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eyelet
Welcome Italianwife. I'm 43 (today!), and had my daughter Elowen June 10th.

Thanks for the recipe Ananke. I'm eating a big serving of oatmeal (porridge) every morning, but the next time I have a sweet tooth, I'll try the cookies. I've wondered if sprinkling flax seeds and sesame seeds in various foods would help. I bought a book called "Making More Milk," but never have enough down time to read it cover to cover. If she's asleep I'm either working, cleaning, or pumping.

Since it's my b-day today I'm going to go do a little shopping for clothes that make me feel prettier and maybe some makeup at Sephora since it's size-free. From there going to my godson's b-day party (he's autistic and his parties are always inspired by something from his vivid imagination--today his air band will perform to Mary J Blige and Santana, and the invitations are back-stage passes). Then tonight we're going to dinner tonight at our friends new restaurant and my sister will take care of the babe.

Elowen has had two great nights in a row where she nursed exclusively and had no bottles. For me that's a really big deal, because I'm trying to at least get a meal or two of breastmilk into every day and if I can do it at night, it takes the pressure off the day (when she seems much less inclined to do it). I've found there are 3 criteria we have to meet for her to breastfeed: 1) we're laying down, 2) she's not yet starving, 3) I'm fairly full of milk and/or she's sleepy enough to be patient with how slow it is. If we have all that, she's a champion nurser and we could continue doing this for the long haul. I have to be kind to myself about this, because I think most people would have given up long ago.

Have had nice birthday wishes all morning from all over the world and it's nice to feel loved.

I know I never respond individually to people's ongoing stories, but I definitely am following them with hopefulness and encouraging thoughts...

Was it julie who wanted pregnancy support hose? I spent over $50 on a pair and wore them once before the heat started in Texas so I didn't get much use out of them. They are probably a large or xl, since I'm a 10-12 American size. You might be way smaller than that, but I just thought I'd offer.

Off to be a consumer!
Cristine
Welcome Italianwife! I'm 32, in month 5 of TTC.

Eyelet, happy birthday from California!! Congratulations on Elowen nursing exclusively from you, that's terrific! Your patience has been admirable and I really hope it pays off for you! Oh and your godson's birthdays sound amazing!

I took an OPK yesterday and it was negative, but I looked back on last month and it was also negative on CD 14... we had sex though because I'm fairly certain I will ovulate today or tomorrow. I'll take another OPK this afternoon and hopefully get some sex in too!
yumyum
Hello everyone!! I feel like I've been a way for so long. I better get to reading- there is so much to catch up on! I haven't had much time to visit the board lately, now that I'm back in school, working full time, and so tired from the pregnancy.

Things have been going relatively smoothly so far. I'll be 12 weeks along tomorrow and the pregnancy sickness is starting to decrease. Unfortunately, I came down with a flu yesterday, so I've been feeling pretty crappy due to that. I had my first ultrasound a few weeks ago- we saw the heartbeat (amazing) and the doc even pointed out to us that our baby was moving. It was surreal. I'm going to try to come by on a more regular basis (still have my fingers crossed for all who are ttc)!

Gotta go blow my nose and curl up into a ball now.
Cristine
yum, it is so great to hear from you! I'm glad all is well with your pregnancy and that you got to see the baby's heartbeat already! I've been getting kind of discouraged lately, like if it doesn't happen this month that I don't want to continue trying for now, but your excitement just reminded me of my ultimate goal. I hope you get better soon!
ananke
Welcome Italianwife! I'm Ananke and eyelet and I had our babies on the same day - my little girl's name is Fallon. I'm 28.

That is incredibly awesome news on the nursing eyelet! Such great work! I really admire how much effort you've put in to it all and how hard you have worked. It's so great that it's paying off.

I'm home from getting the gallbladder out - surgery went well although I got pretty sick in recovery (trying to get out of bed and take the mask off to throw up and flailing around) and ended up with triple doses of anti-emetics. I'm sore and nursing is difficult but we're muddling through. I pump a fair bit since i keep getting blocked ducts in my left boob but nothing clears it like Fallon nursing so we went back to bed this morning to feed. It looks like I haven't gotten any complications so far, which is good. I did end up bleeding through my bellybutton the night after the surgery and because I bled all over the bathroom floor I thought I''d gotten my period back, because that's just how my luck would come. I've got four incisions and dressings and 2 of them are through stretchmarks!

I'm still pretty tired though, and sore. It's really difficult not picking her up or cuddling her too close since she's just worked out the things coming out her hips do this kicking motion (if she isn't strapped into a seat she'll kick herself out of it).

yumyum, the flu while pregnant sucks so bad - I recommend the fancy soft tissues with aloevera and crap. I ended up with contact dermatitis because of how much sniffling I was doing while pregnant. That first ultrasound is just so incredible, when the little heart thumps.

I'm crossing my fingers for good news for everyone TTC!
Michelina
Welcome and congrats, Italianwife! I am from Canada, 31 years, and TTC for 8 months.

Yumyum, great hearing from you! I had been wondering how you are doing. Fantastic news about your ultrasound. I can't believe you are already 12 weeks. Where has the time gone? Maybe it hasn't gone as quickly for you as for me. Get over that flu soon!

Ananke, glad to hear the surgery went well and I wish you a speedy recovery. Must be hard not to be able to hold your little one as easily as you'd like.

Eyelet, happy birthday!

Cristine, it sounds like you are pretty consistent with when you ovulate so I think your plan to just go for it and not put too much stock in the OPK is a good one. Hope you are all loaded up! ;-)

Zelda, I swear if anyone else tells me to relax, I'll blow up. I so know what you mean. My mom even likened me to some woman on a recent Dr. Phil re: infertility and then said that some doctor was on the show saying that stress does hinder conception. Seriously, show me the proof! I was not happy when she said that and I feel like I'm being blamed for us not conceiving when I hear comments like that. It also makes me feel like I seem like a complete spazz to everyone who knows we are TTC. And that just feels awful. As far as feeling detached sometimes, I think that's a normal and healthy response to a stressful situation. I wish I felt that way more often. This last week was really rough on me.

I am on CD8. I am really dreading the progesterone suppositories and worry that after a few months, I'll be throwing in the towel on the whole thing. But like Cristine said, we are reminded by all of the expecting and mother Busties that the end goal is a baby, and that's worth an awful lot.
zelda
Hey, Michelina! Thinking of you and glad you wrote an update...let me tell you, my BFF mentioned the "relaxing" thing to me today and I just ignored it. It was like, "I know you just need to relax and it will all be okay" sort of offhand remark. I just moved past it. There's no sense in arguing with her over it, but sadly, I think I'm going to have to really censor what I say to her in terms of my TTC feelings.

The thing is, I do not even think I am that "stressed" about it! Maybe down and blue, but not stressed. While I'm at work, I rarely think about it. Mr. Z and I had a delightful day today going to lunch, movies, book shopping, etc. and I was not at all "stressed". I am sure you can say the same thing, Michelina.

The thing is, *she* often is the one to ask me what day I am in my cycle because she is very anxious for me to get pregnant so we have our babies close together!! So in a sense she doesn't help me!

I hate to censor what I say to her, but at the same time, I can't bear to hear her tell me to relax one more time. Argh!

I truly believe people say these things to us because they are at a loss of what *to* say, so they think they should say something nice. I would give a million dollars to just hear someone say, once, "Wow, that's a hard thing to be going through. Let me know if you want someone to just listen." I don't WANT to hear, "Just relax" or "You can always adopt" or "Drink two glasses of wine" or "Stop trying and it will happen" or "Go on a vacation." I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR THIS ANYMORE.

Okay, venting done.

Thank you.

Michelina, have you decided how you are going to take the progesterone? Let us know when you start. I am sure it is normal to be nervous about it, but I for one am excited to see the positive effect it will almost certainly have on your cycle and TTC.

Ananke, sorry about the gall bladder surgery...I've had a few friends that have had that done, but their recovery time was relatively quick. And they all felt better afterward. Good to hear from you.

Happy Birthday to you, Eyelet!

Yumyum, thanks for checking in...don't let it be so long until the next time. It seems like just yesterday you were announcing your pregnancy on this thread.

(((BUSTies)))

Thanks for letting me vent tonight.
Michelina
Zelda, I see why your BFF is so excited for you and it seems she is full of "advice." Maybe you could talk to her about the whole "don't stress" thing and suggest the responses that you just gave. She may have had similar feelings when TTC (didn't you say it took one year?) but just may need the reminder. People seem to easily forget.

I feel the same way, Zelda. Although the situation may be stressful and difficult, I am not stressed out for the most part. I exercise, eat and sleep well, have a social life, and rarely think about TTC at work. I have tried to explain to my mother that I have been through more stress than this in my lifetime. I think all told, I am doing pretty well. I guess that's why the comments hurt.

I was frustrated at work the other day because everyone was talking about one staff member's family member who has been TTC for about 18 months. She and her husband have unexplained infertility. She is going through IUI now. Everyone started saying things like "they need to stop thinking about it" or "they need to go on vacation," and I just felt like they were being very judgemental. I spoke up in her defense. I reminded everyone that her doctor told her she has a 3% chance of conception per month (I guess the idea is that if you tried that long, there is something hindering conception) and that I could hardly fault her for going the route of intervention at this point. I sure won't be telling anyone at work - I can only imagine the discussions that would take place!
Michelina
Oh and I go to the gyne on Wednesday and will ask about the placement of the suppository at that time. I am also hoping my extended health benefits will cover these meds.
Cristine
Michelina, I hope your appointment goes well on Wednesday and I am very hopeful about the progesterone but I of course understand any worries you may be having!

I'm not feeling very positive today but I second you guys on stress, I really don't feel stressed. Most months I just end up depressed or down, but this month I am thoroughly irritated. If my temp doesn't shoot up tomorrow I'll be convinced that irritation & resentment act like stress does in delaying ovulation. Today is CD 16 which should be the day I ovulate and my husband expressed to me how much he loves me and all that but he just did not want to have sex yesterday. I decided to not even push the issue or bring it up today, which apparently we're still in that window. He was more than eager the first 4 months because I'm sure he thought the same thing we all have "we're having sex, why isn't she getting pregnant?!". I've already explained everything I can to him, so if I don't get pregnant this month then I'll stop TTC and just have unprotected sex til it happens.
zelda
Cristine, I hear you on having trouble (sometimes) getting the Mister to comply with the sex schedule. Mr. Z was very fired up those first few months, but around month 5 or 6 it definitely took more planning and coaxing. He has really been great and only "turned me down" a few times... ;-) The one thing that I have found that helps is having sex with him outside of that fertile window...and pursuing *him* during those times (not just waiting for him). If he sees you wanting to have sex with him outside of that time, he may be more inclined to participate when procreation is involved.

I have to say that non baby sex is definitely better than baby sex most of the time. Mr. Z and I got busy last night on CD 24 and it was great...sorry, TMI, whatever. But truly, it was just much nicer...not that all baby making sex is bad, just...different.

Michelina, you and I both have doctors' appointments on Wednesday...looking forward to hearing your update. Will be thinking of you.

Oh! Forgot I have to share this. I told my mom I that I was going to have the transvaginal scan when they stick the ultrasound scanner inside your vagina. My mom goes, "Oh, that shouldn't be too difficult. You've had a lot of stuff up your vagina." THANK YOU, MOTHER! wink.gif
Michelina
Oh Zelda, I love it - had a great laugh about your mom's comment! I am getting a transvag scan on Wednesday too. We can think of each other. :-) Looking forward to your update too.
zelda
Lady, I know we have joked about cycling at the same time, but the fact that we are both having a transvag scan on the same day is TOO much! Hilarious. Look forward to your update.

xozelda
Cristine
Thanks Zelda, Mr. C came through today (with no coaxing whatsoever) so I'm hoping that will do it! Now, the wait...
julie124
Holy tons of updates, Batman! Glad to hear from everyone.

First, welcome and congratulations, italianwife! Glad to have you here. I remember when I was but a just-pregnant addition to the Board (after lots and lots of lurking in years past), and now I'm 30 (and a HALF!) weeks along. It's kind of weird to think that in about 10 weeks I'm going to be a mom. Oh my.

zelda and Michelina, you have some sort of weird parallel universe thing going on, what with your simultaneous transvaginal scans and such. zelda, your mother's comment made me laugh out loud. Have y'all had one of these before? Do you have to do the drink-a-ton-of-water-so-your-bladder's-full thing? Because let me tell you, I had that kind about a year and a half ago, and I have never had to pee so bad in my life. Happily when they do it in pregnancy they don't make you drink all that water.

yumyum, so glad to hear from you, and so happy that you got to see your little bean on screen! It really is amazing to watch that little heart pulsing...I remember being so surprised at how it looked more human-like than I'd expected it to. Yes, we definitely hope you'll have a chance to post here more...but I understand you'll need a little recovery time. Get well soon!

eyelet, happy belated birthday! I hope you had a fab shopping extravaganza. And congratulations on making so much progress with the breastfeeding - you have really hung in there with it and you should be really proud. You have done so much for that little girl.

ananke, glad to hear the surgery went well and that you're able to be back home. Hope the recovery goes well too!

TTC ladies, I am sorry to hear that the "just relax" attempt at helpful advice train is still going strong. I agree, it is totally useless advice. I think zelda's right - it goes in the category of "I don't know what to say so here's something," kind of like when someone dies and people say stuff like "he's in a better place." I think people really struggle because (as is human nature) they don't know how to deal with something they can't fix in some way. It's a good reminder for all of us that sometimes the best thing we can do for those we love is listen to them and be there for them. And shut the hell up.

eyelet, yes, I was the one in the market for support hose. Actually I broke down and bought some today (though I haven't put them on yet). I walked to the drugstore and bought what is probably the most random collection of things I have purchased lately: two pairs of compression socks (Cristine, these are basically like super-duper support hose, but they're knee-high instead of full pantyhose - they recommend them for people who are prone to varicose veins, swelling, or circulation problems) and two pairs of compression pantyhose, plus a new thing of body butter and a container of lube. It's a hot time in Preggo Town tonight! I honestly can't remember the last time I purchased lube, but I happened to remember it while looking for stuff in the sex/babies aisle (seriously: it's the aisle with baby products on one side and lube, condoms, pregnancy tests and UTI tests on the other). mr. julie and I aren't really getting it on with any regularity (that's more his doing than mine...my libido has only gotten higher lately) but it always pays to be prepared.

Another thing I discovered today is that I am SOOOO out of shape. In an effort to get some exercise, I decided to walk to the drugstore, then treat myself with coffee and pastries while resting and reading the paper, then walk back. On the way to the drugstore my legs were getting really tired, as if I'd been jogging all that time. And I was walking so slow, even I could tell it was like a snail's pace. I was very careful to drink some water and have a snack before I left the house, and to take it easy on the way, but I really was surprised at how tired I was even after resting midway at the Starbucks and taking the same snail's pace on the way home. Part of it is that I'm out of practice (skipping my daily walk and doing more sedentary work lately) and part of it is little guy. I read an article once that said that being pregnant was like running a marathon in how much it taxes your cardiovascular system, and now I guess I believe it!

I've had one week at the new job + continuing my consulting. I'm still figuring out how to make it work (I still have a couple hours to make up tonight for this week) but I'm trying to remember that it's going to take a few weeks to figure out how to juggle everything. Reminding myself that job 1 is taking care of myself and the little dude has made it easier for me to carve out nap time, relaxation time, etc.
ellenevenstar
Hi Italianwife! I am Australian & 31. I was pregnant in Jan, miscarried in March, got pregnant again in July and am now 14 and a half weeks along with little chickadee no. 2. Congratulations to you! I hope you find great support and advice here as I have.

Yumyum, I knew you were just a couple of weeks behind me but somehow I was still surprised that you were already 12 weeks! How exciting. I felt so much better / different getting past there into the 'safe'-r phase. How awesome is seeing baby on ultrasound? I found it amazing that something that size could be moving that much and I couldn't feel it... and I still can't!

Ananke, hope you're healing quicly now and pain is lessening so cuddles are more cuddly.

Eyelet - hope you had a great birthday! You're right - thousands would have given up on the breastfeeding by now and I'm so proud that you have persisted. Inspiring.

Cristine, the waiting game! Hope it goes quickly and that the outcome is the best!

Zelda, it's so rough to hear those comments even when you do believe them (I kind of did when I was ttc but now I don't!) so when you think they're a load of crap it must be even harder. Everyone thought that me getting my cat enabled me to get pregnant but I was already just pregnant when I went to the animal shelter to choose her. These comments place the blame on women and are totally unfair but, as others have said, are people's incompetent way of trying to show they care, I guess. Having gone through what I have this year has definitely made me very sensitive and aware when people (expecially at work) are talking pregnancy to me 95% of the time.

I'll be thinking of you and Michelina on Wednesday. Loved your mum's comment! I've had a few of those scans myself.

julie 124 I haven't had that experience with mild exercise yet (being considerably less pregnant than you!) but I was exercising at the gym quite a lot before I got pregnant and I stopped going around week 7 out of fear of miscarriage (even though in theory they all say continuing with what your body is used to should be fine) and now I'm thinking I should go back to some gentle classes to try and stay a little bit healthy and well toned. But I am scared of being able to judge what is cool with my body and what's not. I had intended to do a bit of walking when I stopped going to the gym but I just didn't. I don't want to start up and my body not be used to it and freak it out - especially after the week I've just had:

Again, it's been a while since my last post here. I've had a CRAZY couple of weeks at work finishing up Term 3 (I'm now on 2 weeks' holiday) which was quite stressful and tiring. We had sex on Thursday morning and then at my morning tea toilet break, I discovered a reasonable amount of blood which scared the SHIT out of me and was a shock because everything felt calm and normal down there... then it seemed to stop for the rest of the day. I read all my books when I got home and they seemed to suggest that, because the cervix is engorged, sex can irritate it more than usual and that this was most likely just a 'bit' of blood from that. Because it had stopped, I felt a bit better. Then again on Friday, a bit of light staining in the morning, but no more after about 10:00am. I was very worried on Friday afternoon, had a big lie down & thought I should go to the doctor but it was closing time. I was worried about placenta abruptio as I have had a little bit of placenta detach already. Then I had to go out and really didn't feel like being there but at least it took my mind off it.

THANK GOD there has been no more blood since then. After feeling great last week, this week has been very scary and I feel like I have regressed to the first trimester feeling that it's more likely than not that this pregnancy will not last to term. This is very pessimistic and I hate putting that energy in to the universe so I'm trying really hard to balance it and trust the process that I'm in but it's difficult. I've been feeling my cervix as quite engorged and twingey for a couple of weeks really and had a few cramps last night. I know in my HEAD that this is all normal as things continue to gear up but it's really scary. I don't know how I'm going to be OK with having sex again which is a bit sad.

On the exciting front, my belly is now starting to look pregnant and I can't do up my jeans comfortably. Shopping trip ahoy!
eyelet
Ellen--glad to hear you're at over 14 weeks. I know it's scary to have twinges now, but the majority of them really are routine.

So Julie you've reached the weird-as-hell third trimester. The hurry up and wait stage. I recommend sleep any time you can spare it, exercise any time you can handle it, and stay hydrated and nourished. It is a body marathon and no one would go into that without a little training. It's fun and exciting though, all the same.

I bought some high platform shoes, a Spanx that goes mid thigh to boob, another black nursing shirt, and some smoky eyeliner. I have very red hair and am covered in freckles, so smoky eyeliner is quite a statement for me.

The platforms were killing me an hour into the evening, damn it! I have 20 unfamiliar extra lbs. on my frame and my feet are quite small. They were not ready for it. Maybe I leapt too soon into trying to dress like myself again. I felt a little deflated because I fixed up as nicely as I could and had my stomach held in, and it used to be I'd get at least few looks when I would walk into a bar/restaurant, but not this time. Maybe it had to do with the fact that my sister bailed on the babysitting and we took Elowen with us on our night out. I was carrying a carseat and diaper bag as Mr. was parking the car. That probably didn't help my feet much either. smile.gif

My dearest baby slept while I ate, then awoke just in time to be passed around to our various friends who were there. She smiled the whole time. She's got her father's gregariousness...I'm much more the type to corner one person at a party and not talk to anyone else. Elowen likes new faces and lots of activity.

I have a particularly harrowing work week ahead...a lot of things went pear-shaped last week and now I have to clean up the mess. It's been a long time since I had the Sunday night dreads, but I have them tonight. Off to bed and hoping she has a good long sleep before the first feeding.



eyelet
PS--your mom's comment cracked me up too Zelda. Nothing like a little humor to make this process more palatable.

Just peeked in at my kid--she's too tall for the co-sleeper now so she's on our bed. She sleeps on her back with legs and arms completely out so she's shaped like an X. And she has one curly tuft on the top of the head. She makes me giggle even in her sleep.
smile.gif
zelda
Hi everyone...eyelet, loved that image of your wee one asleep. Too cute! Love your description of your outfit...I have tried to achieve smoky eyeliner with NO luck.

Ellen, so very good to hear from you. I can only imagine how terrifying that blood incident must have been. I can't remember where it was, but there is some awesome site (maybe I even linked to it here once) about a woman who takes pictures of her cervix at different points in her cycle and puts them online as a sort of public health/performance art thing. I remember her having a picture of her cervix the day after sex, and it was bruised and bleeding. Scary but interesting to see...I am sure that is what happened to you although I am sure it was SO scary.

I am sure it's only normal to be scared, but now that you are in the second trimester, I think you are going to start feeling more positive and secure in this pregnancy. I am sending you nothing but positive baby vibes!

Christine, glad Mr. C "came" through...pardon the pun.

Julie, so glad to hear from you! Your tired sounding legs make me think of my tired legs from this boot camp I've been doing. Is it wrong to want to get pregnant so I can quit going? ;-) It's so much work but I do love how I am feeling, actually. Glad to hear you are in this new job, but I think you have the right outlook about not feeling like you need to do it all.

As for me, I am on CD 26 and not very hopeful. I've got a terrible acne breakout, gas, and no symptoms other than that. But I wasn't very hopeful for this cycle because we only did it once on CD 14 when my OPK was just barely looking positive (because I went out of town).

I have my transvag scan on Wednesday, CD 28, the day my period normally arrives. Despite the sense that I am not pregnant (there have been other months - like last month - when I was SO hopeful), I think I want to test tomorrow on CD 27 just to get the anxiety out of the way. I'm feeling so anxious about the scan, and plus, I want to be able to go into the doctor's office not "wondering" but sure of my situation. It hurts so much to look at a negative test (although I still have one of the old fashioned line ones from last month, so at least I won't have to look at the digital readout NOT PREGNANT).

I don't know...should I go ahead and test tomorrow? I guess I should, if only to get in the right head space for the doctor's visit on Wednesday. It kills me to kill the tiny, remaining bit of hope, but...
Fookie
Welcome ItalianWife and congrats!

I'm 33 from Canada and TTC for 32 months now. I'm starting round five (technically round 4 b/c they screwed it up last month) of fertility treatments (injectables and insemination) early in October. As you see we have quite the range of folks on this thread. Glad to have you.

I can't believe how much news happens every time I read for a few days. I'm on my way out the door, but Zelda, I wanted to answer a question you asked a couple of days ago (but like 40 posts ago!!) about what they might be checking for during your transvaginal tomorrow, this late/early in your cycle. My guess, for this early workup, is probably things like fibroids, scarring etc. They may be able to see ovarian reserve, but I'm not completely sure how it is they see that.

Are you also doing the external scan at the same time? That's the one they usually make you drink for. Make sure you actually drink the whole amount of water. I've been scolded before... The transvaginal ultrasound does not hurt, though I find that if you haven't emptied your bowels lately there can be some pressure-type pain. The farther along in my "stimulated" cycle I am, the more it hurts (and I don't mean pain pain, but just hurts a bit and feels weird) because of the number and size of follicles.

My first scan did show a tiny fibroid at the back of my uterus. A huge percentage of women have them, and unless they are large there is no concern in terms of your ability to get pregnant. I think that where they are in the uterus can have an impact on fertility, but since mine wasn't a concern, I don't have much info on that.

I can't believe that you and Michelina are having your scans the same day. Ha. Good luck to both of you!

About the stress comments ... I agree that they are the most annoying thing ever. They go along with the "oh, just get drunk and you'll get pregnant" types of comments. I once had a sister-in-law tell me to bring home a baby from our Caribbean vacation ... her thought was that being so relaxed and drunk the whole trip would be ideal conception conditions. Gah. The thing with the stress comments though ... they do hit me close to home b/c stress can affect the timing of ovulation ... so I guess in the end it really can screw with our attempts, and since in my case when I ovulate outside my normal window I can always relate it back to being up all night obsessing over something or living stressful work situations ... it hurts a bit more. Although infertility is nobody's "fault" I think it's human nature to want to find something to blame it on. With my diagnosis of "unexplained infertility" there's nothing tangible (like blocked tubes or low sperm counts) to "blame" it on ... so less tangible stuff like stress tends to worm its way into my sub-conscious.

In happier news ... In Canada last week a couple with twins successfully challenged the federal government to allot twice the parental leave. Pundits predict this means that now that there's a precedent other appeals to benefits will be successful. Since my chance at twins is increasing substantially with the med increase for next month ... I'm quite happy. My sister, who just had identical twins, is also hopefully going to benefit.

Thinking of you all.
zelda
Fookie, so good to hear from you and thank you for all your answers.

I hope it is not too long until your next read through because I have to tell you something...I have to tell you all something.

Uh, I think I'm pregnant. I mean, I took two tests this morning.

And they were positive.

I'm like, not fucking kidding.

As you may have read from that last post, I was debating about whether or not I should test before my scan on Wednesday since that's the day my period was due. We only did it once this cycle as you well know. I have a horrible acne breakout out on my face - horrible - and I've been very hungry and peeing a lot, but that's it. No sore boobs, no cramping, no fatigue, no anything else.

So I took a test this morning, went to go feed the cats, so sure it would be negative. When I got back, I reach to toss it...and see a second line. Not faint either, but a line that was clearly visible. I was so stunned I almost fell down.

I had thrown away the packaging (so sure I would be not pregnant) that I had to go get it from the garbage to be extra sure that two lines was positive.

I almost fainted. Literally.

I went and woke up Mr. Z who was stunned, happy, but wanting to be sure that it was right. (He had not spent hours reading about the rarity of false positives like I had.) I had one more test in the house - the digital one - and it came back PREGNANT.

I am flipping out. I cannot believe it. Of all the months, of ALL the months, this is the one when I least expected it. Completely.

I am trying to remain calm, knowing the risk of mc. But I am trying to remain positive in that I know it can happen.

Should I still go to the doctor?

I want to right now say thank you THANK YOU to everyone on this thread. For your support during some tough times. It means so much.

I am still in shock.
funnybird
OH. MY. GOD. Zelda!!! I nearly shrieked out loud when I read that! That's so a-bloody-mazing! Woo hoo!

Okay, enough exclamation marks. I would certainly go to the doctor anyway. They can do a blood test for you so you can absolutely 100% sure, and you may even get to see a little tiny pregnancy sac if you have the scan.

Seriously, I'm so overwhelmed with joy for you that I feel a little emotional. Must go for my lunch time walk to calm down.
Michelina
OMG OMG OMG Congratulations! Holy crap Zelda, this is freaking me out. This is exactly like the dream I had about you just a week or so ago and it is TRUE! You are pregnant. You have NO IDEA how happy and excited I am for you.
Michelina
I just read Funnybird's post. I feel really emotional too. Like my heart is actually racing for you. Yes, I agree - go to the doctor anyway!
zelda
Thank you, ladies, thank you. Trust me when I tell you my heart is racing, too. RACING. I am in shock. I cannot think. To tell you this was the month that I least expected it is totally true.

I want to believe it, but I am also scared to believe it. I stared at those positive tests 20 times before leaving the house.

I can't breathe!

I'm in my classroom with my students...they are working at something at their desks. How can I concentrate?!

I'll be home by 3:45 and will call the doctor and see about still going in or what.

Michelina, I cannot even believe your dream came true.

(((((BUSTIES WHO ARE SO AWESOME)))))))
Cristine
ZELDA!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT IS AMAZING NEWS!!!!! Wow, I cannot put into words how happy I am for you!!

Ö Iíll post more later but I just HAD to comment on that!!! biggrin.gif

Iím on CD 18, no noticeable thermal shift, I hope Iím not looking at an anovulatory cycle. My CM looks like post-ovulation CM though, does anyone who has charted have any insight??
Cristine
I still canít get over it, ZELDA!!!!

Wow, ok, umÖ

Julie, donít know if Iím prone to varicose veins but those socks sound great as a precaution. Thatís great that youíre still getting in some moderate exercise even if itís ďat a snailís paceĒ! Glad to hear that youíre having an easier time with napping!

Ellen, the bleeding would freak anyone out! Iím getting to the point where I donít even want to think about sex during the pregnancy. Before TTC I didnít know how much my cervix is in the way! I remember 1 month during my 2WW and I started bleeding after sex, I didnít get too excited cuz at the time I didnít know what it could possibly mean. Anyway, I like Zeldaís description of that woman whose cervix was bruised and bleeding after sexÖ I mean, I donít *like* it, but itís a comforting explanation. And yes she did post the link but I have weak stomach and didnít get up to the point of that picture. Iím sure youíre fine!! And I love pregnant bellies, have fun shopping!

Eyelet, I am certain holding a baby isnít the most attractive thing a guy looks for in a bar so I wouldnít take that too much to heartÖ it sounds like you looked like a sexy mama!! Iím so glad things went well with your baby at dinner, what a blessing! (I love Spanx by the way, my wedding pictures wouldnít have been the same without it!) Oh and adorable description of how she sleeps!!

Fookie, you are just a wealth of knowledge! In regard to the topic of stress, I donít feel stressed this month but I was very irritated with Mr. C around ovulation and I think that might be delaying ovulationÖ I think Iíll buy another OPK today and hope Iím not having an anovulatory cycle.

Again, Zelda, YAAAAAYYYYYYY!!

funnybird
When I arrived home this evening and Architect Boy asked me how my day had been, I nearly answered without thinking "Great news! Zelda's pregnant!". Then I remembered that he wouldn't have a clue who I was talking about and would think I'd lost my marbles. I've been smiling to myself all day though.

I'll have my fingers crossed for Michelina at the doctor's tomorrow. I agree with Fookie that the vaginal ultrasound is no big deal (having had an ultrasound wand up my wazoo more times than I care to remember over the last 5 months) - a little undignified but interesting to find out what going on in there. The sonographer can actually see follicles and corpus luteums in your ovaries, which is pretty cool.

We're due to go back to the Oncologist tomorrow. I made AB call the hospital to make sure they actually have the histology results but he couldn't get anyone to give him an answer. If we arrive tomorrow afternoon and they're still not in I may have a tantrum. We feel like we're in a state of limbo at the moment and it's really bugging me.

Cristine, your body may just be reacting slowly to the rise in progesterone, or maybe you haven't ovulated yet but will in the next few days (or maybe your thermometer is just broken). My temperature doesn't usually rise until around day 20. I realised today that because I have such long cycles - around 36 days - I only get 10 cycles a year when someone with a "normal" 28 day cycles would get 13. Now I feel cheated! Hmph!

Oh, and welcome and congratulations to Italian Wife. For the record, I'm British, 31 and have been TTC - on and off and with varying results - for 10 months. Michelina, can you try and dream of me getting knocked up too please? I promise I'll do the same for you...
eyelet
Yippee!!! Big hug Zelda!!! I felt like I was hearing this news from someone I've known all my life! I'm so excited for you. I know there all the inevitable worries now and those will stick around for a while, but try to set those aside enough to be able to celebrate a little. So is the Mr. just going to get baked!? (That's a joke, not intended to mean about his having had to give up pot).

I felt confident that you would get there before long, as I do that everyone on this board will. I think many delays in conception are just luck or unluck of the moment, not a physical condition preventing it. I am truly thrilled for you!

Regarding the other night, my wish to turn heads (any heads--male or female) was just because I made an effort. I was over it pretty quick. I think I just have to accept that I will have an aura about me during this first year that reflects my complete immersion in baby life. It's nature's programming, and there will be time for high heels later. My baby's look of complete adoration is pretty freaking fulfilling.

Just had a minute to stop in and say you've made my day!

smile.gif


Cristine
Funny, I never even thought about the thermometer being the issue. Mr. C broke the one I loved while we were on vacation so I bought a new one that I just hate, it's memory is not too reliable (and I don't look at it when I take my temp in the dark, I check the memory in the morning)... well it only shows you for 1 second what your temp was and has no 2nd recall, it showed me today the same exact temp as yesterday so I'm wondering if it's trippin out again. Anyway, do you check cervical fluid?

And Michelina, I second funnybird... can you dream of me getting knocked up too, pretty please??!!
zelda
We need to call Michelina Kreskin or something.

I, too, feel like I know all of you and have teared up and cheered with all of you. It warms my heart SO much to know all of you are cheering and happy for me right now. I know I will be doing just that for all of the TTC ladies very, very soon.

It is so cliche that it happened when we were least expecting it, but I suppose it's what happened here...(Best line of the day...when Mr. Z saw the second positive test and said, `You mean this happened from that one time?') Yes, it does just take once. Just last night we were talking about how this month had surely been a bust due to our lack of intercourse.

I feel basically pretty normal. I have many zits - a pretty bad breakout indeed. And I have horrible, foul smelling gas. I seem to be peeing a little more than normal and am hungry, but that's it. Honestly, if I hadn't taken those tests today, I wouldn't have a clue anything was going on.

I am waiting on the doctor to call me back about going in or not. It is SO early (I'm technically not even late for my period until Thursday!), I don't know if they could see anything with that scan. I don't even know if the blastocyst is fully implanted or what is up.

The line on the test was definitive. Not as dark as the control, but very clear and obvious.

Right now, I'm scared about miscarriage, of course, but I'm also feeling eternally grateful for the knowledge that it can happen. I think if I'd gotten pregnant right away, I wouldn't be so grateful for that knowledge and would just be more worried about miscarriage.

Head is just swimming right now! More later when I can respond properly to other people's thoughts...
Fookie
biggrin.gif biggrin.gif biggrin.gif biggrin.gif biggrin.gif biggrin.gif ((((((zelda))))))))))) Whooooooooooooo FUCKING HOOOOOOOOOOO. I'm so excited for you. I laughed out loud with glee at work (it's ok they already think I'm crazy) when I read your post. How amazing is this? You must be in total and utter shock. Ha ha ha ha. Congratulations. I'm so happy. I too am feeling rather emotional in my happiness for you.

Michelina ... can I add myself to the group asking to dream of them? Please? I too promise to dream of you in return.

This is such amazing news.

Zelda, I'm not sure they could see much at this point. I know at my fertility clinic, they have you do a blood test at the end of each cycle. If you're pregnant, my understanding is that they don't do a scan until six weeks, when they can see the sac. And they do blood tests before that, fairly frequently to make sure beta's (??) are increasingly as per the norm (basically that you're not about to miscarry). BUT... correct me if I'm wrong, Busties who conceived naturally ... I don't think they really look at anything until 10-12 weeks unless you've had any pregnancy related issues in the past, or abnormal bleeding etc.

Oh ZELDA ZELDA ZELDA. How exciting! If the place you were going to tomorrow does blood, I'd say to definitely go for it. I'm curious what your doc will say. Wooooooooooooooooo! Good job Zelda! And Mr. Z too!
eyelet
Zelda if you're getting a strong line it means there's plenty of HCG in there, which as far as I understand means you've implanted well. And yes, Fookie--they didn't give me a scan until 10 weeks, which they would have done 2 weeks later if I hadn't been having chorionic villus sampling due to my age. Even at just 10 weeks you see a distinct baby in there. It's amazing what a runaway train it all is.

So I'm sure you've calculated what the due date would be already...what is it? I ask because I figured out it was this day exactly last year that I found I was pregnant. Wildest day of my life. smile.gif
Cristine
Zelda, I can't remember... did you have any bleeding around the time when implantation would have occurred?
zelda
I'm just reading and loving all these notes...

Fookie, I loved all your smiley faces...made me tear up, actually!

Eyelet, looks like my due date would be around 6/3 or 6/4...I am crossing my fingers this comes true! I do think Mr. Z might smoke a J tonight...wish I could have a drink! But I actually don't really crave one right now.

Funnybird, I am crossing my fingers that AB's test results are in an all is okay...let us know. Love that you told AB about me! I talk to Mr. Zelda about all of you, too...he thinks it is cute, and frankly, I think he is glad I have this support network.

Christine, no, I haven't had any spotting. Not sure when implantation would have taken place. If I ovulated on day 14 or 15 I am 12 or 13 dpo and it may have just happened! No cramping, no bleeding.

My doctor called and was laughing at me and the circumstances of this positive. She told me that I am far too early on for any scan to show anything, so she went ahead and canceled the appointment. I didn't ask her what the blood results showed from the blood I had drawn last week, but I guess they are normal if she didn't mention anything.

She told me to "chill out" and wait two weeks, then call my provider. She is only a GYN, not an OB, so I do believe I am going to go to the same doc as my BFF...will call in two weeks.

My zits are multiplying. I got two new ones today. And I'm peeing a LOT. I've had some little twinges in my uterus which I guess are normal. I'm tired, but not that killer fatigue everyone talks about...although crawling into bed around 8:30 doesn't sound so bad.

My doctor asked me if I was having any breast tenderness and I said no, and she said, "Hmm...okay." Of course my neurotic brain is worried I am not having enough symptoms! But I don't EVER get tender breasts...not even before my period.

I started Googling "rate of miscarriage" and forced myself to stop. I want to enjoy this one day!!!!
ellenevenstar
Oh my God ! YAY ZELDA! I have goosebumps! What fantastic news!! I am SO, SO, SO happy for you, I can't explain! Mr Z must feel so great about himself too - what a rollercoaster month!


I, too, had disgusting gas that lasted for weeks but has thankfully backed off now.
The acne is still around though. Lots of books tell you how wonderful your skin will look during pregnancy. Not me. I did struggle with adult acne for years when I was on the pill, then I stopped the pill about 4 years ago and saw a dermatologist and, apart from a spot or two around period time, it had been wonderful... but now, I'm back there with my high school students. Thinking about zits and wrinkles at the same time is so unfair... but worth it for little bubbas!

I didn't go to the doc for a week or two after each positive test. All that happened the first time was a basic check (blood pressure, exterior pelvic exam etc) and requests for a blood test for hcg and blood type (which I hadn't known before). The second time, he just did a basic physical and said 'great, go for a scan at 11 weeks and see me after that.' Easy!

This Sunday would have been my first little bubba's due date. I sure haven't fogotten first little bubba and still feel sad but I'm not as preoccupied and upset about this impending date as I thought I might be. Hubby couldn't believe it when I told him the other night. I gues he didn't realise how fast those 9 months had gone! I'm enjoying chickadee (which seems to have become bubba #2's name) very much and I'm so grateful for all that I've been through in the last 12 months [got married, got pregnant, miscarried, bought a house, got pregnant again, got the best pet cat ever]!

biggrin.gif Best energy to everyone here.
zelda
Ellen...we posted at the same time...thank you! Glad I am not the only one with acne...of course I work with teenagers too (middle school teacher), so I will fit right in. ;-)
ellenevenstar
Oh, zelda, I read the best quote the other day in Birthing from Within: "Worry is the work of pregnancy" - it goes on to talk about how being overconfident can effect complacency and that exploring fears and worries in a constructive way can effectively help women to gain useful knowledge and devise coping responses.

I'm currently also reading Spiritual Midwifery by Ina May Gaskin and highly recommend it.
eyelet
Zelda--don't worry about no boob pain. You might recall I had no symptoms to speak of except a twinge-y feeling at times. And stay away from that free range googling!
Michelina
Zelda, I am sure you are having a fantastic evening! Oh what joy! I had a very strong feeling about you this cycle, but didn't want to go on about it too much. It's funny too because I had the dream while in Arizona. Maybe being in closer proximity made me really feel your vibe. OK, that sounded too wierd, but seriously, I felt really in tune with you.

I will let the rest of the TTC'ers know if there are any other dreams. :-)
julie124
Okay, I'm a bit late to the party, but OMIGOD ZELDA! Woo hoo! I have been reading all the posts since your exciting announcement and am practically dancing in my chair. I am SO excited and happy for you.

I loved ellen's quotation about worry in pregnancy...believe me, no matter how far along you are, you'll worry, so it's good to know that we're actually doing something constructive in the worrying. Remember that "hope doesn't make bad things happen" still holds (maybe more so after you get that magic second line on the stick).

I am just beaming over here, seriously. Happy happy happy.

I think I had acne breakouts really early in my pregnancy but they have (mostly) resolved now. I wish I could say the same for the gas. There are only so many times I can blame the cat. Don't worry about the lack of boob tenderness - it took me many weeks to get that. In fact, you might remember how much I worried before that first scan because I didn't really *feel* pregnant. Good ol' What to Expect refers to this as "a sense of unreality about the pregnancy," which, yeah. You have to kind of go on faith for awhile. (And it didn't hurt to have a handy dandy picture of my positive pregnancy test to look at every so often.)

And eyelet is right. Step away from the Google. That way madness lies. (I have been known not to take my own advice on that point. Do as I say, not as I do, and you'll be much happier.)

Speaking of "hope doesn't make bad things happen," I just learned today that my brother and sister-in-law are expecting again! Last pregnancy, with my nephew, was really hard on my sis-in-law - after losing their daughter to stillbirth (and having a miscarriage before that), she was terrified the entire time with him. But everything turned out just fine and now he is a mischievous one-year-old, getting into everything. His big sister just turned 5 and started kindergarten a few weeks ago. They are very happy (although as always, the worry is there) and I'm really happy for them. She's due next May.

Okay, so Michelina is going to dream about all you ladies...who's going to dream for Michelina? I say we all work on that one.

Things are pretty much the same here. I'm tired and there aren't enough hours in the day. I kind of feel like I did in college...like I'm constantly procrastinating from some studying I'm supposed to be doing. That final exam is coming up in a few weeks! The whole going into the office thing kind of underscores me as the main breadwinner for my family at the moment, which is kind of a scary prospect that I try not to think about too much. mr. julie did have a job interview today, though, which I think went well. We'll see what happens.

Little dude seems fine, bopping around in there regularly. The battery in my bathroom scale went dead and I have been too lazy to replace it. I think I may elect to be too lazy to replace it for the rest of the pregnancy. What the hell, I'm going to the doc every two weeks and getting weighed and measured there, so screw it. I like soda and ice cream and I have an ass that rivals the size of my baby bump and I DON'T CARE ANYMORE. Although, to be perfectly vain, I am glad to be getting my hair cut and re-colored this weekend. It's going all Droopy Dog on me these days and it drives me crazy.

Anyway, I need to run for now...love and good health to all the mamas, bebehs, mamas-to-be, little beans, and fab TTC ladies!
zelda
Michelina, I don't think it's weird at all that you "felt my vibe" as you put it. I think it's actually so kind! We share so much of ourselves here, it only makes sense. (((Michelina)))

Julie and Eyelet, thank you for addressing the boob pain. Makes me feel better. And I have stepped away from Google for sure.

I had a fitful night of sleep, mostly because I woke up to pee FOUR TIMES. If this keep up I'm going to have to start wearing Depends. And each time I would be a little nervous - almost like I expect my period to begin. I did have some mild cramping during the night, but it was different than period cramps. Almost like a pulling sensation. And it would take me time to go back to sleep. Now I'm up getting ready for work and feel so tired. Ugh. I'm just going to be kind to myself as much as I can. My coworker who recently delivered told me the year she was pregnant she was just not the best teacher she knows she could have been, and she gave herself permission to be that for that one year. I think it's good advice. I'm a perfectionist and I love my job, but I also need to take care of myself.

I put witch hazel on the zits and that has helped.

I also keep staring at the pregnancy test. The digital one has faded away but those two lines are still there. Still unbelievable to look at.
Michelina
So I got my pap test and scan. The doctor said it looks like a small fibroid is growing and my uterus is a little abnormally shaped. There is also some concern with the layering of it, which I didn't quite understand. I am getting scanned again on Monday now.

I am not sure what to make of this.

Cristine, has your temperature risen yet?

Zelda, how did your second day of work go since knowing about baby?

Julie, thank you for the suggestion that you Busties dream for me. Hugs to you.
Cristine
Michelina, what are they looking for in Monday's scan? I'm not too familiar with fibroids. Would they do small surgery to remove it or something? I hope this isn't that big of a deal. Thinking of you... and hopefully having dreams for you too! wink.gif My temperature went up by .42 degrees (F) but is still fairly low in comparison to normal. I started looking around online, since I don't have TCOYF with me at work, to see other charts... it didn't even cross my mind that I could be having a triphasic cycle this month, so maybe that will explain the gradual shift. I used to think the most devastating news each month was not being pregnant, but not ovulating certainly tops that!
funnybird
Michelina, the fibroid may explain all the spotting. I know that a symptom of polyps and fibroids is bleeding between periods. Did the doctor give you any more details, or will you have to wait until Monday? Thinking of you...

Today was frustrating for us. AB spoke to the Oncologist's secretary this morning, who told him that the histology results still weren't in, and with that in mind it wasn't worth us turning up for his afternoon appointment. After a heart-stopping few hours where it seemed as if the hospital had lost the slides, they called him back to say that they were still in the lab and the report hadn't just been written up yet! Now the appointment has been rescheduled for next week, so, another 7 days of limbo. Sigh...

Cristine, what cycle day are you on now? Have you been checking the position of your cervix? I know it's a bit tricky, but I find that mine does 'drop' quite dramatically after ovulation, so that could be a handy indicator for you if the other signs are ambiguous. I think that anovulatory cycles are pretty rare, so I wouldn't worry about that being the case!
Cristine
Funny, you just made me tear up in relief that anovulatory cycles are rare... I'm kinda freaking out right now since I had a 40 day cycle (month 2 before charting) and I will never know if I didn't ovulate or if implantation was unsuccessful. I'm on CD 19 and, since charting, I usually ovulate on CD 16. My cervical fluid still seems post-ovulatory in consistency but everything I keep reading swears the temperatures are the end all for indicating ovulation! Checking my cervix seems so damn difficult! Do you think it would be worthwhile to try this month since I haven't ever checked it before?

I'm so sorry they don't have AB's results yet, but glad they didn't lose them! I'm still so encouraged by his amazing & speedy recovery so far, try to let that comfort you through this long week ahead!!
Cristine
Funny, I swear I feel like a 15 year old half the time I'm posting on here... so I think I found my cervix! It was pretty low cuz I didn't have to reach far, I couldn't feel any opening whatsoever and I didn't really know what else to look for. I couldn't tell if it was firm, soft or what cuz I don't know what it normally feels like. So I'm guessing if it seems low and feels "closed", then I ovulated right??
Fookie
Funnybird: GAHHHH. Damn those lab people. I'm glad they found the results but the extra week wait stinks!

Michelina: I'm sorry about the fibroid. I think that in most cases fibroids are harmless. Sometimes they can be in the way or big enough to make conception difficult. My understanding is that removing them is fairly easy. I hope you get news soon about yours. What is the next step?

Cristine: I've never looked for my cervix before either! Maybe I should start. I seem to be ovulating at weird times on my months off from the fertility clinic. I don't know if it's the meds that put my cycle out of wack or if something has changed in me. I was insanely regular before all this started. I don't remember ... are you doing OPKs this month? What are they saying?

Well, this being our natural cycle and all I hadn't been paying too much attention to my cycle, but I "should" have ovulated Friday at the earliest, Sunday at the latest. Mr. F. and I have both been insanely busy at work and fighting colds, so the pessimists in us decided to choose sleep over sex on those days since nature is not working for us anyway. So this month was a write-off and we were looking ahead to next month. But low and behold when I went to the bathroom at work today .... scary-lady CM! So we both left work about an hour early and got down to business! We have a "lunch-date" tomorrow and will try to get two more sessions in the next two days. I feel like we've debated this before ... but did we ever come up with an answer? Is the CM indicating my surge, so still 24-36 hours away from ovulating? Or did my crazy CM mean I was ovulating right then? What's the deal?
Cristine
Fookie, I've found a new toy, my cervix!! I swear if people at work knew that I'm digging around in there in the bathroom... anyway, um, I believe I ovulated. I did a little more reading and it said just before ovulation it will feel soft like lips and after ovulation it will feel more firm like the tip of your nose, it definitely felt firm as a nose. Not to mention the fact that it is super low and quite easy to get to. So either one of 2 things is happening, I'm finding that temps don't mean anything for me this month or as the next few days go by I will defiinitely notice a triphasic pattern in my temps. Here's the stupid mistake I made with OPK's this month... last month I only used 5, cycle days 12-16 & only got + on CD 15 & 16. So I had 2 left over and decided that I know my cycle well enough by now so I don't need more than that, I got 2 - on CD 14 & 15 and refused to buy anymore. So here I am with my unreliable temperatures, playing with my new toy (which I was really excited to find by the way) & just waiting. And yaaayyy for scary-lady CM! I'm so glad you got busy and good luck over the next 2 days. I'm really not certain if the EWCM means you're going to ovulate soon or what? I know this cycle I had EWCM (though not quite scary lady) the week leading up to ovulation and it kinda slowed on CD 14 & 15, then there was a lot of it on CD 16 which I'm sure is the day I ovulated despite my temps. Who knows though, this is all so confusing!
zelda
Funny, how frustrating about AB's results! Seven days does feel like a lifetime, I am sure, but at least you know they aren't lost...that would be worse, I am sure. Please continue to keep us updated.

Cristine, I never had luck feeling my cervix, but I'm glad you are having fun with this new toy! I admit I don't think I felt it regularly enough to notice any distinct changes although I could feel it. Crossing my fingers for you for this cycle.

Fookie, love that scary lady EWCM. You know, I still have no idea if the EWCM is a precursor to ovulation or there on the day of ovulation itself. I have read that immediately after ovulation your CM becomes pasty and tacky, so...all I know is that EWCM is fertile! Glad you got busy, lady!

Michelina, I am so sorry about this fibroid, but I think Michelina and Fookie are right - fibroids are harmless and can be removed. I know how horribly frustrating it must be not to have all the results you want right away. I wouldn't worry too much about the shape of your uterus or anything like that. It's not definitive and certainly not a reason why you can't conceive - sounds more like something they would just want to keep an eye on during birth. Is Mr. M going with you to Monday's appt or could you bring a friend? Perhaps writing down questions prior to the exam would help...I know at the doctor's I get so flustered I walk out with a million questions...I am really, really thinking of you. We started this journey pretty much at the same time, and I have real faith that we will both get the happy ending we want.

As for me, today I had a ton of lotiony, creamy CM. By the way, this cycle I had essentially NO cervical mucus from ovulation until I tested positive. None. Today I have so much lotiony CM it is crazy, but I have read that is the cervix protecting itself from bacteria.

Tonight I had dinner with friends and my right nipple began tingling a lot. I have continued to have twinges and pulling sensations down below and I am peeing quite a bit, but no new zits (yet). My gas STINKS. Disgusting! But mostly, I still feel "normal" but I have things going on that are different - and the positive test makes me think they might be related to the pregnancy.

Today I felt distracted at work which was good. There is a heavy sense of unreality surrounding me right now, and I am trying not go get too worked up. My BFF wanted to loan me some baby name books, and I told her I am still not ready for that and need to continue to process this. I thought getting that positive test would take all the worries away - believe me, it has seemed to multiply them! But overall I am doing okay and just trying to observe everything happening to me as opposed to overanalyzing!

Much love to all and more later!
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