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Cristine
Wow so much to catch up on!

Fookie, I can't believe that you have to go through this!! I agree that you should just stick it out there because it's better than the last one, closer than any other locations and a pain in the ass to switch and start all over! Hang in there, I can't imagine how tough this is for you! I really hope those dreams you had about your grandpa are at least a bit comforting!!

Zelda, I love that first part of your dream!! Sorry about the latter, I have some pretty realistic nightmares that are difficult to differentiate from reality immediately upon waking up! I know how down you feel right now, this process sucks and to think about it continuing month after month is almost just too much to take! I really hope this is your month!! And I really like Julie's interpretation of you being all of those people in your dreams, maybe that will help you with a little self analyzation... because you DO deserve to have a baby!! And I really don't think pot can permanently damage sperm, or even temporarily. It's got to be the most natural drug on the planet, it's more pure than regular cigarettes!! There are crack babies out there for crying outloud!!! Hang in there, fingers crossed!

Michelina, I hear you on hating that our bodies have to go through the process of trying to get our egg fertilized only to be met with disappointment each month. I wish I could take a break from TTC, which in turn meant that my egg would stay tucked away til I'm ready again!!

Julie, I'm so glad to hear that everything is going so well with your pregnancy and that you're enjoying the little parties he has in there!!

I am on CD 17, I believe I ovulated on Friday (temp: 96.24) afternoon and we got sex in that night and the following morning (temp: 96.46)... well within the "24-hr. life" of my egg! Then today my temp shot up to 97.27!! We got 6 days in with the last 2 days of positive OPK's as well. I'm going to take another OPK this afternoon because I want to read the LH levels of my cycle post ovulation, there are 2 more tests left so why not? And I hear Zelda & Michelina on adoption, I know my husband would rather go that route than IVF.
Michelina
Zelda, my family doctor was very reassuring that the pot would be out of Mr. M's system without weeks and would definitely not cause any permanent damage. I am almost certain you don't need to worry about Mr. Z's swimmers being damaged for good.

Thanks for letting me know how you handle the work comments. Your response is good, and I think I'll adapt something similar. I may say something to the effect of "We haven't decided if we will be having children" and leave it at that. Everytime I get a comment, I sort of just freeze and later on think of things I could have said! I'm glad to hear that the people you see socially are tactful. My close friends have been very supportive, and my one friend even teared up a little when I told her how devastating last month was for me. She has a child conceived on the first try, and she said she just cannot imagine how disappointing each month would be for us. My other friend is childfree for now, and is full of fantastic advice, support, and empathy. I am lucky to have them both for very different reasons. Unfortunately not everyone in my social circle is so wonderful so I'm going to keep it private for some time to come. I may start telling people that we are having trouble after one year so they will understand that those comments are not appreciated. I'll just see what happens.

Cristine, crossing my fingers for you!
Cristine
Michelina, I'm sorry you have a small group of crappy friends but glad that you at least have a couple that are amazing & supportive! I rarely see my closest friends, we live somewhat far apart and are just busy with our own lives... so email and Facebook keep us connected. The people I spend the most time with are my husband's friends and their wives & girlfriends, I only know those women through the men that I've known for years! So I don't confide in any of them about anything too personal. As a matter of fact I'm usually over on the side of the room with my husband and the guys because, since we've been friends so long, they pretty much consider me one of the guys... and their conversation is frankly more interesting and less shallow. I had a great lunch on Saturday with my best friend who had TTC for 1-1/2 year before IVF, it was probably the best conversation we've had so far about me TTC. I also learned that her much older husband had refused to get a SA because he had fathered kids years ago (18 & 16). Could NOT believe that he would sooner put my friend through IVF than have a simple analysis performed! So Michelina & Zelda, feel blessed that your men are so willing to do what they can to knock you guys up!! wink.gif Oh and none of "those women" have kids yet, so luckily I don't get too many irritating questions about it. But don't let those chicks get you down, honestly I'd recommend not hanging out with the ones that are the most destructive to your emotions... you just don't need that right now!

I'm on CD18, very creamy CM, I'm feeling hopeful but then again I barely just started my 2WW! We're going on a small vacation during the time that I would be starting my period... so it might be a small distraction if we missed it again this month. But we really nailed it and did everything perfect this month, so I think if I don't get pregnant then this is not going to be easy for us and we may need some assistance. Also, I'm not paying attention to the small cramps during my 2WW this time... I noticed this month that I have felt those most of the time between my period and ovulation, my boobs are a bit tender today but it's way too soon to consider that a sign!

Zelda, how's it going???
Michelina
Cristine, I am hoping for you too! It's a great thing that you will be on vacation during the time of your expected period. I will be away on a short holiday with my aunt (who I am very close to and is very supportive) around the time I expect my period next so that will be a good distraction. And if it arrives after that, at least I'll be home with Mr. M. I have promised myself not to read into things too much in future. It's one thing to hope, but another to convince yourself it's your month, and then feel very let down.

Zelda, I am thinking of you. Also, you mentioned you tried baby Aspirin one month. Did you take it the entire month, or just part of the cycle? There's a lot on the net about it, but I can't seem to find anything specifically on when in the cycle to take it. I am considering giving it a go this month along with cough syrup again.

I called the clinic and found out the doctor is away until Sept 8 now. I may get an appointment booked before then, but I am not holding my breath. Oh well, even if I get in within 3 months, that is actually not too bad.
Cristine
Stupid fertility friend drew my coverline way too low as far as I'm concerned. The only 3 days this month that I dipped below was right before, and the day of, ovulation! I'm not going to rely too heavily on that coverline, I'll just follow the trend of my temps. The soonest I can take a reliable test will be the day we leave for vacation, the following day I would start my period... so I'll at least know early enough whether or not I can drink on vacation. wink.gif

Hey, can anyone tell me when the baby would start living off of my blood supply? I know I'm not wording that right, but I read that the blastocyst doesn't actually "live off of me" until a certain point... it's not at implantation is it? I'm just nervous about drinking that first night (or 2) of my vacation in case I do end up pregnant this month.

Michelina, are you saying you have to wait for 3 months to get in after setting an appointment... if so, why?

Zelda, how are you? I believe you said that if you were to start then it would be today, I sooooo hope you don't!! I'm crossing my fingers for you!!!

zelda
Hi, everyone. Michelina, yes, I did do baby aspirin for one month (or two...can't remember). I took one every day from the day of ovulation to getting my period. It's supposed to help with implantation, so there's no real need to take it prior to ovulation (at least from what I've read). I didn't have any problems with it, but I keep forgetting to do it.

Cristine, I wouldn't worry about the blood supply thing. I've heard it takes at least a few weeks for the blood connection to occur. I'm sure it doesn't happen until around the time you miss your period, so you should be okay. I have continued to drink and eat normally (but I do take a prenatal) because I think it's actually better for my stress to do so. A woman I worked with tried to act and eat like she was pregnant (no drinking, no soft cheese, etc.) and never got pregnant. Finally she said fuck it and started living like normal and got pregnant on the 12th month of trying.

As for me, it is day 28 and still no period. I am slightly excited but about 1/3 of my cycles start on day 29, so I am really not getting *that* excited. The latest my period has ever started has been the morning of the 29th day, so if I don't have it by tomorrow afternoon, I will start allowing myself to get more hopeful But I just don't have a good feeling. I have zero symptoms - no period symptoms, no pregnancy symptoms. None. I want to be hopeful, but...god, how do those women do it - the ones who are like, "Oh, wait, I'm a few days late!" and then realize they are pregnant. I am literally counting the hours!

Mr. Z goes for his SA consultation tomorrow and then will go back later in the week to drop off his "deposit" - heh heh. I'm really glad we are getting that underway.

Will let you know my status tomorrow. Thanks for all the kinds words.
Cristine
Hmmm, never heard about the baby aspirin thing... I should go get some!

Zelda, I think no symptoms are better than period symptoms... don't you usually get some? I'm really hoping for you!!
zelda
I think I have heard that the baby aspirin is supposed to thicken the lining of the uterine wall and kill off anything that would prevent implantation. I have heard one side effect is your period is heavier than normal if you don't end up getting pregnant, but I did not experience that.

Thanks for the good luck, Cristine. As for period symptoms, they're mild when I get them. Sometimes I break out, get moody, and get diarrhea. I've had diarrhea for a few days (sorry TMI whatever)...I think I might have had mild cramps on and off but I'm SO aware of any twinge that I don't know if it's in my head or gas pains or what.

It's nice to be hopeful, but I just wish I could somehow magically transport myself to noon tomorrow and see what's going on!
Cristine
Zelda, trust me, I've gotten to the ripe age of 32 where time just goes too fast... however, now that I'm TTC I'm constantly wanting to rush through 24 hours to the next temp & CM sampling! Now I'm at a point where I want to rush through 2 weeks to figure out if this is the month for us! I can't wait for noon tomorrow to have a better determination of your status and for 1 more day down for me!

Michelina, where are you at in your cycle?

yum, how are you doing?
zelda
It's 1 am and I'm up with insomnia. Still no period though. I'm wondering if it's possible to delay a period through sheer force of will.

Please please please let it not come. Please let me make it till at least noon!!! Would love to experience that hope.

I am so tempted to do the one test in the house, but it's digital, and I really can't take staring at the words Not Pregnant right now.

My one other reason to think it's coming is that I'm getting that very clear, watery discharge TCOYF says comes right before your period...this has happened before.

ARGH. I'm going to be up all night worrying and wondering and then groggy all day tomorrow at work.

Sorry if this post sounds insane. Which it is.
Michelina
Zelda, you do not sound insane! Did you manage to get some sleep? Oh period, do not show up!

Cristine, I am on cd10 now and typically ovulate on cd17. We are going to abstain over the weekend, then have sex just a couple of times around ovulation as the doctor instructed this time. I started taking a low dose aspirin yesterday. Thanks for the info Zelda. I read a little about it creating a better blood supply to the ovaries too so I figure I'll take it now until my period starts. And I'll start the cough syrup in a few days. I haven't been temping this time, but likely will after ovulation so I can track my luteal phase.

As far as the appointment with the gyne, I mean I'll be lucky if I get an appointment within 3 months of the referral being made. I was referred a month ago, and still haven't heard a word. I still don't even know if they have my referral! I can't seem to get a straight answer.

funnybird
Zelda, any news yet? It's 2.30pm here and I've been thinking about you all day.
Cristine
Zelda, itís not insane! Weíre all hoping for you!! I have a digital test at home that came free with my OPK, but I also have 1 line stick which Iíll probably use the morning before we leave for vacationÖ I guess I might take the digital one with me cuz I just donít want to buy a whole new pack! Fookie said awhile back that we never imagined our lives would be revolving around lines and smiley faces on a stick! Boy ainít that the truth! Anyway if you donít get your period, which weíre all wishing, I say you bring out the digital & test first thing tomorrow morning. I donít know how youíve held off so long!! Itís like 11:30 in Texas right nowÖ howís it going???

Michelina, Iím going to buy baby aspirin at lunch today but Iím 4 DPO so it may be too late to be that beneficial. If Iím not pregnant this month I may try cough syrup next month, cuz the only day this month I really had any bit of EWCM was on CD8. I highly recommend you temping after ovulation, I believe you said you have good enough sleep patterns for it to be reliable. I have a large range of times that I temp because I always wake up in the middle of the night, sometime between 2-4, so I always temp thenÖ I think itís still been valuable to me. Do you have to wait for that doctor to return from vacation to find out if they have the referral yet?

Cristine
I went to the market at lunch and they didn't have ANY baby aspirin, they only had baby tylenol... will that not work for assisting in implantation?
zelda
Sorry to keep you all hanging ladies, but I can't access this site through work anymore. Thanks for all the good thoughts!

The truth is I am still hanging myself because I still don't have my period!!! I don't know what to believe. It has never been this late. Granted, it is a few hours late, but still. I went back through my calendar in an anal-retentive sort of way. Of the past 8 months, 3 periods have arrived on day 29. With all of them, my period arrived by 8 or 9 am.

It is now 4 pm here and no period. On top of that, I have had terrible, dull cramps all day. I kept running to the bathroom, sure my period had begun, but nothing.

I am trying very, very hard not to get my hopes up. I mean, really hard. But it is hard not to.

I called Mr. Z at work and am waiting for him to get home from work to test. Then I will let you know.

I'm anxious...very anxious. If this had been a few months ago, I would have let myself get excited. But after so many disappointing months, I am not letting myself go there. I just feel very scared and nervous.

You will hear from me one way or another in the next few hours. Please cross all fingers and toes for me.
Michelina
Fingers and toes are all crossed, Zelda!!!
zelda
Oh, ladies........I am heartbroken.

I couldn't wait for Mr. Z to test...so I just did with a cheap Walgreens brand.

Negative.

I don't understand. My period has never been this late before, and my cramps are there but there is no bleeding.

I don't know.

I just don't know.

I don't think it's early enough for a false negative.

I just collapsed from the most tremendous, excited high.

The only good thing is that Mr. Z went to see the doctor today and the doctor said on the surface everything looks good. We should know more about what's going on inside in a few days...
julie124
zelda, I'm so sorry...but remember that it ain't over till it's over. Fingers and toes still crossed.

Cristine, I don't think the baby Tylenol would be the same - I think the idea of the baby aspirin is to increase blood flow and I think Tylenol works differently. I have heard of women who have had miscarriage issues due to blood clots prescribed baby aspirin when they are trying to conceive (and generally through the pregnancy) but hadn't heard of it for other women. Also, just a random side note, my doc has said that Tylenol is OK for me to take for headaches and such, but aspirin, ibuprofen, and Aleve/naproxen are off limits while I'm preggers.

Baby aspirin might be hard to find in some places because of the risk of Reyes' syndrome in children, but I'm pretty sure I've seen it in the drugstore before. You might ask the pharmacist. I know a lot of docs recommend it for older adults with heart/circulatory system issues, to prevent blood clots.

Good luck, ladies!
julie124
And one more thing to remember....it's late in the day. Cheap Walgreens test (which may not be as sensitive to the HCG) + nonconcentrated urine + still pretty early in the pregnancy if you are pregnant = we just don't know.

Head up...we're here for you no matter what the outcome.
zelda
I am wondering now if I oversaturated the test...would that have made a difference? It said to dip the entire absorbent strip in there...I did, but I think I got some of the test wet, too.

I don't know what to do. I'm wondering if what I'm feeling are implantation cramps and therefore I'm not generating enough HCG yet? But that would be so late for implantation...

Of course I'm also thinking my cramps and no period are a sign of a deadly disease that will render me infertile.

All I know is my period has never been this late before and I'm having weird cramps and no bleeding.

Fuck it I'm depressed and confused.

Thanks for the kind words, Julie.

What do y'all think I should do next?
Cristine
Zelda, I think itís way too late in the day to rely on the results of that test! I think you should test first thing in the morning and with a more reliable brand. Even the dreaded digital test! Plus, some women donít test positive until days after missing a period. I am not convinced yet that youíre not pregnant! Try not to get too down, weíre all here for you! And I donít think urine on the plastic part of the test would affect the results, thatís just my non-professional opinion.

Julie, thanks, I just barely heard about the baby aspirin thing yesterday and really didnít know how it aided in implantation. Do you think at 4 DPO that itís probably too late anyway? And I donít know if I even want to risk it considering the blood clot/ miscarriage issue!

yumyum
Hi everyone, I'm back from vacation and trying to catch up on the goings on here- it looks like I missed quite a bit.

First off, (((Funnybird))) and (((Fookie))).
zelda- I waited until I was probably 3-4 days late until I tested, so maybe it's just too early! Fingers and toes are crossed.
christine- sounds like you're having a promising cycle- my fingers and toes are crossed for you too!
michelina- where are you at in your cycle? I've reserved some fingers and toes for you too smile.gif
I'm sorry if I missed anyone or any big news!

As for me, I've been pretty sick for the last few weeks. I'm hoping this is the peak, because it does make work challenging. Also, I start grad school back up next week. Yikes. I've been told that "morning" sickness is a sign of a healthy pregnancy, so I'm trying to concentrate on that. We have our first prenatal appointment next Friday- very exciting. Despite overwhelming evidence, there's still a part of me that doesn't believe this is real, so it'll be wonderful to see a heartbeat and get the thumbs up from the doc.
Cristine
yum, I am so glad things are going so well!! I know the morning sickness must suck but glad that it's actually a positive indicator for a healthy pregnancy! smile.gif And, I know I'll probably take these words back when it happens to me, but I got so excited when you mentioned that cuz morning sickness will mean I'M PREGNANT!!!
zelda
Let me just say this night fucking sucks.

I cannot handle this emotional roller coaster.

I still haven't gotten my period...not sure what is up. If it hasn't come by Friday I will test again.

Mr. Z came home (I told him about the test)...he went to the doctor today. He liked him very much. First of all, the doctor told him 7-8 months of trying is not abnormal, but it makes sense that he would want to get checked out.

He examined him and said externally everything looked good. What he was concerned about was the fact that Mr. Z has sleep apnea. Apparently this can affect testosterone levels. Because Mr. Z uses the breathing machine, the doctor thinks that should correct the levels, but he took blood to see. As for the pot, the doctor said it might affect things, it might not.

He wants Mr. Z to give two samples over the next two weeks, so he can be really sure Unfortunately, Mr. Z is not scheduled to go back in and get the results from the doctor until October 9th. I thought maybe we would get the results faster. He didn't ask if we could at least get an all clear if things are normal. He's going to have to call about that.

At least he liked the doctor but he was really down when he came home. He said he felt like a failure. It was a hard night tonight and we both shed some tears...I tried to get him to see he is not a failure, but he said it is not easy when everyone else is getting pregnant around us. I told him I knew how true that was.

Bottom line at least we are going to know something sooner, and hopefully if things are abnormal something can be done about it.

He even told me that he would not mind if I had an artificial insemination from a sperm donor!! I started crying because it was sweet but also sad. I don't want to think about that. I don't know if I could do that. I told him there's every chance there's something wrong with me or nothing wrong with either of us.

I know we are getting ahead of ourselves.

Anyway, it has been a hard day and I just want to go to sleep. I just cannot take this emotional fucking roller coaster. And I'm sitting here not even sure what is going on with my own body.
Michelina
(((Zelda))) I am sorry that you still don't know whether you are pregnant or not. Testing in the morning tomorrow or Friday is a good idea. Right now you are probably very worried about the resulting awful feelings if you see a negative again. Hang in there and hold onto that hope.

It sounds like you and Mr Z had a great talk - got some things out that needed to be said. He really does sound like an incredible man. And I am also glad you got some reassurance that 7 to 8 months of trying really isn't that long. Remember, this is still in the average timeframe! But it's hard because you want to have a baby now and want to know that you as a couple are physically capable of having a baby. At least that's how it is for me. I wonder why the SA results will take so long. Hopefully you'll hear earlier if all is normal.

Yumyum, great to hear from you. Sorry to hear about the morning sickness, but as you say, it is a good sign. I keep praying to the universe that I'll take the morning sickness if I could just GET pregnant!

Cristine, the baby aspirin is also sold as "low dose ASA." That's what mine is. Julie, is right - Tylenol won't give you the same effect as Tylenol is not a blood thinner like aspirin. It has a completely different mechanism. And aspirin is used to help women who have miscarriages. It is not advised to take it once pregnant unless directed by a doctor, but before you get your positive, it probably couldn't hurt. At least that's what I understand. Starting it now should be just fine as implantation doesn't typically occur until 6 to 12 days, I believe.
julie124
((zelda))
Just peeked in to see what was up. Glad to hear that Mr. Period (as I not-so-fondly used to refer to mine) has not yet made an appearance. Keep breathing, my dear. You don't have some sort of terrible disease that is going to render you infertile. At worst, your body is just being wonky for this cycle and your period is coming. Having a little blip on one cycle sucks, but it's also completely normal.

But it's also possible that you are pregnant...right at the beginning it's common to get some weird pains and stuff in the pelvic area, because stuff is starting to stretch out and readjust. It's a very weird feeling, hard to describe, and I think different women experience it differently (in fact...I remember reading a lot of stories about women who were pregnant who were CONVINCED their period was imminent because all their usual symptoms were there). Try to pace yourself...if you are pregnant, this is just the beginning of the emotional roller coaster, believe me.

Glad you and Mr. Z were able to share some of your fears and worries, and glad to hear that he had a good experience with the doc. Continue to take care of each other. Your future kid is going to be the luckiest kid ever, because his/her parents want him/her sooo bad!

yumyum, welcome back! Sorry to hear about the morning sickness...I was interested to learn that the reason it normally gets better or goes away after about 12 weeks is because the placenta takes over more of the hormone maintenance, so your body doesn't have to deal with progesterone gone amuck. I'm very excited for you to have your appointment...it really will make things seem a bit more real for you.

Take care ladies! zelda....hoping you can get some rest tonight.
zelda
Hey guys...just wanted to let you know my period just showed up now in the middle of the night - 2 am on day 30. I can't sleep now so I thought I would just come on here and let you know. I'm utterly wrecked and having a hard time figuring out what to do next other than just go back to bed and have a good cry. I never thought it would be so difficult to just get pregnant.
funnybird
Oh Zelda, sweetie, I'm so so sorry. I don't know what else to say. Fuck, that sucks so much. I wish we could all get together in some bar somewhere to drink and bitch about all of this.

((((((Zelda))))))
Michelina
(((Zelda)))

Funnybird, I wish we could all get together and bitch too. Doing it over beer would be way more fun than this way too.
eyelet
Damn it. I really was pulling for you Zelda.

Checking in to say life with Elowen is still going well. All my regret and sadness about my home birth going awry and my reduced milk supply are irrelevant now because I spend every day thanking every force in the universe that she is so good natured. We took her to a friend's restaurant opening last night and she was a dream. So relaxed, just taking it all in. Then we came home and she slept from midnight to 6:30 uninterrupted!

My partner has also made great progress. Each time he's left alone with her for a few hours, they become more bonded. The more confidence he has in caring for her the more of a dad he becomes. I love to watch him beam when he talks about her.

I'm still lurking in this thread hoping for everyone to conceive and have healthy pregnancies.

smile.gif
Cristine
Between last nightís heart-wrenching conversation with Mr. Z and todayís horrible period, I canít begin to tell you how sorry I amÖ this totally sucks Zelda!!! But Iím sure the comfort of your amazing husband is a bit of help during this awful time. I hope you get some SA results sooner than they estimated!

Michelina, one of the many online calendars I use says that I will ovulate as early as today but as late as SaturdayÖ which today is CD 21 & Iím 5 or 6 DPO (depending on if itís calculated at when my egg came out or when it was either fertilized or died), but yeah Iíve heard implantation can take a little longer so weíll see. And thatís exactly what I was trying to say about morning sickness, Iíll take it gladly if itís accompanied by a healthy pregnancy and followed by a precious baby!!

Funny, it would be great if we could all get together over a beerÖ or 8!! Speaking of, Zelda you should go out with Mr. Z for a great dinner and a few margaritas!!! Getting tipsy is about the next best thing to getting pregnant as far as Iím concerned!!

Eyelet, thanks for checking in and congratulations on such a sweet & healthy little girl!

Zelda, I really canít begin to come up with anything to say to make you feel better at this pointÖ I donít think any of us thought getting knocked up would be so hard! Both me & my brother were accidents, my mom was a spring chicken at 22 when I was born & 30 with my bro. Anyway, I know itís probably too soon to give you advice for next month but I highly suggest you start charting. I know you have irregular sleep patterns but, like you said, now that school is back in session you may be on a regular enough schedule to take reliable temperatures. I didnít wake up at my usual mid-night interval so I took my completely inaccurate high temp at 6:10 this morning. Hang in there Zelda, IT WILL HAPPEN!!
zelda
Guys, thank you SO much...you don't know how much better it makes me feel to come here and read your comforting words. I mean it means SO much.

I'll respond more later to everyone, but I did want to give you an update. Mr. Z is going to take his first semen sample in tomorrow. When he goes, he is going to ask when he should take in the second sample (he wasn't clear on that although I am glad they're getting two samples because then we can be super sure of the results).

I went ahead and made an appointment with my GYN for September 16th. Mr. Z is going to let his doc know and ask if there's any possible way we can get results a little sooner, so that when I go in, we have one piece of the puzzle.

I also took a moment today to inform the dean I report to (who I adore) about my situation. I consider her a friend, so it wasn't awkward. I told her that I may have to be leaving a little early for doctor's appointments...she said she would be happy to watch my classes for me if necessary and told me that she was there for us and had her support. That really meant a lot to me because one of my concerns was if we do end up doing IUI and going to the doctor regularly, etc., I'm going to need some understanding at work.

Mr. Z continues to amaze me with his love and devotion. I know that this experience is bringing us closer, and I am so grateful to have him in my life. He left me a note this morning for me to read when I got home from work that told me how much he loves me...made me tear up.

Overall I felt like today was a proactive day, and that helped my mood tremendously. Soon we will at least have some information. One step at a time.

More later and lots of love to all. THANK YOU...from the bottom of my BUSTie heart.
yumyum
((((zelda)))) I'm so sorry to hear that your period arrived. I think it's good that you and your husband are going ahead with some testing- I think it will give you some peace of mind. October does sound like an awfully long time to wait for the lab results from his SA. Anyway, I'm thinking of you.
Cristine
Hey guys, just wanted to post about a dream my husband had... a female doctor called him to confirm my positive pregnancy test. It's just a dream, doesn't mean anything but he never has dreams like that so I just got really excited! Ok, that's it for now ladies...
zelda
I have had those dreams and they are always great to have, Cristine...hopefully it's a positive sign!

Mr. Z dropped off his first sample this morning. The nurse told him we should know the results in a week, so that's good...no waiting until October. I have my first appointment September 16th, so at least we will know one piece of the puzzle before going in.

Mr. Z's doc wants a second sample a week before his October 9th appointment...I guess two samples five weeks apart will give his doc a very clear picture of the situation.

Don't know how I will stand waiting a week! But at least soon we will know SOMETHING.
Cristine
Oh Zelda, I'm so happy you only have to wait a week! It sucks so bad that Mr. Z said he feels like a failure and I really hope the results (fingers crossed!) give him a little boost in his self esteem!! He seems genuinely amazing, your future babies are going to be so lucky to have you as parents!! I know waiting yet another week seems unbearable at this point, but a week flies by so fast! wink.gif Keep us posted!
Michelina
Zelda, yay! I am so happy you won't have to wait a super long time to get that first result. A week is still a while, but it's a huge improvement. Like Cristine said, if normal, this result will be a much needed boost. And chances are very good it will be normal. All digits crossed for you.

Cristine, I am also hoping the dream was a positive sign... for an upcoming positive!

Eyelet, nice to hear from you. I am so glad to hear that parenthood is treating both of you well. Elowen sounds like a little angel.

I am on CD12 and am noticing a lot of fertile CM. I am going to start testing tomorrow even though I don't expect my surge until CD15. Here we go again...
Cristine
Michelina, YES start testing now!!! Get started on loading up his swimmers over the next several days! I started testing on CD 11 this month and ovulated on CD 15 or 16 (my 2 positive OPK days)! Good luck!!! smile.gif
zelda
Good luck, Michelina and Cristina!

I feel better knowing my heaviest days are over...ugh...just hate getting my period and having to deal with it.

I'm relieved Mr. Z was able to drop off the sample and now something is being done about this situation...no more agonizing and wondering. We will know something and that will surely help. I'm feeling sad about things but also much better in terms of just being proactive.

Unfortunately, this month may be difficult for us re: trying. I will be leaving very early on CD 15 and will be gone until CD 18 for an out of town wedding, and Mr. Z won't be coming with me. I suppose we will try for CD 12 and 14 and if that's all we can get in this month, so be it. It may not be so bad to take a month "off" so to speak.

zelda
Mr. Z and I have agreed to put the kibosh on babymaking talk this week...we need to clear our heads and it seems that's all we've been talking about for the past few days. Of course, I can't help but think about his SA every minute! One thing that concerns me...Mr. Z said he didn't have a lot of semen in his sample - he said he often has more, but wonders if "nerves" played into it. I think it should be enough for an analysis - I *hope* - but now of course I'm worried about that.

Also, Mr. Z's doctor suggested a scan of his testicles if things are not normal. Has anyone ever heard of this?

I'm trying to get into a mental place that something is wrong...trying to prepare myself for a negative report. Not that it will make it any easier, but...just trying to put myself there just in case. Last night Mr. Z promised me he would "do whatever it takes" to get us pregnant. That meant so much.

He's going to start calling on Wednesday just in case the results come in sooner...I hope they do!!!
Cristine
Zelda, I know this is such a hard time for you but I don't think preparing yourself for the absolute worst would make it much easier. Just try not to torture yourself... of course it's understandable that you can't stop thinking about the SA results, who could? I have never heard of a testicle scan but that sounds great! I love that Mr. Z is willing to do any & all things to get you pregnant, he sounds like a great man! Getting pregnant is obviously not easy, I would wait for at least a year to start becoming highly concerned, I think it's terrific that you guys are being proactive with tests. My best friend who had IVF after 1-1/2 yrs. said to start tests at 6 mo. and start worrying at 1 yr., she quietly lived through that hell so I take her words to heart.

I had an irritating conversation with a 36 yr. old co-worker yesterday. We got on the baby topic and he asked about us, since I don't want to start giving monthly reports I just said since I'm 32 now that we decided to "just see what happens". He responded saying his young wife told him 2 weeks before her 29th birthday that they need to start a family. He then proceeded to tell me how it's best if the woman's first baby is born by 28. WTF?! Why the hell did I need to hear that? I am so done talking about this with people who haven't ever had to try yet!

Zelda, hang in there. With all that your husband is willing to do to get you pregnant, I think it's safe to say that there will soon be a bun in that oven! All my thoughts and good wishes are with you!!
zelda
Thanks, Cristine for the comforting words...I still have faith. Re: your coworker...there are, quite frankly, lots of morons out there. Even people who don't mean to be morons can say stupid things. I had drinks with a coworker the other night - now normally this woman and I get along GREAT, but she is not the person I need to be talking to about the baby topic. (She brings it up...one more reminder why I should never have told so many people we were trying.)

Anyway, it's like she cannot believe I am not pregnant after 8 months of trying. She actually said, "And you guys are having sex, right?" I sort of lost it with her and said, "Look, I hate to tell you this, but it is not as easy as it appears. Yes, I, too, thought that having unprotected sex once would magically lead to conception, but it's not like that." Everyone she knows got pregnant after 2 or 3 months (or so they say), so she cannot understand that 8 months is not only unheard of, it's normal, too.

Speaking of irritating coworkers...a few months back, I ran into a former coworker at the gym who was leaving with her two kids. She asked me (guess what) when I planned on having kids. I said something like, "Well, we're hoping soon..." or whatever. She goes, "Just try two glasses of wine. That's what worked for me."

Well yesterday I am having a talk with yet a different coworker who happened to mention that woman and her husband tried for SEVEN YEARS and she was on Clomid before having her first. Yet she totally lied to me and told me all it took was two glasses of wine! Why do people lie about this? Because it's scarring or embarrassing? If I ever get pregnant, I plan to be completely open about the fact that it did not happen right away. Why not? I'm not ashamed.

I've been freaking myself out by reading up on SA on the internet (I know, stop it). Apparently nerves can affect results including amount of sperm. So now I'm freaked out that the results will not be accurate. Of course I guess that's why it's good that a second SA is going to be done in a month or so.

Sigh...
Cristine
Zelda I have no idea why someone would choose to lie instead of being able to help another person! I will not let the length of TTC determine my pride, all my pride will be in that baby at the end! Oh and that was another thing I wanted to mention... I personally don't think the amount of semen could affect test results. I know you read it on the internet but I bet if you keep searching you'll also find out that it can spontaneously combust too! wink.gif Anyway, I could be wrong but that just doesn't sound right... and I'm glad he will have a follow-up analysis, sounds like he's got a good doctor!
Michelina
Cristine and Zelda, I hear both of you on the irritating and often insenstive comments from others. I think I told you that one of my coworkers is pregnant. Well, during a staff meeting this week my manager actually looked around and asked "any other pregnancies to report?" If I had just gotten my period that day, I swear I would have lost it. Everyone laughed and I politely smiled, but did not burst out laughing because that would be entirely fake and frankly, I don't find it funny. She also said to me the other day "You think you are busy now, try having kids!" I felt like screaming, "that's what I'm F*&^%ing trying to do!" She has a nursing background so it kind of astonishes me. I have thought of telling her this fall as I will likely have a lot of medical appointments coming up. Maybe that would shut her up. The others in my department are okay about it, thankfully although I imagine they have speculated behind my back more than once now that we are married and have a house. I can't fault them for that, I guess, but can fault people for making inappropriate comments.

Cristine, how did that guy think that saying women should have babies by 28 honestly think that comment would help? Oh I'll just slip into my time machine and pop into the sperm bank. Seriously.

Zelda, I know that a reduced amount of sperm can indicate a problem when it is regularly a small amount, BUT that is why they want more than one sample. Men producing a smaller amount due to nerves, missing the container, etc probably happens all of the time. If that was not normal for Mr. Z, then I don't think you need to worry. And I can't imagine that the results would be affected because it's all done based on concentration.

One thing I have noticed since Mr. M's result came in is that I am blaming myself more for not having a baby on the way yet. I know it's crazy, and I need to control my negative thoughts - they can send me down very quickly. I need to repeat to myself, "this is normal, this is normal, this is normal."

And that brings me to my next rant. WTF is up with people lying about TTC time? That woman who had 7 years of infertility needs to have her head examined. She could be a huge support to women in the TTC boat, but instead tries to falsely portray her own experience. And for what reason? I agree Cristine, I will also be very open once we have our baby. It doesn't make me less a woman, Mr. M less a man, or we as a couple any less deserving to be parents.

Wow, I am really ranting today! Feels great. :-)

I tested yesterday and had quite a dark line (not positive though) at cd12, which is not typical for me. I'll test again today, and if it's positive, then we'll get busy. If not, we'll wait and abstain until the positive appears. I would love to get back to regularly ovulating on cd15 and a 13 or 14 day LP!



julie124
First, zelda, so sorry about your period arriving, but glad to hear the the first SA is happening sooner rather than later.

As far as people's insane comments...well, I think I'm just starting to accept that people often don't think before they talk. Unless you're close to someone who is going through fertility challenges, or have gone through them yourself, it might not occur to you how some of this stuff sounds. I've noticed that a lot of men especially don't seem to get the urgency for women when they want to conceive - they think it's a weird quirk or something, like that PMS thing they've always heard about. I'm willing to bet that for that guy who made the stupid get-back-in-your-DeLorean-and-start-trying-at-28 comment, there was probably a lot more going on on his wife's side of the equation that he doesn't even comprehend.

I guess I also have a bit more compassion for the "just two glasses of wine" person. It's possible that both things are true...that she struggled for a long time to conceive, went on Clomid, but in the end she credits the two glasses of wine thing more than anything else. Maybe she and her husband gave up on the hardcore trying and she got pregnant then. Maybe she was totally stressed out from all the hormones and all the crap and said, fuck it, let's drink and got pregnant then. It's possible that she noted your stress level and was trying to be helpful (although as we all know, the "just relax and it will happen" thing is useless and infuriating advice, because can you really force yourself to relax? Hells no!). Or, it's possible that she wanted to be encouraging but didn't want to scare you/relive her own ordeal by getting into it. (I do find it interesting that one of your other coworkers knows all this business about her fertility treatments, though.)

I find that a lot of these things we just don't talk about, and they get glossed over, which means that folks end up feeling more alone in their situation. I remember a couple years ago when I had an abnormal pap smear and had to have a colposcopy, and I was really freaked out (more so about what it would do to my fertility than to the possibility of having cervical cancer, ironically). I confided in a couple friends and (even though I tended to keep things really close to the vest at work) even let one of my work colleagues besides my boss know, and come to find out almost all of them had gone through this themselves, some of them multiple times. My work colleague said, "You know, I think this is one of those things that a lot of women have been through but just don't talk about...like miscarriages." It's true...all these women had gone through this before me, and a lot of them had probably gone through it alone too.

People are going to be thoughtless, even people who should freakin' KNOW BETTER! And frankly, some people mean well but they just have an epic FAIL when it comes to how to handle difficult situations. A lot of these people have no self-awareness, but I am willing to bet that there are others who are privately kicking themselves over things they've said to you guys.

All of this is not to excuse this behavior or to discourage you from ranting about it. In fact, I think ranting in private and as compassionately as possible refuting these kinds of statements in person (when you feel like you can) are probably the only things you can do. Some people don't realize how thoughtless this stuff sounds until it's spelled out for them. Some people can't spell and aren't going to learn. Meanwhile, you gotta take care of yourself. That's all I got.
zelda
Julie, you do raise a good point about the two glasses of wine coworker (by the way...the other coworker who knew the reality of the situation was one of her closest confidantes and when she told me the truth of the situation, she just assumed I knew as well...she probably shouldn't have been spilling this woman's business, BUT...)

However, I think what I have learned from this is that I won't plan on asking *any* woman when she plans on having a baby...I think two glasses of wine should have at least learned that...if the other woman doesn't bring it up, why ask when you know there's a chance it could be painful for someone? Especially when you've been through that pain before? I can see your point that she chose to rewrite her conception history for herself - that's valid. But I think someone who has been through all that would probably know better not to ask.

I do agree though that women do tend to keep painful things private even though so many of us have been through it. I think I've mentioned on this thread that I have HSV-2...more commonly known as genital herpes. Mr. Z is a carrier who has never had a breakout, so he didn't know he had it when he gave it to me. I'm lucky in that I only have one or two breakouts a year and they're really mild. I do worry about delivering a baby, but I've been told it's highly likely I could have a vaginal birth.

Anyway, after I got it, I felt so isolated...then through conversations, I discovered literally 4 or 5 women I know who also have it. And it's no big deal. Yet we're all so afraid to admit to things up front. Herpes, women's health issues, miscarriages, rape, infertility, domestic abuse...so many things women go through are shrouded in secrecy because we're embarrassed or perhaps deeply scarred by our experiences. (Certainly not likening rape to an STD...but just saying there's that common thread of silence there.)
Cristine
Zelda, you're totally right... I too ask women when they plan on getting pregnant, I so should not be doing that with all I've learned about TTC.

Michelina, have you had a positive OPK yet? Gettin' busy??????? wink.gif

I had a dream last night that a woman (don't know who she was) told me that my cervical fluid was healthy, in a kind of scolding way since she apparently didn't like me asking if it's normal to have some level of it throughout my entire cycle. Anyway, another random/ means nothing/ hopeful dream I guess. I'm on CD 24, 8 DPO, fingers crossed...
Michelina
Julie, I really liked hearing your thoughts on people sharing their experiences and asking about TTC. I guess that I am very sensitive to questions and "advice" because I myself have always been in tune with the plight of couples struggling to conceive. My mother struggled with infertility with her second husband so fertility is not something I ever took for granted. I cannot expect everyone around me to be equally in tune, and sometimes feel it is my responsibility to gently remind them that not everyone easily gets pregnant. Of course I don't want people reading into my own situation, so I tend to keep my mouth shut. At some point I am sure it will get easier: either we conceive, or we are well into the process of adoption.

Cristine, I don't think necessarily that asking a woman when she is planning children is inappropriate. When having a private conversation with a girlfriend, I sometimes inquire. But I only ask if that person is somewhat close to me and if we are already having a conversation about having children and I can see she is comfortable with the subject. I don't mind being asked in that situation. In fact a friend's husband asked us the other day, and it didn't bother me at all because of the way he asked. He could see I am crazy about his baby son. I told him that someday we would like kids.

I had a positive OPK at cd13! And I had lots of bleeding yesterday along with CM. I don't think I have ever bled that much around ovulation time. I read that low dose ASA increases the blood flow to the ovaries so I wonder if it's the low dose ASA contributing to it. The temp was still low today so I think ovulation is coming today or tomorrow.
zelda
Good luck, Michelina!

I really hope I ovulate before going out of town. Since my period came late, everything is bumped back a little. I think if we get a normal SA result, it's going to help tremendously. If it's not normal, I wonder if we will even feel like trying this month, or if we'll just be filled with a sense of futility. Please, please, please let it be normal! I'm so scared it won't be, and I won't know how to react if it isn't.

Michelina, you mentioned something about the SA being done based on concentration? What does that mean? And you're right about the volume of semen not being normal for Mr. Z. He says he usually has more...so hopefully the second sample will be more average.

I found out that Mr. Z's doctor not only ordered a regular SA, he ordered some other test (an RSO?) that can determine DNA damage in the sperm - or something like that. A chemiluminescent assay? So we are really going to have a good idea of what is going on when all is said and done - something I am truly grateful for.

I also did some research on Mr. Z's doc...turns out he is the chief of the division of male reproductive medicine and surgery for one of the big teaching hospitals in town AND a specialist in male reproductive health. He has published a LOT, including info on the effects of recreational drugs on sperm. So he is not just a regular urologist. I feel really, really good that Mr. Z is going to him and likes him. If there are problems (and we are hoping there will not be), we are in good hands, and hopefully he can suggest strategies to fix whatever could be wrong.
julie124
Michelina, I agree with you - so much depends on context, how you bring things up, and your relationship to the person. It does kind of kill me how inappropriate people can be sometimes, especially about having kids. One of my childless by choice friends confided in me recently that she HATES baby showers, not because she has anything against kids or pregnancy, but because it often creates a situation where she gets questioned about "so, when are you going to have kids?", often by people who barely know her or don't know her at all. She is very comfortable with her choice (her husband and she made this decision before they got married) and she loves nurturing other people's children, but when this question comes up she often finds herself in the position of having to defend herself, which is ridiculous. I think the thing that gets me (about this and about a lot of the insensitive/inappropriate stuff you guys are dealing with) is that so often this is none of the person's beeswax and yet they feel totally justified in asking such questions. And zelda, you're totally right about two glasses of wine lady...she should absolutely have known better.

Cristine, Michelina, good luck! Thinking of you guys.

zelda, the urologist sounds very promising. Thinking good thoughts for the SA results.

Okay, I need to go feed the beast now. Baby hungry!
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