It’s good to know that people still think women go to college to get their MRS degree. At the World Islamic Economic Forum, Prime Minister of Malaysia Najib Razak spoke about the place of women in Islamic societies and remarked, "Before coming here, my officials have told me that the latest university intake in Malaysia, a Muslim country, 68% will be women entering our universities." To which London Mayor Boris Johnson interjected it’s because ... Read More
I haven’t seen such a mockery of surfing since Mary Kate and Ashley’s Hawaiian Beach Party. And at least in that video, they actually surfed. A new advertisement for Roxy Pro Biarritz – an all-female world surfing contest – has caused quite stir down under, and rightfully so, because it’s straight-up idiotic. Here’s the play-by-play: Woman rolls around topless in bed and picks up her cell phone, woman puts on sheer white top, ... Read More
  There is some serious sketchiness up in the prison system. Shocking, I know. At least 148 women were sterilized from 2006 to 2010, with a probable 100 more cases dating back to the 90s in the California Institution for Women and Valley State Prison for Women. And in many cases, these procedures were done without full consent, explanation, or extreme coercion. Here’s the short story: several inmates who were pregnant at the time of incarceration ... Read More
  I never liked the idea of camp. To me, it featured all the things I despised: sunshine, people, nature, sing-alongs about Jesus, activities, mosquitos, the burgeoning threat of friendship...not my bag. Plus, I came from a Vacationer family, so instead of having my parents ship me off to Shady Lake, they insisted on spending 2 to 4 weeks in the summer sweating together in Florida or pre-Snooki Seaside. Regardless, at no point in my adolescence did I feel the ... Read More
  When Elizabeth Mort had her newborn taken and put into foster care for five days, you'd think she'd done something horribly illicit in her short tenure as a mother. Was she a puppy killer? A drug lord? No, she had a poppy seed bagel for breakfast.  And no, I’m not kidding. Mort had eaten a poppy-seed bagel hours before giving birth, and with poppy seeds being the routes of drugs such as heroin and morphine, Mort ended up testing positive for ... Read More
So I haven’t heard of Kraft’s “Zesty Guy” until recently, mostly because I think salad is the devil. I plan to be like the great residents of Pawnee, Indiana one day: “first in friendship, fourth in obesity.” However, yesterday I laid my eyes on Kraft’s latest Zesty Guy ad and...god, I am hungry for some vegetables. Of course, though, due to the "provocative" nature of the ad (as you can see, the man is all but naked aside ... Read More
Courtney Love threw rose petals at me. I managed to get one, put it in my bra, and sure enough it had wilted by the time I got home. I felt like that pretty much summarized my quest to see her in Asbury Park. But let me backtrack. There are a few things you need to know about me before we proceed:  I’m from Jersey.  I’m tiny.  I’m kind of an asshole.  I love Courtney Love more than anything. My high school years were lived ... Read More
Someone picked the wrong kid to mess with. When confronted with a dangerous, frightening situation, 12-year-old Marilyn Wildflower was able to defend herself, and scare off a predator without leaving her own bed.  Wildflower woke up in the middle of the night to a stranger who was masturbating with one hand and lifting up her sheets with his gun simultaneously. I’m pretty sure that’s right up there on the list of things that are absolutely ... Read More
  “You know what’s the male-equivalent of calling a girl a slut? Calling a guy a creep.” These are actual words my ex-boyfriend once said to me. And he was wrong, of course. Like, dead wrong, you can't even compare the damage of the of the two - what are you even talking about? But I can kind of see the parallel, and it’s something I’ve thought about since. In fact, I've discussed this at length over many mojitos: What defines a ... Read More
Two weeks ago, we discussed the serious issue of living with Bitchy Resting Face. If you need a quick refresher lesson on the disorder, it’s when a woman’s face has about the same emotional range as MTV's Daria. I also touched upon my own struggles with bitch face, which, along with my lack of proper people skills and habit of wearing all-black, pretty much solidified my place as a social pariah from ages 9 to...now. All the symptoms of chronic bitch ... Read More
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