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nickclick
welcome Sarah Marie and congrats Aphelendra! can't wait to hear all about her.

thanks for the encouraging words. still thinking on it. the hospital is great; heard all sorts of good reviews from local new parents. one of the docs in my practice is great. the others are just fine.

TMI alert........... i took the biggest poo yesterday and, needless to say, this is one happy mommy to be!
luleey
yay aphelendra! so happy for you.

...and for nick, even though it's just poo. biggrin.gif
Fookie
Wooooooohoooooo Aphelendra! Congrats. Can hardly wait to hear all about the birth. Her name is so sweet.

Good job on the poop, Nick! Glad to hear the hospital scare turned out OK.

Thank you everyone for all the nice wishes and for understanding how great it could be for Finn to have contact with his maternal gran.

auralpoison
Congrats Aphelendra & family!

QUOTE(nickclick @ Jul 26 2010, 06:18 AM) *
anyway, baby's OK but mommy needs to heavy up on the water and gatorade more than usual when it's blazing.


I was wondering if you'd ever tried Vita Coco? It is awesome for you & better than Gatorade any day!
pollystyrene
QUOTE(aphelendra @ Jul 26 2010, 05:58 AM) *
Baby Sarah Marie, born 7/23/10 at 11:35 pm!

More later . . . .


Congrats! You might be the first Chicago bustie to procreate! smile.gif
nickclick
QUOTE(auralpoison @ Jul 28 2010, 05:44 AM) *
I was wondering if you'd ever tried Vita Coco? It is awesome for you & better than Gatorade any day!

no, i'll check it out, thanks! i'm not very athletic so this is my first real stint with gatorade. it's weak kool-aid.
zelda
Nickclick, wait until your first postpartum poo!!!! Now that's a "load" off...sorry, stupid, dirty joke. Operating on 4 hours of sleep! ;-)
funnybird
Yaaayyy for Aphelendra and baby Sarah! Hope the two of you and Mr. A are having a lovely time bonding.
Michelina
Aphelendra, congratulations!!! I am so happy for you. And what a beautiful name! Hope that all three of you are doing well and you are managing to get a little rest too.
funnybird
Michelina, how are you doing? How many weeks are you now?

My latest news: Babybird has started kicking so hard that my bump moves! It looks (and feels) pretty freaky. I had my 25 week check-up today, and he even tried to kick the doppler wand away when the midwife was trying to hear his heartbeat. Everything looks well, and my fundal height is a spot-on 25cms.

I have lots of admin to do this week - I have to sort out my "Health in Pregnancy" grant paperwork (Yay! Free money from the government!), give my employer formal notice of when I'll be starting my maternity leave, and photocopy my medical notes to take on holiday with us next weekend.

Hope everyone is well...
nickclick
QUOTE(zelda @ Jul 28 2010, 12:23 PM) *
Nickclick, wait until your first postpartum poo!!!! Now that's a "load" off...sorry, stupid, dirty joke. Operating on 4 hours of sleep! ;-)

love it!

QUOTE(funnybird @ Jul 29 2010, 07:22 AM) *
My latest news: Babybird has started kicking so hard that my bump moves! It looks (and feels) pretty freaky. I had my 25 week check-up today, and he even tried to kick the doppler wand away when the midwife was trying to hear his heartbeat. Everything looks well, and my fundal height is a spot-on 25cms.

I have lots of admin to do this week - I have to sort out my "Health in Pregnancy" grant paperwork (Yay! Free money from the government!), give my employer formal notice of when I'll be starting my maternity leave, and photocopy my medical notes to take on holiday with us next weekend.

Hope everyone is well...

i love the alien-like bumps! and i love your medical system! i can't even take advantage of the new family leave benefit here in NJ because only companies that have more than 50 employees must comply, and mine is too small sad.gif since i'm the first preggo in a few years at my co, my HR person is all sorts of confused about my leave, vacation time, etc.
funnybird
When reading my NHS Guide to Pregnancy, I skipped over the paragraph about postpartum bowel movements. I am also ignoring the 'Perineal Care after Childbirth' leaflet I was given today. I know that sooner or later my safe little bubble of denial will burst, but I'm hoping to remain oblivious to the more gruesome aspects of giving birth for a few weeks more.

What is the deal with maternity leave and pay in the US? Does it vary from state to state? I'll be taking a full year off work (the maximum I can take here in the UK and still have a job to go back to). I get 90% of my salary for the first 6 weeks, then statutory maternity pay up till 9 months - which is not much, but better than nothing.

The HIP grant is brilliant, but I'm lucky to be getting it as our new government wants to scrap it as soon as they can. I suppose giving 190 to EVERY pregnant woman when the national deficit is so huge IS rather extravagant, but heck, I pay my taxes and will certainly be claiming mine while I can!
zelda
I weep when I think about how poor our maternity leave situation is here in the states.

Under federal law, every American woman is entitled to 12 weeks of UNPAID leave and her job is secure. And before that, I don't know if there was any job protection. President Clinton pushed for the FMLA Act and for that I will be forever grateful. But it is unpaid, so if you can't afford to stay home for 12 weeks, you get no benefit from it.

Oh, and like Nickclick said, if your place of employment has fewer than 50 people, they don't have to comply with the law, so....

Some places of employment and I guess some states have other laws or regulations, but most American women I know have 3 months off at maximum. Many, many women go back to work after 6 weeks.

I got lucky in that I am a teacher and Elliott was born during summer, so my maternity leave is "paid" only because I get paid over the summer regardless. Many teachers tries to time conception so this happens, but we just got lucky.

Funny, I never once looked "down there" after giving birth. I tore, got stitches, and was apparently quite swollen (say the nurses)...I just took care of myself per instructions from the hospital and eventually I healed up just fine. It is uncomfortable for the first two weeks or so, but it improves and now I feel just fine!

The worst postpartum event for me was my intense urge to urinate, but I couldn't go because of the effects of the epidural. They gave me a catheter, but I didn't care...sweet relief when I was finally able to empty my bladder!

Mr. Z and I are struggling with trying to get Elliott into a crib to sleep. He sleeps just fine in a cosleeper next to me, but I wake up at every snort and sound, so it makes sense to get him in a crib since he is only eating once in the night...but all day today whenever I tried to put him in it for naps, he cried for me...yikes...don't know what we're going to do about that! Any tips, mamas?
pepper
Earplugs. Believe me, you'll still hear him and feel it if he moves but the breathing won't wake you up. The don't deafen you, they just muffle sounds. Try it.

We get a year paid leave here. WTF are you supposed to do w ANY amount of unpaid leave? Excuse me?! Y'all need to rise up sisters and beat that system of yours into some SHAPE! Plus you pay for health care! How do you do it?

I didn't have a lot of that postpardum mysery, it doesn't always happen just so you know. Of course it sometimes does but no need to borrow trouble worrying about that stuff now, you'll have plenty of time to focus on your sore bum, stitches and what-not later on wink.gif .

It is SO WEIRD when they start rolling around in a visible way. I could spend hours just watching the turmoil in my belly, it was utterly fascinating. Sometimes a little terrifying in an "I'm inhabited by a BEING!" sort of way but mostly just awe awesome.
zelda
I will try the earplugs tonight, Pepper!

And you're right, the postpartum thing really isn't SO bad...frankly, I had much worse pain with an anal fissure I had to have surgery on years ago...recovery from that was much worse. So don't borrow trouble, it's true.

The system here is so f'ed up....and people have been fighting for years, but...sigh. It depresses me to even think about it. It cost about $3000 for us to have Elliott...and that's CHEAP with insurance!
delibelly
Hey,

I co-slept with my son and tried the earplug idea and (forgive me for being the asshole with the horror story) woke up in the middle of the night to find him CHOKING on the earplug that had worked it's way out of my ear. How in god's name it made it's way into a six month old's mouth I will never know, except maybe he was just rooting around, found something nipple shaped, and did what came naturally.

Seriously, who would think to worry about a freaking earplug?

Spent this morning at the hospital because of some bleeding - no bad news, but it is probably a symptom of the low lying placenta not having moved. C'mon MOVE you stinkin' placenta!
aphelendra
Thanks for all the congrats ladies . . . and thanks to polly for popping in . . . I'd still love yo meet up with all you windy city busties, but looks like i'll be stuck at home for a bit!

Birth story coming shortly, I promise. We've had an insane week (obviously), but thinigs are segttling down nicely and I h'm trying to carve out a free moment to share little Sarah marie's birth with y'all.

P.s. Can ya tell I typed this leaning over My Breast Friend (thanks for th tip Zelda, boppy sucks) and a nursing babe? i suppose I could go back and fix the typos, but I think it's funnier this way. Hello parenthood!
zelda
Give yourself time, aphelendra, and be patient with yourself. Those first days/weeks home can be so overwhelming. I cried every single day for the first two weeks. My hormones were out of control...definite baby blues. I mean, I was happy, but I was also exhausted, overwhelmed, physically in pain, etc.

Now two months later, Elliott is sleeping in his crib and I am about to relax in front of Mad Men...dare I say we have the motherhood thing going (sort of), but it takes time...give it time and be good to yourself.

Also, don't worry if right away you don't feel an instant bond. It takes time...it took me about a month...now when I'm away from Elliott he is all I think about...but it takes time to get to that point, so don't worry if you find yourself wondering, 'When is this baby's real mother going to come pick her up?' I remember feeling that way at first and it's so normal. ;-)

My Brest Friend is excellent...glad you like it...they outgrow it sort of fast (well, Elliott did) and we are back to the Boppy when he is nursing, but the MBF helped during those first tough weeks. Try to air out your breasts whenever possible. (May be difficult if you have male relatives visiting.)

Thinking of you...
Michelina
In Canada we get 12 months of maternity leave. Technically, I believe the first 3 months are considered maternity leave and the last 9 are parental leave and can be taken by either parent. The goverment pays us "employment insurance" during that period, which amounts to about 55% of one's salary up to a maximum. I think the maximum may be about $400 a week, but I'm really not sure. Some employers chip in a little, and some chip in a lot. I know of people who work for the goverment who get 100% thanks to their employer topping them up!

In my case I get no additional money, but still feel thankful for what I do get. With my employer I am entitled to 18 months off, but will only get paid by the government for 12. It's nice to know that I could take extra time and still have my job if I want and if that's financially feasible.

Funnybird, I am 9 weeks now! Hard to believe that my first tri is over in just a few weeks. I can't wait! I have had some moments of minor queasiness, particularly when very tired. But that's about it! Oh and I am still having some trouble sleeping, but that seems to come and go.

How far along are all of the pregnant Busties? And what are the due dates? I like to keep track of these things. :-) My due date is March 7. I wonder if there are other 2011 babies...

Aphelendra, no pressure for the birth story. Take your time with your new little bundle.
julie124
Just popping in to say congratulations, aphelendra, and welcome Sarah! We'll be excited to hear the birth story when you're ready...like Michelina says, no rush, just enjoy your little girl!

Re: maternity leave, I took only 6 weeks. I would have loved to take more, but I had to take it unpaid and I am pretty much the breadwinner for the family (mr julie had a job on a political campaign while I was on leave, but the job ended about a month after I went back to work). I had just started my job two months before going on leave, so I didn't want to leave them hanging for too long. Technically FMLA doesn't apply to my employer because we have less than 50 employees, and actually they didn't have a formal family leave policy, but they are a family-friendly organization and have been great about being flexible with me. When I first went back I only had to work in the office about one day a week, and I could take Henry in with me. Now I normally go in about 2-3 days a week but still work a lot from home.

zelda, I totally remember that weird feeling of "wait...this is MY kid? Not my nephew or something?" that I got from time to time in the early days. That and I remember freaking out really easily, especially since they cry and you often don't have a clue what they want. And I remember wondering if I would ever get the hang of the breastfeeding thing. Now I wonder if I'll ever get my boobs back again. ;-)

Re: getting Elliott used to a crib, zelda...when we moved Henry to a crib he was still being swaddled and he slept in there happy as a clam. I don't know if he likes swaddling, but it might be nice to try. Also, we had good luck for awhile with introducing a lovey. That said, I'm probably the worst person to give sleeping advice since Henry's sleeping has deteriorated again to getting up every 2-3 hours. It's a perfect storm of teething, new solid foods, and learning to crawl and pull up on things, but the boob is the only thing that soothes him a lot of the time. I love being needed, but Mommy tired.

zelda
julie, I'd love any and all crib advice! Elliott has gone down in there for the past 3 night no problem...but his sleeping time varies. He goes to sleep anytime between 8 and 11 pm and sleeps about 10 hours...he wakes up to eat around 2 or 3 times a night and goes right back down...so so far so good, but I am not sure when he is supposed to go without eating! I've been reading No Cry Sleep Solution about trying to read their signs and not just feeding them when they wake up because sometimes they are just waking up - but sometimes nursing gets them right back to sleep, so....! I know...Mommy tired!

He is in his co sleeper IN the crib, nice and swaddled, so hopefully that will keep on working. The only thing is he refuses the crib for naps! He still wants to nap in my arms or the swing...for now, we'll take the nights and work on the napping later! :-)
Michelina
I had my second ultrasound yesterday. To everyone's surprise, our little baby grew to about 8 weeks and then died. :-( We could see the head and body, and the little sac. On a good note, the other baby is thriving. Hearbeat was 167 and he / she grew exactly the amount expected. We saw little arms and legs and a little movement. It was amazing. The other baby is starting to reabsorb and I am still to expect some spotting or worse. I have a nuchal ultrasound in a few weeks, and as long as that is good, I'll start sharing my news!

I am going to be followed by my family doc now as I don't see any need to go to an OB. The OB agrees that I can be followed by her unless complications arise. I like my fam doc way more anyway so I'm glad. The OB didn't even take my blood pressure!

My ovaries are still huge from IVF, but the doctor reassured me it's normal. They hurt now and then - a stabbing pain. A small small price to pay for the precious baby I have inside of me.

How is everyone?
pepper
Yeesh, Delibelly! What a story!
You can get earplugs that are attached together with a string but that's another choking hazzard all on it's own. Maybe if you safety pinned it to the back of your sleep shirt so it can't get away? Or maybe a white noise maker or a small fan in the room, that works for me to dull outside sounds coming into the house that would otherwise wake me. You can still hear everything but small noises don't wake you right up.
luleey
Love the typos, Aphelendra! So excited for you...and I tried out My Breast Friend at a class and think I should probably get one of those too.

Wow, that earplug story is freaky. I'll have to remember that...as I use them often.

Julie, I can only take about 6 weeks off too...gotta love the unpaid leave. Wish it wasn't such a source of stress...thank goodness breast milk is FREE!! FREE!! And I am determined to make the most of it, I don't care how much I have to pump at work. They can just DEAL.

Congrats again to Michelina, I'm glad the other little one is sticking around!!

Zelda, sounds like Elliott is a lot of fun. Love the swaddling idea, I'm going to have to practice that and get some good stretchy blankies.

I'm so rarely on the thread now sad.gif so you may have talked about this, but I saw an excerpt from the DVD The Happiest Baby on the Block and really liked the calming techniques and reflexes. I'm going to get a copy for myself.

Hugggggggs to everyone!
nickclick
Michelina, so glad to hear baby is thriving and that you are doing well too. When you get those good nuchal fold results, it's going to be sooooo much fun to share the news! Seriously, that was the best day of this pregnancy so far.

Luleey, I'll have to find that DVD at the library. There's a Happiest Baby class at the hospital, but I'd like to check it out first. Thanks for your review.

We went to a childbirth preparedness class last weekend. Very informative, comforting yet still a bit scary, as usual with information overload. Videos with birth stories, interventions, and c-sections, breathing and relaxation exercises, and a tour of the labor& delivery and mommy&baby areas of the hospital, which are reallllllly nice. And it was my birthday, so it was fun to see a new baby with the same birth date!

Now I'm waiting for results from last week's gestational diabetes screen. Should hear today.

Thursday we're off to check out a few daycare centers. Whooof, mucho dinero!
Michelina
Thanks Luleey and Nickclick!

Nickclick, how did your diabetes screen go? And how is the daycare hunting? I guess it's not too much longer for you!

I have my nuchal ultrasound next Wednesday. It couldn't come soon enough. Have been quite crampy on and off lately, but other than that, I'm feeling pretty normal. No spotting or bleeding, which is a relief. (Knocking on wood.) Second trimester is in sight now!
nickclick
Michelina, normal is good! cramping was normal for me too.

i'm clear on the gestational diabetes and have been eating ice cream like milk is going outta style! phew.

we are checking out a few more daycare options today. mostly centers, but one home daycare provider. i loved her but logistically and geographically, we'll likely pick a center close to home. and we're in talks with the 2 Grandmas about alternating one day a week of babysitting, which will be great and probably just enough for baby, mommy and grandmas.
aphelendra
So we have been having a very tough time nursing, which explains my absence from the board lately. But I thought I would take this opportunity to share Sarah Marie's birth story with everyone . . . .Nursing may be a total disaster (well, not total, baby is thriving, its just mama who's suffering), but our birth was really beautiful, and I'm hoping that taking a moment to remember it with everyone will cheer me up.

Thursday afternoon I saw my midwife for a 39 week checkup. Dilated 2 cm and 90% effaced. She suggested stripping my membranes in hopes that it would get things moving. I spent the rest of the night being mighty uncomfortable and crampy, but by midnight that night I felt like things had slowed down and resigned myself to being pregnant for a while longer.

Wrong, wrong I was. Friday morning I woke up with contractions and immediately knew that labor had started. The contractions were much different right off the bat. By eight, Mr. was up and found me curled over the side of the couch in very obvious labor.

We labored at home until about noon, by which point contractions were about 3 minutes apart, and then started loading up the car to make the trip to the hospital. Ladies, do not get in the front seat when in labor. It is excruciating to be confined in that position. Yikes.

We got to the hospital around one (took a while to get out the door). Only 5 cm! With contractions so close together I was hoping to be much further along, but it turns out I just had kind of a funny labor. So I walked and rested until about four or five when the room with the birth tub opened up. Warm water is lovely lovely lovely in labor. Labored in the tub until about eight when my water broke with a big pop. At this point I was feeling a little 'pushy', so the midwife checked my cervix again. I was 9.5 with a small anterior lip left. Honestly, if I'd been dilated any less I would have lost it and considered medication at that point. I really believe that the key to surviving without meds is to not obsess over progress . . . . I'm so glad I didn't know how dilated I was and eternally grateful to my midwife for not obsessively checking me. In childbirth class I had been told transition (7-10 cm) was the hardest part of labor, but most of it passed without me even knowing I was in transition.

At this point, I could either wait or start pushing while the midwife held the lip out of way. OHMYFUCKINGGOD. Eventually, I begged her to take her fingers away because I just couldn't stand it (exact words were "NO MORE HANDS! NO FINGERS!). So many people had told me that pushing was a relief after laboring for so long and that it would feel good to push against the pain. Gotta say, not so for me. Maybe I was expecting too much, but I hated hated hated pushing. And it took over three hours to get the little bugs out.

Crowning was not as bad as I expected, and it was strange/amazing to actually feel a baby move through the birth canal. I felt her head pop out and then felt her shoulders slide out and then she was on my belly, nice and pink but choking a bit. Again, I thank the midwife. The nurses almost grabbed her away to start suctioning her, but she shooed them away, saying baby was pink and had good tone and to leave her be, and sure enough she started crying in just a minute. At this point I think I kind of checked out mentally. We have a little bit of video from after the birth and I look absolutely dazed.

The placenta delivery was a bit hairy, I bled a lot and they had to give me pitocin and cytotec to stop the bleeding. I also tore just a bit (recovery from the tear was not bad at all, I promise!) Eventually, the river of blood subsided and we were off to recovery . . . . All in all, it was overwhelming, beautiful, empowering, and everything we could have hoped it to be.

Now we're having a really really tough time nursing, but that's a whole other whiny complainy post to come . . . .

Hope all are well, I'm off to have my nipple chewed up.

zelda
Aphelendra...thank you for sharing your birth story with us! I want to write more but a friend is about to pop in.

I want to let you know that nursing did not come easily for me, either. It took about 6 weeks to feel like I had the hang of things...now it is 11 weeks and it's the easiest thing in the world but it did not come easily! I almost gave up several times, and truth be told, we are supplementing with formula because I absolutely hate pumping and refuse to pump. We plan on giving Elliott formula during the day when I go back to work and I will nurse at night for as long as I feel comfortable. I'm admitting right here and now I was never in love with nursing and still am not and THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT.

Seriously...I spent so much of my soon-to-be-over-with maternity leave fretting about nursing and my feelings about it. I may start a bit of a @#$%#storm with this comment, but frankly, a happy mother giving formula is better than a sad mother giving breastmilk. I truly do believe this with all of my heart, and my pediatrician agreed.

I don't want to tell you to give up...and it does get easier most of the time, but please please please PLEASE don't beat yourself up about having a difficult time breastfeeding. Frankly, I think a cult of breastfeeding has developed that is really, really unhealthy for women and babies. Women feel punished or like failures if it doesn't go smoothly or if they are not in love with it. So ridiculous! Formula is not the devil's milk (my pediatrician's words exactly).

Let me know the trouble you are having and perhaps I can help...you can PM me. :-)
zelda
Aphelendra...a bit more before I turn in for the night.

Sounds like pain may be your problem. I had very painful nipples, too...I would literally feel throbbing pains through them at night...it was horrible. I would grit my teeth and cry they hurt so bad when I nursed.

A few things that helped...

*Airing them out whenever possible

*Smearing that Lansinoh cream on them constantly constantly constantly

*Using disposable rather than cloth nursing pads (I used the disposable Lansinoh brand)...I found they stuck less to the scabs on my nipples than the cloth ones. I changed out the disposable ones constantly. Around 6 or 7 weeks I graduated to the cloth ones and now my BFing is pretty well established and I don't need to use them at all.

*Ibuprofen for pain

*Really ramming that baby's mouth on there! I found that part of my problem was Elliott's latch was just too close to my nipple. Part of the problem is that a newborn's mouth is really teeny! As they get older and their mouths can open wider, they are so far from your nipple it is not a problem.

*My left nipple always hurt more than my right, so I would always start out on the right side so by the time he got to the left, he wasn't sucking so furiously

You probably already know all this...but I thought I would put it in there. I don't believe those lactation consultants who say BFing is never supposed to hurt. BS! Then how come EVERY WOMAN I KNOW who has breastfed has had some level of pain - some of them LOTS of pain? Makes no sense to me.

Hang in there.
pepper
Generally it isn't supposed to hurt if everything is happening as it should but... teeny tiny baby mouth can only open up so wide as you said and that's a factor for sure. When the girl was new I had to be very careful to get a good latch with her, teased her bottom lip until she really opened up, pinched my nipple flat as I could and really jammed it in there. Otherwise I'd feel it in a most unpleasant way for sure! Once I got a blister right on the tip of one nipple, yea Gawds! That was hurty. And once your nipples are tender it just exaccerbates the situation.

Be sure to see a consultant and show them your latch if you haven't already, sometimes we really are doing some small thing that can be adjusted for immediate relief. Also, some babies are better in certain positions (which may change as they grow).

Best of luck, I know how hard it can be so I'm thrilled to hear you're both toughing it out, bravo for you!
zelda
Yes, positioning makes a huge difference. I know you are already using the Brest Friend pillow...for me, I HAD to have Elliott in the football hold on the left boob and the cross cradle on the right. It was the only way it would work for weeks and weeks...now I could do anything, but not in the beginning.

Hang in there, aphelendra, and remember you are trying and that's what counts. DO NOT beat yourself up!!
delibelly
I think I mentioned before that I was the QUEEN of breastfeeding hiccups. I've had everything except mastitus.

So...if it hurts when she latches on and you are noticing sores on your nipple, that is a latch problem. some tips:

I have nipples like tea saucers, but still, try to get your whole nipple area (areola et al.) into the mouth. You can try pinching your nipple as Pepper suggested and jamming it in there when she opens WIDE.

Make sure she opens wide by teasing her with the nipple until she does, or by using your pinky finger to drop her lower jaw a bit when she opens her mouth.

If you have sores, I found that this cream, a creation of Dr. Jack Newman (google it) worked great. Before I tried it, my soars would not heal and (one in particular) was just re-opening and re-opening. Argh. Painful.

If you feel a burning sensation on the nipple at first, that tapers off as she nurses, that could be Thrush. They can give you gentian violet (purple stuff) to put on the nipple to take it away from the exterior. You may also want to adopt a sugar free diet for a bit to get rid of any internal Thrush that could be transferred back to baby (vicious cycle.)

If you feel a burning sensation within the breast at let down, baby nurses swiftly and is gaining weight at an extraordinary rate (little chubster), that could be overactive let-down and you may find it helps to nurse while lying on your back until your flow regulates itself.

If you have flat/inverted nipples, they make little discs you can put on the areola that sort of forces the nipple out, so that baby can latch properly.

There it is folks, as much wisdom as I have on breastfeeding. Minus mastitus.


I was thinking about what Zelda said about the cult of breastfeeding, and in my research I found that one in ten women does NOT experience difficulty breastfeeding. NINE OUT OF TEN women questioned reported difficulty with breastfeeding . So, if you are committed to it, aphelendra (and mommies out there who have yet to get to there) make sure to read up about it, see a consultant or join a La Leche League near you. I was very committed to it and after 6-8 weeks I finally figured it out, but you know what? Only a big douche canoe would judge a woman for bottle feeding.
delibelly
I think I mentioned before that I was the QUEEN of breastfeeding hiccups. I've had everything except mastitus.

So...if it hurts when she latches on and you are noticing sores on your nipple, that is a latch problem. some tips:

I have nipples like tea saucers, but still, try to get your whole nipple area (areola et al.) into the mouth. You can try pinching your nipple as Pepper suggested and jamming it in there when she opens WIDE.

Make sure she opens wide by teasing her with the nipple until she does, or by using your pinky finger to drop her lower jaw a bit when she opens her mouth.

If you have sores, I found that this cream, a creation of Dr. Jack Newman (google it) worked great. Before I tried it, my soars would not heal and (one in particular) was just re-opening and re-opening. Argh. Painful.

If you feel a burning sensation on the nipple at first, that tapers off as she nurses, that could be Thrush. They can give you gentian violet (purple stuff) to put on the nipple to take it away from the exterior. You may also want to adopt a sugar free diet for a bit to get rid of any internal Thrush that could be transferred back to baby (vicious cycle.)

If you feel a burning sensation within the breast at let down, baby nurses swiftly and is gaining weight at an extraordinary rate (little chubster), that could be overactive let-down and you may find it helps to nurse while lying on your back until your flow regulates itself.

If you have flat/inverted nipples, they make little discs you can put on the areola that sort of forces the nipple out, so that baby can latch properly.

There it is folks, as much wisdom as I have on breastfeeding. Minus mastitus.


I was thinking about what Zelda said about the cult of breastfeeding, and in my research I found that one in ten women does NOT experience difficulty breastfeeding. NINE OUT OF TEN women questioned reported difficulty with breastfeeding . So, if you are committed to it, aphelendra (and mommies out there who have yet to get to there) make sure to read up about it, see a consultant or join a La Leche League near you. I was very committed to it and after 6-8 weeks I finally figured it out, but you know what? Only a big douche canoe would judge a woman for bottle feeding.
zelda
delibelly, "a big douche canoe" is my NEW favorite saying! :-)
julie124
aphelendra, what a wonderful birth story! Thank you so much for sharing, and congratulations again on your lovely girl. I agree with you, it was a huge help for me that they weren't obsessive about checking my progress, because it meant that by the time things were really intense I'd actually made it almost all the way through transition.

Add me to the list of women who had big-time breastfeeding challenges. Like zelda, it took me probably about 6-8 weeks to kind of get the hang of things. Also, I was fortunate enough to be able to taper off the formula and just go with boob juice all the way now, but I completely agree with zelda's statement that a happy mommy with formula is better than a sad mommy with exclusive breastfeeding.

My nipples hurt like hell too...the ladies had some great advice and I second that, but here are a couple of additions:
-Ibuprofen if your doc says it's OK. I found it really helped me with the inflammation on the nips.
-Soothies - these are these silicone disks that you can put on your nipples if they're really sore. They feel really good if you keep them in the refrigerator
-I can't remember what you call it - I think it's a nipple shield? - but when I was getting Henry back on the breast and my nips were still healing it was a big help. Eventually it worked better to get him on without it, but it really helped me get him on without searing pain every time.
-If you find that it hurts a lot when she's really hungry, try giving her a little from the bottle first, then switching to the boob - I found that made him less likely to practically tear my nipple off.
-If you're OK pumping, sometimes a little break from directly having her on the boob might help. Pumping is, of course, its own whole deal, and I completely understand if you don't want to get on that train.
-Sometimes hanging out shirtless for a day is a real help for healing your nipples. I always felt weird doing it, but it does help.
-Be patient waiting for them to open their mouths really wide...sometimes it feels like all they ever do is that little bitty mouth, and they are furious at you for not getting the milk to them NOW...I know it's hard!
-If they drink from a bottle sometimes, try to encourage good mouth position on that (and on pacifiers too). I was always like, "Where are my fish lips? I need fish lips, buddy!"
-Get someone to give you a break if you can. I found that I was able to cope a lot better when I'd had a shower or a nap or an hour out of the house without Henry...being at home alone with a little bitty one for many many hours has a weird effect on your psyche, I think. Especially in the early days when you're terrified of breaking them and everyone is telling you, "You are the expert on your baby" but you feel like a big dumbass because he has been crying like he's never cried before and you have no clue what he wants, so does that mean you suck at learning your baby? Hmm, maybe that was just me. ;-)

Take care...like delibelly says, it's hard for almost everyone, and most of us have ended up in tears at one point or another. It's okay. You will figure it out, but don't feel bad asking for help, because it ain't intuitive.

How are the mamas-to-be holding up?
aphelendra
Ha! Douche canoe! Thanks for the giggle deli, I needed it. And many many thanks to all for their concern. I'm hoping, like you lovely ladies, that something will turn around by the 6-8 week mark. She's about 4.5 weeks now.

I did end up having thrush (stabbing burning AGONY, oh my goodness), so I'm hoping once the incredibly loooooong treatment is over for that things will improve. Mostly right now I'm worried about the incredible cracks I've gotten goin' on. One has been there since she was ten days old and doesn't ever seem to be getting better. There are multiple deep cracks on both sides and I just can't seem to get them to go away, despite all the TLC I can muster. I've tried just about everything I can think of, except for exposing my breasts to sunlight for five minutes a day. I live in the city, and I don't think my ultra conservative catholic neighbors would take kindly to the sight of me sunnin' my nips in the backyard . . . .

We've had our latch checked by both an LC and the CPM who taught my childbirth class, and it appears good. I've tried shields, shells, lansinoh, Dr. Newman's (worked for a while then quit on me), diflucan, air drying, pumping (hurt too much and baby currently won't accept finger feeding or a bottle), ibuprofen, and I've been attending a weekly support group for nursing moms (not la leche but similar).

Sheesh.

Thanks for letting me vent. Just the fact that ya'll took the time to share your experiences and advice means the world.

Pregnant busties, I've hijacked your thread . . . . how are you all?
Michelina
Aphelendra, your birth story was beautiful and inspiring. Thank you for sharing it. Sorry to hear that breast feeding is a struggle. It seems that pretty much everyone I know also struggled. I used to naively think that it would be easy as it's natural, but that is so not the case. Good for you for hanging in there and trying. And although I have no advice for you based on experience, I think the Busties here are right that you shouldn't beat yourself up.

Nickclick, glad to hear the diabetes screen was all good. Yay for ice cream.

I have my nuchal scan in one hour. So excited and nervous!!!
funnybird
Michelina, how did it go?

Aphelendra, don't worry about hijacking. It's good to have a realistic idea of what's to come - although I know that both my SILs have really struggled with breastfeeding, so already my view is less than rose-tinted. Loved your birth story too.

I'm 29 weeks and 2 days! My back aches, I feel like I have a constant stitch in my side and Babybird hardly ever stops wriggling and kicking. I keep feeling little hard lumps in my bump - at first I panicked and thought I had a hernia, then it moved and I realised it was just a tiny foot/ knee/ elbow jammed against the wall of my uterus.

Nickclick and Luleey, how are you doing?
zelda
Funny, so great to hear from you! I can't believe you're almost at 30 weeks! That is so awesome. Make sure you take lots of pictures of yourself. I didn't want any photos of me after 32 weeks because I felt so huge, but now I kind of wish I'd taken one right up at the end when I could barely walk. :-)

Michelina, how did it go? Swimmingly, I'm sure...oh, so soon you'll be in the wonderful second tri - the golden stage of pregnancy! :-)

Aphelendra, bless you for continuing the BFing...I don't think I would have made it given everything you have gone through. Hang in there and know whatever choices you make are the right ones for your baby and you. Remember, you need to take care of yourself, too. Those cracks you are talking about - I had them, too, although mine did respond well to Lansinoh. Screw your neighbors - sun those nips!

Elliott and I are visiting my parents on the East Coast while Mr. Z holds down the fort back home. E is so tuckered out from all the activity he is sleeping from 8 or 9 pm at night until 8 am with only one feeding around 3 or 4 am. Bliss! His colic meltdowns continue to improve and he is doing lots of cooing and laughing. The best part is watching him analyze his hands. He adores them! :-)
Michelina
Funnybird, great to hear from you! I cannot believe how far along you are now! Good to hear that babybird is doing well, although it does sound a little uncomfortable.

My scan went great today. The nuchal measurement was nice and low. We still need to wait for the blood test results, but I feel pretty reassured that it will likely be okay. It was amazing to see how much baby changed since 3 weeks ago. I feel so good and excited! Our next ultrasound will be the standard one at 18 - 20 weeks, which will be in October. That feels so far away! At least I'll get to hear baby's heart beat at my next doc appointment in a few weeks. I am so looking forward to feeling movement. Still in shock that this is really happening and not just a wonderful dream.
nickclick
aphelendra, thanks for sharing your story! and for sharing your breastfeeding concerns, and to all for sharing your advice. breastfeeding is the thing i'm most worried about doing wrong. i've changed diapers before, but breastfeeding seems so foreign. im gonna print out all of your advice and tuck it away in whatever book(s) i get on the topic. any suggestions?

michelina that's great news! it's really happening! oh the 18/20 week scan is the best. you'll be there for like an hour and see baby from every angle. will you find out boy/girl? we went for a "bringing home baby" class at the hospital the other night and out of about 12 preggos i was the only one waiting for birthday to find out. i'm so excited for the "it's a ____' moment, but i can't help but think baby may be less abstract if it had a name already other than the few nicknames of baby and peanut.

funny, i'm at 30 weeks too! glad you're doing well too and thanks for checking in on me. yes the bumping around is constant now!

speaking of bumping (and grinding), mr.nick and i have been afraid to have sex since i was in the hospital a few weeks ago with minor premature contractions, because of the old wives' tale that sex will help induce labor. we had sex the morning before i had the contractions. so silly right?
delibelly
Nickclick, I just wanted to let you know that my placenta has moved to 6.5 cm (they want at least 2.5) at my 33 week ultrasound. I know you and I both had low-lying placenta and I hope my news will encourage you to think the best. When will you find out?

nickclick
that's great news delib! i went back at about 25 weeks and she saw that it moved. well, at first she said no and then she said she was thrown off by a muscle contract and said yes, it had moved. i asked my OB about going again but she feels confident in the reading. is 33 weeks another routine scan? OB said i won't be getting a peek at baby again until s/he arrives!
Fookie
Wonderful birth story, Apehlendra! Thank you for sharing it.

Michelina, so glad the scan went well. I think of you often and remember how we both despaired so much on this thread and how much both our lives have changed since even a few months ago.

Nicklick and Funny, so good to hear from you. Happy to hear things are going well for both of you. Look forward to hearing more news as these last weeks unfold.

I have not breastfed, but I wanted to jump in with some advice about the thrush anyway if that's OK ... my sister who is very yeasty naturally managed to avoid thrust and diaper rash (also yeast-based) by taking a really good probiotic supplement as suggested by her mid-wife. My best friend's son had thrush that just wouldn't go away ... her pharmacist finally told her to try canesten (yep!) and assured her it was safe for him to ingest. She said it worked like a charm but tasted disgusting (she tasted to see what her son would be tasting). When we brought Finn home he had been on a course of antibiotics for thrush and the bottle was almost empty and he still had it pretty bad. Coincidentally our naturopath had suggested some good quality probiotic powder to add to his bottle to help mature his intestines (he was having horrible evening gas/colic issues) ... she said the probiotic would help prevent the thrush from returning ... well sure enough the thrush suddenly magically cleared up and we've had no issues since (he's still taking the probiotic).

I sadly don't really have time to update but my god do i ever have some updating to do ... Finn is doing fantastic but we've run into some very scary (but so far resolved) issues with the actual adoption. Emotions are stretched to the limit at this point but it seems the outcome will be positive and we will eventually be able to get back to teh business of doing nothing but love our magnificent son.

Oh, and Zelda, thrilled to hear the breastfeeding has gotten easier!
catsoup
I've got a TTC question: My period over a week late and in that week I've had three negative at home pregnancy tests, including this morning. I've been experiencing a bit of nausea (not much, no puking) and some cramps. I've also noticed some clear to whitish discharge when I wipe. No other symptoms to speak of. In the 8 months I've been off hormonal birth control (after more than a decade on it), my period has never been this late. I'm definitely stressed out (we're buying a house) and think that's contributing to all of this. Any advice? How long should I wait before calling the doctor?

Thanks for any help/reassurance you can offer. smile.gif
Laurenzorro
Hey, I was having the same problem a while back.... after a few very irregular periods (over a week late with negative preg tests, cramps, what seemed like severe PMS) I went to the doctor and it turns out I have polycystic ovaries.

Luckily for me it's not PCOS or in any sort of problematic form so I am free to ride it out and keep on ttc, and hopefully (according to the gyno) having a bub will sort it out.

So could be worth popping in to the doctor! I hope everything turns out well, it could just be that you didn't ovulate due to stress smile.gif
zelda
Catsoup, a urine home preg test is usually reliable this late, but you never know. There have been cases where a woman has just not been making enough HCG to get a positive. Are you using concentrated pee? This is a good resource:

http://www.peeonastick.com/

Remember stress can't make your period late, only your ovulation...

More later and good luck to you and to laurenzorro!
Michelina
Fookie, yes, it blows me away how different things are for several of us on this board when compared to this time last year. It sounds like you had a frightening experience lately. So sorry to hear that, but I am glad to hear that it's resolved. I hope it continues to stay resolved. I think of you often too.

Catsoup, I can relate to the frustration of cycles going wonky when trying to conceive. I didn't the same experience, but my period strarted coming early a few months in. It was very stressful, but I did get in to a specialist quite quickly. I hope you get some answers quickly.

Laurenzorro, nice hearing from you too! Glad to hear it's not PCOS. Hope it won't be long now for you.
funnybird
Catsoup, what happened?

Fookie, I'm glad to hear scary-sounding issues have been resolved. You, Mr F and wee Finn really deserve a smooth ride after all you've been through to be together.

Michelina, how's the second trimester treating you?

Today we discovered that if Architect Boy holds a cardboard tube against my belly he can hear Babybird's heartbeat. Fun! Nine weeks to go...
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