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zelda
Hey all...I just had a really, really shitty day.

One of my students was shot and killed last night in a hit and run accident. My student was riding with her mom and this man hit their car. When the mom chased the car to try and get the plates, the man in the other car pointed a gun at them and shot. My student was hit in the head and died this morning.

In the middle of all of this craziness, I got a call at work from my doctor that I need to come in tomorrow because I failed my first glucose screening, so I have to go in for the three hour screening tomorrow morning. I'm scared about that. Also, my iron is a little low and I need to take iron supplements.

I know both of these things are not huge deals and are relatively normal, but to get this news on the heels of this tragedy with my student is just too much...just a crappy, crappy day.
funnybird
Shit Zelda, that's horrific - just so fucked up I can't get my head around it. I'm so sorry your results weren't all plain sailing after you already had to deal with such horrible news. I hope things go better for you today. (((Zelda)))

nickclick
(((zelda))) that is sad news. how did the screening go today?
aphelendra
Zelda - I wish I had some sage words of advice or some tid bit of comfort to offer . . . . but really what can be said about something so tragic other than I'm so sorry this happened? And I hope you find some kind of comfort soon . . . . in the mean time I'm sure you'll be a great comfort to your students and the community, just like you've been a wonderful comfort to all of us busties . . . .


Cristine
Zelda, how are you, how was the screening?

I started my period last night, which wasn't too big of a surprise after my temp dip yesterday. So we're gonna give it another cycle before I get referred to an infertility clinic. I'm pretty excited about IUI even though I don't know everything about it, does anyone have anything I need to know?

Michelina & funnybird, how are you doing?
aphelendra
Hey Christine -

I conceived during an IUI cycle. We didn't use any FSH drugs (the variety that stimulate ovulation and cause production of multiple eggs), which made the process relatively simple, although I did use Ovidrel ( an HCG drug to ensure ovulation was complete) and later was put on a pretty high dose of progesterone.

The procedure itself was totally painless, although I think some women get some minor crampy feelings when the catheter passes the cervix. The weirdest part was having to lie on my back with my knees in the air for fifteen minutes (and the fact that I was totally impregnated by a women, ha ) in the middle of an exam room.

A week after I had blood drawn and started my progesterone lozenges. Twelve days later we knew we were preggers!

If I had one piece of advice to give it would be to pay really close attention to your body around ovulation. The clinic had me using standard OPKs and they can be tricky to read. We went after closing on a thursday to have an u/s, because I couldn't tell if my OPK was positive or not (one of the NPs at the clinic stayed open for us, she'll be getting flowers on my delivery day!). My dominant follicle was 15mm, they sent me home and told me to come back sunday morning for the insemination. But friday night I noticed tons of fertile CM and ended up calling them at 10 at night and asked to have the procedure done the next morning. By the time I made it in saturday morning, I had already ovulated.. If we had waited until sunday we surely would not have conceived that month . . . .

Anyways, I hope some of that was helpful, and I'd be more than happy to answer any other questions at all . . . .
Good luck!!!!!!

Hope everyone else is doing well . . . .

I'm going a little nutso over here. For some reason I was convinced my 20 wk u/s was scheduled for last friday, but when I went to double check it turned out the appt was for next thursday . . . . aaaaarrrrrrgggg how time drags . . . . Luckily Mr. had already arranged to take the day off, so instead of going to the doctor we did some shopping, got him a much needed haircut, and went to dinner with friends. still would have been better to see buggo . . . .

New u/s countdown . . . . . five looooooonnnnng days to go . . . . .

ellenevenstar
Hi All,
Sorry I completely dropped off the radar. It just got too much to keep up with.
I want to let you know our joyful news: our daughter Elsie was born on Monday 22 February at 36 weeks + 4 days' gestation.

Pregnancy was all plain sailing until the final two weeks when I had intermittent cramps which became more strong and regular, and I was losing mucus. The week before Elsie arrived I was ordered to complete bedrest and was in quite a lot of pain while gradually losing my mucus plug with a bit of blood. I had to finish work a week earlier than planned!

Elsie was breech and I'd been doing all sorts of things to turn her - yoga poses, light and sound on lower abdomen, visualisation and acupuncture. I had an ECV booked for Wednesday 24th but we didn't make it that far! My waters broke on the acupuncture table on Monday evening at 5:30 pm. We were in hospital by 6:30 and were told that the 35 week ultrasound showed that her bottom was particularly small, while her head was relatively big, so attempting vaginal breech delivery would be extremely risky - so I was off for a caesarean section and she was out by 10:23pm. She did not need any special care and, apart from taking a couple of days to get her head around sucking on my boob, she has been well and thriving since.

We have been at home for a week now and are absolutely loving it. To us, she is the most gorgeous being ever created! She's sleeping quite well at night and feeding's going extremely well now.

Thanks for your support during the early, nervous days of my pregnancy with Elsie.
I wish for similarly blissful outcomes for you all xxx
ellen.
zelda
Ellen, so good to hear from you...and so happy that Elsie is happy and safe at home despite a rough few weeks at the end. I love the name Elsie....was one of our girl name choices if we'd had a girl!

Thank you all for the kind words about my student. It has been really hard and emotional for me these past few days. She was such a lovely kid, so sweet and funny. It has been really hard to make sense of the senseless. My school community has been rallying, but there is no way to really get closure on something so sad...

Thanks for the kind words about my screening. The three hour test is really annoying but ultimately not too bad. The worst was I was so hungry having had to fast the night before and that morning. They drew my blood four times after drinking the glucose solution. I'll hopefully learn the results Monday. My research has told me that only 15% of women who have to have the additional screening actually end up having gestational diabetes, and even if I have it, it's completely manageable with diet and exercise. Of course I hope I don't have it, but if I do, I will deal with it for little Elliott!

Lately I've been having fears about Elliott's movement which I know is completely anxiety-based. My doctor told me to do kick count checks for my peace of mind during this last trimester. After eating breakfast and dinner, rest for an hour and make sure I get 10 movements within one hour. Well little Elliott has been moving far more than that - typically 10 movements in 10 to 15 minutes! But in the middle of the night, he has been very quiet. I find myself waking up to go to the bathroom and then, when I get back to bed, I wait for movement and get nervous when I don't feel it. He's just sleeping, most likely, but I still get nervous when I don't feel him! I'm dreading the last few weeks when I know he will move less....any mama BUSTies have any advice on not stressing about this so much?

The nursery is coming along - painted and furniture and clothing starting to pile up. I really, really cannot wait to meet him, It's amazing how during the pregnancy he has gone from this totally abstract concept to a real baby I talk to and visualize and love.

Cristine, I am glad you have folks here who are able to give you IUI advice...remember it took us 9 months or so...how many months have you been trying? At the very least you should get a preliminary screening of the both of you...we did that (well, we were in the process of doing that when I got knocked up!), and it really did help me feel more proactive.

Michelina, I would not let your SIL prevent you from going to Calgary...she's not worth it! I cannot believe her behavior - how totally insensitive. I would just hate to see you miss out on the IVF opportunity because of her callousness...perhaps you could go and stay in a hotel? Or make a visit very brief? I'm sure your brother will understand.

Okay, more later...and hope all are doing well!!!
Michelina
Ellen, congratulations on your little bundle! I am so pleased to hear that Elsie has made it into the world safe and sound.

Zelda, I am so sorry about your student. What a horrible loss. Random acts of violence are just so hard to understand. Will there be counselling available to the teachers and students at the school?

Cristine, I think you have a great plan. My experience with IUI has been similar to Aphelendra's save for the pregnancy part. :-) The worst part was not knowing when exactly I would get a positive OPK and having to scramble to make the appointment. The procedure itself was nothing more than wierd. Didn't hurt - maybe just pinched a little.

Funnybird, how are you? Where are you in your cycle?

I am on CD8 now and we have decided to try another IUI this month. I will do an hcg shot this month to trigger ovulation. We are hoping for a more decent count this time. But even so, I am not that optimistic. I feel like I am just going through the motions now.

I was away on vacation last week, which was great, but there were still many tears. I figure I cried about a dozen times over the week. If my SIL had only waited to tell me until after my vacation, my trip would have been much more relaxing. I made an appointment with my GP for next week to talk about anti-depressants. I know that it may be contraindicated due to fertility treatment, but on the other hand, given the current situation, I may just need something to keep me a little more level. I see the psychologist in two days.

I am very frustrated because even though I say I don't want to do IVF in Calgary now, I am super frustrated that the referral has not been received and now my doctor is away for several weeks. It is so hard to be in limbo - waiting for referrals, wondering if they have been made, whether they have been lost, worrying about time lines. And it's hard to feel one moment like I want to get started with IVF tomorrow and wanting nothing to do with it the next moment.

Thanks to all of you for the many kind words during this time.
Cristine
Thanks Aphelendra & Michelina! I'm sure I'll have more questions so thanks in advance for your advice!

Zelda, we've been unofficially trying for 10 months but 8 months officially.

Ellen, congratulations on little Elsie!!
aphelendra
Ellen, congrats! I'm glad things turned out so well, despite a scary week at the end. It's also very encouraging to hear that breastfeeding is going smoothly for you and Elsie. Sometimes I feel like all I hear are the negative stories . . . . which is a rant for another time, ha ha.

Zelda, sorry that the anxiety monster is rearing its ugly head again . . . . I just had a nasty panic attack this morning, and woke up Mr. at 4:30 am, sobbing about how we were going to manage to pay taxes with all our additional expenses this year . . . . I think it's back to therapy for me. Seriously, who wakes up in the middle of night sobbing about these things???? I do, apparently. At one point, there was actual wheezing.

Then I spent the rest of the morning convinced I had caused preterm labor with all of my hysteria. Ah, to be me. Anyways, am calmer now, and buggo is kicking away.

As happy as I was when I started to feel movement, sometimes it seems that it just created a whole new realm of worry. I feel ya Zelda, once they start moving I wish they would just never stop and I would never have to worry about what's going on in there . . . . they can sleep/rest when they come out, dammit!

Michelina, I'm glad you were able to get away, but still sorry you're feeling down. A pox on your SIL!

When I started trying to conceive I was still having lots of anxiety/depression issues. My psychiatrist told me that there were several antidepressants that were safe to take, although at the time I wasn't being seen by an infertility specialist, so I don't know if they would have felt differently. I didn't end up doing it, but it certainly was nice to know the option was there.

One of my mommy friends took Zoloft for her entire pregnancy and for her first few postpartum months, with no complications.

Good luck on the next IUI, I think it just shows how strong you really are, that you were able to move forward with treatment this month despite everything that's going on.

happiness and healthiness to all!

My 20 wk scan countdown continues . . . . four more long and arduous days . . . .


funnybird
Ellen, congratulations on little Elsie! I bet she's as beautiful as her name.

As for me - remember that I said a few posts ago that I had no hope for this cycle? Well, it seems I was wrong. Towards the end of the week my temperature started rising instead of falling like I expected, and on Friday morning I realised my chart looked awfully triphasic so I tested.... and it was positive!

It was a clearblue digital, and 'pregnant' came up straight away, and '2-3 weeks' a few moments later. We then spent the weekend with my family pretending nothing was out of the ordinary, which wasn't too hard as it doesn't seem to have sunk in yet. I think I'm still in shock!
Michelina
Funnybird, congratulations!!! I am so happy for you! You've been through hell this last year and I am so glad to see that you have good news. How are you feeling?
Cristine
FUNNYBIRD, CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!! You just made my day!!!! I'm so incredibly happy for you and wish you all the best!!!

biggrin.gif
aphelendra
YAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY FUNNYBIRD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

congrats congrats congrats!!!!!!!!!!
funnybird
Thanks! How do I feel? Just really, really surprised! I'd pretty much given up on the prospect of us conceiving naturally and had been planning what to say to my GP about getting us referred for tests. I had cramps for most of last week, but they seem to have eased of a bit although I'm still getting the odd twinge. My breasts are starting to feel tender and I'm rather gassy, but apart from that I don't feel any symptoms at all. I'm slightly reassured by the conception indicator on the test which shows that my hcg levels are more normal than last time, but I'm still nervous - I expect to see blood every time I use the toilet.

The whole weekend has been surreal. I think neither Architect Boy or I want to get too attached to the idea for fear of it all being taken away again. I wish I could hibernate for the next seven weeks.
Fookie
Funnybird!!!!!! Congratulations. How amazingly wonderful. I'm so glad I logged on tonight! Wee-haw!

Zelda, I am totally shocked and dismayed at that story of your student. I have thought about the randomness of it often since you posted. I can't believe that happened. How could her mom ever predicted that would have happened? Totally scary in so many ways. I'm so sorry. I am so pleased though, that Ponyo is kicking his little heart out for you.

Ellen. Congrats. I also love the name Elsie. Such great news!

Cristine, I'm your woman if you have questions about stimulated IUI. Not sure which way you're planning on going, but I've gone through just about everything possible with the medicated IUIs. I hope you end up with a lovely Zelda-surprise before you even having to go that route smile.gif

Michelina ... I'm so sorry your SIL is a jerkass. What a total twit. Any apology or contact from her since your brother talked to her about her insensitivity? I have three sister in laws and they're all weird. I could picture any one of them doing exactly the same thing. You know, the inner evil in me, would get some satisfaction out of knowing that she will likely feel mortified when you do stay with them in Calgary. And I have no problem admitting that that would please the monster inside of my brain smile.gif Don't let her stupidness get in the way of your plans and dreams.

Everyone else, I'm sorry if I'm missing anything huge. I've been lurking and I've lost track of all the news since I last posted.

Not much new with me. Our adoption stuff is moving along at a snails pace. Our homestudy is still short a couple of documents that we have no control over. Our practitioner is hoping they come in by end of week. She said that last week too. Sigh. Hard to get too annoyed about it though b/c we've got such a big wait ahead of us anyway.

Oscars are starting smile.gif Have a good night.
nickclick
OMG Funnybird! Whoooo hooooooo! terrific news indeed. it took us a few days to feel celebratory, thinking it would jinx it somehow. hope you are ready to celebrate soon.

3 more days until we go to the doctor for the first visit. tick tock.

hang in there, fookie.
yumyum
Oh my- there's so much going on around here! Where do I start?

Ellen- Congratulations to you! I'm so glad to hear that you and baby Elsie are doing well.

Funnybird- Congratulations on your pregnancy!!!! I'm thrilled for you. I hope the next 7 weeks moves fast so that you can relax-first trimester was nerve wracking for me too. Such great news!

zelda- I'm so sorry to hear about your student- what a terrible, tragic thing to happen. As for easing your mind about your little guy's movements, I wish I could help you, but my baby has strange patterns of activity so I've had anxiety off and on since I first started feeling him/her. For instance, baby will move quite a bit for 2 or 3 days and then be very quiet for the next few days. Now I'm at the stage where baby is getting too big to move to much, so I'm trying to keep that in mind...

Michelina- SILs can be really weird. Go ahead with your plans and try not to think about her- you don't want to give her any more space in your thoughts than she deserves. I definitely think that limited contact for awhile would be a good idea. I'm thinking about you, and sending positive energy your way.

Christine- I forget, has Mr. Christine already done a SA?

Fookie- It's good to hear from you. I bet it does feel like time is dragging, but look how far you've come!

As for me, I'm doing well. We had our shower last weekend- it was lovely and so nice to be in a room full of family and friends, some of which I hadn't seen in a few years. I am now at 36 weeks. Yikes. Sometimes I feel very calm about the upcoming birth, but last night I felt a jolt of something akin to terror at the thought that I will be going into labor fairly soon. I also feel like I have a ton of things to do to prepare, but very little time or energy.
I have closets to clean/organize, the nursery to finish, baby clothes to wash and put away, baby gear to assemble, car seats to install, a bag to pack, and the list goes on... Not that I'm feeling overwhelmed or anything blink.gif
zelda
More later, but I HAD to pop in and say....Woo hoo, Funnybird!!!! I am so excited for you!! That is so awesome.

I know after all you and AB have been through this past year or so, this is the best possible news.

Don't let the lack of symptoms scare you...I was essentially symptom free (not counting my anxiety attacks, which could be a symptom hormonally) for almost the entire first trimester. No nausea, no sore boobs (ever!), nothing. The only thing I had was the anxiety (which was bad, I will grant you), bad gas, and pimples. And that was IT. Oh, and a craving for red meat.

CONGRATULATIONS FUNNYBIRD!!!!!!! I am so so so very happy for you.
funnybird
Thanks for all the congratulations folks! I'm officially 5 weeks today, and the hours and minutes are crawling by. I feel like I'm on an extension of the TWW, with the same sense of being in limbo, and I donít like it! I want to feel excitement and joy rather than anxiety. Iím seeing my GP next Friday, and Iím wondering if I can persuade her to refer me for an early scan.

Yum yum, I'm sure you'll get everything done! But you know that even if you don't - even if your closets are disorganised and the nursery doesn't get finished on time - everything will be just fine. Iím very excited for you.

Michelina, I have to confess Iíd share Fookieís pleasure at the idea of your SIL squirming a bit. I really hope she at least learns a lesson about tact from this episode. I think another IUI this cycle sounds like a good plan - at least itís another opportunity to check up on Mr Mís sperm. Oh, and I also know someone who has taken antidepressants throughout two pregnancies. She now has a healthy two-year old and a perfect newborn. Your emotional health is the most important thing right now.

Fookie, sorry to hear things are dragging a bit. Perhaps it feels that way because everything moved so fast to begin with? I hope you get to see your practitioner this week.
jenny_dreadful
Funnybird!!!!!!! Congratulations!!!!!! What totally fabulous news, I am so so delighted for you and Architect Boy. I hope you can get an early scan, I'm sure you will be able to but if your GP for any reason won't refer you for one you could consider doing it privately through a company like <a href="http://www.babybond.com/early-pregnancy-scan.php">BabyBond</a>. They can do it at 7 weeks and a friend of mine had the early pregnancy scan when she conceived after suffering a miscarriage. I'm not sure where in London you are but they have centres across town, I went to the one in Norbury to have a 4D scan. Wonderful news. I hope the next 7 weeks pass as quickly as possible for you and you can leave the anxiety-ridden 1st trimester behind you.

Yumyum - 36 weeks I can't believe it! I hear you on the waves of anxiety, I constantly felt like I hadn't studied for an exam during those last few weeks of pregnancy and it is so overwhelming. I don't want to add to your anxiety, but my advice is pack your bag sooner rather than later. My friend went into labour at 36 weeks and 5 days and recounts tales of her husband peeling off the packaging on baby vests and scratch mitts to stuff into her labour bag as she timed her contractions. She found herself in hospital with no clothes to come home in. As long as you have a crib or something similar for the baby to sleep in when you come home, a car seat to bring him/her home from hospital in and some clothes to put him/her in, you'll be fine.

Ellen, huge congrats on the safe arrival of baby Elsie, well done you! What a lovely name.

Zelda, so sorry to hear about your student, how utterly dreadful.

Apehelendra, good luck for your 20 week scan! It's such a milestone.

Love to all in the Lounge, sorry this is a short post, Archie will be awake for his lunchtime feed soon. He is 11 weeks old now and weighs 12lbs! He looks like a real baby now, not a newborn, and is smiling and laughing and cooing and generally being a delight. We are off to our second baby massage lesson this afternoon, he loves it!
aphelendra
Hello all!

Hope everyone is well, and am thinking of you all.

Just had our 20 week scan. Its a GIRL!!!!!!!!! Mr. is thrilled, he has been hoping for a little lady smile.gif. Everything appears healthy, despite a small scare.

We were told she was in less then the 3-5 percentile for size, which is really really tiny, and that we would have to come back for another scan in four weeks to make sure that she was still growing. Two hours later, the office called back and said that the u/s tech had used the gestational of 38 weeks in calculating her size. Obviously, my twenty week old fetus did not measure where she was supposed to. Using the correct gestational age she is actually in the 60th percentile. (Although, my weight is about appropriate for 38 weeks, ha ha.)

Harumph. They were a scary two hours, but we are glad all turned out well.

Awaiting good news from all the first trimester-ers, TTCers, and adopters!

Glad to hear Archie is doing well and has entered the lovely cherubic stage of babyhood, I bet he's a cutie.

Zelda and yumyum, I'm jealous you guys are so much closer than me. 20 more weeks????? I'm pooped.

Night all!
funnybird
Aphelendra Ė congratulations on your girl! Sorry to hear about the scare. Phew! That was a pretty huge mistake on the part of the sonographer. If itís any comfort, I bet he/she feels rather stupid and guilty for frightening you!

Jenny, Archie sounds so gorgeous. Thank you for your reassuring words and scan advice. I need it, as Iím really struggling with the anxiety monster at the moment.

Iím completely fixated with the possibility of losing this pregnancy, and time just seems to be dragging so slowly. I think Iíll be a hysterical wreck by the time I get to see my GP next week (if Iím still pregnant by then). I hate knowing that it could all go wrong again and thereís nothing I can do to stop it. I wish I had some more symptoms Ė although wishing for some serious, head-down-the-toilet puking rather than mild queasiness makes me sound crazy doesnít it?

Tell me how youíre all getting along, lovely Busties, and help me take my mind off things.
nickclick
yay aphelendra and your baby girl !!!!!!

funnybird, i know how you feel about the fear of losing the pregnancy. it's making what i always thought would be a time of celebration and excitement a time of anxiety. once we get through the 1st trimester, we should feel more confident. right, bustie 2nd and 3rd-tri and moms?

what other symptoms do you have? mild cramps? fatigue? bloating? sore boobs? maybe not as dramatic as a puke fest (thankfully) but good signs nonetheless.

we went to my first OB visit yesterday and all went well (although mr.nick was a little twitchy during my pelvic exam). mostly she threw tons of information at us, but i'm taking it one step at a time. i made an appt for a ultrasound next week and will make an appt for my first blood tests for next week as well.

i was happy that she wasn't pushy about amnio or many other non-state mandated tests, especially given my age (34). and she's in a practice with 2 male OBs, all of whom will possibly deliver, depending who is on call. i don't know how comfortable i am with that, but i will meet each of them at subsequent visits and hold my opinion until then.
zelda
Nickclick, I'm glad your appt. went well...my OB office is different in that you stick with your doctor the entire time, and there's a 90 % chance he or she will be the one to deliver you. Truth be told I've often been told it's really the nurse who delivers you and the doctor is there to catch the baby (haha)...it will all work out. Also, remember there is nothing that says you can't change practices. Two of my friends changed OB practices midway through their pregnancies for different reasons.

Funnybird, I will tell you that the first trimester is full of anxiety. Full of it. And I wish I could find some magic way to help you feel more comfortable. Given your past m/c, I think it is only natural your anxiety is heightened. I will tell you that the anxiety of losing the pregnancy does fade and go away with time, to be replaced by different worries. (Is he healthy? Is he moving enough?) But nothing really compares to th at first few weeks when it all seems so tenuous.

One thing that helped me was having a private little celebration with each week that passed. With each week, I gained more confidence. I don't think the anxiety of losing the pregnancy was truly gone until 11 weeks when my doctor heard the heartbeat and told me we were free to tell the world I was expecting.

One tip...I stopped looking when I wiped after going to the bathroom, on advice of my therapist. This is a practical tip that did help.

Aphelendra, so happy for your girl and so mad at that ultrasound tech! I hope she gets a serious talking to!

Woops...bell rang to begin school...got to go!
aphelendra
Funnybird - My nausea didn't start until I was about six weeks, and I wasn't in full on puke-iness until a bit after that. I think it's totally normal to not "feel pregnant" at this point, and some ladies don't ever feel preggers during the first tri and go on to have healthy little bubs!

That being said, I understand the uncertainty. I also lost my first pregnancy very early, and the second time around was so difficult for us . . . . I wish I could make time faster for ya . . . . The thing I held onto was the fact that so so so so so so many women have a miscarriage and then go on to have healthy, successful pregnancies. I opened up to people I was close to and was surprised to find that a ton of the women in my life had the same experience, and went on to have kiddos.

And to Nick, yes it will get better. Like Zelda says, you will have new worries (and plenty of 'em!), but at least now I am confident that the odds are in my favor that I'm going to get to meet this baby.

As for the amnio, we opted to do a neuchal fold scan at 12 weeks, which was just an u/s and a blood draw (from me, not buggo). They measure a pouch of fluid on the back of baby's neck and compare the measurements to the gestational age, and it gives a good indicator of whether baby is at risk for down's, trisomy 18, and spina bifida. If the risk comes back low, then an amnio usually isn't indicated. (hope that wasn't another slew of info gettin' thrown at ya).

Zelda - I'm jealous you know who's going to be delivering you! I'm gonna end up with whoever is on call from my practice that day. I like almost all the docs, except for my former main doc, who told us a while back that I was way too young to have endometriosis . . . . . shmuk. Tell that to the ovary that's fused to my abdominal wall. Sigh. It's going to be interesting if he delivers us, every time we see him in the office I have to drag a fuming Mr. away as he mutters about how he's gonna give him a piece of his mind . . . .

Anyways, hope everyone else is well . . . . and thanks for all the congrats!

zelda
And Funny...just so you know, I never had morning sickness ever. In fact, I remember at my 9 and 11 week check ups telling my doctor I did not feel pregnant at all. At ALL. Trust me...that will change. TRUST ME. Talk to me at 28 weeks when your back hurts and you can't sleep for an hour at a time without peeing! The feeling pregnant thing will come with time. :-)

luleey
hello all...haven't busted in ages but recently found out I'm probably pregnant (have an appt w my ob/gyn next week to confirm) and hope to gain and share info on this thread! thanks in advance for all your knowledge!

does anyone by any chance have a cat and know the risks of litter scooping/toxoplasmosis during pregnancy? i have two and usually scoop their boxes daily and clean them out fully every few weeks. i read you can try wearing gloves and mask, or just hand the task off to another person for the duration...any advice? i'm a little freaked out because it looks like i'm at least several weeks along and i've been blithely doing all sorts of things pregnant ladies shouldn't do...including being the resident poop scoop. whoops.

anyways, like i said, really appreciate this thread and all you all have to offer...and i hope we can all help each other enjoy our pregnancies to the max! funnybird, i too feel like i may be jumping the gun and of course there are a million things that can go wrong before the 1st trimester but...i also want to make sure i'm being safe too, so i feel your anxiety! hang in there, everyone, and thanks again!

luleey
zelda
Luleey, congrats! If your cats are strictly indoor and you have been around them for a long time, the odds are very good you are safe, but you should probably still use gloves and a mask if there isn't anyone else who can clean the litter box for you. Another possibility is to get yourself tested for immunity to toxoplasmosis (which you almost certainly already have if you've been around cats a lot in your life). I think you can also get the cats tested to see if they are carriers (but you should call your vet).

I, too, changed the litter (and drank, and took medication) before I knew I was pregnant. Very early on the embryo is not even drawing much nutrition from you but from its own yolk sac, so the risk is minimal. I don't know anyone who gave birth who didn't drink or do something "wrong" before she knew she was pregnant. Ideally, you should stop scooping litter or take precautions, but the truth is women drank, smoked, changed litter boxes, ate soft cheeses and tuna, etc. for years and years with few negative consequences. In our liability obsessed world, I think the docs stress these regulations to keep away lawsuits...but that's just my cynical self talking!

Hope this helps. Check out What to Expect When You're Expecting or the Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy. Both are great and chock full of info on these kinds of questions.
aphelendra
luuley - Welcome!

And to answer your queries (and echo Zelda a bit), I wouldn't worry about past exposure to the litter box. A few weeks before we conceived we hand raised an orphaned kitten (seriously, are there sadder things in the world than mommy-less baby cats?), which included not only bottle feeding the little bugger, but also "stimulating" him to eliminate. Needless to say, I came into contact with quite a bit of cat pee/poop.

The doc was not worried, and said that I almost certainly had immunity to toxoplasmosis because I grew up around cats, and sure enough, my blood test showed that my worry was all for naught.

Also, again echoing Zelda, there is no shared blood supply to the embryo until about 6 weeks, at which point the umbilical cord is still considered "rudimentary" and much of baby's nutrition still comes from the yolk sac. I wouldn't stress about anything that's happened until this point!!!

good luck, and I'm glad to see a fresh face! I'm sure you'll find much info and support around here, just like I have
funnybird
Luleey, congratulations and welcome! I hold my hand up to drinking two very stiff gin & tonics and a cup of coffee the day before I found out I was pregnant - so convinced was I that I wasn't. It's one thing that I'm NOT going to worry about though! How far along do you think you are?

Well, I'm pleased to report that I feel queasy and light headed this morning, and I went to bed at 9.30 last night because I was so tired I was about to collapse and sleep where I landed. My boobs are quite tender, and I have been cramping on and off (plus that stitch-like feeling which I guess is just abdominal ligaments stretching). I think maybe if I can make it past the point where things went wrong last time I might feel better (spotting started at 5 weeks 5 days, full on miscarriage at 6 weeks).

Today I have the distraction of cooking dinner for 6, plus cleaning the flat (AB invited some of our friends round for the evening, then made plans to be out all day. dry.gif ). Oh well, should keep my mind off things at least!

Aphelendra, I have a mental image of you trying to give birth while your Mr and the bad doc have a punch-up in the corner...
luleey
Thank you Funny...I appreciate your reply!! And Zelda, I'm going to check out some books and sites this weekend!

Well...I'm going to the Dr on Thursday so hopefully I'll find out where exactly I am with my term, but based on my rough judgement (I apparently caught pregnant RIGHT after going off the pill, which I totally did not expect and had been warned bu friends and GP doesn't often happen) I could be even 7 weeks along. Which at first made me ecstatic, then terrified because like you I'd been insisting I wasn't pregnant, just having weird hormone issues and God-awful PMS symptoms as my body got used to being on its own cycle again. Which of course led me to baby myself with all my favorite vices. Turns out...not so much.

But, I'm going to let me Dr. know that I had been completely oblivious and had been going about my life as usual instead of being more conscientious, and cross my fingers that I'm maybe not as far along as I thought or...somehow, everything will be alright.

I'm with you on the cramping and intermitten nausea...the raging nausea I started experiencing a week ago was my first clue, thank goodness. It's subsided some. Funny, I'll cross my fingers for your little one to stay put and for you to start soon experiencing the gorgeous glow of a full-term pregnancy! Glad you got some rest and have a "productive" day ahead of you...Zelda, thanks so much for your advice and experience too! It puts my mind to rest some, and my husband just keeps telling me not to worry and to talk to the gynie about my fears. Anyway, stress isn't a good thing either! Thanks all and keep me posted on what's going on!!
yumyum
First off, congrats on your scan and little girl aphelendra- that's wonderful news!!!!

Funny- I didn't start to feel any real pregnancy symptoms until about 7 weeks, when the nausea set in. Other than that I had some menstrual cramp-type feelings. Once the nausea started, it continued in intensity until it peaked at about 12 or 14 weeks, and was completely gone by about week 16. Sweet relief!

Nickclick- I was definitely guarded about the pregnancy during the first trimester. It did get better for me, but throughout my pregnancy (I'll be at 37 weeks tomorrow), I've had serious moments of anxiety. I can say that each test that came back with good results and each normal OB appointment helped me to feel calmer about things.
Michelina
Luleey, welcome and congrats!

Aphelendra, a girl! So exciting! I'm so sorry that you got a scare during your scan. That technologist made a huge error. Inexcusable. Happy to hear all is well.

I am probably going to just pop by the board now and then. There is really not much going on for us now. Referrals have been sent for IVF now so it's just the waiting game now. We will likely go to the centre that gets us in first. That way the decision isn't ours to make.

My brother and SIL have not made any contact with me at all. I am so hurt - and the longer they wait, the more awkward it will be. All it would have taken was an "I'm sorry to hear your news" and it would be fine. I am so angry at both of them. I feel like I am being shunned because we are infertile. Not cool at all. Thankfully everyone else in my life has been wonderful.
funnybird
Michelina, I'm so sorry that you feel so hurt by your brother and SIL's behaviour. I think that they probably feel incredibly awkward - especially SIL, and she has good reason to! - and just don't know know what to say. It seems more likely that their motivation is cowardice rather than spite, but it still doesn't make it excusable. I feel like I can understand a little of where you are coming from - when I found out that our siblings knew about my miscarriage from our parents, but hadn't said anything to me I felt hurt, like no one would do me the courtesy of acknowledging what I'd been through. It was, of course, because they didn't know WHAT to say, or whether mentioning would hurt me more than not, but the result was that I felt as if I was carrying a shameful burden that must not be expressed.

Could you bring yourself to maybe send them an e-mail or letter, explaining that you find the news of their pregnancy difficult (especially the manner in which you were told) but that you'd rather be open about your situation and would appreciate their support?

I'm glad to hear that everyone else is being great at least. Are you still going to have IUI this cycle? Has it already happened?
aphelendra
Michelina - Although you won't be posting as often, know I am still thinking of you and hoping for positive things, as I'm sure all the other ladies here will be.

I'm glad the pressure of deciding where to go for IVF has been lifted, and the decision taken out of your hands.

And I agree with funny, I think cowardice is to blame for the lack of contact from your SIL and brother. It's not excusable and they need to apologize. I can understand the feeling that you are being ostracized right now, infertility is a very isolating experience. But I don't think this is the reason they haven't called, I really think they are just too ashamed or don't know how to fix the situation (although I'm sure a simple sorry would do nicely!).

Good luck, and we hope to be hearing your good news soon . . . .
nickclick
Michelina, count me in for those positive thoughts for sure. ~~~~~Michelina~~~~~

welcome luleey! and good luck on thursday. let us know how it all goes. i second zelda's book suggestions. i've read What to Expect and found it helpful and easy to reference. a couple of girlfriends found the Mayo Clinic book more reassuring. anyway, seems both are worth checking out.

thanks yumyum, i look forward to each dr. visit bringing more confidence. we go tomorrow for the 1st u/s and i'll be happy to see/hear more good news.

i did see some blood this morning after a poo. i'll call it a big spot - kinda of a good amount on the tp, but there hasn't been any more all day. that, and all the flooded road detours from this weekend's heavy rain sent me right back to work from home. i felt extra hormone-y this morning too, like everything was so annoying and i just couldn't deal. poor mr.nick - he's a teacher so he turns his phone off during the work day, but this afternoon he'll hear a long whiny message about how i saw blood and i don't know where i am and he needs to buy me a GPS. ah well, i guess he needs to get used it.....
luleey
Just a quick post to thank everyone for the welcome wishes and send good, healing thoughts to Michelina and Nickclick...I'm speed reading the Our Bodies Ourslves Pregnancy book and the What to Eat When You're Expecting, and so far they're helpful.

<<<pregnant busties!>>>

funnybird
Nickclick, how did your scan go?
nickclick
terrific, thanks for asking! we saw the peanut, it's where it's supposed to be, doing what's it's supposed to do, and all on schedule. 7 1/2 weeks. due date - halloween. we love halloween! which means it could come as early as our anniversary (10/25) or as late as 11/11. we have a weird thing with 1's..... our first house was 11 __ st. and our house now is at 111 ___ st.

anyway, phew! yesterday was just about the worst day with the blood and hormones and rain and terrible workday. and today, the sun is shining here in NJ. i feel like this is really happening now. and i want to tell everyone!

funnybird, how are you feeling?
funnybird
That's fantastic news nickclick - I'm so happy for you! A Halloween baby is very cool - he-or-she will always be assured of having the most awesome birthday parties! My (self-calculated) due date is November 10th, so I'm right behind you.

I'm six weeks today, so I've made it further than last time. My breasts are still sore, and I'm starting to feel nauseous on occasion, mostly when I'm tired. I'm worried that I'm getting used to the idea of this baby, when I've been trying my hardest to stay detached until I'm sure things are going to be okay. But "hope doesn't make bad things happen", right?

How's everyone else doing?
zelda
Michelina, I echo what everyone said about your brother and SIL. Frankly, I really can't understand their behavior, and I think you should do whatever YOU need to do to feel good about this situation. I really, really hope you keep coming here to update us. I'm also glad that IVF is, in a sense, out of your hands. I have such good hopes and feelings for you and IVF. By the way, my dear friend's older sister just delivered healthy twins she conceived with IVF. Just found out yesterday and am so happy for her.

Nickclick, woo hoo on the good first u/s! I remember that first one and what a feeling of relief it was to see that peanut moving around. A Halloween baby would be so fun.

Funny, your symptoms sound promising! Don't be worried if they wax and wane. That is common, too early on (and even later on!). I know how hard it is not to get attached, but for every day that passes, I think it is only natural to get more attached. I also think it's natural to struggle with that attachment because of your m/c the first time. All I can say is hang in there and enjoy every day you can cross off the calendar.

I managed to put together the changing table today! I've also washed all the baby clothes in Dreft and put them away in the dresser. Slowly but surely things are starting to come together. I still feel overwhelmed by everything that has to happen before this baby comes, but ultimately I know that no matter what, we'll be able to get the most important things done before he arrives.

I admit as the due date nears, my anxiety about something going wrong increases. I find myself checking his movement all the time...today I had a bit of indigestion and panicked over that. Oh, I just want him to get here safe and sound!!!

aphelendra
Yay Nick!!!!! So glad everything is looking good. And your due date is my date of conception . . . . hooray for halloween!

funnybird - increasing symptoms means increasing HCG/progesterone, has to be a good sign! I definitely agree on the rest/nausea situation, mine was always worse when I was tired. I wish I could tell you if you got a good night's rest every night it would keep the queasies away entirely, but sadly . . . .

Zelda - Glad everything is coming together. Must have been fun to wash and fold all those teeny tiny witsy bitsy baby clothes.

As for us, we are moving along. Registered for birth class, the first class is being held on the day of my birthday, thought that would be a fun way to celebrate.

For anyone who's interested, but not too squeamish, I just started Push, by Jennifer Block, a critique of modern maternity care in the US (sending jealous vibes to the UK ladies and their low c-section rates and infrequent use of pitocin . . .). It's a bit (okay a lot) frightening, but I'm glad I'm reading it nonetheless, although perhaps it would have been a less nerve-wracking read when I wasn't expecting.

Of the three ladies I know who gave birth last year, all three had labors that ended up involving pitocin at some point, which puzzles me to say the least. Three out of three???? Not one of these ladies could deliver without augmenting labor??? One ended up "needing" a c-section but later was told that she probably could have delivered vaginally eventually.

Hmmmmm. . . . . .

I'm almost thinking of switching docs, if possible at this point. I'm not sure my practice is on the same page as me. I'm thinking I might be more comfortable delivering in a hospital, but with a midwife instead of a physician as my primary support . . . .

Ay. Too much to think about before bed.




Michelina
Nickclick, that is great news! What a relief to see your bean! Halloween is a great time to be born - especially considering you guys are such fans.

Funnybird, I am very hopeful for you and am thinking of you. I have a great feeling about this pregnancy. I definitely can see why you are hesitant, though. That's only normal. Just don't beat yourself up over it.

As for me, my brother called me shortly after I posted. He didn't acknowledge my email until I brought it up. He then said that I should just be happy that we can do IVF. From the way he was talking, you would think it was no big deal and it guarantees a pregnancy. I tried to explain to him that it is no guarantee and that we are very sad that this is our reality. I had to actually insist that he say he was sorry to hear our news. He did eventually, but still qualified it with a "but you have the option of IVF." Grrr. Anyway, he is my bro (and a guy - not wanting to be sexist, but I don't think that there is always the same level of understanding) and at least he called.

The SIL has made NO contact at all with me. We used to email often so this is an unusual absence. All she needs to do is acknowledge that this is hard, and all would be better. I was happy for her about her news. The least she could do is express a little sympathy for mine.

Thanks for everyone's kind words and advice. It has been very hepful. I will definitely be lurking and coming by to offer the congrats that is in the near future. I will keep you guys posted too.

Cristine, how are you? I think of you often.
nickclick
thanks everyone for the well wishes! i go for my first blood work tomorrow morning.

funny, when to you go for your first u/s? although i still feel weary about excitement, i really do feel more secure now.

Michelina, good to hear from you. and even though it wasn't perfect, it's good that you and your brother had a conversation. maybe he'll think twice before speaking in future conversations about the topic.

zelda... tiny clothes! what fun!

aphelendra, what is your due date? will you be comfortable with someone you may have little time to get to know before delivery? have you looked into using a midwife already? if not, it seems worth meeting one and comparing to your current practice. also, speak with your current doc about your concerns. i mean, i'm sure you have, but reiterate. see why and when they decide to induce labor and perform a c-section.

luleey
hi ladies! just got my first u/s and photogs of the...i guess "bean" is a good word for it! i found out i am at 8 weeks tomorrow. i think i'm going to start breaking the news to family but wait awhile with friends and colleagues...

nick, our anniversary is on halloween!! how cool if that's your due date! mine may well be around that same time...

keep thinking positive, funny, and we'll be thinking good thoughts about your little one! thanks for all the support so far, all of you.
zelda
Congrats, Luleey! Sounds like you and Nickclick are going to be delivering around the same time. How exciting.

I committed the ultimate pregnant lady sin tonight...I ate a pint of Ben and Jerry's in an hour...and I paid for it later with indigestion of the highest order!!! Had the runs. I feel bad for the baby even though I know it doesn't bother him. But it bothered ME.

Oooff....must be good tomorrow!!

I am 29 weeks today. 11 weeks and counting. Unbelievable.
funnybird
Congratulations Luleey! That's great news.

I saw my GP this morning, and she was very sympathetic. She was understanding about my anxiety, but reassured me that statistically it's very unlikely that I'll miscarry again. She's going to try and get an early scan for me in the next week or two. I filled in the forms to get free prescriptions and dental care during my pregnancy, and if I make it to 24 weeks I get a £190 grant towards buying healthy food. I looovvve my 'socialist' healthcare system!

I got myself into a bit of a state earlier because my breasts don't feel as tender as they did yesterday. Then I started dry-heaving on the tube to work (nice!) so I guess that's a good sign. Or else I'm just making myself sick with worry.

Zelda, just blame Elliott/Ponyo for any overindulgence! I've started doing that already - I snatched a packet of chocolate biscuits from under Architect Boy's nose, and when he gave me a look I told him "the tadpole wants a biscuit!".
zelda
Free prescriptions and dental care?! A grant toward healthy food?!??

Yesterday, I paid $40 for a refill of my prenantals (for only a month's supply...and that's WITH insurance) and paid my copay for my dental exam (only $5, but I pay a premium all year long).

Sigh....this is one jealous American.

Funny, it's going to be okay. Your symptoms are promising and they DO wax and wane, I promise you. You may go an entire week without "feeling" pregnant at all! Good vibes to you, Funny!
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