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aphelendra
Mmmmmm . . . . . Ben and Jerry's . . . . . I think you're allowed a few bad food decisions along the way. And congrats on being so close to the finish line Zelda!

Luleey, I believe congratulations are in order as well. Happy to hear your bean is on track and growing well! And I can't tell ya how many times I've snatched some food item from Mr., only to solemnly inform him that "the baby needs it. you don't want her to have it?" wink.gif heh heh.

Funny, don't fret about the lack of sore boobs. For most of my first trimester, my symptoms were raging out of control. But several times they utterly disappeared, for several days each time. I mean, there was absolutely nothing going on. No nausea, no sore boobs, no gas, no heartburn, no nothing. Each time I would freak out, and each time the symptoms would return. Looking back, I should have just relaxed and enjoyed it, seeing as I was so miserably sick the rest of the time.

p.s. you got room for me and hubs, three dogs, a cat, and our little girl? I want in on your 'socialist' healthcare system!

Nick, I'm due at the end of July (which sometimes feels like tomorrow and sometimes feels a million years away), but my current doc is new to me anyways. I've been jumping around for the last two years, trying to find someone who could deal effectively with my endometriosis. Which, frighteningly enough, most OB/GYNs cannot. You would think most gynecologists would be familiar with a disease that affects the female reproductive organs, but unfortunately it's a very misunderstood disease. mad.gif

I had finally found a lady who I felt was knowledgeable, and even personally knew the very knowledgeable surgeon who diagnosed me, only to find out she no longer attends deliveries. So I got shunted to the doc in her practice who was "most tolerant" of natural childbirth, whatever the frak that means.

I think I'm going to wait to talk to my birth class instructor next week, hopefully she will have some good advice as to how to proceed.

Have you/or any of the other ladies given any more thought to your births yet??? I'd love to hear what everyone else is planning. Especially Ms. Luleey, I think we share a hometown smile.gif.

Thanks for providing a place to let my anxieties leak ladies. It's much appreciated.

Hope everyone continues to feel well . . . .

Ms. Christine, how is the IUI proceeding?

aphelendra
Michelina - wanted to quickly add my sympathies over the IVF situation. After our diagnosis, I can't tell you how many friends, family, and even physicians told us to wait to have kids because "we could always just do IVF later on".
ARG! Few people really understand what that means physically, financially, and emotionally.

Even though I'm sure you're grateful to know there are more options should you choose to proceed, it is totally ok to grieve the fact that conception was/is difficult, and that you have to move on to IVF.

Stay strong and hopeful
luleey
Jeezly Crow Funnybird. If you continue to tell us about your health care system I'm going to get so jealous my bean will probably wonder why my heart is palpitating and I'm breathing so heavily!! Seriously. Don't even get me started on the healthcare system we got in these here parts. Thats a different discussion thread. tongue.gif

I just had a freak out as I realized, stupidly, that the gyne I chose does not deliver at the hospital I had in mind. Apparently the one she does deliver at is very good, but it's in a crummy neighborhood and that kind of pisses me off. Plus I've been wanting to explore the midwife/homebirth option, but I know if I go that route my mother will freak out on me (she had a lot of pregnancy and birth complications) and I will not hear the end of it the entire pregancy. Plus, she is getting over a long-term illness and I don't want to aggravate her recovery. So I'm torn between wanting what I want and what other people want...or convention says is what I want.

My SIL had both her kids at home, with a midwife or a doula (I can't remember which) in a birthing tub. Her last birth took 3 days though, which for me would be pretty scary, but she made it and has a totally healthy toddler now.

I'm probably worrying needlessly and need to relax and let the experts do their thing...and just enjoy my present state...but that is just my personality I guess. Aphelendra, do we really share a hometown? Or close to it? That would rock!

Anyways, have a nice and restful weekend everyone...and don't sweat the Ben and Jerry's, I ate a bunch of it the other night! It was delish and I have no regrets!!!
zelda
In theory, I would love to have an unmedicated home birth, but the truth of it is, I am just too paranoid for that and I know too many women who had birthing troubles...even my BFF who delivered with a midwife (in a hospital) had to have an emergency C-section, and you know the midwife wouldn't have suggested that unless it was really necessary.

I am trying to remain open-minded about my birth because the bottom line is no one knows how their body will react until it's time. I've been told I have "birthing" hips, and my mom gave birth to three babies totally naturally (in a hospital), but every woman and every pregnancy is different.

I feel like I'm going to go in there with a desire to have the most natural childbirth possible, but if I have to have an epidural, so be it. I don't know if this is wise or not, but ultimately, my main focus is on getting Elliott here and healthy. I've known some women who have gone through depression after birth partly because their birth plan was not fulfilled or they had to have an epidural and didn't think they'd want one or a C-section when they didn't want one, etc.

I don't want to sound like I'm going to just put myself in the hands of the doctors and give up all autonomy, but I do really like my doctor a LOT and I know she is an advocate of natural birth as well as being pragmatic and understanding. So I figure I am going to trust her to do her job and I will remain open-minded and focus on the goal - getting my baby here healthy.

I am excited about the hospital I will be giving birth at...it's the only one in the city that offers family centered labor and delivery. They don't take the baby away after it's born - you room in and all examinations, check ups and consultations take place in your room with you and the baby. To me, that's more important than the birth. I don't want him taken away for hours if it's not necessary.

Aphelendra, I hope you get some good advice from your birthing coach and make sure you find a practice and doctor you like for the birth...I think that makes such a big difference!

I had this flip out tonight...I was at a party and asked a midwife I know there why you can't sleep on your back when you're pregnant. She said it is because it can cut off oxygen to the baby and also make you lightheaded.

When I went to the dentist yesterday, I was essentially on my back for 45 minutes while they cleaned my teeth. I sort of panicked internally, but when I got home I checked What to Expect which said it is perfectly okay if you end up on your back once in a while, not to fret. Besides, Elliott has been moving like a crazy kid all day today, so I figure he was okay!

Worry is the work of pregnancy...
nickclick
so true, zelda! everything you read and hear is about how to NOT stress during pregnancy. seems like it's all i do anymore! but you should not stress about B&J's... what a wonderful way to indulge...mmmm.....

i'm not quite at creating a birthing plan yet, but i may have a similar philosophy as yours. a home birth may cause me more worry, especially because it's my first. but i'm going to investigate more and maybe it won't seem so scary as i learn more. at the same time, i only know of one friend who did home birth and lots of friends who delivered in hospital, both vaginally and c-section. i'm usually comforted by hearing stories as such. and my hospital has family rooms as you describe, which comforts me as well.

luleey, congrats on the good u/s and i'm happy to hear we're on the same timeline! halloween babies!

we're going to tell mr.nick's fam tomorrow at dinner (already told my parents). then i dunno. after the u/s i finally felt excited and i'm ready to tell some friends. but stupid facebook, you know???!?!?? i don't want it to accidentally leak until the 1st trimester is over. did everyone wait to go public after the 1st tri?

aphelendra, let us know how goes the advice from your birth class instructor. good idea.

funnybird, that is good news from your doc. and some great healthcare! i'm afraid to go to the pharmacy after my prenatal free samples run out, in like a week.

Michelina
Thanks, Nickclick and Aphelendra.

Just popping in because I forgot to update you about my latest IUI. Numbers and motility were MUCH better and we got 12 million in. I triggered with HCG, which was my first experience giving myself a shot. It was a little daunting, but not too bad. Triggering means that ovulation happens 36 hours later - gave us much more time to make our plans for the IUI. Hence, the better numbers. (I really think that Mr. M was stressed and rushed last time.) His count was 20 million / mL - the bare minimum of normal based on the WHO, but still borderline low and about 1/3 the average male's count. But he did well, and we were happy just with that. Not getting my hopes up, but am more optimistic than I have been lately.

I saw my fam doctor last week about my anxiety and insomnia. She wrote a prescription for Ativan for when I have attacks and cannot sleep. She said if I think I need something daily, she will put me on Zoloft. She is wonderful and senstitive, and I am very lucky to have such a caring doctor.

Back to lurking...
pepper
Oh man, I let the news out as soon as I knew. I am no good at waiting on stuff like that, I mean HOW? When it's all you can think about it's impossible to just bottle it all up and not let it leak out somehow. But I can totally understand not wanting to hear or feel anyone else's negativity during that time. I remember someone making a comment to me when I told her I was knocked up about how "most people wait until after the first trimester in case they lose the baby you know" and I just about smacked her. I mean, what a thing to say to someone who's just told you they are newly pregnant! Doesn't get much more insensitive than that. I'm always amazed at what boners people can be. So ya, sometimes (or from some people) keeping it a secret isn't such a terrible idea.
luleey
Thanks for all the feedback...yes, it occurred to me that while I am a very short, slender person everyone in my husband's family is super tall and stout...and he was his mom's smallest baby at over 9 pounds. So...I have to brace myself for the possibility of C-section if I end up with a giant baby. Or, if it's a breech like I was. But we decided to do some hospital tours and look into midwifes and other Dr's as well to see if we can find the right fit and the right place for our birth.

Yeah, and I had to make everyone in the fam promise not to tell...OR post anything on facebook! Sheesh, people, it's my news!!! Don't blab it to the world just yet fer cryin' out loud!

Another question that came up today as I was cleaning house...probably shouldn't be inhaling bleach-y chemicals and whatnot, but what do you all do when it comes time to scrub the tub and disinfect the kitch? My cats get into everything, and I don't want raw meat germs etc. lurking around, but I realized I'm probably breathing in all sorts of fumes and toxins. Gross. Any advice? I'm thinking wear mask and gloves, buy some natural cleaners or just stick to mostly vinegar and baking soda...
Cristine
Funny, add me to the list of jealous Americans who envy your healthcare! We are on the verge of passing new healthcare reform but not only does it not include the "extravagances" that other countries have but I'm afraid it really does fall short of its original intent... "socialized" healthcare, which is NOT a bad thing!

Aphelendra, we are currently on vacation and giving it 1 more try. After this I'll have to make an appointment with my doctor for a referral.

Michelina, I'm ok but I just feel like it's just not gonna happen naturally & I've just come to accept it. My poor husband continues to pump me with baby juice & I pretend like everytime could be *it*! Sorry for the visual. I am on CD 16 & have not ovulated yet, the latest I've ever ovulated is CD 18. How many DPO are you?
funnybird
I really hope I didn't sound as if I was gloating about the healthcare thing - but plenty of folks here in the UK knock the NHS and I'm just so grateful for it! I just don't get why anyone would object to nationalised healthcare - I mean, it's far from perfect, but it's not as if anyone is stopping anyone else from paying for private treatment if they really want to.

We haven't told anyone yet, and plan not to until I've had the scan. It was just too heartbreaking last time to have to 'un-tell' our parents after getting them so excited. Keeping the news under wraps also helps it seem less real, which is actually helping me to cope with the anxiety at the moment - probably not a healthy approach, I know, but it appears to be working...

Michelina, I'm glad to hear that your doc was helpful and sympathetic, and that the IUI went better this time.

Cristine, I hope you're enjoying your vacation! Whereabouts are you?

It's getting late here and I have to go to bed, despite sleeping in til 10, having a 2 hour nap this afternoon and not leaving the flat all day...
aphelendra
Thanks Zelda, you managed to remind me that the end goal is what's important, not how you get there. I like that you have so much faith in your doctor, I think I just need to find a practitioner I'm more comfortable with. I feel like I'm going into this being too protective/controlling of my babe/birth because I feel like the docs in my practice are too quick to jump to intervention.

Luleey, btw I live in the city proper (although just barely), so we are almost neighbors. I plan on delivering at NMH, which is a great hospital, though some refer to it as a "baby factory", which is adding to my anxiety a bit. They do however allow rooming in, have private rooms, and have one of the best NICU's in the area, all important things.

Mostly I clean with vinegar, but periodically I make the Mr. lysol the bathroom, bless his heart. Gotta love a man who's willing to scrub a toilet for his pregnant lady smile.gif Natural cleaners are generally not so effective at disinfecting, they're useful for certain things but not so good for kitchen/bath stuff.

Nick, we waited until almost the end of the first trimester, our fertility specialist gave us the all clear at 10 weeks, which was around christmas. For Mr.'s parent's present, we gave them a framed ultrasound picture with a tiny santa hat glued to buggo's little bean head. Aaaahhh the things we do when pregnant . . . . We did get a few congrats posted on facebook before we got to tell friends, but we had just gotten engaged as well (cart before horse, I know) so I think most people chalked it up to that.

Funny, I understand what you're saying about keeping it from feeling to real. For the first few weeks of this pregnancy I dealt with it by saying we "had conceived" not we were "pregnant" because that somehow made it less about a baby and therefore easier should things go awry . . . .Though you must be well past the point at which you miscarried last time? I'm going to take that to mean that this one's gotta be a sticker smile.gif

Michelina, glad to hear the IUI went better this time around. I did the injections for a few cycles even before IUI, I remember it being strange, but exciting to do something so proactive. I've also been on ativan, and I have to say the stuff saved my sanity. Anything you can do to make this process easier, you should do.

Good luck to you, and to Christine this month!!!!
nickclick
hi Michelina! stick that feeling of optimism. and keep us updated.

thanks for the advice. it's totally weird seeing friends and not telling them. i almost let it slip yesterday when a friend asked me if i had a tampon in my purse. i was like - oh yeah because i won't be ..... oops. at 8 weeks, by the time we get around to seeing all who we want to tell personally, it will be almost 12 weeks before we go public anyways! i'll just have to trust that everyone can keep it under wraps for a little while. funny, i felt that same anxiety until we had the good u/s last week. the stress is certainly not gone, but now i feel like i can share excitement.

aphelendra, i just went shopping for all natural cleaners. good idea about a periodic disinfection by the mr.

christine, enjoy vacation and the baby juice!

luleey
Aphelendra, glad you found a great hospital in the city. I think sometimes hospitals get bad reps and it's not always founded, and you're right, in the end it's about what you're comfortable with. We are going to look at 3-4 south surburban hospitals and then make decisions on where, dr./midwife, whatever. I'm just going to be relaxed about it and let myself make a good and safe decision. I'll also try some safer/natural cleaners...and probably get the Mr to handle the periodic Tilex-ing of the showers!

Funny, whatever approach you take towards telling is up to you and about what makes you feel confident and ok. Mr really wanted to tell everyone once we found it was 8 weeks, even though I thought it could wait a bit, but I acquiesced and it'll be fine--even on the off chance something does go wrong. My body is definitely making some visible changes already which I take to be a good sign, and nausea and fatigue abound, which is also good. I'll be thinking of you! Oh, and btw--you weren't bragging about UK healthcare, it's true that a lot of people outside the US haven't a clue how great their system is. Maybe we could do a pregnant lady exchange program for people in the UK who complain about nationalized HC...they'd be begging to go back!!

Glad you're feeling good about everything, Michelina!! Woot!

Cristine, take care and enjoy yourself and your hubby...that's a great thing to focus on to get your mind de-stressed and your body relaxed and healthy!

zelda
Michelina, how many DPO are you? I'm so glad this IUI was at least more promising for you, and you didn't mind giving yourself the shot. Let us know what's going on.

Christine, crossing my fingers for you...keep us updated.

As for telling people, my problem was that people kept guessing either because I wasn't drinking at social events or because I had to miss work at the beginning because I was having trouble with anxiety and insomnia. It's so hard to lie (and I really couldn't) if someone asked me, "Are you pregnant?" right to my face!

We didn't start telling people until 11 weeks when my doctor heard the heartbeat and told us are chances were excellent at that point. It's so hard to keep it a secret. Beforehand, I told people who I would have felt comfortable telling if something went wrong - people who I would have wanted to go to for support.

I can tell you that as slow as the first trimester goes, pregnancy goes faster and faster as the time goes on...the first trimester is agonizingly slow then picks up, and now this third trimester is going by insanely fast!
zelda
PS As for cleaning, I mop with a Steam Shark which only uses water, and I use the Green Works product line. Sometimes I use Windex...I don't think it's a huge deal as long as you don't breathe in intense fumes over a long period of time.
kittygirl1979
Hi everyone! I decided to stop posting for some time because I was beginning to feel very negative about trying to get pregnant and didn't want to share my negative energy on this board....BUT.... I just found out that I am pregnant!! I am only 3 weeks along, I just had a positive test today!! I am SO surprised. I thought for sure my husband's meds (antidepressants) were causing a fertility problem. The first thing I noticed that was strange was a constant warm feeling, especially in my face and especially at night. I'm trying not to tell people yet, but we were just at our friend's house who have just had a baby and we told them. I told my best friend too. Both my husband and my parents are coming to our house this weekend so we will tell them too. The only thing I am worried about is my other friends will immediately know something is up when I am not drinking my usual PBR beer when we are out. Any suggestions? I was thinking of telling them I was on a med for something that didn't allow me to drink. When did everyone on here share the news? It's so hard not to tell!
pepper
It's funny how many people feel like they're going to get found out by not drinking.
If you aren't comfortable telling a lie stick close to the truth, it's the lying that will get you busted most of the time!

New years resolution to cut back
hung over
not feeling well/upset stomach
taking a med works, just find out which ones qualify
bit of a head ache (and took a med for it...?)
not in the mood
big day tomorrow
made a bet with a friend (bartender i know did this, neither drank for over 2 months)
trying a strict work out/health program (to get in shape and really want to give it your all for a while at least, or allergy elimination diet and can't have anything funny, etc)
last time you had just a drink or two it really hit you hard and you're taking a break to figure out why
doctor told you to cut back (that's not technically a lie)

get a drink that looks like a drink but isn't.

And for goodness sake, if you don't want people to know ~wipe that big smile off your face!!!
funnybird
Congratulations Kitty!

I'm using the 'given up alcohol for lent' excuse. That will work for another couple of weeks at least! I'm not too fussed if people want to speculate based on my drinking habits, as long as no one asks me outright if I'm pregnant.

I'm 7 weeks today. Nausea and fatigue abound for me too. I haven't actually thrown-up yet - just feel more as if I'm hungover, only without the fun of the night before. I had that weird metallic taste in my mouth this morning, like I'd been sucking pennies all night. Oh my, this is all getting too real for my coping strategy. Please be okay babybird...
nickclick
aw babybird, that's so cute.... i hear ya about the hungover feeling. i am just so exhausted past 7pm anymore.

congrats kittygirl!

my excuse for not drinking has been diet - i don't want to drink my calories and i'd rather have delicious food at a party/dinner instead. it was hard when we had a st. patrick's day party at our house. everyone was like - you don't have to drive home, have some beers! so i kinda carried around one all day and mr.nick would steal sips.

zelda
Congrats, kitty!

Oh, Funny, I am praying and hoping for you...like crazy. I really do think things will be okay. This first trimester is so hard. By the way, I had metal mouth toward the end of my first tri, but it went away. It was gross...drink water (which you should be drinking a lot of anyway).

Had my 30 week check up yesterday (insane I am that far along!)...baby's heartbeat was 136...he is usually in the 130s so my doc said hopefully we will have a mellow baby. This morning he was a little too mellow for my taste, hardly moving after breakfast...but after I got to work and ran around getting things ready for my class, I sat down to relax and he started really grooving.

Worry is the work of pregnancy worry is the work of pregnancy worry is the work of pregnancy...

My check ups will be every 2 weeks from now on which is fine with me...more reassurance from the doc.

Sleeping is getting to be very difficult with my back and hips. But I am hanging in there with my body pillow.

Oh, this will make you laugh. The doctor gave me a sheet of paper with Warning Signs of Preterm Labor on it. I posted it in the bathroom in case I need it. The warning signs are numbered 1 through 6 and include things like "Abdominal Cramping" or "Intense Lower Backache".

I went to the bathroom last night and discovered Mr. Z had added #7: "Baby's Head is Protruding Out Of Your Vag"....HA! I laughed so hard. I hope the baby inherits his sense of humor.
luleey
Zelda, your hubs sounds HILARIOUS!!

Congrats Kitty, we'll be praying for your little one! The list of excuses is great, I think any one of those'd work. Luckily (kind of) for me I'm staying in a lot more due to my finances (turns out being a homeowner is pretty damn expensive) and have therefore been avoiding a lot of the drinky situations. Next time we go out I'll just be the DD and use that as my excuse! Although people will totally still ask! Still, I'm determined to wait another few weeks at least. Unless someone in my family drops the ball, which may actually happen. Oh well!

Funny, take deep breaths and relax...be sure and get some fresh air and exercise, that is what is helping me the most with my nausea and stress. The sun and wind feel so good. I also did some yoga yesterday which helps get me centered, strong-feeling and breathing deeply. Your birdie is here to stay, so far so good!

Random funny story...? Both my MIL and my mom had been having dreams about babies the past couple months. Maybe that happened to some of you too??

Sigh...the first tri really is hard...but I'm actually having fun now too! Keep up the positive, smiley thoughts everyone.
aphelendra
I've had a migraine since sunday night, of course can't take any of the good stuff and am too afraid to even take tylenol anyways (her liver is just so dang tiny). Yarg.

but I wanted to send some interweb congratulations to kitty!!!
hope everyone else is well.

and now I crawl back to my darkened hidey hole . . . .
zelda
Aphelendra, I hope you feel better soon. I would not be scared to take a Tylenol. I've taken Tylenol twice during my pregnancy and was reassured by both the nurse on call and my OB that it is perfectly safe. I had a bad headache (not a migraine, but bad) and I resisted taking something....when I finally gave in I was so glad because I was able to sleep.

I know it's scary, but try not to be too scared. Tylenol really is the gold standard for safe pain relief in pregnancy.
kittygirl1979
Hi guys! I have a quick question... I have tested 2 times (3 if you count the OPK that tested positive too). They are all positive, and I have tested using them over the course of 4 days. I am also 3 days past my period. I want to tell my parents and inlaws this weekend (they are coming to stay at my house starting tomorrow). Technically, I guess I am in my 5th week, since you count starting from your last period. Do you think it is safe to tell them this weekend? I would feel comfortable telling them if something went wrong, which I think is what I am going to use as my rule of thumb for who I tell early and who I don't. I do have 1 test left so I guess I could wait til Friday and test a 3rd (or 4th counting the positive opk) time. That would be testing spread out over the course of 6 days. What are your thoughts? Thanks smile.gif

P.S. I'm not having tons of symptoms tho- just sore bb's, a little hungrier, lost 2 pounds, which makes me now a little underweight- I'm pretty thin anyway sad.gif , no period, and more tired than usual. Oh, and anything sweet sounds gross. Does this sound right for 5th week??
zelda
Kitty, all symptoms are different for every woman and every pregnancy. You definitely do have some early symptoms that sound familiar to many although many women (including me) had hardly any symptoms for weeks and weeks! A little weight loss in the beginning is normal, too...I didn't gain any real weight until the second trimester (then I gained a ton).

If you've tested positive with two home pregnancy tests, it is very likely you are pregnant as false positives are very rare. I don't in any way mean to be negative, but I will caution you that sometimes you can get a positive test and then start your period a week or so later. This is what's known as a chemical pregnancy in that you conceived enough to start generating the pregnancy hormone the test checks for, but the embryo didn't fully implant. In the days before early pregnancy tests, women rarely even knew they had chemical pregnancies - they just thought they had late periods.

You are still slightly in that window for a chemical, but every day that passes past the day of your period is a VERY good sign. By the way, have you called to make a pregnancy confirmation appt. with your doctor? (Typically, they want you to wait two weeks after your last missed period - for the chemical pregnancy reason, usually.)

I think you are wise to tell people you would want to go to for support if the worst case scenario occurred (which it most likely will not). It really is up to you and your partner. Some people tell everyone right away - but I had a friend who didn't tell anyone but her husband until she was 13 weeks. She was that superstitious. It is up to you, but your plan sounds like a good one to me.

Good luck!!!!
koffeewitch
QUOTE(aphelendra @ Mar 23 2010, 11:37 AM) *
I've had a migraine since sunday night, of course can't take any of the good stuff and am too afraid to even take tylenol anyways (her liver is just so dang tiny). Yarg.

but I wanted to send some interweb congratulations to kitty!!!
hope everyone else is well.

and now I crawl back to my darkened hidey hole . . . .


Honey, I agree with Zelda on this one. If your migraine continues to the point that you start throwing up and suffer dehydration you are putting your poor body through far more stress than a little Tylenol.

Kitty, it sounds good for a pregnancy, congrats! Sore breasts were always a big sign for me. You may also notice this cramp-like feeling that feels a lot like your period starting. No worries, it's (hopefully) just your uterus expanding. I also tended to lose weight at first (and at the very end when I had no more room for a stomach under all that kicking baby).
Cristine
Hello all! I'm on CD 20 and according to my monitor I have still not ovulated. I didn't take my temperature while on vacation but this morning I did & it was definitely on the low end. I'll keep you posted...

Michelina, how many DPO are you?
delibelly
Kittygirl - I'm a big blabber. I told many people right away when I was pregnant with my first. And I've been telling everyone about this pregnancy too. I had one friend who told me I was being ´rresponsible" by doing that before the end of the first trimester, but if I suffer a miscarriage I'm not the type to want that hidden from the people who I love and rely on for support.

As for you worriers - I have bad news - you will never not worry again. Now it's the pregnancy, and after that it will be SIDS, and after that it will be pedophiles, and so on...You will never be as carefree again in your life. Sorry. The other day I was thinking to myself ¤f I can just hold out until their adulthood...then I can relax. But. Oh shit. What if they have kids?!" I'm sitting here worrying about future worries about grandkids.

As for me, I'm at 13 weeks. Nausea getting better. Still tired as hell. I wish I could be as excited with this pregnancy as I was with my last, but I'm so overwhelmed with all the preparations and expectations about painful labour and hard work and lack of sleep that I just find myself mostly thinking "God, what have I got myself into." Ha!
koffeewitch
QUOTE(delibelly @ Mar 24 2010, 05:03 PM) *
As for me, I'm at 13 weeks. Nausea getting better. Still tired as hell. I wish I could be as excited with this pregnancy as I was with my last, but I'm so overwhelmed with all the preparations and expectations about painful labour and hard work and lack of sleep that I just find myself mostly thinking "God, what have I got myself into." Ha!


You might be pleasantly surprised about this labor, the next time round is usually easier. You probably will not believe this, but my second pregnancy I had a pain-free mildly uncomfortable labor with about 15 or 20 minutes of rough stuff at the very end. No lie. And my first labor was hell on wheels. Every birth since my first has comparably been a walk in the park. With luck, maybe it'll go much easier for you this time.

P.S. you really summed it up on the worrying bit. I'm even more worried about my kids young adult years... I was a good kid, but wild as hell in my twenties. What if my kids do the crazy shit I did?!
pepper
I used to be so easy going, now I am an uptight paranoid freak, I'm telling ya! I worry about them every day, all day long and I'm not that much of a worrying kind of person by nature. Yes, kiss your easy existance goodbye. It's gone for good once you have kids.
zelda
I'm already an uptight worrier....guess I'm gonna stroke out once Elliott makes an appearance. ;-)

I've heard from some women that they tend to relax over the "small stuff" once the kiddo arrives. So while I might stay up late now worrying about the fact that I haven't mopped the kitchen floor in ages, those worries and crazy thoughts leave you....only to be replaced by ones about your kid.

I suppose I'd rather worry about a baby than the kitchen floor, ultimately. :-)
aphelendra
thanks for the reassurances . . . . I didn't end up taking the tylenol, but I did have a cup of coffee (first in 5 months!) yesterday afternoon, followed up by an emergency chiropractor visit this morning, both things helped quite a bit and I'm feeling much better.

koffee and zelda, you're both very right about the stress of the pain/nausea being worse than the tylenol. Fortunately, this migraine wasn't too tough, but if I have one that's totally intolerable I definitely will be taking something for the pain . . . .

On a happier note, we just got home from our first birth class, and absolutely loved loved loved it. The instructor is great and even after just one class I can say I feel more in control, more knowledgeable, and much more ready to deal with what is about to happen. And still seven classes to go.

The experience also completely convinced us that we have to switch providers, and possibly even hospitals. We got some great suggestions and are seriously leaning towards using a midwife, or at least a physician we feel more comfortable with.

All in all a great experience, one I recommend to all, especially all the worriers out there.

sending good vibes out to all . . . . and especially good luck to the ladies trying to conceive and those still in the limbo of the first trimester . . . . hope you all stay healthy and happy!
nickclick
aphelendra, great news all around. my doc too said tylenol is just fine. how was the coffee?

kittygirl, i had to tell my mom right away. i talk to her every day and while i've certainly kept secrets from her before, there was no way i could hide the anxiety in my voice, or chit chat about anything else. it was painful for her to keep the secret so she was allowed to tell my aunt. so far no one has blabbed that i know of. we've been slowly telling close friends as we see them, and will likely make an announcement to my big fat family at easter dinner, at which i'll be at 10 weeks. maybe too early but it will be exciting.

my sore boobs were my biggest (ha ha) red flag symptom at first. minor cramping and bloatedness are usual PMS symptoms, but my boobs were (and still are) super sore. enjoy your weekend!

i made an appt for neucal fold today and go on april 22. i hear ya all about nonstop worries, but that test is worry #1 for me right now. i can't wait for good news back after that.

i woke up yesterday with a sty in my eye. because i don't feel bloated and gross enough. my OB said to see my primary about it, so i'm off to see her soon.
zelda
Aphelendra, glad you are feeling better and liked your class...

Nickclick, sorry about the sty, but also so thrilled the news is still good as you progress through the 1st trimester.

SO....a coworker just came into my classroom to chat with me about the pregnancy and happened to mention her aunt who had a stillbirth at 38 weeks because the cord was wrapped around the baby's neck.

WHY DO PEOPLE SAY THESE THINGS TO PREGNANT WOMEN!?!?!?

Then I started flipping out and Googling stillbirth and wanting to cry and I'm freaking out.

Erg.......
kittygirl1979
Hi there everyone!!

Zelda, I'm sorry your co worker said those things to you!! That's pretty insensitive and rude- I can't think of any good reason to say that to someone... I know how you feel- I was convinced we wouldn't conceive without medical help. Then we did, and now I'm so worried about a miscarriage!! I googled a huge list of concerns and came up with the statistic that most women who experience morning sickness do not miscarry. I have no morning sickness!! So now, instead of being happy that I have no morning sickness, I wish I did becuase then I wouldn't worry about miscarrying so much!! But then I also read that morning sickness can be a sign of a miscarriage too!Argh! did I mention how OCD I can be??

My bbs feel so weird, and then yesterday one was bigger than the other! How strange this stuff all is! The I had to cancel my hair coloring apt. because my OBGYN said they discouraged cologing hair til after the second trimester. I don't think I should paint my nails either from what I've read. I'm sort of a girly girly too. No complaints here though- I'm so relieved and excited to be pregnant!!

Christine- just wanted to tell you that on my last cycle, I didn't OV til day 25, and that was the cycle we conceived on. It took us a full 9 months too. Don't give up hope- I know exactly how you feel!! Are you using a fertility monitor? I used the Clear Blue Easy Monitor and didn't worry about monitoring anything else, like cervical position or temps. The monitor instructions said that you didn't need to. If I hadn't used the CBFM, I would never have known when I was OVing since my cycles are irregular.

Good luck to everyone out there!!
aphelendra
nick - the coffee, besides being even more delicious than I remember, helped soooooo much. Once it wore off the headache came back full force, but it did give me a few hours of relief.

The neuchal fold test was a wonderful way to end the first tri, you'll be amazed at how much the little one actually looks like a baby. A nose and a mouth and eyes and everything! I think they were our first truly "cute" baby pics.

Zelda - People can be so ridiculous. I feel like I could fill a book with all the insensitive things that have been said to me in the last five months. I told one of my (few) mommy friends about how happy I was to have made it past the first tri, and her response was to tell me that her friend lost a baby late in her second tri, and then to tell me how mad she was when she was told this and how much it worried her. Ummmm . . . . so now you have to pass that worry on to me????? Thanks. Thanks a bunch.

I try to just keep reminding myself that if you do make it past the first tri, you have a 97% chance of delivering a healthy bubs. We have to fall into that giant and vast majority, right?

Kitty - I seem to have been in the minority in the way I experienced my very early pregnancy. I was one of those ladies who had symptoms right away, and just knew I was pregnant even before I tested. Sore boobs, gas, heartburn, devastating exhaustion, the whole nine yards.

But absolutely no nausea until I was very close to six weeks. Even then, it took a week or two to fully hit me. I wouldn't worry at all about not having the queasies yet.

Also, the NP at my fertility clinic kind of scoffed when I started rattling off a list of miscarriage "symptoms" that I had come up with while trolling the internet. She told me the only two things I needed to worry about were bright red bleeding that didn't stop (i.e. not spotting), and cramps so bad they would cause me to double over.

Hope that helps a bit, and hope your doctor is able to give you some reassurance soon . . . .

nickclick
why, zelda, why? if she must share such a story, she could have waited just a few more weeks. don't over-Google!

aphelendra, thanks, i'm going to change my neuchal fold appt for later in the afternoon so mr.nick can come along. i forgot that we get another peek at the peanut!
zelda
Thanks, everyone, for your kind words...it was just so insensitive of her to say that. Elliott is a real person to me now, and I feel so much love for him already in utero, I just want to meet him so much!!! The last few weeks are going to be agonizing!

Kitty, I never had nausea. NEVER. Up to a quarter of pregnant women never do. My mother never did with any of her three pregnancies, so I wonder if it could be genetic. There were maybe one or two times when I felt a touch queasy if I smelled something weird, but that happens to me when I'm NOT pregnant, so I say I never had nausea.

It is not a sign of anything bad if you don't have symptoms. I cannot tell you how many times I Googled "don't feel pregnant" - enough to make me crazy. Even at 11 weeks I remember telling my doctor that without the early ultrasound and blood test confirmation, I would have never thought I was pregnant. I felt 100% normal. I didn't even gain any weight. And here I am, months later, with a beach ball belly and a baby moving and grooving inside. (And I've gained 21 pounds.)

It's gonna be okay.

Worry is the work of pregnancy. Man, I need to get that tattooed on me or something.
funnybird
Kitty, my nausea has only just kicked in at 7 weeks. I still haven't thrown-up yet, but have done lots of gagging and lying on the sofa feeling sorry for myself. I can't face tea at the moment either, which is devastating for a Brit! Just give it a couple of weeks and you'll be heaving with the rest of us (or be lucky like Zelda).

Zelda, what a thing to say! A work colleague related a similarly tragic tale about an overdue baby when I mentioned that my brother's wife was 10 days overdue - I couldn't believe that she thought I needed to hear it! She made my excitement at being an aunt turn to dread for a few days. Of course my nephew turned up healthy in his own sweet time and is now a cheeky 4 year old who melts my heart. Someone needs to invent a radar to detect stupid and tactless people so they can be more easily avoided. BTW, you were in my dream last night! Or at least a pregnant American lady named Zelda was - do you have dark hair and perfect teeth by any chance?

Cristine, do you think your vacation may have delayed your cycle a little?#

ETA: Congratulations to y'all from the States on the healthcare reform bill! Woot! You'll be socialists in no time wink.gif
luleey
ah, coffee. I just had a cup...just one...and it was awesome. I decided not to stress about having 1-2 cups a week, since my doc said you can actually have one a day. And, I just bought some neat organic decaf *chocolate* "coffee" that I'm sure will keep me smiling!!

Kitty, I didn't have nausea until week 6 or 7, and no other oddness until then, just some cramping I assumed was PMS and a late period, which ain't nothing new in my wacky world. Don't worry!! You're lucky...nausea sucks!

OMG Zelda and co., people can truly be idiots. And a lot of them are. Just smile, nod, and walk away rolling your eyes heavenward like, "Why did I just waste my time talking to that person? Note to self: spend more quality time with sensitive people and/or inatimate friends, such as Skittles." Or busties. Remember that as cheesy as it sounds, positivity helps people--physically and mentally--in sooooo many ways.

I found a great nausea treatment I thought I would share, from one of the Wise Woman herbal books by Susun Weed if any of you have read them...red raspberry leaf tea! It is delicious and it actually helps! Just buy the leaves at a health food shop, plop 'em in a tea ball and go to town. MMMMM!!! I tried nettle too, which the book recommended, but that didn't do it for me as well as raspberry.

Aphelandra, let us know what you decide! We did a hospital tour last night and next week are checking out West Suburban in Oak Park, which has a whole birthing center with midwives, birthing tubs, the whole nine yards. They do tours every Wednesday evening. Email me if you want more deets and keep me posted on your findings too!!

Warn fuzzies to you all...week 9 baby! Woohoo!
Cristine
kitty, thanks so much, that makes me feel a ton better! And yes I've used the ClearBlue fertility monitor 5 of the 9 months we've been trying... and I love it!

funny, yes I believe the vacation (lots of activity) may have delayed my ovulation... I just didn't expect that so I'm kinda bummed.

I hope all you preggers are thoroughly enjoying your pregnancies despite the side effects & occassional asshole comments! wink.gif
zelda
Cristine, I hope you O soon...odds are you will. Even if it's late, what matters is that you do! And you do. :-)

Perhaps the 9th time will be the charm as it has been for kitty and me.

Funny, I do have dark hair and fairly decent teeth, I would say. Although I never wore braces which is a rarity for an American! Sorry you can't drink your tea. I desperately miss my morning cup of Joe. (American slang for coffee!)

Truth is I have allowed myself a caffeinated soda now and again. I think I will start allowing myself a bit of coffee, too, now that I am close to the end. My doctor said a small cup a day was just fine, but I wanted to avoid it in the first trimester, and now I guess I've just gotten in the habit of not drinking it.

I am so pleased with the new health care bill. I cannot believe the moronic right wing reaction to it...it's ultimately a series of consumer protections at most! Must sound insane to you in Europe and Canada, but essentially the bill does such radical things like...making sure an insurance company can't deny you coverage just because you have a pre-existing condition. Whaaaaa?!?!? Wow, that's so radical! Good grief.

It's the biggest piece of social legislation in decades and I, for one, am thrilled. It also means baby Elliott will be able to stay on our plan until he is 26 as opposed to getting kicked off at 21 like I was and floundering about uninsured, praying you don't get hit by a bus.
aphelendra
As a formerly uninsurable human being (endometriosis, migraines, acid reflux disease, arthritis, panic disorder, cholesteotomas, need I go on?) I accept your congratulations funny!

Shame on the right wing.


Cristine
Exactly, we didn't get Nationalized healthcare (unfortunately), but we got healthcare REFORM that's filled with consumer protections... anyone who could argue against that is just inhumane!

Anyway, I am ovulating today! Yaayyy, finally!! CD 22... unreal! I advised Mr. C to be ready tonight! wink.gif
zelda
Hope you got to "BD" Cristine. ;-)

I had a bit of a worry on Friday. I'd had an ache on my upper right side of my belly on and off since Monday. I'd mentioned it to my OB when I saw her Monday, but she didn't seem too concerned. Thursday night it hurt quite a bit - not a pain so much as an ache. Almost like I pulled a muscle.

I tried not to be too neurotic, but I went ahead and called the doctor on Friday and spoke with the (super nice) nurse who told me to take it easy and drink lots of water. I spent Friday teaching lessons from my chair. ;-)

The nurse spoke with the doctor and then called me back. By this time the ache was much less. She told me to keep on resting and monitor myself for signs of preterm labor (and keep doing my kick counts).

Well the weekend has gone by and all is well - Elliott is moving just fine. The ache is less. I honestly think I pulled something there, perhaps by resting on my left side and reaching over behind me to get something off the nightstand.

I think these last few weeks are going to be the hardest...not only will I be more nervous, I'm just exhausted so often! Ten more weeks to go! :-)
luleey
Yay Cristine!! Hope you had a fun night...

Zelda, I think I pulled a muscle the other day too...although obviously you're much farther along than I am, I had tried doing this pregnancy workout dvd and I think I was using muscles in different ways or something. Or ones I hadn't used in awhile. I kept getting abdominal pains, but nothing sharp or shooting, so I just went to bed and in the morning I was better (albeit nauseaous as usual). Glad the ache is gone.

What are kick counts, btw? How do you keep track of that?

((("bean" and baby hugs)))
zelda
Luleey, kick counts are something you don't need to worry about until about 28 weeks of pregnancy. My doctor (and most pregnancy books) suggest you do them twice a day.

It's easy. After you eat breakfast and an evening meal, lie down quietly (I like to rest on my left side) and wait until you've felt about 10 movements from the baby. My doctor suggests 5 to 10 movements is just fine. Any movement at all counts - not just hard kicks, but swishes, rolls, flutters, etc.

If you don't have 10 movements in 1 hour, you might want to drink some juice, shake your belly a little, walk around, etc. and try again. You're supposed to aim for 10 movements in two hours. If you don't get them, you should probably call the doctor just to check.

My mom says they never suggested this years ago and that it only serves to make pregnant women more neurotic. Could be true...my BFF never did them. She just made sure her baby was moving every so often. But for me, I've found doing the kick counts reassuring.

A word of caution...DON'T even consider doing this until 28 weeks or so. Even though I started feeling my baby move around 18 weeks, there is no way I would have been able to get 10 counts twice a day back then. Sometimes when I first started feeling movement, I'd feel a tiny bit just once a day if that...so there's no need to do kick counts until the third trimester.
Michelina
Congratulations, Kitty! Wow, so many fall babies!

I'm trying to stay away from sites about pregnancy, infertility, etc. as it already plagues my mind enough. But I do want to update you Busties now and then.

I had a negative urine test last week, and stopped the progesterone. That morning my sister called me at work (not sure why everyone feels they cannot wait until I am home) to tell me that she is pregnant. This is her second. She is due late November - about a month after my SIL. They both live in Calgary and I cannot express the jealousy I feel. Of course I am happy for my sister (and happiest for my niece who wants to be a big sis), but the unfairness and the bad timing is almost more than I can take.

I had another huge breakdown at work. My manager wanted me to go home, but I refused to sit at home and bawl by myself. I have been very unstable since.

Calgary is completely 100% out now. I would have been staying with my sister so avoiding a pregnant woman would be impossible given these new circumstances. We have now self referred to Vancouver to a clinic called Genesis. We can likely start as soon as our vacation is over in August. We could do IVF at home, but I would likely not start until Oct or NOv, and if it doesn't work, I don't know how I would handle the births just weeks later. At least in August, we would have some time to adjust to bad news before putting on a fake smile and being nothing but ecstatic for my younger sibs. I am bitter and angry and scared, and for that reason too, I won't be posting a lot.

I truly wish everyone here all of the best despite the fact that I want to be right there with all of you so much that it hurts.

Cristine, I am thinking of you. Crossed fingers and toes.
luleey

Michelina, there is not much else I can think of to say except that my thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time and I know your strength and determination will eventually bring your baby to you, however arduous that journey may or may not be. Allow yourself to feel the myriad of emotions you'll experience as they come, while also being aware of some of the good and even wonderful things in your life right now too, even though it's hard.

And a big thank you for your support of me and everyone in this thread, it really means so much! Take care of YOURSELF and do what in your heart you know is best for you.

((hugs))
yumyum
(((Michelina)))

I wish I could think of something eloquent to say, but I can't. All I can say is my heart goes out to you and I'm sorry to hear how much pain you're in right now. It sounds like switching clinics is the right thing for you to do. You need to do what you need to do to get through this. I want you to know that I'm still hopeful that things will start looking up soon, and I'm still thinking all kinds of good thoughts for you and Mr. M (even though I post infrequently these days).
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