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eyelet
Hey Zelda-Just wanted to let you know that Borders has 30% off everything for educators for one more day. I think you have to be in their rewards program, but it's worth signing up and they don't send junk mail. When I was pregnant I wanted to buy a bunch of books they didn't have at the used book store. I thought it might be fun and perhaps relaxing to go buy some books.

Hope you and everyone else are doing well.

Cristine
Michelina & Fookie, I am sending all my best wishes to you guys this month!! Had another negative today, I tried peeing in a cup and testing that way insteadÖ same result. No cramps, no period but my temperature did have a big drop today so I think Iím ready to throw in the towel for the month. Iím going to try pre-seed next month because I read that it has an EWCM affect for sperm, which I didnít know. Does anyone know if itís available at CVS or Walgreenís?
Fookie
Cristine, thanks for the well wishes.
This is my second month of Pre-Seed. If you go on the pre-seed website, you can get a list of local retailers that carry it. None of the big chains here seem to carry it. I had to go to a store called The Birds and the Bees (a friendly sex toy/outfit shop!). Ha ha. Though I later found out my fertility clinic carries it for $2 less. The tube cost me about $30 (Canadian). And it was the last one the shop carried. So look around and try to find it before you actually need it. Note that I found that the recommended amount is a LOT ... see what you think. It comes with applicators and everything. Ha. Such fun smile.gif
Cristine
Fookie, this is such a fun process isnít it?? I read that you can choose how much you want to use and all I kept thinking was, well how much do I need in order to get pregnant?! How do you like it so far? Do you think itís best to take right before intercourse or a little while before? Oh and last question, how many applications would you estimate that you get out of 1 tube? I found it on amazon.com for $16.50 USD, I think thatís probably good. My BFF is lending me her ClearBlue fertility monitor this month (I just need to buy the test strips, again Amazon seems to have the best price), so Iím hoping that between the 2 I might increase our chances this month! wink.gif Itís funny because I didnít want to get pregnant during the months that would result in my being pregnant during the heat of summer, but now I donít care if I give birth on the face of the sun if I could only get pregnant!!! Come on July babyÖ
Fookie
Ha ha ha. Cristine, I had the same thoughts. I think the pamphlet that comes with it says something like "most women find 4 to be the right dose" (there are numbers on the syringy-thing). Honestly, I've halved that. Mr. F. finds it a little difficult to ummmm stay aroused when I use more than that... That Amazon price sounds great. In Canada, Amazon hasn't expanded much beyond books/dvds/cds yet. I once bought some amazing books off the American Amazon and had them delivered to a friend's mom in Syracuse! Then snuck them back over the border. Weeeeeee.
zelda
Hey, everybody! Long time no "talk"...Christine, I'm sorry you keep getting a negative test, but hang in there. At the very least you can enjoy a drink at the concert - I had two cocktails the night before I found out I was PG.

Oh Michelina, how I have examined toilet paper. It doesn't stop after you're pregnant...now I check for spotting in case of a m/c. Although my (new) therapist who I saw for the first time tonight told me I need to stop that right away. (More on her later.) Perhaps it really was all in your imagination? After this week, I've been convinced at how much power the mind has over the body!

Eyelet, thanks for the 411 on the educator's sale. I went and bought.....Mackenzie Phillip's new bio! In hardcover! Because I just wanted something trashy to unwind after my anxiety adventure.

Fookie, I remember using too much Preseed once and Mr. Z was like...WTF? We just used it mostly for external lubrication after that month... :-) Hoping for you.

As for me...I'm doing better. Not 100% okay, but better. First, I met with my new therapist tonight. She was great, and I instantly liked her and felt comfortable with her. We talked about my panic attacks and how they are associated with hormonal changes and also life changes. She has a lot of pragmatic ideas but also was just someone to unload on and feel comfortable with. I really am looking forward to going to her.

My anxiety has tapered off...I was able to sleep well last night without the Ambien and don't plan on taking anymore unless I really need it. I haven't taken the Zoloft although I will talk to my OB about that when I go to see her. My first appt. is October 26th and I'll be just over 8 weeks.

I had a bad situation arise with the midwives...at the practice I'll be going to, it's a mix of midwives and OBs. They all share the same basic philosophy and all deliver at the hospital I want to deliver at...but of course I wanted to go with the midwives. When I ended up in the ER, they called the OB on call from that practice to confirm what meds to give me.

Well yesterday I get this message from the midwives (we were supposed to have our orientation tomorrow)...it was from the midwives' office manager and it was like, "Well, it sounds like you're really way too high risk for us." I called them, and the office manager/nurse's aide was like, 'Did you know the medicine you're on is a Class D?" She was talking about the Clomazapam they gave me in the ER. Keep in mind this dose was incredibly small, for two days only, and okayed BY AN OB!

When I told her I was seeing a therapist and had no plans to take anymore meds, and that this was not a regular thing for me, she said, "Well, we'll take you if you get a letter of clearance from your therapist." WTF?

I understand they can't be liable, but it really hurt my feelings. I went ahead and switched over to one of the OBs in the practice who is taking new patients. I don't know much about her except what I read on her online bio, but I was getting to the point where I needed to get an appointment scheduled because OBs tend to fill up fast! (At least around here.)

So now I'm going to an OB. I think it might be good in case I do end up taking the Zoloft, but I was none too pleased with how I was treated by the midwife office staff.

Oh what a journey this pregnancy has already been...as my therapist said, it is preparing me for the wild ride of motherhood...all in all, I'm doing really pretty well right now...I just patted my belly. Sending positive thoughts to the bean...I want to be the best mom I can be!
Michelina
Zelda, thanks for the update. I think of you often. I am glad to hear that you have a great therapist and are sleeping better now. You are being kind to yourself, and that's the most important thing you can do for your bean. Sorry to hear about the midwives. It sounds like it could have been handled in a more diplomatic way. I think you don't need much to be considered "high risk." I think there's a good chance I'd also be considered "high risk" due to my prog deficiency and I am pretty sure I would actually chose to be followed by an OB even if it wasn't forced on me.

Cristine, how are you doing now? I find it intriguing that you had cramps for several days, which went away, and still had no period as of yesterday. Hmmm. I say keep testing if your period doesn't show. You just never know. You could be in the minority of people who take until a couple days after their period is due to test positive. As far as Pre-Seed, I get it at earlypregnancytests.com along with my ovulation strips. We use it just as we would a regular lube. I've never used the applicators. I may try it, though.

Fookie, I am fortunate to have you as a cycle buddy! How are you doing?

I am glad to hear I am not the only one who examines TP! Thanks for the reassurance that this behaviour is normal TTC behaviour (and sounds like normal pregnancy behaviour too.) I am 11dpo today and no spotting. It's just nice not having to deal with that for days on end. I called the clinic and the nurse told me to get my blood hcg done at 8am on Friday. She thinks there's a chance the result will be available by the end of the day. If not, I'll have to wait until Tuesday - 17dpo. That really sucks for two reasons: taking prog for that many days and because it will push my period back so that I will be out of province the next time I need a blood hcg test. I don't know what the clinic will recommend in that case. Oh well, I'll figure it out.

Cristine, I am so with you on not caring when baby is born. I just want to get pregnant!
Fookie
Zelda, I'm so happy to hear that things are sorting themselves out. Forget about the midwife BIOTCH and just think about doing whatever feels best.

Michelina ... you are on half the dose of progesterone that I am, and I have no known progesterone deficiencies (they give my dose to everyone, so don't worry about yours not being enough). I get my period right on time or at least start spotting right on time, when I'm on it. I think the oral pills tend to do more in terms of preventing a period from arriving (but my memory on that is foggy). You may find that you do get your period sometime after 14dpo, which is when I started spotting the last month I was on progesterone. AT that time I did a quick google search and I think that's when I read that the suppositories shouldn't delay my period passed a normal length luteal phase... but then again maybe there's a difference when you have a short luteal phase or have actual low progesterone... I'm not sure.

Still no spotting for me and I'm not on progesterone this month b/c it's a natural cycle. This has happened many times before, so not getting my hopes up. Figure i'll probably get my period on Friday when I'm at a wedding. Ha ha. Just my luck it's due that day. I've been getting the odd pre-pre-cramp twinge on my right side which I get every month.

Good luck to everyone.
Michelina
Thanks for the info, Fookie. I thought that the progesterone would just continue my luteal phase until I stopped it. It's good to know that's not the case. Seems wierd that the clinic wants me to continue progesterone if I get my period. I understand continuing if I'm only spotting, but using those suppositories with a full period seems kind of ridiculous. I'll clarify that if I don't get my pregnancy result on Friday. Just learning the ropes over here. :-)
Cristine
Fookie, I really hope Amazon expands for CanadaÖ I just love it! I canít believe you canít have them ship directly to Canada, that sucks. It helps me out so much at Christmas time. Can you buy from this site: http://www.babyhopes.com/products/pre-seed-lubricant.html? Itís the same price there! Ok Iím curious about the arousal situation, can you elaborate as to why there can be too much lubricant?

Thanks Zelda. That really sucks about the midwivesí office, how incredibly judgmental they were would hurt anyoneís feelingsÖ Iím sorry you had to go through that but Iím glad you found out now before going through the remainder of your pregnancy with them.

Michelina, I had given up hope on that first day of cramping but when it stopped I stupidly allowed myself to get mildly excited. I started my period at dinner before the concertÖ and boy did I celebrate at the concert! Iím paying for it today though, along with the cramps today is not a pleasant day! My cervix has been low, firm & closed for the first 13 days I started checking it. Yesterday I noticed it was a bit softer and had risen a bit, still closed, but Iím excited that I noticed a change 4 hours before I started my period. And on the examining TP topic, Iíll go a step furtherÖ I try to wear white underwear everyday around the time when I might expect implantation!!! I donít want to miss it! wink.gif

1 crappy thing that happened last night is that a good friend of ours told us his wife is 12 days late!! Ok she's obviously pregnant and he acts like it's a surprise and they weren't trying. But his sister (my BFF) just had a baby and his wife can't keep her hands off of the little guy and makes no secret of how she wants to be a mom now. Plus she definitely seems like a pill person (TMI but I know my friend despises condoms, we're really close friends, so the pill would be the only choice for him) so I know she must have gone off the pill, which to me IS trying!!! And why she hasn't tested yet is beyond me!! Just irritating! I'm very happy for her but it's just hard to hear about everyone else getting pregnant and then not waiting on pins and needles to test??? Plus he is very competitive and my husband told him a few months ago that we're trying, so who knows. He had a whirlwind courtship with his now wife and beat us to engagement, beat us to get married and now is beating us to have a baby. Thanks for listening, I needed to get that out so I can now begin the process of being happy for her.
Fookie
Cristine! I wear white/beige underwear too. Ha ha. I used to wear red underwear when I got close to my period, so if there were leaks the stains wouldn't be as annoying/noticeable. Ha hah ahha. I'm so happy to hear I'm not the only loony lady on here.

As for the arousal situation ... Mr. F. explains to me that a little friction is nice. When it's too moist, it's harder for him to stay aroused. TMI?

Sorry you got your period, but if it was going to happen, I'm glad it happened before the concert and you were able to enjoy yourself, thoroughly (or a a little too thorougly sounds like). I know exactly how you feel about finding out your friend is pregnant. Gah. I'm actually keeping a list of all the people who are likely to get pregnant before me. THe list is getting smaller and smaller. I figure that I'm almost home free. There's only one person left that I can think of who may end up trying soon. Everyone else is either pregnant, done with kids, or has just had a kid. I should be safe for a while, right? But don't worry Cristine, you're perfectly entitled to grump over it for as long as you want to.

Well just wrapping up day 12. Still no spotting, which is good news for my luteal phase, but shitty news for my brain. I need to NOT get my hopes up. Must repeat to self: this has happened exactly this way at least 3/4 of the last almost three years. Yes, I know that hope doesn't make bad things happen .... but honestly, I'm really not mentally ready to go back to the monitored cycling, daily needles, daily ultrasounds, bloating, etc. I'm just not sad.gif

Anyone been watching Glee?
zelda
Thanks for the kind words about the midwife BIOTCH (had to laugh at that Fookie)...I am looking forward to going to my OB and am just going to put that incident behind me. Whatever happened happened for a reason, and perhaps I am going to just love my OB and that's why this went down...so I could be her patient.

Christine, I had the same weird cramping on and off for two days (rare for me) the month before I got pregnant...that was the month my period came 2 days late and I was so sure I was pregnant...and I wasn't. So weird. Then the next month was my lucky month...yours will come, too...I know it!

I truly can't stress enough (now that I know) how few symptoms I'm having at 6 weeks...if only I had known, I wouldn't have wondered all those months about every twinge and weird thing. No implantation bleeding, no creamy CM, no sore boobs (not even still), etc.

As for now...I am hungry as hell (ate four dinner rolls tonight......along with dinner), and am super gassy still. And tonight I just got two new bizarro zits on my upper cheek - I swear I've never had a zit there in my life. And that's all for symptoms. And of course the incapacitating panic attacks...but who's counting, right? ;-)

I'm feeling pretty good today. Went for a brief swim and have some new good books to dig into. I'll be officially six weeks tomorrow. So crazy.

And Christine, do not feel bad for one second about feeling annoyed at those friends who are taking long to test...all feelings are normal and valid while TTC...honestly. I remember when Mr. Z's best friend called to tell us his wife was pregnant and "we weren't really trying" (lie, most likely)...I got SO mad and started saying all these sort of mean things about the wife (who is nice enough...just kind of boring and not really my type). Mr. Z was like, "What is wrong with you?" I couldn't help it...it hurts sometimes. And that's okay to feel that way.

Oh...I think too much lube can make it too loose for a dude and lack of friction = lack of arousal/orgasm.

Michelina, can you call your doc and find out why they want you to stay on the progesterone during your period? It sounds like it has stopped your spotting though...which is great! I am thinking of you and Fookie and Christine and everyone on this thread...
zelda
Fookie, we posted at the same time...everyone tells me I need to watch Glee and I have not! I can only commit to a few shows at a time, but I may have to commit to this one or at least get it when it comes out on DVD. Right now I am in love with Mad Men (as I know Julie is)

I have a secret...I *don't* wear underwear! Years ago when I had recurrent yeast infections, I had a GYN tell me to forgo them...and I did and I do. Although I am having enough creamy CM now (forgot to mention that as one of the few symptoms I'm having) that I think that's going to have to change.
julie124
zelda. good to see that things are going pretty well despite the weird midwife thing. I think you're keeping a good perspective about it, so that's great. You "sound" a little more like your old self in your posts, so I'm glad to hear that the panic attacks seem to be staying away for the time being.

I didn't believe that I would have so few symptoms in the beginning either, even though I remember hearing others who had that experience. One of my (guy) friends asked me over the weekend what part of being pregnant I was most surprised by. I told him that it felt a lot different than I expected it to feel...that I expected things like being tired, feeling sick in the beginning, etc, but that I wasn't expecting the "someone took my legs off and put them back on wrong" feeling I was getting a lot in the second trimester especially, and some of the weird aches and pains and stuff. All in all, it has been a pretty amazing experience so far. Lots of ups and downs, and lots of ups and downs to come, I'm sure.

ha! I love hearing about your hunger symptoms. When I was in my first tri, I remember just being floored by the vehemence of my hunger. It would creep up on me and all the sudden I'd be like, "Must consume mass quantities RIGHT NOW!" That's when I learned to carry around granola bars and stuff with me all the time. Oh, by the way, those Belly Bar things (it's an energy bar type thing "specially formulated for pregnant women") are actually rather tasty, though regular granola bars work just fine too.

Cristine, the underwear comment made me laugh with recognition. I used to freak out thinking I was seeing blood on the tissue, only to realize that the wet tissue was making my (pinkish) finger underneath show through. And any underwear that is pink, beige with a sort of brown tone, or has old stains that didn't quite come out in the wash is occasional cause for freakytown when combined with a wet vaginal discharge. (Which I have all.the.time. now.) I agree, don't beat yourself up for the occasional need to vent...sometimes we have to honor the fact that our feelings are our feelings, even if they aren't pretty. Believe me, if you don't get them out they'll find a way of creeping to the surface.

Michelina and Fookie, I am thinking of you guys! Glad you have each other for support this cycle.

I am sooooo tired. Tomorrow we travel to see the in-laws and some friends, my last trip before I'm grounded for the duration of the pregnancy. I am really looking forward to seeing everyone, but traveling two weeks in a row is not something I would recommend doing in your third trimester when you've just started a new job (even if it IS part time). Luckily I figure I can just play the preggo card a lot this weekend for lots of naps and such. I am psyched to see my college roommate this weekend, hang out with friends, and let my in-laws see me preggers. This is my mother-in-law's first grandchild and I suspect it's been kind of hard for it to seem real since they don't see us very often, and because mr. julie doesn't talk to his mom as often as I talk with mine.

Anyway, other than being tired (and occasionally a bit overwhelmed...I've put a number of things off and they have been catching up with me) I'm doing pretty well. Little guy is quiet during large parts of the day, but when he has a kicking fest he is really going to town. It's more like jabs to the ribs and what I call "alien invasion" where he does a full body move and you can totally see him shift. I am starting to feel huge and not always super pretty - I saw pictures of myself that a friend had posted on Facebook after last weekend and I complained to mr. julie that my face was fat. (I hate it when I look like I have like 14 chins or whatever in pictures.) He was such a sweetie - he kissed me and said, "It's my wife's face, and it's always beautiful." Aww, he's totally hired.

An interesting side note to all our H1N1 discussion recently - most of the hospitals in town (including the one where I'm going to deliver) have now made a rule that no children (besides baby, obvs), even siblings, can come on the Labor and Delivery floor because of the risk of H1N1. A friend of mine is trying to figure out how she's going to explain that to her son, who is super-excited to see his baby brother or sister in the hospital and now can't.
funnybird
Wow, so much going on since I last posted! Zelda, oh my, your experience sounds really scary, but Iím glad that things have improved. Keep looking after yourself. I too was constantly, ravenously hungry during the brief period that I was pregnant. I had to keep a packet of wheatgerm biscuits beside my bed because Iíd wake up at 5am and be too hungry to go back to sleep. Are you back at work?

Cristine, sorry to hear about the period. How annoying about the smugly nonchalant friend! Iím still struggling with my feelings over pregnant SIL, and still feeling guilty, however natural those feelings may be. The silly thing is that my envy is based on the notion that she got pregnant easily, which might not be the case Ė they could have been trying for months for all I know.

The conversation about obsessive toilet paper/ underwear checking made me smile. Me too! Especially at the moment as I seem to be having EWCM very early in my cycle. I canít decide if itís due to the evening primrose oil Iím still taking, the fact that I have a cold right now (my nose is very runny and I wondered if the virus might irritate all my mucous membranes) or if Iím going to ovulate early. I bought some of those digital ovulation tests (the ones with the smiley faces) as they were on offer at the chemist and I was curious. As my previous experience with OPKs was brief, unsatisfactory and a long time ago Iím ignorant as to the when the best time to test is. I remember vaguely a discussion here about using them in the afternoon Ė would testing in the evening when I get home from work (about 7pm) be okay? Or should I test at work? Any advice from OPK veterans would be welcome.

Fookie, when is your period due? I like that you and Michelina are in sync with your cycles now. I have my fingers crossed for both of you!
jenny_dreadful
Zelda, I agree with you on the symptoms thing. I had very few symptoms in my first few weeks (apart from feeling like my period was coming the whole time). When I got to about 8 weeks the tiredness got me. The hunger that Julie describes only really got to me a couple of weeks ago - I was practically crying with hunger as I left work and was beside myself with the need to get food inside myself. I've now noticed that I get hungry as soon as I go to bed. Really hungry!

I've had a terrible cold for the past few days - was off work on Tuesday and Wednesday and feeling really grotty. Would normally be totally dosed up on Nurofen Cold & Flu (I love you pseudoephedrine) so think this cold has hit me extra hard as I am unmedicated beyond paracetamol. I have taken my temperature a million times over the past few days, have been really conscious of cold symptoms being like the swine flu symptoms, but so far no temperature. Still feel rough though!

Julie your husband sounds lovely. Have a great trip, and make sure you get plenty of rest! I am officially 31 weeks pregnant and am feeling wearier and wearier. I've noticed the baby's movements are slowing down but becoming more definitive at certain times of the day, and I feel him turning around and sort of rippling from left to right. When I saw the midwife last week she said that he was head down now, but it feels more like arms on one side of my stomach and legs at the other. I go on maternity leave in 5 weeks and 1 day - can't believe it!

Cristine, I agree with you on the irritation with your friend! Just be pregnant or not already!! Sorry to read you got your period, I'm keeping 'em crossed for the next month.

Fookie, thinking of you. I hate that feeling of having to keep your hope in check.

Cristine
Fookie, that is so not TMI for me! How are we going to find out these things otherwise, right? wink.gif And Iíve heard of Glee, I really want to watch that!

Thanks Zelda, I still donít know why people insist on lying about trying to get pregnant! I tried to calm down my comments to Mr. C later, since it is his best friend, he didnít really respond to my suspicions about them. But then again everytime I see crappy or absent parents on tv I always make a comment like ďoh thatís just wonderful that THEY were able to conceive!!Ē and I think heís sick of hearing thatÖ I should probably refrain from doing that in case it causes him to feel bad about himself in anyway.

Julie, have fun at your in-laws! Iím sure there will be lots of lovely gushing over your bump!

Funny, I test at work around 3pm but if I couldnít for some reason then I would test as soon as I got home from workÖ I believe Zelda advised me that was fine.

Jenny, I canít believe how close you are! Your ďjust be pregnant or not alreadyĒ comment really summed up how I feel right nowÖ and made me laugh, which is always a good thing! I really hope you start to feel better soon, take care of yourself & gets tons of rest!!

Michelina & Fookie, I hope to hear very good news from both of you soon!!!

Fookie
Aw ladies ... I got my period this morning. Not full flow, but there it was, the pink toilet paper floating in the bowl just as my eyes were adjusting to the bright light. I'm bummed, but I'm geared up for the wedding tomorrow and the speech I have to give, so I'm not really dwelling in it, yet. Maybe by the time tomorrow is done I'll already be mentally ready to start looking "forward" to this upcoming cycle of invasion and the extra "possibilities" it will bring to our changes of finally seeing a positive pregnancy test. If i had been pregnant this cycle we would have found out on Thanksgiving weekend (Canadian Thanksgiving is this weekend) and would have been far enough along to tell everyone at Christmas which would have been great since to tell my family in person it has to happen then or next August... So I guess it seemed to perfect I couldn't help but get my hopes up, but I really am ok.

Thinking of everyone. Michelina, I hope you get great news tomorrow!
Cristine
((((Fookie)))) My heart just sunk for you... that really sucks, I'm so so sorry! I know how much you weren't looking forward to going through all of that crap again next month. It seems like you're dealing with it quite well though. But if you're holding back at all, please know that you can feel free to vent here any time!! In the meantime I want you to go out with Mr. F tonight to get your mind off things over a nice dinner and a couple therapeutic drinks!! Hopefully we'll both be looking forward to July babies soon!
Michelina
(((Fookie))) I know you understandably didn't have much hope for this month, but it still badly stings I'm sure. I'm glad you have a lot going on this weekend. I hear you on the thoughts of the perfect timing. I have had similar thoughts and fantasies about telling my mom and aunt this weekend and then gradually telling other family by Christmas. I try to control those thoughts, but it's virtually impossible.

(((Cristine))) Also sorry to hear this wasn't your month. Good timing on the period at least. How choked would you have been if you got your period the morning after the concert? :-) I hear you on your frustration with the couple you know. It really feels awful hearing those stories at this time.

A friend of my friend went on and on about how she cannot wait to have a baby. She tried for one or two months and found out she was pregnant 2 days after her wedding. And here we are 8 months later and still not pregnant. It was hard finding out she is pregnant and I'm not even a friend of hers. It's only getting harder. None of my friends are pregnant right now, but it's only a matter of time.

Jenny, I laughed at your TP story with the finger through the wet tissue. That happens to me all of the time too! I'm glad to hear I'm not crazy. That really is the beauty of this board. We can just tell it like it is.

Funnybird, I have done OPK's as late as 8pm before. I think as long as it's not the morning, it should be fine. I find that I get the darkest line right around suppertime or early evening. Speaking of which, I should order more soon so that they get here on time.

Jenny, how are you feeling now?

I have no spotting at 13dpo so this is truly record breaking for me since TTC. My temp was nicely elevated this morning, but of course that is the prog supplements working. I'm VERY happy with the progesterone. It gives me something to celebrate today and I must focus on that and not hearing that I'm not pregnant if that's the case. I really don't think I'm pregnant. I feel totally normal although I think I have a cold coming on, which kind of sucks. I go for my blood draw as soon as I get to work this morning. I thought about doing a pee test, but decided against it.
zelda
Aw, Fookie...so very sorry to hear this was not your month. (((Fookie))) I know how easy it is to want to plan how you will tell and all of that...thinking of you. I continue to be impressed by your positive attitude and forward-thinking, even when all this is going on. You're awesome! This will happen for you, I do believe this.

Michelina, I cannot stress to you enough how absolutely "not pregnant" I felt the day I tested positive. Honestly. There were many months when I was sure I was PG and was not...and the month it happened, I felt 100 % normal. It's only in the past few days when I've really started to feel different...really bloated, zits all over, heartburn, tired, etc. And even those symptoms could be explained away by other things.

Crossing my fingers for you...

I've completely stopped looking at TP per my therapist's advice, and it's helping.

Slept last night (yay!) and had weird dreams including one where I wandered a grocery store the size of a football stadium. Huh?
Cristine
Michelina, isnít your LP usually 12 days? I am sooooooo hoping the progesterone did it for you this month!!!!!

Has anyone here tried the ClearBlue fertility monitor? My friend is bringing it to me this weekend and she always tested in the morning. Itís my understanding that it basically does the same thing as an OPK but it just analyzes my hormones a bit longer. So Iím not sure if I should test in the morning (like a fertility test) or the afternoon (like an ovulation test). I downloaded a PDF of the directions from their website and it doesnít specify a preferred time.

Michelina
Cristine, my LP is rarely even 12 days. I would say on average it's 11. I am not taking not having a period as a sign of pregnancy because that is the progesterone working. But at least it's working! I have not tried the CB fertility monitor. I've never tried anything but the strips I get online.

Still no word from the clinic. They close in just over an hour. In a way I don't want to know. That sounds silly maybe. I just hate feeling disappointed. Then again, I may as well just know and get my period so I can look ahead to next month. I know there is still a chance I'll get good news, but I just don't have a good feeling.
Cristine
Michelina, I really hope you get some terrific news soon, please keep us posted!! I have everything crossed for you!!!
Michelina
I just got the call. Negative. I think this is worse than getting my period.
Cristine
Oh God Michelina, I am so sorry!!! Is the result definitive? Did they say anything else? Not that there's a word I can say to try to make you feel better, so I'm not going to keep sitting here trying to think of something say... this just sucks! I'm here for you, as I'm sure all of the other ladies are. You are in my heart & on my mind right now.
Cristine
Update on my friend's 12-day-late wife, I just sent him a text asking if there was any news and if she tested... he replied back "no prego". And the sick part in my mind was actually momentarily happy/relieved with that result. But then I started thinking that maybe it was stress resulting in delayed ovulation, maybe it was one of those ever so common early M/C's or a chemical pregnancy... then I started to get upset because I can't really help her! If they would just be upfront with me about trying, I could recommend TCOYF to them or relay some of the valuable information I've gathered over the past several months. We could actually go through this together since none of our other friends are trying right now! I know I sound so bad for my initial reaction to her not being pregnant... but can I just blame it on TTC overload??? Thanks again for listening you beautiful BUSTies...
zelda
Oh Michelina, damn it! I was hoping for you...I know you don't want to hear me say what I'm about to say, but at least you can take comfort in knowing the progesterone WORKED. That is a good thing. A very good thing. And soon that progesterone will mean your body supporting a pregnancy. I just know it.

Thinking of you lots and lots and lots and LOTS.
Michelina
Thanks for your very kind words and support, Zelda and Cristine. I know you all had lots of positive thoughts and hopes for me, and I appreciate that very much. I cried at work in my office after getting the news and got caught red-eyed by my boss. I am sure he wondered what was up. I had a good cry and talk with my aunt when I got home (Mr. M wasn't home yet) then cried to Mr M when he got home. I am still feeling a little sick and am definitely down. I have been googling IUI this evening, pretty much convinced that we will have to go down that road. Feeling very defeated right now.
zelda
Michelina, I'm sorry you feel so down. I'm not sure if this makes you feel better or worse (hopefully better), but the fact that you've got the progesterone settled, well...it's almost as if you're really starting to try now with all the pieces in place. The odds are high you may have conceived once before and because of your LP, you simply weren't able to implant. I don't mean to suggest you are back at square one - after all, because you've been proactive, you were able to get this issue fixed under a year's time. And I know that all this doesn't make the last 8 or 9 months of agonizing TTC and timing sex go away...but I think it might make you feel better to know that you really haven't been trying under IDEAL circumstances until now. Now that all is sorted out, I have every faith you will conceive naturally without IUI.

Am I making sense? ((((((((((((Michelina)))))))))))))
funnybird
Michelina, I was about to post something very similar to Zelda, but she beat me to it (and phrased it a lot better too). As this is possibly your first attempt where a fertilized egg would be able to implant successfully, it is a bit like your first month of trying. And there are so many incidental reasons why it still didn't happen this month that aren't a sign of anything being wrong; maybe Mr. M's sperm swam up the wrong tube, or the little fingers at the ends of your fallopian tubes (I can't remember what they're called) failed to catch your egg as it burst out of its follicle, or the egg got fertilized but didn't implant simply because it didn't hit the right spot on its way into your uterus... Any of these things could have happened, and the sheer random pot-luck nature of conception doesn't make it any less frustrating or painful after all these months. I'm thinking of you, and Fookie and Cristine too.

Cristine, I think the fact that your thoughts on your friend's wife so quickly turned to concern and wanting to help reflect a beautiful and generous nature. You have my admiration :-)
eyelet
I was just reflecting on Zelda's comment about trying not to see the many months of TTC as wasted time and I wanted to put in my two cents about how when your kid finally does arrive, it's so clear when you meet this child that it had to be her (or him). In my case, never meeting the right person, and "wasting" all my child bearing years pained me deeply. Then, in the weirdest twist of fate, I end up reconnecting with the first man I ever had sex with and I have my first pregnancy and child with him 25 years later. And she is my perfect baby--the one I was supposed to have--so the years of doubt and tribulation are worth it to me. Sometimes real life really does start to resemble the schlockiest fiction.
zelda
Oh, Lord. The bloating is UNREAL. I eat something and am instantly burping, farting, and carrying with me an intense bubble of air inside me. Flatulence, indigestion, ugh...and the thing is, I am insanely hungry. I eat and eat and instantly feel gross afterward, then want to eat more later.

UGHHHH....and I am eating very good for me food, for the most part. But it is not really helping.

At least I'm not nauseated. Yet.
Fookie
Michelina, I agree with what Zelda, Eyelet, and Funnybird have said. As frustrating as it is, all those months with extra short LP don't really count towards your TTC. One of the more frustrating stories I've heard about a couple going to see their doctor about infertility were friends of mine who went after miscarrying at 11 months. Their doctor told them that since they were young and had conceived within a year, those 11 months didn't count and they were back to counting from scratch after the miscarriage. Happy ending though, they are now parents to a 14 month old. I love what Eyelet wrote about the time not mattering because the baby you will get will be "the" perfect baby that was meant for you. Mr. F. and I talk about this all the time. The idea is whether this takes us another three years to conceive on our own, through IVF or to adopt ... we wouldn't have had THAT baby otherwise and "baby" will of course be the most perfect baby for us.

Zelda, your bloating stories are funny. Good for you for eating good stuff. I'm not sure I'd have your commitment to the healthy stuff!

Wedding was beautiful. My speech kicked ass, and Mr. F. and I danced the night away. Such a very good event to get our mind off my period and the fact that I'm back into a treatment cycle. Went in this morning for day 3. All looks good. Start injections tonight. I'm now double the dosage we started with. Doc had very serious talk with me about multiples and selected reduction and made it very clear they do not consider anything over two babies a success or a healthy pregnancy. With this dosage I'll be making about five eggs. I'm also starting a new injection/drug this month that will prevent me from ovulating on my own. Thus ensuring eggs make it to nice size. Those injections start late this week. So between blood every day, regular injection everyday, and this one starting every day later this week... I'm going to be a regular old pin cushion. The only way to get through this is truly by finding any possible way to stay optimistic. By day 10 though, I'm usually starting to feel pretty sore and tired of it all, so will definitely be needing encouragement by next weekend.

Thinking of you all.
jenny_dreadful
(((michelina))) I'm so sorry to read your disappointing news and am sending you lots of positive thoughts. Fookie, I'm sorry to read you got your period but the wedding and your speech sound great! Good luck with this cycle and with your new treatment, I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you. Zelda, the strange quirks of digestion associated with pregnancy seem to have hung around for me! Me and the Mr joke about 'pregnancy wind', in that I constantly have gas of some kind or other.

I've had a dramatic weekend and have been in the hospital since Friday. Having had a stinky cold all last week, and two days off work and feeling generally sorry for myself, I went to the loo on Friday afternoon at 4.30 to find that I had been bleeding. There was bright red blood in my knickers and when I wiped there was quite a lot of blood. Sort of medium flow period levels. There wasn't a sudden gush but I had been feeling kind of damp for a while, so I think the bleed could have happened anytime between then and lunchtime (I think Julie has posted quite eloquently in the past about pregnancy discharge and I agree with her that a kind of moistness in the general area becomes pretty normal).

Anyway, I started to panic, picked up my handbag, didn't bother even logging out my computer and left the office. I was frantically trying to get hold of the Mr (whose phone was on silent the whole time I was calling him as he'd been napping) and calling the hospital. The first message I left on the Mr's phone began "I hate to leave a 'this is an 'emergency' message but..." and ended with me sobbing as I explained the bleeding. I was just so terrified. The hospital told me to come in, so I jumped in a cab and went to the ante-natal assessment unit at St Thomas's hospital.

As soon as I got to the assessment centre and explained the situation they took me into a cubicle and put the heart monitor on the baby. After an agonising couple of minutes the nurse found the heartbeat and was able to reassure me that the baby was there. She examined my underwear to see what I had lost (mortifying!) and brought me through to a delivery room in the birth unit to be examined by the midwife. By this time it was about quarter to 6 and I was told that a midwife would see me by 6 and that I was to press an emergency button if anyone hadn't been through to me by then.

When I was left on my own, the Mr eventually called through. I've never been so pleased to hear from anybody in my whole life! Considering only about an hour and 15 mins had elapsed between noticing the bleeding and that point, I felt like I'd been on my own for hours! I told him to come in and bring my maternity notes and he went and got in a cab. Then my mum called as I'd tried her in my initial panic, and she'd missed the call, it was good to be able to tell her what was going on.

Shortly after the midwife appeared, and it was the same midwife I'd spoken to when I first called the hospital. She connected me to a baby monitor with straps checking me for uterine contractions and straps for measuring the baby's heartbeat, it was such a relief when she was quickly able to tell me that the baby's movements and heartbeat were normal, that he was not in distress or showing any signs of heart rate deceleration (which apparently happens when there is a threatened early delivery because the baby can start conserving its energy for birth). She was also able to tell me that I was not having contractions.

She was very calm and reassuring and said that the blood loss could be related to my low-lying placenta, but that even though it could be 'one of those things' they would only be able to tell me that for sure once I'd had the baby, and she warned me that it was likely that I would be admitted to hospital for monitoring. She told me also that doctors would come and examine me, and that they would check my cervix to see if there were any signs of dilation. She asked if I'd lost any fluid that might suggest my waters had broken, but nothing like that had happened.

She left me and the Mr arrived, thank god! It all felt so much more manageable and less scary once he got there. While we were waiting for the doctors to arrive my mum texted me to say that she had cancelled the baby shower that she was throwing me on the weekend. It made it all feel very serious that plans were having to change to accommodate this situation. I obviously also felt gutted that my party was off!

The doctors arrived, checked my cervix and told me that it was still closed ( a very good sign!), read the baby monitor read outs and said that the baby was fine. They also told me that the two most likely causes of the bleeding were low-lying placenta, where the growth of the foetus can cause pressure on the placenta and little bits can break away, and placenta abrupto when the placenta separates from the uterus. The latter is normally associated with pain, and I didn't have any pain. Their biggest concern was that there might be another more serious bleed waiting to happen and so they told me that I would be brought in for monitoring. I had a canula inserted into my hand to allow them to get fluids and blood into me just in case I had another bleed (it really hurt, and the Mr fainted when I was having it done! Luckily he was sat in a chair at the time).

Their other concern was that if there was another bleed and/or if the cervix opened that they would have to deliver the baby. They gave me a major steroid injection to help mature the baby's lungs so that he would stand a better chance if he did have to be born early. He would be 2 months premature if he came now!

Once they had found a bed for me in the ante-natal ward they took me through, by this time it was about 9.15. I had absolutely nothing with me so the hospital had to give me a nightie and a toothbrush etc! Visitors are kicked off the ward at 9, so the Mr had to leave shortly afterwards and I was left in the hospital. It was the first time I've had an overnight stay in hospital since I was 8, it was really disorientating and weird, and worrying, but the care I received was great. I was hooked up to the baby monitor again that night and once more in the morning, both times his heartrate and movements were normal. My blood pressure was up and down, and in the morning it was high so they took more blood samples to see if there were any signs of pre-eclampsia (there weren't) and eventually it did settle down.

In the end I had to stay for another night. The hospital wanted there to be 24 hours of no bleeding at all (they only counted bright red blood loss as 'real' bleeding as I continued to get pinkish bleeding for quite a while) plus I had to have another steroid injection and they wanted to monitor how I responded to that.

Fortunately I've had no more bleeding, my blood pressure has returned to normal, baby seems to be fine and so I was discharged just after 10am this morning. My mum came to see me yesterday (a journey of a few hours) and stayed at my flat with the Mr last night (this is the most time they have ever spent together without my being there) and went home after we all had breakfast together with my brother he came to meet us after I was discharged. I've slept all afternoon and really tried to get my head together about the whole thing. I am terrified every time I go to the toilet in case I've had more of a bleed, and have to go for a scan on Tuesday to see where my placenta is.

All in all, this weekend has been surreal, emotional and extremely frightening but with a big stream of happiness running through it as nothing really wrong has been revealed. Plus it just is wonderful to feel this amazing love for my unborn child that makes everything else going on seem so trivial. I would have run through fire to get to the hospital on Friday to make sure he was OK. He kicked me a few times in the cab on the way to the hospital which I'm so glad of.

Please keep your fingers crossed for me that my little man will stay put, sorry for mammoth update, but thank you for the opportunity to put this all down.

Cristine
Jenny, your ordeal sounds horrifying! I am so glad that everything turned out ok and that everything seems normal. You and your little guy will be in my prayers that he holds on until he's due! You really seem to be dealing with everything well, feel free to post as long as you want if you need to just release! My BFF had a ton of scary bleeding when standing up after a doctor's exam about 1 month before her little guy was due. The worst part is that the doctor seemed very concerned and stupidly said that he hadn't seen anything like that before. She was absolutely fine after that and delivered the baby at full term, he is 6 months old now and beautiful and healthy! I can't even imagine how terrifying something like that must be, but it's at least reassuring that something this crazy can happen and virtually mean nothing in the end!

Fookie, I'm thinking of you during this next round... it sounds completely exhausting but we're all here for you to hopefully lift your spirits! Just try to stay focused on the goal everytime you feel discouraged!

Michelina, how are you??? I hope you're doing ok! I completely agree with what everyone has said about how it's kinda like this was month 1 of TTC and, though that might sound discouraging, you should find some encouragement in the fact that you're now fully armed to obtain & sustain a healthy pregnancy! You're in my thoughts...

zelda
Mother of pearl, jenny! What a terrifying weekend. I know how frightening it can be to have to go to the hospital due to emergency as I was just there last weekend myself! (We really are livening up this thread, aren't we?) But to have to go for bleeding like this...my goodness!

I am so so so grateful that all is well. I know how scary it must be, but it does sound like the worst has passed and all will be okay. I know the next few weeks will be scary, but just think - every day your little guy is getting healthier and stronger and soon it will be safe for him to come out. All signs point to you having a full term baby despite all this craziness...still, I am sure it must have been absolutely horrible!

I am thinking of you...please update us.

(((jennyd)))
julie124
(((jennyd)))
Oh my word, how incredibly scary for you. I'm glad that things seem to have worked out and that all signs point to a healthy pregnancy from here on out, but how positively terrifying. My thoughts and prayers stay with you and baby. Just a few more weeks, baby boy, hang in there! Thanks for sharing your story.

((Michelina))
I'm so sorry about the negative result. You have kept a really positive outlook throughout the time I've known you on this thread, but I know that it can just be so crushing to have things not go your way with this latest cycle. I'm thinking of you and wishing you good things. Take care of yourself.

Cristine, I'm thinking of you too. I too was touched by your concern for your friend's wife. I agree, it's hard to go through these things alone. We want what we want and it hurts not to get it in the time we want it (and it's OKAY to be extremely sad and disappointed and angry when we don't get it, even if we're happy for others).

Fookie, thinking of you too and wishing you the best in this latest cycle.

zelda, you sound good - glad to hear things seem to be going okay save the bloating. Be prepared for that to kind of come and go - I used to have little stretches of 2-3 days of horrible bloating and would think, "holy crap, is this what it's going to be like from here on out?" I found that small meals (where you can, I know the hunger monster is difficult to resist), walking, and plenty of water and fiber tended to help me. The bloating feeling can often be managed, but the burping and farting is probably going to happen no matter what you do. So get good at blaming the pets.

eyelet, I completely agree about the notion of "it had to be him/her" when it comes to your baby. I had been dying to get pregnant for years and was in despair so many times about mr. julie not being ready to have kids. And now that we're almost there (holy crap!) I believe that this truly was the right time for us. It would be nice to be doing this a bit earlier in life, but our little guy was waiting for us to get our shit together, I guess.

Just got back today from my last plane trip before baby. It was a lot of fun seeing family and friends, and though it was tiring as hell I really enjoyed it. There were some sad elements - mr. julie's grandmother is doing much worse than we'd thought and was in bed both times we came over to visit. I worry about my mother-in-law's health too - she is working full time, looking out for her mom when she can, and dealing with diabetes, asthma, and (I'm convinced) some depression. Her house is like one of those places they show on those clutter makeover shows and she says she is simply "too exhausted" to clean up. mr. julie was really troubled about it too - he worries about his mom's health and he realizes that it's probably about something much deeper than the clutter. We had a good talk about it over the weekend.

On the up side, I got to see my college roommate and her two kids, and we visited with a number of friends while in town. It is REALLY hard to carve out time for naps and resting, and I didn't rest nearly often enough. I also discovered that my plan to do work on the plane both there and back wasn't going to work...because it is damn near impossible to reach anything from underneath the airplane seat in front of me with the belly in the way. So I'm getting ready to do a little work tonight and will do work from home tomorrow, since my part-time gig actually has the Columbus Day holiday as a paid day off. I had a nap this afternoon after I got home, so I'm feeling a little more refreshed now.

My pregnancy buddy ("my preggo friend" whom I reference from time to time) is now a mom! She gave birth to a healthy baby girl late last week, the day we left on our trip, just a few days before her due date. I am excited for her and at the same time it feels really weird...it kind of underlines the fact that I'm not just going to be pregnant forever.

Little guy seems to be doing well. He definitely has his rest periods and his activity periods, and the activity periods are all about me getting jabbed in various organs these days. I'm also getting this feeling that is kind of like heartburn but I feel it in different spots (at different times) up near my ribcage. I think he's wedged in there a lot and that's what's kind of hurting a bit. Also, I noticed over the weekend that my bra is starting to cut into me a bit under the boobs...I'm thinking it may be time for new bras soon, and maybe time for me to start looking for nursing bras.
ananke
Oh God Jenny, that must have been terrifying! I'm glad it's gone well - high blood pressure is worrying at the best of times, least of all with a bleed. You poor thing.

I'm with Eyelet on the baby thing - the time will come and it is the baby for you.

Fookie, i hope this is the cycle for you! I was just talking with Mr A about selective reduction and multiples - it'd be so hard. We just had a case here with a woman having two sets of quads and a set of twins through IVF and there was a lot of furore about how dangerous it is. I hope it all goes well though.

Zelda, I don't know if I've told this story before, but while I was pregnant I was talking with one of the girls at work about it (emphasis on girl - she's seventeen with a toddler). She's this lovely little Indian girl, totally beautiful and usually really demure and quiet. She first asked me if I'm gassy and when I said yes she said "I have never ever farted as much as I did while I was pregnant. I farted ALL THE TIME" and while I was choking back a laugh from that she went on to say "and they were rank, just awful". I nearly peed myself laughing.

julie - I hate to be a one-track mind but my gallbladder issues felt like heartburn through the entire second and third trimesters. So if it gets bad, make sure you mention that to the nurses! They don't think about it usually, even though it's super common during and after pregnancy.

Fallon got weighed today and she's huge! 25 inches tall and 16 pound. She's doing well on developmental stuff too, which is great.
Fookie
(((((Jenny))))) My goodness! What a frightening experience. I'm so glad that everything turned out OK. What nightmare it must have been while it was happening. Since things did work out OK ... my only question remains ... is it too late to un-cancel the wedding shower?!!!

Julie, I'm sorry about mr. julie's grandmother and your mother-in-law's possible depression. It's so hard to be far from family when things like this are happening. Does Mr. Julie have any siblings that live nearby? Or any close family members who could look in on his mom?

Thanks everyone for your words of support. Feeling this defeated before the cycle's even really began is probably not going to bode well for my state of mind this time around. Honestly, at this point, what's keeping me optimistic is that I've been very clear that December will be my final cycle. That will be the sixth, and after that I'm done. On to other things. Mr. F. is not as pleased with my decision as I am. He only wants to think about it working this month, or in december, not about where we go after December if it doesn't work. It would be nice if I got pregnant on either of these two cycles, but it would also be nice to have many months of rest. Take my life out of limbo and focus on things like paying down debt, going to the gym more often, looking for a new job (mine is fine, but there's no where for me to go up, but right now there's pretty much no chance i could find another job where they didn't blink when i came in late two weeks out of ever second month b/c of mysterious doctor's appointments!) Mr. F. as wonderful as he is, can't really comprehend how my life has just been in a holding pattern these last few years. Anyway, my optimism this month, so far, is more related to the fact that after december, i won't have to do this anymore, rather than on the hope of success. Kind of sad, I know, but that's just where i'm at.

Michelina
OMG Jenny, I am so sorry about your traumatic experience. What a relief that the little guy is fine. Take care of yourself and please let us know how you're doing. I'll be thinking of you.

Fookie, what you said about your hopes of getting this behind you makes sense. It must be a completely draining process - in every way. After this amount of time, who can blame you for not having a lot of hope that it will happen this way. All you can do is take care of you and take care of your wonderful relationship with Mr. F. When you said "on to other things" are you talking about other fertility treatments in future? Or is that even a consideration for you? I hear that Quebec is now covering IVF under health care. Do you think Ontario will go down that road soon?

I have been sick all weekend and have had bad bad cramps too. Thankfully today is Canadian Thanksgiving and I can veg. It took 2 days of progesterone withdrawal for my period to come. I'm glad it wasn't more than that.

Thank you for all of your words and for pointing out that I will get the baby who is right for me, whenever that is. I guess that if someone had a crystal ball and could tell me that I will be a parent someday for sure, I would feel more relaxed. But not knowing if it will ever happen causes me anxiety and worry. It goes back to my need to control. I know I need to have faith that the baby will come through adoption if not through nature or fertility treatment. Speaking of which, my wonderful aunt (who has been like another mom to me) has offered to help us pay for IVF if we need / want it.
Fookie
Hi Michelina.

I'm talking about whether we decide to do IVF or start the adoption process. There's an eight year wait for a healthy baby in Ontario right now, so we'd be looking at international. A huge part of me hates the idea of paying all that money for IVF and it not working. BUT... there is a lot of stuff they can see through the IVF process that they can't test for now. And if there was some sort of egg/sperm incompatibility, or cell division issues that could never be overcome, it would be so much easier to move onto adoption. I'm not sure if you've followed the government panel's recomendations on funding IVF in ontario, but the panel the government put together a few years ago to study the issue, came out with a recommendation to fund up to three IVF cycles. My doc thinks it will happen, but thinks it could take at least a year for it to start happening. HOnestly at this point, I'd be fine with waiting. I am from Quebec and trust me, if there was a feasible way to do it, I'd be back there in a second. Between that and the $7/day daycare ...

It's wonderful that your aunt is offering to help with IVF. That is such a long way off in your fertility journey though, so please don't give up hope that this will happen for you, naturally. My mom has also hinted at helping out, but I'm not sure I how I would feel if it didn't work. It's not like my mom is swimming in dough and although she'd never hold it against me, I don't think i could live with the guilt. I think that if I ever let her help out it would be towards international adoption which costs upwards of $25,000 but at least ensures a return on her investment smile.gif
Cristine
Michelina & Fookie, you guys are on my mind right now and I truly hope that each of you get a happy surprise before having to seriously contemplate IVFÖ you both have wonderful families to offer financial assistance in case you decide that option down the road. And adoption is certainly a thought that Mr. C & I havenít kept far from our minds. I think even if we have children that it may be something we want to do later on in life. My fingers are crossed for you both!!!

I'm on CD 7 and just started the ClearBlue fertility monitor today, I'll keep you guys posted as to whether or not it's worthwhile or if it's just a glorified OPK.
Cristine
Oh and today is the first day I've felt my cervix since before my period, so now I know what high & soft feels like... just waiting one of these days to know what "open" feels like. And good news on the cervical bump. I thought that I noticed it decreasing in size the day before my period, but I can confirm right now that it is substantially smaller than before, so I feel pretty encouraged that it's probably nothing to be concerned about.
zelda
Glad the bump is going away Christine...figured it would. The Clear Blue Fertility Monitor was going to be our next step in TTC...an acquaintance of mine tried for 7 months and got pregnant the first month they used it. Good luck!

Michelina and Fookie, how lucky to have family that can help with costs. Michelina, I am glad you were able to veg today. I, too, agree with Fookie that you are still so early in this journey, esp. considering you just had this initial problem solved. I am sure you are tired of all our upbeat-edness (is that a word?), but I really do believe good things are in store. I was the exact same way as you when TTC - I just wanted to know it would happen eventually. Believe me, the anxiety and control freakishness merely skyrockets once you are pregnant.

Julie, glad you were able to travel although I'm sorry about your mother in law. Glad you and Mr. Julie were able to have a good talk about it...good luck finding good nursing bras!

Ananke, glad Fallon is doing well!

As for me, I'm doing pretty well. I slept brilliantly over the weekend, but last night was kind of rough. Fortunately, no panic. I think insomnia is just going to be up and down and a part of this pregnancy, and I'm just going to accept that...which I think will make it easier to handle and maybe less frequent. By the way, my ER visit was $3000. After my insurance paid its part, we will owe $1200. Screw the US health care system!

jenny_dreadful
Zelda, I am so shocked at the cost of your hospital treatment and thank my lucky stars for the NHS.

Good news on the bump, Cristine, glad it doesn't look like anything to worry about. Good luck with the Clearblue fertility monitor. I haven't used it myself, but I used to use something similar for contraception, the Persona device (every day it would flash a green, red or amber light meaning have sex! don't have sex! pee on a stick!) which was great at teaching me when I ovulated and I think really helped us to conceive.

Fookie, I really hope that you get good news this cycle. Your description of life being in a holding pattern is exactly what a friend said to me recently about her own life; she is beginning IVF this month but has spent the past 3 years exploring different treatments for 'unexplained infertility' and she said that in a way it would be a relief to know that there were no avenues left to pursue.

Michelina, I hope you feel rested after the long weekend, it's so kind of your aunt to offer the financial help. I hope this month brings positive news for you too.

Julie, glad to hear your trip went well. but sorry to hear about Mr Julie's mother and grandmother, that must be a tough situation to be dealing with from afar. Hope you catch up on your rest soon - I'm beginning to feel just exhausted if I don't sleep or just sit enough!

Things are still looking fine with me and my little man. I've been in for a scan this morning. They've been able to tell me that my placenta is no longer low-lying, but it has moved up as my uterus has grown, so it isn't covering the cervix and blocking the baby's way out. All the baby's measurements were normal, right on target, and he weighs 4lbs 1oz now. He's in a head down position; in fact, when they did the trans-vaginal scan to see the edge of the placenta they showed me his head pretty much up against the cervix. No wonder I've developed a bit of a waddle in my walk.

The question remains - why was I bleeding? If the placenta isn't responsible, then what is? The sonographer can't answer those type of questions, and I need to go and see my consultant on Thursday where I hope to get a bit more info. Having been Googling the problem, apparently in 40% of cases of bleeding in late pregnancy there is no definite cause, so I guess it might just be one of those things that has no real explanation.

Thanks for all of your kind words and concern, it really helps having a place like this to come and talk.
Cristine
Zelda, I agree about our horrible healthcare system. I recently had a co-worker go to the ER in the middle of the night because he believed he might be having a heart attack, they determined it was something else which was insignificant enough that the insurance declared he had gone to the ER in a non-emergency situation... resulting in a $10,000 bill he has to pay for out of pocket! I'm really hoping for insurance reform soon!

Jenny, I'm glad you're feeling better and that you didn't run into anything scary on Google. Good luck on Thursday, please keep us posted!

I'm on CD 8 and the monitor said I am at high fertility, which is a result of increased Estrogen... I might see about 5 days of this before my peak fertility days, but I still got excited! smile.gif

Funnybird, where are you at in your cycle?
Michelina
Jenny, I am glad to hear you are still doing well. I guess it's somewhat reassuring that bleeding in almost half of cases is unexplained. What is your due date? I should be keeping a list. :-)

Cristine, yay for the fertility monitor and your estrogen level! I have a good feeling for you that it will not be long. And my feelings are known to be accurate. ;-)

Zelda, ouch! I can't wrap my head around paying that much money for an ER visit. Makes me very appreciative of the Canadian healthcare system (which is by no means flawless, but I'll keep it!) Glad to hear you are doing better. When do you get your next scan? Next time you'll actually get to see your baby bean!

Fookie, interesting news about IVF in Ontario. I just moved from Ontario a couple of years ago. Maybe we should have stayed! I wonder how long before the Western provinces follow suit.

I got my blood drawn for CD3 FSH testing today. That will tell me if I am in premature menopause.
eyelet
Just another 2 cents on healthcare. I used a midwife specifically because I wasn't insured. So I had to pay her $3500 out of pocket and then when things didn't go well and I had to go to the hospital for a c-section, I was stuck with a hospital bill of over 20K. I was not able buy maternity coverage because I am self-employed, and such a thing does not exist. Fortunately, the hospitalization was ultimately covered by Medicaid, which has a more lenient threshold for income when it comes to pregnancy and birth, but if I had made even slightly more money this year, I would not have been eligible and would have had no choice but bankruptcy. This is a very very flawed system, and whatever your politics may be, it's clear that something has to change.

Now stepping off soapbox.
Cristine
Oh Michelina, please donít think the worstÖ I know itís just a matter of time for you! Correct me if Iím wrong, but didnít your doctor simply think it was just a matter of your LP and thatís why they started the progesterone treatments? When will you find out the results of the blood test? Have you ever tried the at-home FSH tests? Iím sure theyíre not as accurate but it was very comforting to see that the pee test thought I am still fertile. And thank you so much for your good feelings, I hope youíre right! Iím sending all my best wishes right back to you!!

Eyelet, I second you on politics being irrelevant when it comes to the health & well-being of our citizens! I believe the U.S. is the only ďmajor world powerĒ that still has yet to move to a national healthcare system, and by the looks of it, it doesnít seem that weíll get a true NHS because both sides of Congress want to compromiseÖ which will only result in neither side being truly happy with the outcome. And might I add that France has spectacular benefits for new moms. Their government employees actually go out to their homes and help with chores & errands, completely free of charge, for I believe at least the first 3 months! Not to mention that their maternity leave is considerably longer and I believe they still get their full salary. Ok, Iíll get off the soapbox too. wink.gif

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