And personally I ignore Fertility Friend's advice and just use their tools. (Also - beware their message boards. Women can post their charts to their signatures, so it is fuel for a lot of obsessing about charts, which for me is a bit crazy-making. The positive thing is that everyone's very supportive of each other, but if you want to avoid all the BD/AF/POAS stuff you may want to steer clear.)

So, my latest news is that one of my good friends here just announced her pregnancy - and she held out 14 weeks before telling anyone! I'm really happy for her. She doesn't know about me yet - after I congratulated her, she said, "You and Mr. Julie are next!" And I thought, "You don't know how true that is." And another friend who doesn't know reached out to me to find out if I was doing okay (because everyone knows I am MAD for babies and have wanted one for a long time). So I think my plan to wait until after the doctor's appointment has gone out the window. I'm planning to tell my pregnant friend at lunch today and hoping to have lunch with my other concerned friend tomorrow.

I do have to say that I am kind of thankful that my friend waited so long to tell...because it probably *would* have been really hard for me to hear if I found out about her before I knew I was pregnant. So I'm just hoping that everything stays healthy and happy for both of us.

And for y'all! *love to pregnant and soon-to-be-pregnant Busties*
eyelet
Zelda-my BH contractions haven't recurred. I think I pushed it way to hard on Sunday and that I need to listen to my body.

I haven't mentioned this because I knew it might draw criticism, but in addition to my business, I've been working a second contract job and renting my house out as a vacation rental, which means being a maid at least once a week too. I've always been a hard worker, but pregnancy puts a new spin on it, so I'm planning to reduce the number of hours at my contract job starting next week and then stop it all together when I get closer to my due date. I'm looking for ways to get more help with all my responsibilities and trying to carve out at least an hour a day for quiet time.

I feel a like I've been mostly complaining on this board, which seems a little out of place since most of the conversation is often about TTC and I probably seem unappreciative of what I have. But the truth is in these last two months of pregnancy, my body is so challenged. I feel like I have to vent a little of the frustration around it. It doesn't mean I'm not profoundly happy to be having the experience.

Regarding the birth plan Zelda--I am planning (hoping) to have the baby at home. I was thinking I'd ask my midwife to be my advocate at the hospital should I be transferred and lose control of the situation. My appointment is Thursday and I'll get her opinion on all that. But no, I haven't written a birth plan.

I'm not so much scared of labor as I said the other day, as more humble in the face of it. I'm physically strong and I've experienced some prolonged pain and discomfort in my life, as well as some serious fear (caught in a snowstorm in the Himalayas, not kidding). But I am realizing I can't be cocky about this. Just because I'm a strapping gal who can work like a pack mule, doesn't mean this will be easy.

Just going through the natural thought process of the home stretch I think.
eyelet
Zelda-my BH contractions haven't recurred. I think I pushed it way to hard on Sunday and that I need to listen to
julie124
Oh, eyelet - I'm actually glad to hear the complaining parts. (I realize that might sound weird, but...whatever.) I know that growing a person ain't gonna be all sunshine and roses and I think it's important to share whatever pieces of the experience you're, er, experiencing. I'm sorry that you haven't felt like you could voice some of that here lately...again this probably sounds weird, but I am interested in hearing it if you're comfortable sharing. And you don't seem unappreciative at all. This is hard work!

Sounds like you have lots of hard work going on your end, and not just the baby-making part. Color me impressed, frankly. I'm too early to even be showing and it is like pulling teeth to get myself to focus on doing my contract job for 6-7 hours a day, then I collapse on the couch at night. Definitely listen to your body, but I also get why you are trying to make money and get things done wherever you can.

The home birth sounds exciting. Plus, most of the moms I know say the worst thing about the hospital was that they wake you up every ten minutes and you can't really get any sleep...seems like it would be better to be home as soon as possible. I don't know anyone who's done home birth, though my college roommate had one baby at a birthing center and the other at a hospital, both without drugs. I'm curious - are you doing some sort of "method" for pain management (like Bradley or hypnobirthing), or is the midwife just going to sort of guide you through it? I am thinking about trying to do a drug-free birth but I'm planning to have the baby at a hospital so I have the epidural option if it turns out that's not for me.
zelda
Eyelet, you sound like a very accomplished and together lady, and I don't think you'll find any criticism here for a second job...and I know I speak for a TTC person, but none of the pregnant BUSTies should feel bad complaining about pregnancy here...hello, it's the pregnancy thread! And I'm sure especially in that last trimester there is a lot to feel tired about.

I remember there was a TTC thread at one time, but if it's okay with everyone, hopefully Michelina and I can stick around...maybe your baby vibes will be contagious. :-) It worked for funnybird!

Julie, how exciting your friend is also PG. I know how I will have to FIGHT to not tell everyone I see when (and if, hopefully) I find out.

Thanks for the FYI on the Fertililty Friend boards...I am definitely staying clear...too weird for me.

As for the temping, I'm sort of keeping two separate charts. On the FF site I'm keeping my very early morning temp, and then I'm going to sort of keep an informal chart of my 7 am temp. They are radically different...so maybe this first month I'll see which temp provides the most information.
eyelet
I think I'm wary of telling people how much I'm doing because they'll think it's irresponsible at this stage in pregnancy given that I'm older and arguably at higher risk. But I'm driven right now to earn as much as I can. I feel almost animalistic in this drive. I haven't even gotten to the "nesting" part of organizing my apartment because the bank account seems more urgent somehow.

I am very tired, but the first trimester was by far the worst for me, Julie. I was too tired to function and sick all day every day. I think part of why I'm working so hard now is because I swore I would make the most of my time once I got past that.

I think this is as good a thread as any for discussion of TTC. It's kind of fun to follow the effort and then get to hear it worked out as with Funnybird.

I'm using the Bradley method because that's what my midwife subscribes to. She has been a family friend for many years and has delivered something like 1500 babies. I don't judge how each woman chooses to do childbirth, but if you are delivering in a hospital and would like to try it without epidural, I would encourage lots of research so you know what interventions to accept and decline. Some of the medicines they routinely use to move labor along make the pain much more intense and make it more likely that even the toughest woman would ask for an epidural.

The Business of Being Born is a documentary by Ricki Lake that I found to be a good source of moral support for my decision to skip the hospital (available on Netflix). I would, by the way, be using a birthing center if my local ones allowed me to bring my own midwife. I'm not thrilled about it being at home (just because of the clean-up and no waiting room), but that was my only option if I wanted my choice of midwife.

I'm going to try to approach the pain of labor like I have other physical challenges--accept the fact that I'm going to hate huge parts of it, but remember that it is a finite period of time and that when it's over I can have a good meal, a shower, and a nap.


funnybird
Hey everyone.

I had a miscarriage. I started spotting late on Sunday night. Yesterday morning I had a scan at the Early Pregnancy Unit which showed that the embryo wasn't growing. They told me to come back in a weeks time, but yesterday afternoon I started cramping a bleeding heavily. I think it was a blighted ovum, but I guess I'll need to go back to the hospital for confirmation.

I'm surprisingly okay though. I was in a pretty bad state yesterday afternoon at work (yes, I went straight from the EPU to work. I'm not sure what I was thinking either). I just sat on the fire escape crying for most of the afternoon, but seeing Architect Boy in the evening helped. We kidded about how much I sucked at being pregnant and made plans for what to do next. We're going to blow our savings on plane tickets (always a good plan in the middle of a recession!) and take a holiday next month while my body recovers, then start trying again in the summer. At least we'll know how to go about it this time.

I'll probably still lurk until then to keep up with everyone is doing.
Michelina
(((Funnybird))) I am so sorry. I think going on a holiday is a great idea. It sounds like you two have very healthy coping mechanisms. Take good care and keep us posted on those holiday plans.
eyelet
Dammit. I'm so sorry Funnybird. I'm sad to hear this time wasn't the one.
zelda
Oh, funny, I'm sitting in my homeroom (I'm a teacher) with my students buzzing around getting ready to start the day, and I read this and just teared up a bit. Even though I don't "know" you, I have been thinking about you these past few weeks and crossing fingers for you.

I think a vacation is a GREAT idea. We are all here to listen whenever you want to "talk."

(((((((((((funnybird))))))))))))
julie124
((((funnybird))))
I am so sorry. There's really not much to say, except that if you need to talk or vent or whatever, we're here. Take good care of yourself. You're in my thoughts.
funnybird
Thank you for all the virtual hugs. I really am feeling okay (apart from the wicked cramping). I feel as if I hardly had time to come to terms with being pregnant in the first place, and I'm glad in way that it ended so quickly before I got used to the idea. To be honest I feel more annoyance at having to start again than grief at losing this particular pregnancy. I hope that doesn't sound too cold-hearted.

I did have my suspicions that something was wrong with the low hcg levels and the lack of any symptoms other than the cramping (my boobs were never sore), and having the scan was helpful because it showed that other than the embryo not developing properly everything else looked normal and healthy. (My inner nerd was fascinated to learn that I had ovulated from my left ovary and the corpus luteum was clearly visible).

The doctor at the EPU advised going back when the bleeding has settled down, so I hope we'll find out then what went wrong.

Zelda, I'm glad that you're enjoying "Taking Charge..." and finding it helpful. I've discovered over this past week that being able to be absolutely certain about your dates from charting is extremely useful and empowering.

Tonight we plan to get stuck into the bottle of very good wine that the in-laws left for us.
zelda
Funny, I don't think there's anything cold-hearted about what you are saying. I think it's a very natural response. I don't think there's a "wrong" or "right" way to respond to a miscarriage. I couldn't say for sure, but I have a feeling I would be just like you if I were in your shoes.

Hopefully you'll find out more information from the doctor. I know it's the worst platitude in the world and perhaps you'll kick me for saying it, but I do know when a friend of mine had a miscarriage early on, she felt at least a little better knowing conception was possible for her. By the way, she conceived a healthy baby girl a few months later.

Hang in there...and enjoy the wine.
Michelina
Funnybird, I second Zelda. There is no wrong or coldhearted way to react. All responses are "normal." Sharing a bottle of wine with the boy is exactly what I would do in the same situation. I'm glad that your girl bits are all looking in order (and, yes, this proves the boy bits are too.) Thinking of you...

I thought I had ovulated over the weekend, but I still have a high and wet cervix, absolutely no breast soreness, and my temps are very low. So I am still waiting. (Drums fingers on table.) My periods were like clockwork until we started TTC.
zelda
I have never tried to feel my cervix. It's not that I'm squeamish. Just that I never tried it before. Maybe I will this month. SHOW...Soft, High, Open, Wet. Right? That's a fertile cervix?

My period is ending today, and my temps have been super low throughout...95.5 to 97.0 at the absolute highest. I wonder what a spike or high temp will look like for me...98? Who knows.

Michelina, have your cycles become longer since you're ovulating later?

Since my cycles have consistently stayed between 27 to 29 days, I'm assuming I must be ovulating at around the same time as long as my luteal phase is normal.

My BFF is having her CVS testing today because she is 38. She is choosing it over amnio because it is done vaginally and not a needle through the belly. She's really nervous, so I know she'll feel better when it's over...and even better once she gets the results.

Funnybird, I'm still thinking about you...I hope you lurk and chat if you want to or can feel up to it.
julie124
zelda, I think it's a great idea to add the cervix observations if you want. Just be prepared that at first it might be hard for you to tell what high vs. low, and open vs. closed is for you. At least it was for me. After I'd felt it every day for a cycle or two I was able to tell more. Otherwise a lot of times I ended up putting, "I dunno, medium?" on every chart I used to track it. Also, with mine sometimes it seemed like SHOW didn't always happen at the same time. Like, it would feel more open, but more medium-low than high.

My pre-ovulation temps always tended to be around the 97.0 - 97.4 area (with the occasional temp at 96.8 or so), and post-ovulation generally went up to 97.6-97.8 the first day and then hovered around 98.0 until the day of/day before my period. I'd definitely keep track for a couple months...a few temps in the 96 range are probably nothing to worry about, but if everything's consistently in that 95 range I'd wonder about a thyroid issue (which can cause low BBTs the whole cycle and definitely would affect your ability to conceive). Pre-ovulation temps ARE going to be lower than a regular 98.6 body temperature, though.

Michelina, there's nothing like the "watched pot" of waiting to ovulate. Good luck!

Okay, must get back to work. I am soooooo tired today. Fell asleep on the couch last night at 9:00 for a bit, woke up around 9:30, went to bed around 10:15 and dragged myself out of bed this morning at 6:45. Normally that would be plenty of sleep for me, but apparently the bean has other ideas. I will say - the fatigue definitely helps me feel more pregnant! So hey, silver lining. wink.gif
eyelet
I did CVS at 14 weeks because of my age too, but my perinatal doc does not go through the vagina/cervix. He goes through the belly because (I was told,) it has a lower incidence of complications. It was weird watching the baby on the screen and how she went to one side of my uterus when the needle went in. The procedure was painful and I felt crappy the rest of the day, but I was really glad to have the information I needed that early in the pregnancy.

Julie--I think I've re-entered the tired zone. I was told it would happen again at the end and it's here. An almost drugged feeling of sleepy. I could sleep all day with no problem right now if I was free to.

I think my partner is moving through his own different stages. He was a real pain in the ass for about a week, acting very adolescent and self-centered, and then just in the last few days, he seems to have realized how amazing this actually is and is being very sentimental and almost (though not quite) weepy.
zelda
Thanks for the info, Julie. :-)

My temps around 7 am are in the 97 range...it's the temps in the middle of the night (4 am or so) that are in the 96 range...but I don't want to go with those 7 am temps because I'm such a restless sleeper.

I had bloodwork done last year for something unrelated (that ended up not being serious), and my thyroid looked good, so hopefully that's all good.

I really want temping to work for me, but I have a feeling my numbers are going to be too erratic and my sleeping is too nutty to really work. Well, I'll try it for this cycle.

I just wish I could sleep through the night once in my life! I may end up just relying on cervical mucus because mine follows all the classic signs and I have a decent amount to really observe and look.
zelda
One more temping question...

Why is waking temp so important? I mean, why can't I just take my temp exactly at 6:45 every morning? Even if on some of those mornings I am just getting up and some of those mornings I'm just laying in bed resting but awake and some of those mornings I got up to pee at 5 am and then sorta dozed for an hour or so. How come it has to be right when you wake up temp? As long as I'm not talking, sitting, moving but just laying there, would that be okay?
Michelina
Zelda, I had the same thought the other day. I can't see why just lying in bed would affect your temp, but maybe just being awake does. I really don't know... If you were up to pee at 5am, though, I am pretty sure that would have an effect.

I am now convinced that I haven't ovulated (or that I just did today.) I have all of the fertility signs now. I am curious to know what my temp will be like tomorrow. I had a huge temp dip yesterday (97.2 and my pre-ovulation temps typically are around 97.5 -97.8). I am wondering maybe that was my impending ovulation dip, which could be very useful! Who knows... My last cycle was 26 days and this one is looking like it will be a 33 or 34 day one. I used to be consistently 28 or 29 days.

Julie, maybe your energy will return in the second trimester. Eyelet, what was your second tri like? I always hear that the second tri is when women typically feel the best. Was that true for you?
zelda
Well, my temps in the middle of the night are so crazy low, and I never get up at the same time to pee anyway (it could be anywhere from 1 am to 5 am), so I've decided that I'm just going to temp when I really "wake up." Meaning, when I know I won't be going back to sleep and regardless of when I peed. I've been taking both, and the later temps are all in the 97 range or very high 96 range, so they seem more normal than the weird 95s and low 96s I was getting in the middle of the night.

It may not work, but I'll see how it goes this month and if I'm able to get any kind of biphasic curve.

My period is over...it's day 7 of my cycle, so I'll start monitoring things now. I've had egg white cervical mucus as early as day 8 or 9, but I don't think I ovulate that early because the mucus goes on for a few days. I just hope I ovulate by day 14 because Mr. Z is gonna be out of town from then until day 18!

Even though I have avoided the freaky forums on Fertililty Friend, I did feel better looking at some of the charts on there of women who've gotten pregnant. Many, many of them took 6 months or longer to conceive, but they did. And they were healthy with no stated problems. Made me feel less concerned somehow.

My BFF's CVS went well...they did do it vaginally because she was early enough on...she felt crampy and tired after and is on bedrest all day today, and she's glad it's over!
eyelet
Second trimester was definitely the mellow time. I was past the nausea and still small enough to move around normally. The swelling and carpal tunnel started at 20 weeks, but sleep troubles didn't really kick in until third trimester. Each time some new challenge comes along I whine about it for a week or so and then just adapt and move on. The latest change is just being more tired and having more heartburn. Both are manageable though.

Zelda-when you have sex before your guy leaves town, try to forget it's baby-making sex and find a way to make it more like the other kind. I have a theory that being genuinely turned on and into it with your sexual brain is good for conception chemistry. Not scientific of course, but win-win.
jenny_dreadful
Hi there, I'm new to this thread, although I've been lurking for a little bit. I've just found out I'm pregnant - I think I'm almost 7 weeks, but haven't made it to a doctor's yet (am living in new area, have had to register with a new practice and am waiting a registration health check on Monday before I can get a GP appointment). I wanted to say hello!

Zelda, I had exactly the same issue with my temps, getting up in the night etc. My chart was all over the place, so I kept an eye on cervical mucous only. I also think that the sex we had that made this pregnancy happened a few days before I ovulated (2 or 3 days), so the sperm must've hung about for longer than I thought it would!

julie124
Welcome jenny and congrats! How are you feeling?

zelda, I am personally a big fan of the "do what works for you" school of thought, and I think your plan makes a lot of sense. I would recommend giving your new system a couple cycles before giving up - at least for me, it really took me about a month or two to kind of get into the routine of temping (I kept forgetting to take it in my sleepy state). I don't know why they always stipulate "waking" temps. Maybe they figure that most people will move around and affect their temperature if they are awake for awhile.

Glad to hear that your friend's CVS went okay, too. I'm kind of undecided about some of the more invasive testing right now, but I figure I'll learn more about it at my first appointment in a little over a week. And as my preggo friend said to me this week, maybe I'll luck out and the blood tests and scans will make the possibility of problems remote enough that I can forgo the more invasive stuff.

Okay, the ME WANT FOOD voice is starting up again, so I'll sign off for now....
zelda
Eyelet, that's good advice...trying to forget it's "baby making" sex. I have to admit that during the fertile time, I can't help but think that! We have a pretty healthy sex life, but we do up it a little during the fertile window, so...I guess I can't help but think about the fact that we are doing it more than normal and for one main reason!

Welcome, jennydreadful, and congratulations!...Glad I'm not the only one with wonky temps due to weird sleep patterns. Julie, I think you're right, I will give it a month or two with what works for me and see if I can make sense of the temps and if I can't, I will rely on other signs, like CM.

And perhaps your initial bloodwork and everything will turn out okay, and you won't do anything else more invasive. My friend's bloodwork did come back totally normal, but because she and her husband feel pretty strongly that they would terminate the pregnancy if something was seriously wrong and because she is almost 39, her doctor told her she should go ahead and get it done. Hopefully all will be well, and she can just fully embrace the pregnancy in a week or two when she gets the results.
Michelina
Jenny, welcome and congrats! I am curious - how old are you and how long did you try for? I am glad you mentioned that you had sex 2 or 3 days before ovulation and it still worked. That is reassuring. I was a bit worried that maybe because we are not often timing it for the exact date of ovulation, that it may be hindering our chances. This is our third month trying.

Zelda, I have figured it out. My ovulation was delayed this month because my cycle is trying to be in synch with yours. Hmmmm.... cyber cycle synchronization? :-) (Try saying that out loud!) Oh and I forgot to mention your comment about Bob Marley and Snoop Dog and the potsmoking. That's so true!!! I am honestly much less worried about the pot thing now.

I think I may ditch the whole temping thing too. I guess I'll see what happens. I was sure I ovulated early yesterday morning, but my temp is still low. I think I am a "slow riser" though so it's not entirely surprising. I'm having a hard time taking my temp at the same time every morning and am questioning if it's worth the annoyance.

I am going to get a pap test in 4 weeks and am wondering if I should get an STD test at the same time. I read something on chlamydia and gonorrhea yesterday and started worrying about blocked tubes. Not that I am worried at all that something has been going on behind my back (and I have been faithful too), but am considering that something could be there that wasn't detected when I had my last screen almost 3 years ago. How awful would that be? Again, I think I'm stressing over nothing. I suppose STD testing could be part of a routine infertility workup anyway. Does anyone know?



zelda
Michelina, I am sure everything is JUST fine! Now you get off the scary part of the Internet, little miss. ;-)

But seriously, if it makes you feel better, you may want to get checked. I know my GYN did an annual chlamydia test on me up until recently...can't remember if she stopped when we got married or what. She knows I've been with Mr. Z for almost ten years, so....

I think it's highly unlikely that you have had those and have any problems because you would have most likely passed on the infection to your husband, and men typically get lots of STD symptoms, so I think you are super fine! Of course, peace of mind may be what you are seeking, so I say, it's okay to get checked.

Maybe you are ovulating in sync with me via the magic of the Internet. We shall see! :-)

One thing I'm sort of worrying about (but not too much) is that I have HSV-2, more affectionately known as genital herpes. I contracted the virus four years ago from Mr. Z after several years together. He's asymptomatic, so he had no idea he had it. He's never had symptoms (which is great considering TTC). Obviously, we had sex at one time when the virus was active in his body, and that time we didn't use enough lube, and I contracted it.

Fortunately, I have a very mild case. I have about one to two super mild outbreaks a year, and if it weren't for me being in tune with my body, I wouldn't even know I had those. I took Valtrex daily for a year or so, and now I take it whenever I think an outbreak may be coming on and around TTC time.

My GYN told me it's perfectly safe and tons of HSV-2 positive women have healthy pregnancies. The only concern comes during the delivery. If you have an active outbreak, there's a chance you could pass the virus on to your baby, so they have to do a C-section. I hope it doesn't come to that although of course I would much rather be safe than sorry.

Of course, I have to get knocked up first before I start worrying about C-sections!

My BFF has HSV-2 also, but also very mild like me. She is hoping to have a vaginal birth. Any pregnant BUSTies also have HSV-2?

eyelet
I wanted to clarify an earlier post when I was having pain during the night and Braxton-Hicks contractions. My midwife told me that the pain was cramping or muscle pain, but B-H contractions are generally not painful. She pointed out when I was having a B-H contraction. My belly gets really hard (usually just on one side). I thought that was the baby's back pushing against me, but she said it's the muscles tightening.

Michelina-I think if you're going in for a pap smear anyway and the other tests don't cost much more, do it for your own peace of mind. I did it last summer when I was preparing to start this, even though I was reasonably sure there wasn't a problem.

Last night I went "out," which is to say I met my guy and our friends out and took my own car because I can only hang for a short while on these swollen feet. On my way back to the car some boys/young men rode past on their bikes and hooted and said "sexy" in a not very nice way. I guess very pregnant women are supposed to hide indoors?! I wasn't pleased. Mr. E walked out right after they passed by. He told me that they were idiots of course, but I still drove home feeling a little silly in my black lace top (tent) and red lipstick.

I've reached the over-sensitive stage.
zelda
Eyelet, I don't think you were over sensitive. Those guys were assholes. I hate this whole notion that pregnant women are not sexy. Granted, I know by the time you are ready to deliver you feel as big as a house and perhaps unsexy, but frankly, I find the pregnant shape lovely. At the very least no woman deserves to be hooted at in that way.

Those stupid morons. You should've given them the finger. ;-)

Okay, so I have a weird question about cervical mucus. It seems to me that I don't go through any "build up" to get egg white mucus. I just have a little, then a little more, then a lot. My period ends, I have one or two dry days, and then EWCM. Today (cycle day 9), just a very little bit, but it was definitely shiny, stretchy, and slippery.

But I don't go through any of those sticky, creamy, wet, phases. Not that I mind...I know EWCM is good. But...I just wonder if this is odd. After my period, I totally get stick or creamy CM that matches what the books says I am "supposed" to have.
jenny_dreadful
Thanks for the welcomes! Michelina, I'm 32 and we had only just begun trying, so I got pregnant way quicker than I thought I would. However, I had been tracking my cycles for a while and had used some natural family planning techniques for a few years so I'd learned my patterns of CM etc. I was sure we'd missed my ovulation (I had really noticeable mittelschmerz about 3 days after we did the deed, with a bit of bleeding) but apparently not! I'm still finding it very hard to believe I'm really pregnant.

I've been really tired this week, had to go and sit in the toilet when i was out for lunch last week, to have 5 mins to close my eyes. Ridiculous! No sickness thus far, my big symptom is really really sore boobs, and burning nipples! Woe betide me if the cold gets my nipples hard, they burn and ache like crazy.

We haven't told anyone I'm pregnant yet. My BFF had a pregnancy last year that ended at 20 weeks owing to a chromosomal disorder, and another friend had a miscarriage at 7 weeks. I am 7 weeks tomorrow and nervous, so I'm waiting for my 12 week scan and tests before telling anyone about the pregnancy.

Eyelet, those guys were utter idiots, how dare they speak to you like that. I don't think you are over sensitive, but justifiably offended by their rude remark.
julie124
eyelet, I agree with everyone here - you're not being oversensitive, those guys were complete idiots. What kind of dumbasses do that kind of thing? So very junior high. But I'm so sorry their comments made you feel bad or self-conscious. That sucks and I always hate it when I can't shake off someone else's stupidity.

I love the idea that zelda and Michelina are cycling together via the power of the Internet. Hee!

jenny_dreadful, I am so right there with you in finding it hard to believe I'm really pregnant sometimes. My current driving-myself-nuts activity has been looking at myself in the mirror and trying to figure out if my waist is actually thickening a bit, or if I'm just imagining that. (Like, not a bump, but just a slightly bigger waist than I had before.) I like to think that after my first appointment I'll be better about all of this, but something tells me I will just manage to find something new for obsession purposes.

zelda, I think your CM situation seems totally normal. Mine varied somewhat month-to-month (and there is the aforementioned wonkiness the month I actually conceived) but a lot of times it was nothing-nothing-nothing, then CM out the wazoo for a day or so, then stickiness afterward until period time. I think not everybody builds up gradually.



zelda
julie124, just to clarify...when you say "CM out the wazoo" you *are* talking about your vagina, correct?

Ha ha...just a little TTC humor there.

I'm waiting for Mr. Z to wake up so maybe we can get it on...it is really too early to start trying, but we haven't gotten it on since my period, so let's do it for that reason alone!
Michelina
Eyelet, I also concur with everyone here. Those guys were asses and you responded exactly as I think most people would. You were not being overly sensitive. If only more people actually respected the rule we all learned in early childhood: "if you have nothing good to say..."

Zelda, it seems that you ovulate fairly early in your cycle so maybe your body doesn't have that build up because it doesn't have a chance. I don't think it means anything, though, as far as your ability to conceive.

Jenny, I think I would try to hold out to the 12 week mark too for the same reasons. I am keeping the whole TTC thing on the downlow so I cannot imagine how hard it would be to announce a pregnancy early, then have a miscarriage. Along with the sadness and grief, I would also worry that people are expecting me to announce another pregnancy soon afterwards. That would stress me out a lot.

I think I ovulated twice this cycle! I had ovution pain and fertile CM early Friday morning, but my temp the next morning was still low. Then I had ovulation pain and more CM on Saturday morning. This morning my temp was elevated. A study done in 2003 found that multiple ovluation may occur up to 10% of the time. Mr. M and I are joking that we'll end up with twins now. :-) Well, at least if there were two eggs there, our chances of getting one baby are doubled!
Michelina
Oh and Julie, it is always nice to hear that people my age (31) and older do get pregnant with ease. I sometimes get wrapped up in the age thing and focus on the 10 - 15% chance per month, which seems so low. It's reassuring that it does happen easily for women other than my super fertile friends!
julie124
oh, zelda, you crack me up. Dontcha know "the wazoo" is the new hot term for "vagina"? laugh.gif

Michelina, I think we hear so much about people having trouble getting pregnant after 30 that it's sometimes easy to focus on that. I know I was totally like, "We gotta get on this NOW! My eggs are expiring!" And while it wasn't instant for us, it could have taken a lot longer. So I'm thankful for that. I should mention that I have had several friends get pregnant after 30 and after 35 and have healthy babies. Pregnancy: not just for teenagers anymore.

So, What to Expect... says that one of my symptoms this month could be "a sense of unreality about the pregnancy." Hmm, y'think? *tries to distract self until next week's appointment*
funnybird
Congratulations Jenny! Have you seen a doctor yet?

We went back to the EPU on Friday morning, where they did another scan to confirm that I had miscarried. Apparently it was “just one of those things”; an unlucky chromosomal abnormality and nothing to do with anything I did or didn’t do. The chances of it happening again are no greater than before – I just have to try and see it as an 80% that it WON’T happen rather than a 20% chance that it will. But yes, it is a comfort to know that we are capable of conceiving (I won’t kick you Zelda!). Seeing as we managed it the first month we actually got the timing right, I’m keeping my fingers crossed that it won’t take so long when we start trying again.

On the question of “who to tell and when”, we decided to tell our parents on the basis that if anything did go wrong we’d want their support. As it happened my in-laws were still staying with us when I started spotting and ended up driving us to the hospital. Both they and my parents have been amazing, and it’s helped just to have other people around us who know what we’ve been going through this past week. I’m glad we didn’t tell anyone else though, and if I get pregnant again I think we’ll keep it quiet until we’re in the clear. It just felt too much like getting people’s hopes up only to let them down again, you know?

I’m actually looking forward to the opportunity to discuss waking temps and cervical mucus again (the bleeding is finally slowing down, but it feels like it’s been going on for forever), but hopefully Zelda and Michelina will both be knocked up by then (in sync, or course!) and the topic will have moved on to morning sickness or something.

Oh, and I refuse to believe that my egg supply deteriorated instantly and spontaneously on the eve of my 30th birthday too. And "wazoo" is my new favourite word.
jenny_dreadful
Thanks funnybird! I still haven't seen my doctor, I had my health check today that I had to have to join the local practice, so now I'm officially able to make an appointment. Think I will get in early next week.

Julie, I've been doing the waist-thickening-examination thing too! I also caved and bought more pregnancy tests. I originally used the clearblue digital test which gives you the estimated weeks since conception. I found it quite reassuring when I did another test and it came up with "pregnant 3+ weeks" when originally it came up with "pregnant 2-3 weeks", hopefully this means I really am pregnant! I woke up on the weekend, and my boobs didn't hurt and I immediately panicked that my hormone levels had dropped. It's torturous this fretfulness! I can't wait to be out of this trimester and through the 12 week tests and with a scan picture in my hands!

Today I've had moments of feeling pukey, but still don't think it really counts as morning sickness. Something else I'm worrying about, but I know I should really just be grateful!
zelda
Funny, I have been thinking about you. You sound like you are staying very positive right now, and that's great. It is also great that you discovered the miscarriage was not a sign of anything more serious. Seriously, I am so happy to hear it. I really have been thinking of you a ton and sending you good vibes.

I checked my wazoo tonight and there's lots of EWCM - didn't have a lot today, but it's picking up tonight. Mr. Z and I didn't do it over the weekend because he wasn't feeling well...and we've decided to go ahead and wait until tomorrow in the morning (CD 11) for our first go at it...maybe to make sure his sperm is really stored up and ready to go. ;-) Also, because I tend to get EWCM for several days, I still think I'm several days away from ovulation - might as well delay just a bit. (My temps are not helping here because they are so erratic!)

I'm thinking instead of the every other day thing to try and go for CD 11, 12, and 13 this month...and maybe 14 if I can get Mr. Z on board! Just to try it...even though the every other day thing worked well to calm my moods last month, "Taking Charge" has got me thinking that until we know there's something wrong with his sperm count, every day is good, too.

Month number four, here we come. This week is sometimes stressful for me even though I wish it weren't. Will we get in some good sex? Will it feel too mechanical and too focused on the baby thing - even though I try not to make it that way. (It's like trying not to think of a pink elephant, you know?) Will we get our timing right?

And Michelina, I totally agree with julie...there are SO many women who get PG in their 30s. And your early 30s are especially not a cause for concern. Even my 38-year-old BFF was told be her doctor that women in their 30s get pregnant all the time...yes, it may take longer, and yes, the odds are higher, and yes, you shouldn't delay conception for too long - but there are millions of people walking around out there who are walking proof that "older" motherhood happens all the time.

Although I refuse to feel old at 32! :-)
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